| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 968.1 | | WMOIS::REINKE_B | bread and roses | Fri Jun 14 1991 23:08 | 22 |
| Nancy
first off, ask them how they can take over the things that Dad usually
does.
if they feel they are involved and helping out, it will be easier
on all of you..
i recall that when I was 13 my mom was in the hospital for a month..
I ended up doing the cooking, and deep fat fried so much stuff
that I haven't wanted to do it ever again.... ( I loved fried food)
let your kids take on some responsibilities, they are old enough...
at that age, mine were milking goats, taking care of ponys, feeding
chickens and hauling wood.
they can do a lot.
lots of hugs
Bonnie
|
| 968.2 | Hang in there. . . | TNPUBS::STEINHART | Pixillated | Mon Jun 17 1991 10:24 | 10 |
| Hi Nancy,
I don't have any answers, but I do offer you my empathy and a shoulder
to cry on. This must be awfully difficult for you, and maybe
frightening, too. We all have a little kid inside of us, and I bet
YOUR little kid needs some nurturing now, too. Hang in there. Give
yourself a pat on the back. How about dinner for you with one of your
friends?
Laura
|
| 968.3 | oh, and HUGS. :-) | CSC32::DUBOIS | Sister of Sappho | Mon Jun 17 1991 15:14 | 16 |
| With all of the extra giving you are having to do, you will need to take
some time to take care of *yourself*! Get a babysitter, go out and treat
yourself. Get a babysitter to take the kids to her/his home, and stay
home and treat yourself! Do whatever would be best for you. Ultimately,
by doing this, you will have more energy for yourself and the kids and
your husband.
Second piece of free advice: this is the time to use/develop a support
network of friends. Starting this note is part of that process. You have
friends and acquaintances who will support you if you just tell them what
you need.
Hang in there, kiddo, and take care of *yourself*, too. These trying times
will pass, and things *will* improve.
Carol
|
| 968.4 | support groups/social workers | ASABET::TRUMPOLT | Liz Trumpolt - ML05-4 - 223-7153 | Mon Jun 17 1991 15:42 | 19 |
| I basicly had a similar problem when I was in school. My mom got
really sick with Diabeties and had to be hozpitalized for a few months
so I ended up taking care of all the cooking, dad did the shopping, I
did all the house work and laundry while my 2 brothers helped out by
keeping their rooms cleaned and picking up after themselves after
eating or coming home from school. You might want to try this and let
the kids take care of some of the things that daddy does while he is
home like the last couple of replys mentioned and also they have
support groups/social workers at the hospitals that you and your kids
can talk to. They always talk to my dad and us kids when my mom has to
spend some time in the hospital since she has developed many other
illnesses over the past 14 years.
But talking to a social worker or joining the support group would help.
Take care and I hope thing work out for the better.
Liz
|
| 968.5 | EAP, Support Groups, and Empathy | CAPITN::TOWERS_MI | | Mon Jun 17 1991 17:45 | 33 |
| Hi Nancy. I can empathize with you. My husband has had a chronic
bronchitis this year and though not in the hospital, he has been on
disability since the beginning of Feb. It has caused a disruption in
our routine and our son (9 months) seems to be picking up his germs or
vice versa as he has had ear infections and now bronchitis since
January.
I had a hard time adjusting as at times my husband seemed ok but his
resistance is so low he gets anything now. I am tired of both being
sick. I finally decided to get involved in a bit of family counseling
and this had helped alot. I am understanding where my husband is
coming from and how to allow others to help. (We also have two parents
who are having problems and the counseling has really helped putting
that in perspective and prioritizing what we need to do).
Digital has a good EAP network and you might go there to let off steam
or get some ideas. Also I think the previous replies that talk about
the kids getting involved seem good as they may feel like they are
involved in helping Dad and the time will go quicker if they are busy.
So hang in there. It is frustrating especially when you depend on
doctors to find answers and nothing works. Plus in your case with Dad
being primary caregiver the kids routines are messed up.
But this can work out to be a good lesson in teamwork and family
bonding and get everyone closer. And DO treat yourself to relaxation.
If you cannot get a family member try a local referral service for a
sitter or call a college or church to see if they have referrals or a
support group at the hospital with other families in your situation.
You might be able to share feelings and trade off sitting or errands.
Good Luck.
Michelle
|
| 968.6 | and more... | USDEV1::TRYON | | Wed Jun 19 1991 01:30 | 15 |
| Thank you all for these wonderful replies. Just reading them has helped
make me feel better!
Things have deteriorated a bit in our situation...Since hitting the
hospital last Friday, hubby has developed a complication which now
requires surgery...tomorrow morning. I am having a hard time with this
as David has always been the one to support me through the rough times
and now I find the situations have reversed.
I know all this will pass sooner or later...it just seems that every
time I ask "what else can happen to me God?", He answers me!
Sorry to be so down,
Nancy
|
| 968.7 | Good luck and quick recovery | TNPUBS::STEINHART | Pixillated | Wed Jun 19 1991 10:46 | 5 |
| Sorry to hear that your husband has taken a turn for the worse, Nancy.
I'm sure you are doing the best you can. Just know that you are
supported by your fellow Noters.
Laura
|
| 968.8 | | CSC32::DUBOIS | Sister of Sappho | Wed Jun 26 1991 12:58 | 3 |
| How are you all doing, Nancy?
Carol
|