Conference moira::parenting_v3

                     <<< Note 892.0 by ZPOVC::JASMINTEO >>>
                        -< Milk feed - difficult task >-
    
>>    My hubby and I are getting worried that we cannot bring her out for
>>    walks, window shopping, visiting, etc if this kind of behaviour keeps
>>    up.  

Oh no, don't let her do this to you.  I let myself be trapped by daughter
#1 because she cried all the time, ALL THE TIME.  Well, babies cry. Period.
You get dirty looks from others?  Tough.  Just smile at them.  

Liz

    
    re:.1 re: .0
    
    Right on!   I *suffered* through my son's infancy because he also
    cried all the time.  Yes, "ALL THE TIME".  I ended up a prisoner in
    my own home.  I will not make this mistake again.   I know it is
    sometimes difficult to take the advise of others, but I think that
    Liz and I speak from real experience here!
    
    Carol

    I can guarantee you that Pris will not still be refusing the
    bottle by the time she marries, unless you're planning one of
    those old-fashioned marriage by proxy arrangements. :)
    
    This is the same baby that doesn't like strangers, right?  Given
    that, I'm not surprised that she wouldn't be comfortable eating
    when she's around other people or in strange surroundings.  
    
    Did you try moving to a quiet place (a different room, say) where
    you or hubby was the only person with her?  Sometimes the quiet
    helps.  
    
    And has she been to a doctor recently?  It occurs to me that
    crabby behavior in a child this age can often be the result of a
    low-grade ear infection.
    
    --bonnie

   <<< Note 892.3 by CSSE32::RANDALL "Bonnie Randall Schutzman, CSSE/DSS" >>>
                             -< she'll outgrow it >-

>>    And has she been to a doctor recently?  It occurs to me that
>>    crabby behavior in a child this age can often be the result of a
>>    low-grade ear infection.

I forget this all the time.  It's the ONLY way that Kathryne has ever
given me a clue that she has an err infection and she' almost 4 now.

Liz

    The replies were most helpful...Thanks!

    Sometimes Rick and I feels like a prisoner at home too - afraid to go
    out; afraid of having friends come over or all hell breaks loose!

    Could noter .1 & .2 tell me if your darlings grew out of the crying
    bout, cries less or are they more demanding.  I read somewhere that
    parents have to be more hard-hearted when baby cries or baby would
    expect to be picked up all the time.

    Could noter .2 tell me what you mean by 'I will not make this mistake
    again'.  I would like to know how you overcome such situation.

    We are trying to expose her to strangers and new places but our
    adrenalin increases anticipating when our little one will start
    howling.  However, we pray and hope that things will be okay when we
    step out of the house.

    Feeding Pris has never been easy; at one stage, she refuses any milk
    for 18 hours but was able to have her feed anywhere when she finally
    wants her feed.  Last weekend, we did give her feed at a quiet room at
    Granny's but all she took was 2 sucks.

    Could everyone give me some details about ear infection?  What are the
    symptoms, causes and how it could affect a baby. 

    I'm quite thankful that Pris isn't so difficult all the time - she can
    be a happy little soul when she's in the mood and how I wish she was
    like this all the time.  I didn't realize Parenthood can be so tough!
                                                     

    re: .5
    
    When I said that I would not make this mistake again, I meant I
    would not allow myself to be trapped in my home.  I believe that the
    problem was kind of self-feeding.   Like you, I grew tense in anti-
    cipation of my son's crying, which he undoubtedly sensed and it made
    him all the worse.   We rarely got out of the house because as a
    first time mother, I wanted to have a "perfect" baby, and that fact
    is that I did not have a "perfect" baby  (I do now :-)! )   After 
    I began talking to others (and reading notes!), I learned that some
    babies do cry ALOT and it wasn't MY FAULT!   
    
    As far as growing out of it, Jason was calmed down and the day-long
    crying bouts stopped around 3-4 months of age.    He continued to
    be a rather demanding baby for about the first year and, at 20
    months, is quite settled and pleasant!   The bright spot in all of
    this is that I do believe that babies that cry alot are rather
    alert and intelligent (how's that for a sweeping generalization?).
    
    Good luck with Pris, it can be very draining...
    
    Carol

    As an addendum to my last, I forgot to mention, that my son
    (and I believe Liz's first daughter) were "colicky".   This
    is probably not your daughter's case since you said her problems
    started up at ~4months of age.....but I think some of the ideas
    of handling this type of behaviour are still applicable.   cj/

    Ear infections are most often caused by a buildup of fluid in the
    ears, which then becomes vulnerable to bacteria.  Fluid can build
    up in a variety of ways:  a byproduct of teething, drinking a
    bottle while lying on the back so the liquid pools around the
    eustachian tubes, which connect the ear to the back of the throat,
    allergies, structural problems which make the eustachian tubes
    plug up, etc. etc. 
    
    Symptoms are usually a fever, crying, and tugging at the ears. 
    Some babies don't run a fever, or only a small one; their only
    symptom is crabbiness, bouts of crying, clinginess, and/or not
    sleeping well at night.
    
    Come to think of it, at five months your baby is quite likely
    teething.  David used to not want to take a bottle because the
    nipple hurt his gums in front where the first tooth was coming
    through.  Also, all the drool can cause tummyaches.  
    
    Is Pris eating any solids yet? Have you recently changed formula? 
    If she's recently changed diet, she could be having stomach pains
    related to the new food.  
    
    --bonnie

    Rick & myself knows that Pris isn't a perfect baby (but we wish!) and
    we do know that there ARE babies out there behaving in this way but the
    most frustrating thing is that all the parents that we talk do tells us
    that their babies are Perfect - they don't cry and never gives any
    problems to their parents. (there are some delightful babies too). I do
    know for a fact that some parents are ashamed to tell their friends &
    relatives that it's tough looking after a baby. Sometimes I feel like
    I'm too outspoken because when people ask me how Pris is doing, I won't
    just say 'Fine'.  How I know these parents are not telling me the truth
    is that I get to hear The truth from other reliable sources.
    
    Pris does pull her ears once in a while but other than that, she
    doesn't have any other symptoms - will get the pedi to check her ears
    to be double sure.
    
    Pris has been drooling since she was 2 1/2 months old (like Niagara
    Falls) but my mum-in-law (Pris' granny) says that it's impossible that
    she is teething.  Could this be causing her to be soooo crabby and
    clingy.  I didn't realize that drooling can cause tummyaches - why is
    that?
                                                               

    Steven cut his first tooth at four months, so it's more than
    possible she's teething.  Look at her gums, and if you see spots
    that look swollen, or large bumps along the gum, or a place where
    the skin looks kind of whitish and stretched tight, there's
    probably a tooth preparing to erupt.  If you run your fingers
    along her gums, and she tries to chew on your finger, or otherwise
    acts like it feels good, then she's definitely teething.  If she
    is, you could try giving her a cool washcloth to chew on.  That
    helps many babies find relief.
    
    I think the drool bothers because saliva is slightly acid to help
    dissolve food, and when you're producing extra saliva, it runs
    into your stomach and gives you acid indigestion.
    
    --bonnie

    This mummy is overjoyed! One fine morning I ran my finger on her gums
    and felt sometime hard and just 3 days ago, a small section of a tooth
    emerged from her gums and since then, she gnaws on anything and
    everything!  She losing appetite as well after her tooth came out - is
    this the norm and how long will it lasts.  She was feeding pretty well
    but lately, she isn't doing so good.  Rub some soothing teething gel on
    her gums to help relief any pain or itch.

    Appetite does tend to drop off around 6 months after the initial
    growth spurt slows down.  It usually picks up again around 9
    months.
    
    --bonnie