Conference moira::parenting_v3

    We had much the same dilemma this year.  Here are some of my options,
    they may work for you.
    
    Kyle started full day school, but needs part-time care from 3:00-5:15
    on Thursday and Fridays only.  The Adult Learning Center runs an after
    school program at the elementary level right on the school grounds, but
    when I called in August, would not take a part-timer until they hasd
    all the full-timer they could take.
    
    The daycare center he went to for the last year plus is in another
    district.  No transportation provided and even though it is right next
    to the bus depot, the transportation department would not allow him to
    be dropped off in their driveway!  
    
    I called another mother whose kids were in the same school/daycare to
    see if we could work out a deal, but she won't be sending her boys-she
    went to part-time work.  Yes, my options are running out.
    
    Finally, the week school started, I called the ALC again and they will
    take a part-time student.  Problem solved (for now).
    
    Check with other parents to see if any can provide/help with
    transportation;  check about an after school program on the premesis;
    if she is starting school maybe a change in daycare wouldn't be that
    traumatic - she's making big changes anyway.  Maybe if they coincided
    or if you made the changes during the summer.
    
    Just a few thoughts!
    -sandy
    

     It isn't apparent to me how old Kathryne is.

     IMO, the benefits to the child of keeping the same daycare for
the reasons you mention are somewhat overrated.  My daughter
attended the same daycare for several years, from toddlerhood
through first grade, or maybe second -- I don't remember now.  She
had several good friends in daycare, but not one of those
friendships survived.  Not due to disagreements -- just a matter
of kids drifting apart.  I think that there are several reasons.

-    Daycare populations tend to be very transient.  Kids come and
     go in daycare.  Their parents move, change job situations,
     decide on different daycare options, and the like.

-    Do you already know how many of her current buddies would
     attend the same school as she does?  If not you might try to
     find out.  My guess is that the number is suprisingly small.
     There may be a lot of people like you, and if School District
     20 has more than one elementary school, Kathryne's daycare
     friends might be in different schools.  In my daughter's case,
     with daycare in the school district (four elementary schools),
     none of her daycare friends were in her class, none in her
     grade, and only a few in the same school.  

-    Whereever Kathryne starts school, she will start to accumulate
     a new set of friends.  Some of the daycare friendships may
     survive for a period of time, but over time, the majority of
     her friends will be school friends.  

This creates a problem for you, because when the birthday party
invitations come, and she starts to want to go to friends' houses
to play, and she wants to invite friends over to play, that could
end up being really inconvenient for you and her friends' parents.
And over a period of time, you start having school-related
"extracurricular" activities, such as brownies, etc.  Believe me,
as your kids get older, you start to feel like a taxi service even
if things are located close to you.  My advice is to keep school
close to home. 
 
Clay

    AFter reading Clay's note, I realize that my son's best friend (whom he
    met in K) doesn't go to daycare, is in his class this year and they are
    still best friends.  They met each other frequently over the summer. 
    They live far enough apart that "taxi service" is needed.  You will be
    surprised what makes "best friends" for these kids - it won't always be
    convenience, either!  I am glad my son has a buddie to call and get
    together with - he also has his neighborhood friends (though mostly
    younger).
    
    Anyone with a 6 year old boy looking to buy a house in our
    neighborhood?
    
    -sandy
    

    Liz, 
    	Your timing is perfect.  We are getting ready to move from District
    20 into District 49 (Falcon) and our daycare is in District 20
    (homecare) since I work over at CXN2 I still wanted to keep Shayne in 
    District 20, who do I contact to make arrangements???  You mentioned 
    having to pay $$, to whom and how much????
    	Shayne won't be starting kindergarten for a couple more years but 
    I want to make sure I get the ball rolling since he does have special 
    needs and the district is supposed to start him in pre-school next
    year. 
    
    Thanks,
    Malinda 

I've been thinking about this alot lately, too.  My son is 3 and attends
daycare in the next town over from where we live.  The daycare center is 
practically next door to an elementary school.  Also, the daycare will be
offering a kindergarten program in the near future, so I've been mulling over

1. Should we send him to kindergarten in his "assigned" school in our town?
   Drawback : he will be leaving all of his current friends behind.  Also,
   I'd have make arrangements to get him to daycare the other 1/2 day he's
   not at school.

2. Should we see if we can get him in the elementary school next to his
   daycare?  No guarantees he will know anyone, but it's convenient since
   he can still attend his daycare 1/2 days.  How do we go about getting our
   child into another town's school?  What about 1st grade?

3. Should we send him to the daycare's kindergarten?  This option costs money.
   Again, what do we do when he reaches first grade?

Then I started thinking about when I went to kindergarten ....and know what? I
don't think I had ANY friends my own age PRIOR to going to kindergarten.  I
played with my siblings and with the neighbor kids next door and across the
street, even tho there was a girl my age just around the corner who really
wasn't a "friend" until we were in kindergarten together.  

So I don't think whether or not your child will know anyone in kindergarten
should carry any weight.  If I had to decide TODAY, I'd pick the "assigned"
school district...because chances are he'll develop friendships in 
kindergarten that can be carried over into 1st grade.

� �ori �

>chances are he'll develop friendships in 
>kindergarten that can be carried over into 1st grade.
    
    ...and high school.
    
    	Last weekend I attended my 20 year high school reunion and
    it was so fun seeing people I went to grade school with.  I grew
    up in a very dysfunctional family, but one thing I did get as 
    a child was consistancy in friends.  It's so neat to see kids I
    shared my youth with 20-30 years later.  Childhood friendships,
    I feel are one of the most important rights a child can have.
    
    Just my humble opinion.
    
    Jodi-

Liz,

I haven't read all the replies but....

Our Children's World has a "swap" agreement with another Children's World.
They don't take the kids to the schools out of their district, but they
take some kids to another Children's World, and pick up some from that 
Children's World.  Then each one delivers the children in their district.

This way your daughter can get to know the new people (from the other
CW) and keep up with her old friends too!

FWIW

FWIW.....

I had a similar dilemna last year when Matt started Kindergarten....should I 
send him to the K in the daycare or send him to the school he'd be going to
in the next years.......I decided that I'd rather have him start K where he'd
be going for the next 8 more years and I guess I lucked out in that the school
I'm sending him to (parochial) will bus anywhere in the city........so he got
to still see his "old" friends in daycare half the day while he made new 
friends in K the other half.....it definitely made a difference this year
when he left the daycare altogether....at least he already had friends for
first grade and just had to adjust to a new after-school care arrangement,
not both at the same time.......

Debbi J

Hi,

I have two children, 5 and 2.  Both kids go to the same daycare center now 
and have been going there since they were 6 weeks old.  They have both done 
well there and we are happy with the situation.

The problem is that my 5 year old will be starting kindergarten in the fall.  
We do not live in the same town as the daycare center so transportation 
will not be available to take him to school.  I need to find a new 
solution to daycare to allow Kurt to go to kindergarten.  I feel that these 
are my choices:

o keep him in present daycare and find someone to take him back and forth 
  to school (the hours are 9-12 first half and switch to 12-3 second half)

o find a new daycare in our town that will allow him to take the bus to 
  school. (there are a few home providers but I haven't found any with 
  openings)

o let him stay at the daycare for one more year since it is licensed for 
  kindergarten (will face the same problem next year, and he'll miss out on 
  making new friends from the start).

o find someone to take care of the kids in our home (extra cost, and the 
  2 year old will miss out on daycare/preschool activities.)

I'm really struggling with how to resolve this issue.  I'd like to hear any 
solutions other parents have found that work well.  My husband and I both 
work full time and commute which amounts to about 50 hours a week that our 
kids are in daycare.  Any suggestions or comments would be greatly 
appreciated.

Sue

    I am in a similar situation; I have a 5- and a 3-year-old.  We are very
    happy with our center, but it's 20 minutes from home and won't work
    when kindergarten starts.  I haven't found daycare I'm comfortable with
    and will probably hire a live-out nanny and send the 3-year-old to a
    "traditional" nursery school/preschool (two mornings).
    
    How old will your younger one be in September (i.e., old enough for a 
    preschool?)  If not and you hire someone to take care of your children
    in your home, he/she could enroll the younger one in age-appropriate
    activities (at a local Y, for example) that would involve other kids.
    Also, this kind of care probably isn't much more than you were paying 
    for two kids in a center.
    
    -Tracy
    

    My youngest will be 28 months in September so she is old enough for 
    preschool. However, most preschools seem to require that the child
    be potty trained.  Joanna can go to the bathroom by herself but has
    no control over bowel movements. 
    
    A live-out nanny is not out of the question but cost is an important
    issue.  What's the going rate for nannies these days?
    
    Sue

    When it was my son's turn, many years ago, I opted to keep him in the
    daycare kindergarten rather than deal with the hassles of how Mass sets
    up kindergartens.  He learned more in the daycare setting than he would
    have in the public school, did not have trouble making friends when he
    got to first grade (classes will probably change anyway), and I had
    another year of worry-free care.
    
    Alison

    I went for the full-day (private) kindergarten; don't get me started on
    the "half-days/everybody swap midwinter!" chaos that is my town's idea
    of ideal scheduling.... >|-(
    
    Now is the time for you to call the school where your child will attend
    1st grade (fall of '93) to get the skinny on what kinds of after-school
    care are available.  Maybe none; maybe, as in my town, there's ONE
    program with very few slots, most of which are taken by kids who were
    in it the prior year.  If so, you need to jump on it now: get it in
    writing (in *blood*!) that they have you on their mailing list(s) for
    notices about when they'll be accepting applications.  There may be
    many mailing lists (one from the school dept., one from the grammar
    school, one from the after-school program) and you want to be on all of
    them.
    
    Good luck!
    
    Leslie