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Conference moira::parenting_v3

Title:Parenting
Notice:READ 1.27 BEFORE WRITING
Moderator:CSC32::DUBOIS
Created:Wed May 30 1990
Last Modified:Tue May 27 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1364
Total number of notes:23848

1047.0. "Baby Descending" by SUPER::WTHOMAS () Tue Jul 23 1991 11:22

    	This weekend, I noticed that I had to pee more frequently, then I
    noticed that I was getting milli-second shooting pains in my groin,
    then I noticed that from where I stand, something just plain 'ol looks
    different.

    	It took three different people at work to tell me that the baby was
    visibly dropping.

    	Great news (I thought)! I got out the pregnancy books and they tell
    me that for a first time mother the baby can drop anywhere from ten
    days to four weeks before the birth. (I'm actually due in six weeks).

    	My question is this:

    	How soon before you (or your wife) gave birth did you (she) start
    dropping?

    	I realize that this is just an informal poll and proves nothing but
    gee wouldn't it be nice in this horrid heat to think that I don't have
    *that* much longer? ;-)

    				Wendy
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1047.1SCAACT::DICKEYKathyTue Jul 23 1991 12:126
    My baby was breech until 24 hours before I had him.  I saw him turn,
    his head would really pop up and move, then go down, rest then pop up 
    and move.  By the evening I could feel that he was ready. (I just felt
    different.)  The 12:03 the next day he was born.
    
    Kathy
1047.2It took weeks for me!JUPITR::MAHONEYTue Jul 23 1991 13:149
    Well, my baby dropped in the last 4 weeks. But I delivered 1 week
    overdue. But they say that the baby can lie in that position for weeks
    before you go into labor. I was dilated and effaced for a solid 3 weeks
    before she finally came!!
    
    
    Good luck,
    
    Sandy
1047.3you're getting thereTLE::RANDALLTue Jul 23 1991 13:2716
    You get conflicting evidence from me.
    
    Kat dropped two weeks ahead of time -- the doctor told me that was
    about average.  She arrived on what the doctor predicted, ten days
    early from when I know she was conceived. 
    
    Steven dropped and kept right on dropping right out.  Maybe 20
    hours total, max.  Two weeks early.  
    
    David dropped a bit more than two weeks before his due date, which
    had been revised to be a week earlier based on the ultrasound.  I
    think he would have been another several days if left to his own
    devices, but my waters broke and they induced labor, so he was
    right on time.
    
    --bonnie
1047.4I never dropped.CHCLAT::HAGENPlease send truffles!Tue Jul 23 1991 15:016
With #1, I don't remember "dropping".

With #2, although I was 3cm dialated for at least 3 weeks before (and 50% 
effaced), I NEVER dropped.  Even while I was in labor.  (The dr. had a 
heck of a time seeing him.) I ended up first having my water broken, and
then finally being induced to speed things along.
1047.5FDCV07::HSCOTTLynn Hanley-ScottTue Jul 23 1991 16:007
    I carried Ryan low the whole pregnancy, so I was never really conscious
    of dropping. This pregnancy, too, I feel like I'm carrying between
    my knees, though my bladder has gotten smaller and smaller in the last
    couple weeks (I'm due next week). 
    
    best of luck,
    
1047.6When, if ever?CAPITN::HIPP_KRBLONDE AMBITIONTue Jul 23 1991 18:428
    I agree with 1047.4 - I never dropped, I was 2 weeks overdue when they
    decided to induce me, 2 days later break my water, 3 days later do a
    C-section and believe it or not my daughter never dropped.  And two
    years later she's still just as stubborn :^)
    
    Good luck!!
    kristy
    
1047.7I know this isn't what you want to hearREFDV1::SENAAnd baby makes fourWed Jul 24 1991 09:425
    Nicole dropped 6 weeks before she was born, and she was born 2 weeks
    overdue.  So, Wendy, don't count on going early !
    
    _Joy
    
1047.8SUPER::WTHOMASThu Jul 25 1991 10:2326
    
    	I went to the midwife yesterday and although the baby is lower, it
    is because he is getting heavier ("get used to the discomfort" she
    said) and not because he is engaging.
    
    	She also corrected me that I had 8 weeks to go and not 6.
    
    	I went to the store and picked up some bread and drove home. When I
    got home I walked the dog.
    
    	Then for the first time during this entire pregnancy I lost it.
    
	Maybe it's because I'm not getting enough sleep at night.
    	
    	Maybe it's because of the in-law horrors.
    
    	Maybe it's because work and classes have been very tough lately.
    
    	Maybe it's because I don't fit into anything anymore.
    
    	Maybe it's because this is becoming just too much work.
    
    	But God I want this over with.
    
    				Wendy
                                     
1047.9I've Lost it too!EMDS::CUNNINGHAMThu Jul 25 1991 11:5838
    
    	Wendy...its okay to "lose it" every once in awhile...(at least
    thats what people keep telling me). In fact, I "lost it" pretty bad 
    Tuesday..  remember how humid it was?  Well, I *had* to go shopping
    for clothes because I am outgrowing the ones I bought in the beginning
    of my pregnancy. So i forced myself into the stores after work, tried
    on item after item and couldnt find anything I liked, along with
    enduring the hassle of trying everything on (on and off, on and off),
    having to look at the 3 mirrors facing me as I changed, and the a/c not
    working very well in the stores, I was a bit flustered by the time I
    started my 40 minutes drive home (in a car with no a/c).  I made it
    home (after pouting all the way) and my husband wasn't home yet, so
    that meant the a/c was not on in the bedroom.  I dragged myself into
    a cold shower and tried to rest a minute afterwards. Steve came home 
    a few minutes later and saw I looked down. He asked what was wrong, and
    thats when I "lost it". I haven't cried that hard in a LONG time. 
    Saying "Nothing fits me...I'm huge, I'm just going to get bigger every
    day and I still have 12 weeks left...I'm the ugliest,fattest pregnant
    woman in the whole world, how can you love me" etc etc etc...  I jsut
    couldn't stop crying...     But he was wonderful and tried to say and
    do the right thing..
    
    I finally calmed down after 20 mins or so...and a little later, a
    friend of mine who has a 3 week old, stopped over for a second, and we
    were talking about my "breakdown"..  She convinced me that its okay,
    and somewhat "normal" to have a few bouts like this...and by the end of
    her visit we were all laughing about it . (but it sure wasn't funny at
    the time).
    
    I'm not looking forward to my next one...and I thank the heavens that my
    husband is as understanding and as wonderful as he is...but at least
    I'm trying to keep an open mind that "its okay" to "lose it" every once
    in awhile.
    
    Hang in there....  Youre not alone!  
    
    Chris
      
1047.10oh, yeah, it can get badTLE::RANDALLThu Jul 25 1991 12:2425
    I lost it (with #2) when I didn't fit behind the steering wheel
    any more and couldn't drive.  I mean, I literally couldn't push
    the clutch pedal all the way in when the seat was far enough to
    let baby and me fit behind the wheel.  The loss of mobility was
    devastating -- visions of begging neighbors for rides, getting
    stuck somewhere in labor and not being able to find Neil, etc.
    etc. etc.  And I still had over a month to go.  
    
    It passed, and the rest of the pregnancy got easier.
    
    About 7 months was the worst with #3.  That's the point at which I
    went from just large to HUGE.  Obnoxiously, offensively,
    disgustingly HUGE.  Not to mention so tired I could barely drag
    myself from work to the couch, where I sat in a fog  while Neil
    cooked supper.  The worst part was how helpful Steven was, always
    coming in to give me a hug and asking me if I needed anything.  It
    was sweet, but it also made me feel like, "Great, here I am, such
    a whale that even a 5-year-old is more useful than I am."
    
    Pregnancy is a lot of work.  And no matter how worthwhile the
    result is, I didn't find getting there was very much fun.  I know
    a lot of people loved being pregnant, etc. and I'm glad for them,
    but all in all it's something more to be endured than treasured. 
    
    --bonnie
1047.11SCAACT::DICKEYKathyFri Jul 26 1991 11:4718
    Like the others have mentioned, it is DEFINITELY okay to "lose it" now
    and then.  I was 8 months pregnant this time last year, and I can still
    remember how I felt.  My clothes were tight, I had horrible indigestion
    24 hours a day, I couldn't sleep, I had heat rash which stung, I could
    barely move I was so big, the baby felt so heavy all the time.  All I
    wanted to do was lay on the bed with the A/C on real low and not move. 
    I remember feeling like I didn't want to do it anymore and I had a good
    cry now and than.  Going to the grocery store was such a hassle and
    took so much energy out of me much less coming into work. 
    
    I remember asking my mom (who has 3 kids) how she got through it.  She
    told me it was something you deal with one day at a time.  I felt that
    I had been pregnant forever and it would never end, but it did.
    
    After all that, I can't believe I am even thinking that I want another
    one someday, but I do. 
    
    Kathy
1047.12CSOA1::ZACKMon Jul 29 1991 15:1121
    Losing it during pregnancy is quite understandable.  
    
    I remember when I was 7 mos along with my daughter and really "lost it".  
    Like the others noters said, your "huge", you can't move, you feel so 
    helpless, not to mention the anxiety of upcoming birth.  I remember 
    panicing and sobbing to my husband. The poor man didn't know what to do.  
    Here was his wife sobbing that she had made the biggest mistake of her 
    life, I kept saying things like I didn't want a baby no more.  I have 
    changed my mind.  Please make the baby go away.  His response::  "Honey I 
    love you, but it's too late to think about not having children." After
    30 minutes of crying I was fine.  It's kinda funny now.  I'll never as
    long as I live forget the look on his face.  
    
    Now when I get down and feel "ugly" I sit down a put my hands on my
    belly and have conversations with my baby.  Feeling the baby move
    really helps me. Remember the worst and best are yet to come. 
    
    Hang in there.
    
    Angie
    
1047.13silly reasons to get it overwithJAWS::TRIPPWed Aug 07 1991 16:4013
    Maybe we should change this into a note of "Reasons I want to get this
    over with...
    
    I wanted it over with for one very silly reason, I wanted to be able to
    wear a blouse tucked in again!
    
    I also wanted to be able to move around easily, without having to think
    about it for 10 minutes before hand, and then another 10 minutes to
    move 10 feet, and without waddling at that.  
    
    Those things alone used to send me over the edge!!
    
    Lyn