Conference moira::parenting_v3

    David was a surprise pregnancy.  I was out in CA attending a
    standards committee meeting and then tooling around with friends
    (hi Jodi) when I was about three weeks along.  On my first morning
    in San Diego I discovered I'm allergic to eucalyptus trees, and
    came down with the worst sinus attack I've ever had.  But I wasn't
    going to let that slow me down, so I took Sudafed and aspirin,
    double doses sometimes, and on nights when I wasn't drinking I
    took Chlor-Trimeton too.  I'm not sure I had a sober night that
    entire week.  
    
    I was pretty worried about it but my doctor said that unless I
    kept up the drinking (which I didn't; it was just a party week) or
    really binged out, it wasn't likely to have caused any damage.  I
    worried about it all the way through but David was born exactly on
    time, perfectly normal and bright and cheerful.
    
    --bonnie

    
    Kristen,
    
    Try not to worry. I found out I was 8 weks pregnant a week after New
    Years 1990, I also drank on New Years Eve. But as soon as I found out,
    I stopped drinking, and cut way down on my smoking. 
    My doctor told me that if I didn't know that I was pregnant, that 1 night 
    wouldn't harm the growing fetus. 
    If you continually drink and smoke purposely, then you might be
    able to expect complications. It turn's out that I delivered a healthy
    8lb. girl nine months later. And I even snuck a cigarette and a glass
    of wine once in a while, but because it was right for me it doesn't
    mean it is right for anyone else to do this. 
    
    
    We all feel differently about this subject. Some people are totally 
    against doing anything like that during pregnancy. As for me, I found
    it very difficult not to smoke once in awhile. To make a long story 
    short, once you know your pregnant you should quit drinking and smoking
    just in case. But talk to your doctor about what you feel. It may ease
    your mind.
    
    
    Congratulations and good luck!
    
    Sandy

    I DON'T USUALLY DRINK *AT ALL*, BUT THE WEEKEND I CONCEIVED AND DRANK AND
    SMOKED.
    
    I EVEN WENT TO A TANNING SALON THE FIRST 7 WEEKS.....MY SON IS 2 YEARS
    OLD...NO PROBLEMS!  
                

    
    Kristen,
    
    I had two "wet" evenings before I learned that I was pregnant. 
    The good news is that my pregnancy and my son suffered no complications 
    due to drinking alcohol during the first month.  You can't change
    what's already happened, but you can change your habits (drinking,
    eating, smoking, whatever) now!  
    
    I did quit drinking alcohol almost completely as soon as I learned that
    I was pregnant.   I had one glass of champagne on my birthday (at 6
    months) and a couple of glasses of wine during the last week of
    my pregnancy on *doctor's orders*.
    
    You might mention the drinking to your ob/gyn in case there's any
    extra tests they can run, but I kind of doubt it.   Try not to 
    worry about this too much.   I'm sure there's lots of people who
    have done similarly (like me!) and all has ended up well.
    
    Best of luck,
    Carol
         

    I too would like to echo the feeling of please don't worry! Stress can
    harm both you and the baby more than a week with a few drinks!  When I
    was about 3 months pregnant with AJ we planned a relaxing week in the
    Hudson Valley of New York, now that area could be classed as the Sonoma
    valley of the east!  Winery after winery, all giving tours and samples. 
    So I very dutifully asked my doctor if I should a) travel that far,
    5hours by car, and b) what about wine samples.  He told me not to
    worry, enjoy the vacation and in fact thought "a little bit of wine"
    might do me some good.  So I went, toured perhaps 3 wineries, had
    dinner including a nice bottle of wine, and a desert with Grand
    Manier(SP?) in it, and had a beautiful son the following January!
    
    It seems to me I had heard an occational glass of wine would be
    beneficial to a pregnant mom.  The problem comes with constant alcohol
    consumption, that's when FAD (fetal alcohol syndrome) comes into play. 
    But you seem to be contientous enought to know what's best for you and
    the baby.
    
    Lyn

    Kristen,
    
    If you drank enough to damage the fetus at a couple weeks gestation,
    you probably never would have found out you were pregnant.  Any damage
    to the fetus that early would likely be so dramatic that there would be
    a very early miscarriage

    At least, that is what my Dr told me at my first visit when I told him
    how I had *abused* alchohol one weekend before finding out I was pregnant.
    His re-assurance helped assuage some of my concern.  Of course I still
    worried a little bit for the remainder of my pregnancy until I delivered
    a very normal healthy baby girl.

    Try to concentrate on being good to yourself and your baby for the rest
    of the pregnancy rather than beating up on yourself for a past mistake.
    congratulations and good luck

    -Carol

    
    THANKS FOR ALL THE REASSURANCE!
    
    I do feel better....I have no intention of drinking (never
    smoked) or taking any medication *knowingly* unless my
    doctor tells me to...I was just concerned about the time
    before I knew....
    
    I guess, like all new moms (like that word !) you get
    a little nervous....I appreciate hearing other people's
    experiences and *HAPPY* results...thanks, Kristen
    
    

    After conception, it takes several days (I believe) for the fertilized
    egg to make its way down the fallopian tube and emplant itself in the
    wall of the uterus. 
    
    Until the egg is attached to the uterus, there is no transfer occuring
    between the mother and egg.  The mother's bloodstream does not yet
    "feed" the egg.
    
    Thus, alcohol, meds, etc., that the mother may have taken can have only 
    limited if any affect on the developing baby.
    
    Gene  (who's wife worried about meds she had taken until her OBY/GN
          pointed the above out to us)         
    
    

    >David was a surprise pregnancy.  I was out in CA attending a
    >standards committee meeting and then tooling around with friends
    >(hi Jodi) when I was about three weeks along.
     
    Whew...I'll have to tell John.  All this time he thought you *got* 
    pregnant while you were here. He's been waiting for a lawyer to serve 
    him papers ever since. After all we *did* do some serious drinking
    at Tortilla Flats in Laguna Beach. :^)  
    (it's a private joke, friends)
    
    Kristen,
    
       	Think about it...for generations, babies have been conceived
    on mom and dad's Honeymoon night and turned out just fine.  I doubt
    many newlywed couples can get through their wedding day (and night)
    without some bubbley. And let's not forget New Year's Eve.  My son,
    now 3 1/2 (and extremely healthy) was conceived on New Year's eve.
    I was too ripped to remember to take precautions and then to make
    matters even more worrisome, I had to be on a drug called Terbutaline
    (regularily used for asthma) for preterm labor.  I took this medication
    every three hours for three solid months to keep my contractions in
    check.  
    
    My preterm labor, by the way, was not in any way related to alcohol 
    abuse.  In fact in the olden days, intravenous alcohol drips were 
    used to stave off preterm labor. 
    
    I was out of town on business when I realized I was in labor. It was 
    very late at night and I just happened to be reading a book on problem 
    pregnancies.  I quickly turned to the chapter on preterm labor. When I 
    read about alcohol drips once being used to slow things down, I grabbed 
    hotel issue of brandy the and drank about 1/3 of it. Next thing
    I knew, it was morning and I felt fine.  It was two days later that 
    my OB told me I was really in labor (80-90% effaced) and that I
    needed to go to the hospital. 
    
    During the more stressful days, the following three months, my OB 
    suggested a glass of wine to calm me down. 
    
    So moral of the story...as others have said, taken in moderation,
    alcohol is probably not going to do any harm.  
    
    I think many doctors will tell pregnant mothers not to take "X" because 
    *if* something does go wrong, they don't want the mothers to blame 
    themselves for taking "X" that 'one' time.
    
    Try to relax and enjoy your pregnacy.
    Jodi-
      

    
    re: .9
    
    It probably wasn't obvious from my earlier reply, but my doctor
    also advised me to drink alcohol to calm "false" labor pains (it
    was 4 days between my water breaking and my son's delivery.....
    ANYBODY would have needed a drink!)
    
    cj/

    	The other thing to remember is that not only does it take awhile
    for the egg to actually implant in the uterine wall and to establish a
    blood supply with the mother, but you may have not ovulated on the 14th
    day.

    	We were taking my temperature when we were trying to get pregnant
    and I discovered that I ovulate on the 18th day (my sister ovulates on
    the 12th day). This helped ease my mind when I realized that I had
    taken some pretty strong migraine meds on day 13.

    	I think that a pre-req. for pregnancy is worry. It is a tremendous
    responsibility to think that your baby's health depends on all of your
    actions. Often this is taken to extremes, (if I don't exercise 3 times a
    week, I'm hurting the baby, if I eat a candy bar, I'm hurting the
    baby, etc.,).

    	At some point you just have to sit back and realize that, like a
    previous noter pointed out, babies have been born forever under far
    worse circumstances. My midwife also pointed out to me that babies are
    very resistant and have wonderful coping mechanisms. Short term "abuse"
    (drinking, okayed drugs, illness during pregnancy, etc) is not likely
    to cause damage.

    	On a related note, one of my sister's had told me years ago that
    her Doctor actually recommended an occasional glass of red wine for a
    pregnant woman as it was a good source of iron and thus good for
    anemia. (or so he claimed). Wine gives me a stuffy nose and congestion
    and so pregnant or not it is off of my list.

    	More likely than not, you will lose your taste for alcohol during
    your pregnancy, I've heard that it is a survival mechanism. It would
    have been inconceivable for me to pass a summer without sitting in the
    sun holding a cold brew (boy do I enjoy the taste of beer) however, I
    can barely look at a beer these days without my stomach flopping over.
    I certainly  hope that once the baby is born, I can go back to holding
    (and drinking) that cold brew.

    			Wendy

In the enthusiasm for being reassuring here, I think it's important to
remember that all these comments are qualifications to the basic fact:
alcohol isn't good for a developing fetus.

To be sure, a little alcohol *probably* won't cause a problem, but there is 
a risk associated with any alcohol use during pregnancy (and especially with 
even occasional instances of substantial overindulgence).

It's rather like carseats.  If you forget to fasten your child's car seat
for one trip, the odds are enormous that nothing will happen, but it's still
an avoidable risk.  Similarly, while the odds are enormous that the base
noter has nothing to worry about, drinking during pregnancy is a risk to
be avoided if you do know that you're pregnant.

	-Neil

    Kristen,
    
    I was five weeks pregnant before I found out and I had my regular
    Saturday afternoon margarita {or two} right up until I found out
    the test was positive.  As soon as I knew I was pregnant, I didn't
    drink alcohol at all - I was pregnant over the summer {delivered
    in November} so it was tough, but it's worth it.  Also, I eat 
    chocolate like it's going out of style and I cut back on it but
    definitely not out.
    
    I delivered a healthy baby girl {18 months ago} and she is
    appropriately named...
    
    
    
    
                KRISTEN!
    
    
    All the best to you  and your upcoming baby...
    
    -Patty

    I have the same concerns as the basenoter, and have had sort of
    a fatalistic "well, nothing I can do about it now" attitude for
    most of my pregnancy. 
    
    Neil is right in his concern in .12 and I urge anyone who's
    interested in this subject to read Michael Dorris' "The Broken
    Cord". It's about his son, who has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, and
    Dorris' gradual discovery and investigation of this condition.
    
    Lucy

I had a laparoscopy (surgery) done on the 14th day of my cycle after a blood
test confirmed I was not pregnant.  You guessed it -- found out about three
weeks later that I was pregnant after all!  Talk about worried.  When I found
out I was pregnant I broke out into tears because I was so worried what that
surgery could have done to my baby-to-be.  My doctor told me not to worry;
that the drugs to put me under and the pain killers afterwards were of the type
that have been used on pregnant women before (yes pregnant women sometimes
have to take drugs for certain types of situations) and shouldn't cause any
problems.  Of course I was mildly worried for 9 months but then my daughter
Michelle (now almost 11 months) was born perfect in every way...

Kyra

P.S.  Because I couldn't get pregnant for 18 months prior to that, we didn't
bother abstaining that month because of the surgery!  Life is crazy.

re .15:

I thought it was standard procedure for couples to use birth control prior
to a laparoscopy even if they're infertile.

re: .16
The standard procedure at my doctor's practice is to *not* use birth
control (the whole reason you're there is because you *want* to get
pregnant) but to suspend any medication/procedures to help get you
pregnant (such as clomid, pergonal, etc.) during the cycle you're scheduled
for surgery... and then check you for
pregnancy when you go in for the surgery (and cross your fingers that
by some stroke of luck you are indeed pregnant and don't need the
surgery after all!).  Now this procedure may of course differ from
practice to practice.

The fact that in my case the blood test did not detect that I was
pregnant is an uncommon occurrence (I must have only been less than
a few days pregnant).

Kyra

    
    Try not to worry....I'm sure your doctor can ease your mind.
    
    March '90 I had a laparatomy to remove and ovarian cyst (benign). The
    doctor told me to wait one month after before trying to get pregnant.
    We decided to take a vacation to regroup after the surgery - I drank
    every night (and afternoon), had raw oysters, lots of coffee, etc etc.
    I even had a dental xray the week before!
    
    Well, of course I found out I was pregnant...I must have been pregnant
    before we even left for vacation! We were very happy, since we had
    wanted the preganancy all along, but it was earlier than planned -
    and I was extremely nervous about my lifestyle of the previous weeks.
    
    I checked with my doctor as well as the pregnancy/environmental hotline
    (1-800-322-5014)...they mentioned the "all or nothing" period...I
    believe its the time right before implantation...where the egg will
    either implant and not be affected or will miscarry. The hotline also
    gives you information on specific drugs/environmental factors and
    their effects on your unborn baby.
    
    I had a healthy, strapping, adorable baby boy last January! Much wasted
    worry!
    
    
    Kerrie