Conference moira::parenting_v3

I suspect that there is a rather broad range of "normal" on learning to
talk.   I've heard of kids that didn't say a word until well over two and
then, out of the blue, starting saying sentences one day!   I'd follow
your gut though and wouldn't hesitate to consult a physician or specialist
if you feel there's a problem.

My son started saying words at 14-15 months - after he'd mastered walking -
I think they can only learn one big thing at a time.  Now, at 19+ months,
he says basic sentences ("I want it", "I get it", "I fix it") and many
words....it can shock me sometimes the stuff he picks up!

Carol

    My oldest "communicated" with us but didn't start talking until he was
    a little over two years old.  His brother (21 months younger) started
    actually talking with words at 19-20 months.
    
    I, too, was concerned about my oldest, but my sister-in-law, former
    speech therapist, said not to be concerned - he was making the basic
    sounds they consider early speech and would begin talking at any time.
    
    Now (he'll be 6 in June) we can't shut him up.  He has definately
    overcome the "handicap" of blooming late!!!!
    
    -sandy
    

    Interesting you should enter this note at this time.  I'm concerned
    about my twenty month old son, Josh.  He also doesn't say ANY words
    yet, and I must admit it gets me worried from time to time.  Especially
    when I see other children his aging talking.  He does communicate with
    sounds, mostly grunts :*), and understands me quite well, follows
    directions just fine.  It's just that he doesn't talk back!  No mommy,
    daddy, kitty nothing even that simple.
    
    Just have to wait I suppose.
    

    
    A friend of mine's son didn't start talking at all till well past 2
    yrs. His communication up to that time consisted of "grunt and point".
    The boy had 2 older sisters and 2 doting parents, inotherwords 4 full
    time servants. He really didn't need to talk. When he did start to
    talk, it was as described in a previous reply, in full sentences. This
    may or may not have any bearing on any of your situations, but I
    thought that I would include it here.
    
    Karl
    

    I might add this...when my son was doing his "communicating" without
    words, my s-i-l suggested we ignore his requests and tell him we don't
    understand until he begins to use the words.  I don't know if that was
    the trick or if he was just ready to talk, but when he did come around
    he was talking in complete phrases/sentences.  As if he were waiting
    till he knew what he was doing before he started!
    
    Your mileage will vary...
    -sandy
    

    I think a factor in younger kids' not needing to talk isn't
    necessarily the "built-in servants" attitude or even older
    siblings translating for the younger ones, but simply that as you
    have more kids, you get better at understanding what they want, so
    you don't need as many words to communicate, and because you're
    responding better, the children learn to communicate better
    without words.  The down side is that, having less need for words,
    they maybe don't learn to speak as early as they might have
    otherwise.  But on the whole I think it often happens because of
    positive developments. 
    
    David (18 months, third child) doesn't talk much most of the time;
    he's the kind who prefers to just sit and watch.  But when you do
    something for him, he's started saying "dak yoo."  And he doesn't
    seem as pressured to do things as his older siblings were.  
    
    --bonnie

    Since this seems to be heading towards a topic of "what's normal for
    what age"  let me ask my question..
    
    AJ is 4+3months, he has been fairly good, and according to a speech
    evaluation done just about a year ago, was right at his age level for
    speech and recognition.  Lately he's been kind of "swallowing" the
    first syllable of words, such as tainer= container, zort=desert.  The
    way we've been handling this is to correct his pronounciation until
    it's reasonable close, then ask him to say it again.  If it comes up in
    conversation and he mispronounces the word we reply with "excuse me I
    didn't understand what you said" at which point he remembers the
    correct way of saying the word, asks again and we will then carry on
    the conversation.  He's started saying the words with emphasis on the
    "newly discovered" part of the words.
    
    I'd just like to get opinions on if this seems a correct way of
    handling this, and is this "swallowing" of syllables common at this
    age?
    
    As an aside, he was born with "tongue tie", a correctable condition
    where the membrane under the tongue is too tight preventing free
    movement of the tongue, some severe cases the kids are unable to stick
    the tongue out.  His was corrected surgically at 10 months, so I don't
    think this would have any effect on current speech patterns.
    His dad also had it, and his was corrected at birth.
    
    Has anyone had experience with "tongue tie"?

    At 2 yrs, Josh said single words only, and didn't combine words till he
    was at least 2.5. At 2 yrs., Carrie was speaking in complete,
    incredibly clear *paragraphs*. (When we brought Daniel home form the
    hospital she was 22 mos. Her typical comments..."Oh, look at the baby!
    He's sleeping...sssshhhhhh. don't wake him up!". Daniel said nothing
    but "da" until he was 23 months, and within one week went from adding
    about 25 new words, to speaking in 2-3 word sentences! A remarkable
    increase for such a short time. At 24 mos. now, the dr. at his checkup
    2 days ago said he had very good language development for his age, and
    we just smiled, knowing how recently it got so "good".
    
    I wouldn't worry one little bit! Paricularly since he's understanding
    and communicating in his own fashion. I wouldn't be surprised if one
    day those words just start tumbling out all of a sudden!
    
    --dave--

    FUnny story my Mom tells.  My sister is 1 year younger than me.  When I
    was age 3, I was counting from 1 - 20.  My sister, then 2, hadn't
    spoken a word, NOT ONE WORD, so far.  When I reached the number 12, I
    was stuck, and paused too long.  My sister piped up with "13", then
    continued to remain silent for another 3 - 4 months!
    
    Sarah
    

    I guess I would ask if your toddler is quiet (not speaking) or simply
    using baby language. In our case, Ryan frequently used baby words prior
    to the age of 2 - sometimes singly, or 2 together. SUDDENLY at age 2 he
    started stringing them together and intermingling the more "real"
    version of words rather than just baby words.
    
    I've heard more than a few stories of "silent" children who begin
    talking full paragraphs one day!
    

    When my daughter was 15 months old she was saying things like,"I don't
    want this." and "I want to ride my bike." She just turned 3 and she
    hasn't been quiet for more than 5 minutes excluding when sleeping for
    her whole life.
    
    My son spoke sentances at 24 monthe but he knew his letters, numbers,
    basics shapes and colors at 17 months.
    
    KAte 
    

    Gee, I don't know ..... I'd enjoy the silence while you can - cuz once
    they start, they DON'T STOP!!
    
    (-:
    
    I just entered this in another note ... Christopher started before 2,
    Jason started just before 3.  Perhaps part of why Jason didn't need to
    talk was because I knew what he wanted more, but DEFINITELY part of it
    was because Christopher knew what he wanted.  Example conversation;
    
    Jason: Ugh
    Me: What?
    Jason: Ugh (and point)
    Me: Christopher, what does he want?
    Christopher: Well, Mom! (exasperated look), he said he wants to play
    with the red fire engine that's underneath the bed upstairs!!  
    
    ... but, of course!
    
    Keep in mind, that shortly after talking comes YELLING AT THE TOP OF
    THEIR LUNGS BECAUSE IT'S THE EASIEST WAY TO GET MOM AND DAD'S ATTENTION
    IN A REAL HURRY, AND EVEN THE PEOPLE ACROSS THE STREET WILL LOOK!! (-:
    
    Aren't they fun??

    My daughter will be 13 months this saturday. She babbles a lot too but
    does say a few words that anyone seems to understand: down, car,
    dog, "s'that" (for what's that), sit, light, daddy. Of course these arn't
    crystal clear: car is really "ca", dog is really "dahg" with a almost 
    silent g, and light is really "ite"; except for "s'that" - she's had
    that mastered for over four months, including the finger pointing! 
    
    What I find encouraging is not the number of words but the fact that 
    she differentiates similar sounds; dahg is very distinctive from da 
    (short for da-da or daddy). What I find discouraging is when they 
    continually say a word you can't figure out and a stranger can! :)
    
    She just started walking about 4 weeks ago, too. Although, most of
    her vocabulary HAS been there prior to her walking, she continues to
    work on new words. I BELIEVE in the "one-thing-at-a-time" theory, I've
    seen it in action. However, my daughter seems to do two or three new 
    things at once - she's also currently cutting more teeth. To each his
    own!
    
    Julia

         I think I dir/title="" just about everything I could think of and
    couldn't find this one.  When did you children first say something that
    you could recognize?  My son is just a little bit over 7 months now
    and, while he "talks" a lot, he doesn't say any words that we recognize
    like mama or dada.  I am a little bit concerned but don't know if I
    should be or not.  So, when did your little ones start saying stuff you
    recognized?
    
    
                                ---Sue

    
    My daughter is just about 7 months old and she has been saying dada for
    a little while now.  I don't think that she actually knows she is
    saying dada, but I like when she says it.  I am trying to teach her to 
    say mama but I think that mama will come soon.  I wouldn't worry, my
    neice didn't start actually saying anything until she was 1 year old.
    
    You may not recognize him saying anything but I bet he is.
    
    my .02
    
    

    You are a little premature to start worrying. In fact don't worry at
    all!! You will find when kids are ready to do stuff they will, and not
    a day earlier!!
    
    Your encouragement as they say sounds and your constant repetition of
    words will help.  Eventually they will put it all together and out
    will come a real word!  Then you'll wish they would keep quiet for 5
    minutes. 
    
    Enjoy each stage you are in, don't look ahead too far, and don't look
    at the calendar too often!

    Our son Tobias started talking a little late (not real late, but just
    enough that we were a bit impatient).  At any rate, many months before
    we had any right to expect the utterance of a single intelligent phrase
    he said "I want that" several times, quite clearly, and it was obvious
    that he knew what it meant. It absolutely astounded the few of us who
    heard it, and we thought he'd be an early talker. This happened over
    the course of maybe a month.  And then he just shut up and didn't utter
    a single word more until he finally started talking many months later.

    
    
    
    Albert Einstein didn't talk till he was 4.

    Why do people worry about when their children will start walking and
    talking?  Once the children do start walking and talking their parents
    will be constantly telling them to "Shut up and sit down!"  :-)
    
    Lori B.

re: .19

Interesting -- a real life twist to a joke I heard once.  

It seems that there was a kid who just wouldn't start talking.  Birthday after 
birthday passed, and his parents got more and more concerned.  One night, at 
dinner, he looked down the table, and said, clear as a bell, "Please pass the 
salt."

His parents were shocked. "My goodness, you can talk!" gasped his mother.

"Of course I can talk," said the kid.  "There just wasn't anything worth 
saying until now".

In Tobias' case, he got what he wanted, then was perfectly content for several 
more months.

Clay

    My mother tells the story about my sister and me. I was three, she was
    two, and she had never spoken a word except for mama and dada. One day
    I was counting, and got stuck at "12".  My sister piped up with "13",
    and continued in her silence for about 6 more months.  Like Clay's
    story, she didn't have anything to say!   I would guess your child "IS"
    talking, you just don't understand it yet!  
    Sarah

    I called my daughter "motor mouth" for a very good reason.  During one
    of her hospital stays, a doctor in training came to fill out a
    routine questionaire.  One of the questions was "how long has she been 
    talking?  My answer was I couldn't remember exactly when she started 
    (somewhere around 1) but "it seems like forever!"
    
    Marie

    I have two kids. They are very different in this area.  This
    proves what other noters are saying, each kid has its own
    development path.  Eric starts talking at 6 months old.  
    He started with Dada, then Mama.  By 9 months, he can
    say simple words.  He talks in full sentences when he turned
    1 year old.   Monica didn't say Dada until 8 months old.
    She is 13 months now and can say many words, but are far
    from talking in full sentences.  My pedi told me that both
    my kids are advanced in this area.  He said that an average
    1 year old should say 3-5 words.  
    
    Wendy 

Evan didn't say much until he was at least 1 1/2 to 2 years old.
He was physically very advanced.  This was opposite to his friend Darcy,
who was not as physically adept, but boy could she talk!  Once Evan started
really talking, though, he went along normally, and was just fine.

       Carol

Dirk's first word was "car".  This was when he was about 2� years old.  He
LOVED cars.

Markus was a bit earlier. 

Both children are trilingual so it took them a little while to sort out all 
the input, I guess.

Markus was really funny.  He thought everybody understood all the languages and
just chose the most convenient to speak in.  When he was about 3 my parents
were to visit.  He understood everything they said to him in English but
responded in French.  This went on for a couple of weeks.  Then, he went into
town with them where they bought him an ice cream.  He ate it in silence for
a while and then said in perfect English, "This ice cream is very cold."  Then
he never spoke another word of English while they were here.

Cheryl

<Dirk's first word was "car".  This was when he was about 2� years old.  He
<LOVED cars.

Evan's first word was "cat."  I kept wondering, "Whatever happened to ma-ma?!"

      Carol  :-)

    Michael is 5 and half months old and just started chattering 
    "dada-dada-dada-dada" this past week.  My Mom clued me in on this one, 
    with my first son Kevin, to teach them "Dada".  It's easy to repeat but
    most important when the baby wakes up in the middle of the night
    they start chattering for "Dada".  My husband thought this was great
    with the first one, until I nudged him a few times in the middle
    of the night and said "Kevin's calling for his Dada!". ;^) Hubby
    is NOT at amused at all now that Michael first sounds are "Dada"
    too.    
    
    Just wait til he gets back form his business trip this week.  Michael
    will be saying "Dada" perfectly. ;^)
    
    Pat K.
    

    Kat's first word was "mik" (milk) and her second was "teeohs"
    (Cheerios).
    
    Steven:  dada.
    
    David:  up!  
    
    --bonnie

    I think this is a *great* topic, so amusing too.
    
    What I remember reading is that Dada *is usually* the first word.  What
    I remember, vaguely, is that something about the formation of the
    palate makes saying dada easier than any other word, so it's usually
    the first recognizable word.
    
    FWIW, I too loved to hear him call dada, or sometimes just daa, it made
    hubby real proud, and after all when he calls for dada in the middle of
    the night, mom just isn't allowed, right?  I snuck some extra zzzz's
    several times on this pretense, am I awful or what?
    
    Lyn 

    Daniel was about 5 months old when he starting saying DaDA. At first, I
    didn't think he knew what he was saying, but that evening, he walked
    right up to Frank, put his hand on his knee and looked up and said. 
    "Hi Dada!" We almost fainted! To think he actually KNEW Dada, but to
    say Hi, also.
    
    At 1 year old he has added several words to his vocabulary... Hi, Bye,
    Mama, Dada, Nana, BaBa (bottle, of course), Up, down, no,no,no (shaking
    his head), woof-woof, 
    
    Never ceases to amaze us!
    Norma

>    Daniel was about 5 months old when he starting saying DaDA. At first, I
    
>    didn't think he knew what he was saying, but that evening, he walked
                                                                ^^^^^^^^^
>    right up to Frank, put his hand on his knee and looked up and said. 
    
>    "Hi Dada!" We almost fainted! To think he actually KNEW Dada, but to
    
>    say Hi, also.
    
    
    He walked at 5 months of age?  Absolutely amazing! :-)
    
    Lori B.

First word:  I remember discussing in my Developmental Psych class
that "mama" was the first word, followed by "dada."  Funny how
this still doesn't match the experiences of many of us!  :-)

      Carol

    re: .33  My mistake... He crawled over to Frank, stood up and put his
    hand on Frank's knee... etc, etc...
    
    Sorry about that  :-)
    Norma

    re: .35
    
    Even crawling at 5 months is great!  My son didn't crawl until he was
    11 months old.  He's 15� months old now and he's just starting to walk. 
    He actually walked across the living room last night and then when he
    realized that he wasn't holding anything, he sat down and looked at me
    as if to say, "You didn't see that!".  I know I shouldn't be comparing
    him to other children and every child does things at their own speed,
    but I can't stand when people say to me, "You mean he's 15 months old
    and he doesn't walk yet, what's wrong with him?"  My response usually
    is, "He may not walk yet, but you should hear him talk!"
    
    Lori B.

    My mohter's friends first child said "Bowlingball" at age 5 1/2
    months... actually Neil would whisper it.. but it was plain as day.
    

    Okay .... now that we've got them talking and walking/running .....
    
    HOW do you get them to STOP?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?????????
    
    I swear, no lie, from the second that my two are awake (3 and 6 yrs
    old), their mouths are moving and don't stop.  Actually, they talk in
    their sleep too - all day, all night yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap. 
    Usually at full volume.
    
    Walking?  HAH!!!  Anytime we need to move, the only acceptable mode of
    transportation will be JUMPING and RUNNING.  If it's too close to run,
    we'll HOP.  If it's far to run, we'll throw ourselves on the ground
    when we get there ........
    
    WALK!!  Just WALK!!!  (-:  QUIETLY!
    
    ....time for some permanent ear plugs, I think!
    
    Seriously, DON'T rush it!!  Enjoy your silence!  Chris was talking
    perfectly by the time he was 2.  Jason waited till he was almost 3.
    His brother, the translator....
    
    Have fun!

    Ain't it the truth, Patty!
    
    And I remember being so relieved when Alex finally was (mostly) out of
    the staggering-in-random-directions-and-tripping-over-dust-molecules
    mode (thank you Dave Barry).
    
    At 6 1/2 she's still heavily into hopping, goofy dancing ("Mum. Mum.
    Mum. Mum. Mum.  I can do *this*!") and bizarre posturing, which reaches
    maximum intensity (of course) when I'm trying to part her hair....
    
    Leslie

    	Katie's first consistent intelligable "word" was Dank-oo.  (Thank you)  
    She used it both appropriately and as a synonym for "Please".
    
    Trace

    I can't believe all the exciting moments you have when your children
    start doing certain things!!!!!  My daughter will be 9 months old on
    January 10 and she has a vocabulary of 3 words, dada, pretty and
    baby!!!!  And she also will say uoh, uoh!  She also gets into a sitting
    position from her stomach!  She does this like a pro.  Now my 
    question is, is this the first step before she will start pulling
    herself up? And is this early for her to be talking like that?
    
    

    
    Yes I would say that is the first step to pulling herself up.
    My son first pulled himself up from sitting in his crib at 7 1/2
    months.  At that point he couldn't get into a sitting position himself
    yet.  Now at 9 months he is cruising all over the furniture.
    All children develop at different rates.  While I am pretty sure Kyle
    will be walking early, he hasn't said any words yet.  He gabs all the
    time but still no words.  I really can't wait til he can say Mama.
    
    /K