Conference moira::parenting_v3

Cherie,

Just a couple of thoughts.  After each of my kids was born, I didn't resume
working until quite a bit later than 6 weeks, and I have been part time ever
since my first was born.  It sounds like you'll be resuming full-time work?
To me, that'd be too much to dive into at 6 weeks (but I know lots of people
do it!) - is it possible for you to be part-time for a while?

The phone calls may be difficult to deal with if they are from people to whom
you can't comfortably say "can't talk now - can I call you back at <time> ?".
At 6 weeks, your baby's sleeping and eating schedule will probably be fairly
predictable, but there'll still be a lot of variation in when your "free"
times of day are.  It'll be difficult to answer the phone if you're in the
middle of a diaper change, or a bath, or when the baby's crying, and it may
also be awkward during a feeding, especially if you need to be writing things
down during the call.

Are you able to handle multiple things at once, and to walk away from an
unfinished piece of work and come back to it later and pick right up where
you left off?  If you're good at this sort of thing, I'd think the work on
the system will go ok - you really won't be able to count on big chunks of
uninterrupted time to concentrate on work during the day, though.

You get no guarantees on what kind of personality your baby will have.  I have
two "easy" kids, and I can work quite effectively from home.  Neither was
colicky, both have always been very good sleepers, both have very good-natured
personalities when awake, etc.  If any of these factors had not been true, I
don't know if it would have worked out.  I would think, though, that if your
baby does require a lot of attention, you might be able to get somebody to
come for a few hours a day to help out?  (Relative, student, friend, ...?)

I hope this doesn't sound too negative.  My overall reaction is GO FOR IT!!
I strongly believe that it's important to come up with creative work
arrangements that work for you as an individual.  (The more people that do that,
the more likely I can continue my own creative arrangements, right? :) )

Good luck, and I'd be happy to discuss it more with you off-line if you're
interested.
	cheryl

    Cherie,
    
    I never tried this with a newborn, but some days I will work from home
    with my two boys home.  I find it almost impossible to get anything
    done (they're 3 and 6).  Everyone ends up pretty unhappy - me because I
    said I would do "So and so" for work, and them because I can't play
    with them.
    
    Basic word of caution .... if you think you can do 8 hours of work from
    home, TELL THEM you think you can do 4 hours.  That's probably fairly
    realistic based on my experiences, even with just one of them home.  If
    you can do more, that's GREAT, but if you tell them less, you won't be
    dealing with the stress of "Oh gawd, what does this kid want NOW?  I've
    only gotten 5 hours of work done, and it's 4:00, and they're going to
    know and they're going to fire me, and I really can't take this ...."
    on and on ...  DON'T bite off more than half what you think you can
    chew!!  It's a lot easier to tell them you can do more than to ask for
    LESS!
    
    Good Luck!!  I'd certainly have at least tried it if I could've!
    
    Patty

    I worked from home 5 weeks after Amy was born - one thing I found was
    that small babies do not tend to cooperate with your plans.  If I
    wanted to make a call, or write a memo, or work on a problem, Amy
    wanted attention.  She seemed to know if I was not giving her my full
    attention!  I found that I was desperately trying to get her off to
    sleep, knowing I had work to do, then getting annoyed when she didn't
    (not her fault but it was very frustrating).
    
    I think the main things to remember are;
    
    1.  Don't expect too much from yourself or the baby
    
    2.  Don't over commit yourself
    
    Somedays I literally managed to do nothing, others I managed up to 5
    hours (I don't think I ever got more than that).  I was very lucky - I
    worked in a group and for a manager who was very understanding.  The
    only commitment was that I would do what I could, when I could, with no
    pressure from them.  Though I found I tended to put the pressure on
    myself!
    
    Anyway - Good luck, hope everything goes well for you.
    
    Pam
                                               
    

Cherie,

   I also had the oportunity to work from home for a while.  My management made
a very informal deal in which I would keep track of the hours I worked, and
then they would "extend" my maternity leave by that length of time.  
Theoretically that deal could have extended indefinitely if I worked 40 hours
each week.  That was never a problem though - over the course of 4 weeks, I
managed to rack up a whopping 12 hours.  Since newborns tend to cat-nap, it 
is really difficult to find more than 30 minutes or an hour at a time to work
uninterrupted.  For me - it takes that long just to get started some times.

    For what it's worth - I tried this during the second half of my 8-week 
unpaid leave, so Michelle was about 3 months old at the time.  I think it 
would have been even more difficult when she was first born since my body was 
still recovering.

    Is it possible to strike an informal deal with your management?  By that
I mean - can you tell them you will work as much as you can, but not promise
any particular volume?  That way if it turns out to be impossible, you won't
have to deal with feeling guilty or pressured.

    Hopefully you will have more success than I did.  It is DEFINITELY worth 
the try.  Good luck.

-Carol

    
    My 2 cents - Get a Cordless Phone!  One of the best investments I ever
    made!!
    

    As everyone else says... try it!. I went back to working from home
    after my maternity leave finished BUT... in England we get a total 
    of 18 weeks, I think I started back after about 16 weeks. 
    
    One word of warning - it's hard! I too forgot that babies (young or
    otherwise) are not the most cooperative of people, you need to get
    something done in the next half hour and you can guarentee that they
    want feeding/changing/decide to scream, you get an imprortant phone
    call and they generally choose the decide to scream" option! Some days
    you feel as if you've been continually running in circles and achieve 
    absolutely nothing. It's hard not to get frustrated with them (and
    yourself) if you're not getting anything done - and  if you do get mad
    at them because you're getting nowhere you feel sooo guilty about it
    afterwards.
    
    ... but, regardless of all the possible pitfalls I still think you're
    right to try it. You may be far better at juggling work and baby than
    most, and you never know... you could get a very co-operative baby!
    
    Ann.
    
    P.S. I still do 2 days a week from home - Christopher is now 9 months
    and I'm not really convinced it gets easier - just more fun!

I was off for eight weeks.  I logged in the day after delivery (notebook 
computer at the hospital) and then used the same method to log in from my bed
at home where I spent most of the next three weeks.  This was just to keep up
with the routine mail (birth congratulations, junk and informational messages).

Over the rest of my maternity leave I logged in mostly to read.  I found this
easy to do when the baby was nursing (he was a slow nurser, so I could count
on 45 minutes).  Typing would have required a good set up of pillows but I think
that could have worked.

Of course, that was on my own time - I was sleeping when I needed it and 
received only a handful of phone calls.  We also did a lot of "tag team
parenting" - that is, I would do my own "adult" stuff when my husband was home
and he could play with Alex.  Actually, that's what we still do a lot ;-}

The first reply seemed to say it all - it's impossible to make an arrangement
now that you can guarantee.  Perhaps the suggestion for a cordless phone and
a portable computer might make it easier (type anywhere, upload files later).

Now, with a 19-month-old, I can do a bit of trade publication reading if I'm
in the room where he's playing.  Logging in is a challenge when someone wants
to share the keyboard - from an early age, he's wanted to be doing what mom
is doing.

I know a woman in my facility who worked at home one day per week with her
two year old.  She spoke of her daughter as being "very resourceful" at amusing 
herself.  She's since gone to part-time work.

I would be interested to hear other replies, since I think that home-based
work makes sense for so many reasons - childcare, pollution control, cheaper
facility costs, quality of life.

I'm impressed that your management has the confidence in your performance to
offer you the opportunity.

Good luck,

=ss

    From my experience, BUY a SWING!!  I swear without the baby swing I'd
    have never accomplished a single task. 
    
    I also found that many times I could only get about 2 hours of work
    done at a single sitting.  Much of that work was accomplished at night
    while he was sleeping, and if he did wake up I had my husband to rely
    on to entertain him. 
    
    I'd also say that none of this can be accomplished until the baby is 3
    or more months old.
    
    Lyn

    RE: .1
    
    You summed it all up very well.
    
    

    I took a 18 week paternal leave, in addition to the 6 weeks STD.  I
    never did much Digital work from home during that time, except for
    keeping current on mail. However, I am the president of a state-wide
    woman's group.  I did do that type of work while I was at home.
    
    Like an earlier note, you must be prepared to be *very* flexible. 
    Small, easily interrupted projects work best.  If you need long
    stretches of time to concentrate on something, then you will most
    likely be disappointed.  (When my daughter got her first shots at
    two months old, I got my first long stretch of time -- probably 3
    hours!)  
    
    A cordless phone is a must.  You can then get to a baby to prevent a
    crying streak (put a pacifier in, rock the infant seat, and so on) *OR*
    walk away from one to cut down on the noise. :-)
    
    Good luck!
    
    judy

    I meant parental leave, not paternal leave in the last note.
    
    I didn't mean to be sexist, or wrong!
    
    judy

I am going to go against the flow here and say "no way" based on my own
experiences.

I have 2 children.  Both were/are easy babies.  However, I cannot imagine 
being able to get any work done from home.

With my 2nd baby, I was a little more organized and manage to squeeze out
some free time during the day while at home with him.  But I rarely had more
than 1 hour of free time at a stretch.  He took 45 minute naps during the
day but slept through the night for 10 hours at 1 month so I couldn't complain. 
He also required frequent feedings (every 2 1/2 hours) so it seemed like I was
constantly feeding him.  I would just finish feeding him, he'd sleep for 45
min. and then it was time to feed him again.

With my first I never had free time. I was ALWAYS washing clothes, sterilizing
bottles, and stuff like that while he slept. When he was awake I couldn't
resist playing with him or doing stuff.  I TRIED to work from home but couldn't
manage it (and I'm a very organized person, too.)

I wish you the best of luck!

� �ori �

    
    I think it would be extremely difficult to be able to do much other
    than keep current (read mail, etc) from home with a young infant, or 
    toddler for that matter, in the absense of some type of child-care 
    assistance.  There is absolutely NO WAY that I could have put in 
    the equivalent of 8 hours of work a day while at home with my son 
    the first 10 weeks.   I'd guess that 2 hours a day would have been
    the tops that I could have managed.   
    
    Carol

    I have to agree with the "part-time" folks on this one.  I've been 
    working in and out of my home for almost 4 years now.  Some days I
    get more done at home than in the office.  Other days it's useless.
    
    My daughter was definitely a full time baby from day 1.  I was able
    to do quite a bit of work, however, when Dad was home, but that
    also took away from our time together.
    
    Phone calls weren't too bad.  I let the folks know of the situation,
    and they were not only agreeable, but ccoperative because they knew
    what I was trying to accomplish.  
    
    FWIW...it was great for me to work from a psychological point.  It was
    a way to 'take a baby-break' when I needed one.  It also helped me
    transition back to full time later.
      

    
    I am presently in this situation. I work 30 hours a week -- 16 (2 days)
    in the office and 14 from home. This works out to about 5 hours a day
    on the three workdays I don't go into the office. I'm not having a 
    problem doing it at all, but Anna is a wonderfully easy baby, is now
    on the bottle full-time and is almost 4 months old. There was no way
    I would have been able to do this at all until she was at least 2
    months since up to that point she needed so much of my attention.
    I'm realing enjoying doing this but alas next week is my last week and
    then I'm back in the office full-time. 
    
    I could not image trying to work from home with the next one unless
    I still sent Anna to daycare. But hopefully with the next one I'll be
    able to take more time off before I start back to work.
    
    Patty

    
    I have combined telecommuting/flextime for the last year.  I found it
    easier to work from home when my daughter was a newborn.  As she grew
    mobile, I found I had to schedule my working times while the children
    were sleeping or the older one was at school and the younger napping.
    
    I arranged my schedule this way:
    
    Mon, Weds - In the office 10 hours
    Tues, Thurs - Telecommute - 5 hours, (6:30 to 9:00 a.m.) and (12:00 to 2:30
    p.m)
    Fridays - off - except for emergencies and telephone calls.
    
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Some tricks of mine:
    
    o	Portable phones are nice, but a speaker phone with "mute" button 
        is essential - Hands free - its really great for long concalls -
        you can solve domestic issues without an audience.
    
    o   An answering machine is essential for the phone calls that come
        at the wrong times.
    
    o   VAXMAIL, ALLIN1 and the PHONE utitlies are good options for
        communicating while you are logged on.
    
    Rochelle
    
    

I took 3 weeks of vacation time after my 6 weeks was up and have been back full
time since then (my daughter is 6 months old now).  Before I left, I worked it 
out with my manager that I would work from home on Fridays.  I also had DEC 
install a seperate phone line for the modem, so I can be on the phone and the 
system at the same time.

I guess it would really depend on what you do for work, but my mind set about it
is this:  I have from Thursday night to Sunday night to get 8 hours of work in.

Many times I just set a goal of what I want or need to get done that day.  If
I can get that one thing done (or set of things done) and the rest of the day is
unproductive then it's okay!  I reached my goal.  

For me it has gotten easier as Megan has learned to amuse herself.  As long as 
she can see me, she sits and plays happily for long periods of time.  Of course
she isn't crawling or walking yet, but she's getting real close, so this may all
change.  

I think it helps that at least somebody hears from me either by mail or by phone
at least once on Friday.  Then they remember that I'm there and I'm not hanging
out at the beach. 

I prepared a formal maternity agreement that personnel approved, and my manager
signed off on before I left on leave.  It spells out all the terms about my 
working at home. Such as:  If they need me in the office on a Friday, then I 
will work from home on antoher day that is mutually convenient for both DEC and
me.  There are other things like reviewing this arrangement and what we do if 
either one of us wants to change to agreement.

The only downfall is that they tend to expect that you are avaiable when you
are home and not working.   Like when you are sick.  Also  If you call folks
and leave your number they then will call you anytime they want.  

On my voice-mail I leave it as "I am working from another site today.  You can 
send me mail, you can leave a message, as I will check throughout the day, or
you may call me at outside number blah,blah,blah.  

If you want more details let me know...

W-

    After our second was born, I worked at home three days a week and
    my husband worked at home for two so Steven didn't have to go
    straight into daycare.  We started him for only a few hours on one
    day, and then gradually increased the time as we felt more
    comfortable with it (though I must say all the evidence was that
    it was harder on us than on him!).  I worked at home for one day
    a week for several months -- don't remember now exactly how long
    that lasted.  
    
    As I mentioned in another note, I had very bad postpartum
    depression, and having my full-time, interesting, involving job
    was one of the things that helped keep me sane, literally. 
    
    The three days at home, two days at work pattern worked very well
    for me.  I was able to schedule all my meetings for the two days I
    was in, and get a lot done on the days I wasn't.  I think I got
    more done in the hours when the baby was napping, knowing I wasn't
    going to have all that much time, than I usually do in a full day
    at work.  You tend to be more efficient.
    
    One pitfall I repeatedly fell into was doing housework, cleaning,
    cooking, etc. on my work time.  Putting on supper a bit early and
    then reading some more mail is one thing; starting supper at 4 and
    making sure it's fancy is another.  
    
    Another problem was that friends who weren't with DEC refused to
    believe I was working and did not take kindly to my refusals to
    socialize with them and their babies.  I never did find a good
    answer to that one, except to repeatedly explain it.
    
    --bonnie

    I find that I CANNOT work while my son is awake.  So, I rely
    on my husband to take care of the baby for certain chunks
    of the week.  He takes care of the baby from when the baby
    wakes up till 8:00 am.  If you wake up at 5:00 or 6:00 that
    is a nice uninterruped chunk.  Then, there is nappy times.
    Also, my husband takes the baby out for walks and lawn 
    mowing in the carrier on the weekend.  
    
    I don't think it would be easy for anyone to do an 8 hour
    day with a baby, unless you don't mind staying up late!
    
    Good luck
    renee