Conference moira::parenting_v3

    Jackie,
    
    If she's ever been swimming in a New England pond or lake, have
    them check for that parasite that lives in the water here.  I
    forget its name.  It's pretty common and not very serious.
    
    Investigate lactose intolerance, especially if her bowels are
    often loose.
    
    Also, even though she's a happy kid with a happy home life and
    lots of friends, she could be having anxiety aches.  Kat used to
    get anxiety headaches whenever she thought about certain classes
    where the teacher couldn't control the class and unpleasant things
    were happening -- this was the end of first grade.  It actually
    got worse in the summer because she worried about whether it was
    going to happen again next year.  
    
    You say she never eats much -- is it possible she doesn't
    recognize hunger pangs and interprets them as a stomachache?  Did
    you ever try giving her a nutritous snack -- a vegetable stick or
    a low-fat whole-grain cracker or soemthing like that -- when she
    mentions it?
    
    --bonnie

    I watched a t.v. show yesterday "People Are TAlking"/Boston, MA and he
    had a woman doctor on talking about children and food allergies...this
    was on Channel 4/WBZ - TV....a book you can inquire about is 
    "Is This Your Child"...didn't get the authors name but did get an
    800#...800-743-9218
    
    Also a clinic/hospital that deals strictly with children and food
    allergies/and or other allergies (perfume...others they mentioned)...
    the closest to Massachusetts was one in East Greenwich, Rhode Island...
    the name of the clinic/hospital was A.S.S.C., I'm sure if you call
    WBZ-TV they could give you more details, they put it on the screen and 
    take it off so fast I didn't get a chance to write down their street
    address...
    
    It was a very interesting show.....hope this helps..
    
    

    I have a 5 1/2 year old that says the same thing just about every night
    and every morning.  I called my pedi office and spoke with a nurse. 
    Just saying she has a tummy ache is too general.  They told me to ask
    her particularly where it hurt and what it felt like.  I'm pretty sure
    that in the am it is hunger because she told me it goes away after she
    eats.  I'm still working on the pm one.  It may be simply, that she
    just doesn't want to go to sleep (separate issue).  She doen't seem to
    get them on Friday or Saturday nights when there is no "bed time".
    
    Carole
    

    My son also used to complain about general stomach aches around that
    age.  Our peditrician could find nothing physical and she said that
    kids react to stress this way sometimes.  She called some kids "head
    kids" and some kids "gut kids".  He seems to have grown out of it at
    9.

    
    My son sometimes will complain of a stomach ache but, this is because
    he isn't a big eater.  Once he has something else to eat he is fine.
    
    						Carol
    

    It might also be gas.  I remember dragging a crying child to the
    emergency room for what turned out to be gas.  

    funny .6 mentioned gas.  AJ has done this about twice, the first time
    he was sitting on the potty in the morning and started crying and
    saying his tummy hurt.  Now I just paniced, simply because he's had so
    much bowel surgeries, and called the surgeon who fortunately is
    reachable at that hour, he does his hospital rounds faithfully at 6:30
    every morning.  While on the phone with him I heard and extremely loud
    "noise" in the bathroom, obviously gas, and he said the pain went away. 
    The second time this happened I wasnt' quite so quick to find the
    doctor, but to wait for *that loud noise*, and again it went away
    quickly.
    
    Kids....ya got to love 'em!!
    Lyn

    Now I don't feel so bad!
    
    My youngest woke up from a nap in extreme pain - I first thought
    appendix!  We got to the emergency room and after several "noises", he
    stopped crying and relaxed.  I tried to tell the nurse we no longer
    needed to see the doctor - but protocol....
    
    The doctor explained that much of the stomach discom"farts" in kids
    under 12 is related to gas in the intestine.  He suggested monitoring
    his cheese intake and a few other things I can't remember right now. 
    My kid is a macaroni and cheese, cheese sticks, cheese pizza etc, kind
    of kid.
    
    -sandy
    

I've been thinking of starting this topic myself - thanks for the head
start!

Sally (almost 6) complains that her tummy hurts at bedtime, often.  She
also throws in her head and ear for good measure.  I used to take any ear
pain very seriously, but this has been going on for months and it never
gets worse.

During other times of her life, I would have taken all this seriously, but
my gut feeling is that this is nothing at all.  It seems to be totally
tied to boredom: if she isn't tired enough to sleep she'll say that the
whole set hurts, but if it's a night when it's ok to stay up a little 
longer and I let her read in bed, it isn't mentioned again.  When she 
complains in the evening and is watching T.V., it's only during 
commercials!

We're going to the doctor today and it's at the top of my list.  

What I'd like to know from the Parenting community is: have you seen this
to be a developmental phase?  A friend describes a typical 6-year-old as
coming home and collapsing in an overdramatic pile inside the door, 
complaining about every little ache and twinge.  Ever see this at your
house?

    Alex has what I've finally decided to call phantom ailments, and yes
    they usually do appear when she's tired and/or bored.  For the tummy-
    aches (as mentioned, part of the 6 1/2-year-old melodramatic
    collapse!), I generally prescribe resting quietly on her bed, plus
    chicken noodle soup (which she loves) for dinner.  I also ask her what
    it feels like; if she says it feels like someone punched her, then I
    figure it's for real and she may start throwing up.  But she usually
    says it "stings"--by which she means low-grade ache, as far as I can
    tell.  (All the phantom ailments "sting"!)
    
    Her legs are another big-time phantom location.  It can be knee(s),
    muscles, bones... she "can't" bend her knee beyond a certain point, but
    upon demonstrating this diminished capacity to the pedi, she clambered
    up on a chair with the supposedly afflicted knee being flexed fully as
    the lead leg!
    
    I'm sure she feels *something*, but I think whatever little twinges she
    has are amplified by her boredom/tiredness/flair for the dramatic. 
    It's amazing how quickly the "stinging" subsides when she has to
    recuperate quietly in her room!
    
    Leslie

    I haven't seen it yet, but I do remember doing it.  My mother took me
    to the doctor's to see what was wrong (once I finally convinced her I
    was seriously ill).  Well, let me tell you, that dumb doctor didn't
    know anything cuz he told my mom that I was fine.  On Saturday nights I
    would get sick to my stomach and wouldn't be able to sleep or anything. 
    Once Sunday I had such awful pain, my father gave me Fetcher's Castoria
    - that sure cured what ailed me!  I spent the rest of the morning in
    the bathroom.  As I grew older I realized that this whole this was
    psyco-sematic.  A particular relative came over frequently on Saturday
    nights and I didn't like it.  The pain in my stomach was real, but the
    reasons were made up.  I can't think of any other way to explain it.  I
    never had any real trouble with my stomach and all at once it seemed
    the pains went away (course the relative did too, at some point).
    
    -sandy
    

    Please do remember that even if the kids are exaggerating, they
    are still perceiving pain . . . I have painful childhood memories
    of having my (probably psychosomatic) pain dismissed as "what a
    good actress you are.  We'll have to call you Sarah Bernhart."
    
    But it still hurt, and badly, too.
    
    If you suspect it's "just" stress or "all in her head" or
    whatever, try to ferret out the reason behind it, or teach the kid
    stress reduction techniques, or something.  Don't just dismiss it.  
    
    --bonnie

    We went to the doctor on Thursday for a check-up and I talked to him
    about the bedtime bellyaches.  He found nothing wrong and confirmed
    that she is probably combining mild discomfort and tensing up when
    things don't go her way (bedtime and she wants to stay up) and
    "manipulative behavior".  This matches what I feel, since it can be so
    easily distracted away.
    
    This weekend I nursed Sal through some real discomfort (reactions to
    the booster shot) and some real pain (wasp sting), and the contrast was
    another confirmation for me.
    
    Relaxation techniques sound great.  Bonnie - how do you teach a kid to
    relax?

    I have had this with three of my kids and had three diffrent problems.
    The first was my daughter who started developing severe bellyaches. She
    went several times to the doctor and nothing was found. Finally after
    several years with this reoccuring periodacally they found she had an
    almost kink in her intestine and it was getting jammed up every so
    often. It took an operation to fix. 
    My son started developing severe cramps accompined by throwing up and
    direrra. Sometime the cramps were mild with nno other symptoms. After 
    about 3 months of this I noticed he would get these after eating certin
    foods so i took him to an allergest and sure enough he had a rash of 
    food allergys. Once he eliminated thoes foods the problems went away.
    My younger son started this cramping when he was 10 about a year ago
    His problem was that he would get hungry and didn't recognize the
    hunger pains. At first i suspected food allergys but could find no
    assosiation. Now he just grabs a bite to eat when he gets disconfort
    and the pain goes away. I also make sure he eats more regularly and
    that he dosent rush his meals.