Conference moira::parenting_v3

Anne, are you sure at night that the baby really wants to nurse,
or does s/he just need to suck and you are the pacifier?  My first
used me as a pacifier.  

There is a topic in here titled Sleep Problems; it mentions a book by Ferber,
"Solving Your Child's Sleep Problems".  I read it and I highly recommend it.
My daughter is still too young to do most of his suggestions (almost 3 months), 
but it got me thinking on how I could "position" her so she would avoid many 
of the sleep problems child have. 

One thing that helped me during those first months: tank her up 
on food during the day. Don't skip any daytime feedings.  I woke my daughter 
every 2 hours to eat during the day and I think that helped.

Try to get as much rest as you can yourself (yes I know this is kind of
impossible in the beginning) and eat as well as you can; I found my daughter
stretched feedings out when my milk supply was plentiful.  Try little
rests like sitting instead of standing, lying down instead of sitting.  (Like,
breastfeed lying down as many feedings as possible). The rest accumulates....

    My baby started sleeping through the night at 5 weeks. She used a pacifier
    only when she was to go to sleep. Also, the very first night I moved
    her out of our bedroom to her own room and a crib instead of bassinet,
    was the night she slept straight through. It just happened, I don't
    think we did anything to encourage her. I guess we were lucky!
    
    BTW, I did not nurse I bottle fed. She went 4 hrs. in between feedings.
    
    
    Sandy
    
    

    With my son (now 4 months old), we let him sleep and eat when ever he
    wanted to, until he was about a month old. At that point, the doctor
    recommended giving him a bottle before going to bed for the night. With
    breast feeding, you never know how much the child is actually taking
    in. With the bottle, we knew that Daniel was getting a good feeding
    before going to bed. We also watched his schedule for a couple of days.
    We found that he was taking a 4-5 hour nap from 4-~8 at night. We
    simply kept him awake in the late afternoon to early evening. since
    then, at 5 weeks old, he has been sleeping through the night. He
    averages from 8PM to 7AM. 

Find what works for you,
    Norma

    With both my kids, we let them sleep and eat whenever they
    wanted to.  Eric slept through the night at 2 months, Monica
    slept through the night at 6 weeks.  Each baby is so different,
    you really can't compare one to another.  Also with both Eric
    and Monica, the sleep patterns change all the time.  For
    example, Monica (now 4 month) has been up at 4:00am everyday
    for the past two weeks.  She is teething now and it is bothering
    her.  
    
    So, if you think your baby is awake because of hungry, then feed
    him.   Sooner or later, they will sleep through the night.
    
    Wendy 

    I'd try the pacifier, as mentioned earlier. When my daughter was just
    turning 4 weeks, I had my husband get up with her to give her a bottle
    (I was breastfeeding but needed the sleep!). He put a pacifier in her
    mouth, and she slept until 8am! From then on, she sleeps 11-12hours a 
    night. There are many theories on bottle-fed babies sleep earlier than
    breast-fed but recent studies have proven there is no link. I was still
    99% breastfeeding during this time period.
    
    I realize that I may have to deal with taking the pacifier away later
    but I figure I'll deal with it when the time comes. Why worry if she
    may stop taking it all on her own? - she did this at 12 weeks with
    rocking - didn't want to be rocked to sleep anymore...
    
    Julia 

    I'll pitch "Nighttime Parenting" one more time.  By Dr. William Sears.
    Plus, talking with the parents who are close enough to you to be honest
    and tell you their child didn't sleep through the night for many, many
    months or went through phases of sleeping and then experiencing
    nightwaking due to their developmental changes.
    
    IMO, a better question than how to get my child to sleep through the
    night is "How do I balance my family's many and varied needs through
    the day and night?".  This can get you thinking more creatively.
    
    =ss, who naps every weekend with her baby to catch up

    You all may think I'm crazy but, have any of you ever tried flipping
    the baby's clock?  By this I mean taking the baby and turning him/her
    head over heals.  Do this just once.  An aquaintance of mine told me
    about it (I thought he was crazy until my neighbor suggested the same 
    thing that very same day).  I did it with my son when he was 7 weeks
    old and he has been sleeping through the night ever since.  I didn't 
    change anything else except that I starting weaning him from breast to 
    bottle right around that time.  He's never had a pacifier either.
    
    Lori B.  

    I think it is really important to teach kids early that night and day
    are different.  Because both of us work and are both wrecks without a
    good night's sleep, I "trained" both my kids to sleep through the night
    by the time I had to go back to work.
    
    Simple rules - once it is night time the baby doesn't leave the bedroom
    or if they do it is to a darkened room.  Keep the lights low when you
    are in their room.  If possible have them take daytime naps in other
    places than their crib.  Do not play with them or stimulate them
    when you are in their room at night.  The objective is to feed them,
    change them or whatever with as little fuss as possible.  Don't ever
    wake them up.  Let them wake up to be fed. Once they reach 11-12
    pounds they should be able to sleep 8 hours without being fed at night.
    Increase day time feedings to compensate.
    
    GOOD LUCK!
    
    
    

    re .9
    I really have to take issue with the comment about when they reach
    11-12 lbs. they should be able to sleep for 8 hrs. without a feeding.
    I remember reading this in Spock and feeling like a bad mother or
    something because my 1 month old, 12 lb. kid had a 2 am feeding.
    
    The bottom line is that kids sleep through when they're ready to.
    You can encourage all you want with things like no talking, darkened 
    room, "boring" night time feedings - and I did all these things - but
    children in general sleep too lightly and too sporadically for the
    first few months to really expect that they will sleep for 8 hours
    without a peep.
    
    

    Another thing that I found helps teach the difference between
    night and day is having night clothes and day clothes, and
    changing into day clothes every morning and into night clothes
    every night.  
    
    It seems kind of silly when all you're doing is going from one
    stretch-terry sleeper to another, but it does seem to help the
    baby adjust to the rhythm of night and day a little better.
    
    --bonnie

    re .10 the point is that they SHOULD be able to sleep thru the night 
    without your feeling guilty.  If your baby can't then you do what you
    have to do.
    

    None of my children (4) slept through the night till they were at least
    4 months old.  By sleeping through the night, I mean you put them to be
    around 8pm, they wake up around 6am.  They always needed a feeding in
    there at some point.  As newborns, they needed two feedings.  I view
    with skepticism parents who insist their kids slept through the night
    at 1 week, or one month.  Perhaps our definitions differ. 
    
    

Kathryne didn't even CONSIDER sleeping through the night until she
was about 8 months old.  Her sister, on the other hand, is getting
up only 1-2 times now and is 7 weeks old.  My Dr. has twin girls
that are 3 years old and they STILL don't sleep through the night.
Each child is different.

Liz

    
    Just to get another perspective...I spoke to a nutrionist during my
    pregnancy and she stated that you should WAKE a young baby (I think it
    was the first month) to feed them if they go more than 5 hours or so
    without eating.  She said it wasn't good for them to go for a longer
    period of time without food.
    
    I can understand how the base noter feels.  I was very frustrated and
    tried lots of things to encourage my daughter to sleep an 8 hour or so
    stretch without waking.  I think its important to determine the reason
    for the waking and then deal with it accordingly.  Katie woke at some
    time during the night and wanted to eat.  Once she was fed she fell
    right back to sleep - no problem.  I personally found it difficult to
    try to ignore the cries (as some suggested) when I felt it was due to
    a biological need (Katie was a small baby so I felt she needed the
    feeding).  Finally at about 6 months old (probably at 14 lbs) she 
    regularly slept through the night without waking for a feeding.
    
    I think if I felt she woke up and wanted to play or "get attention" 
    regularly in the middle of the night, then I would consider "training"
    her, by keeping the room dark, letting her cry for increasing periods
    of time before seeing what the problem was, etc.  You can't make the
    child sleep through, but you can try to ensure that they remain in 
    their beds and not encourage the pattern of waking up. 
    
    I hope she sleeps through for you soon.  I know I don't function well
    on little or broken sleep.
    
    Sue

My baby is 7 weeks old and sleeps from 11ish to 5:00.  She eats about 4 to 5.5
ounecs every 3 hours during the day and sleeps probably around a total of 5
hours during the day. My question is how can I get her to sleep a little more
at night? will she just do it on her own one day? 

(I didn't know what people meant when they say sleeping thru the night)

    11 to 5 mets my definition of "sleeping through".  She should start
    stretching it out on her own.

Rachel is 5 months (tomorrow) and will sleep about 7-8 hours at a stretch,
but since she usually goes to bed around 6-7 that means she still needs a bottle
in the night.  She also weighs 15 pounds 3.5 ounces!  In any case, her pedi
did suggest a teaspoon of corn oil in her last bottle before bed.  I haven't
tried it.  She will actually down a 9 ounce bottle that consists of a 4 ounce
jar of fruit, about 2-3 T. of cereal and enough formula to fill  it before
she retires for the evening.  When she gets up in the night she is really
hungry and will put down another 7-8 ounces of formula!

Liz

    I never considered 11 to 5 sleeping through the night.  I guess
    people's definitions do vary.  I always considered 8 to 6, a good 10
    hours, sleeping through the night.
    
    When mine were babies, I'd wake them around 11 to midnight.  Give them
    another bottle then back to bed.  It was more for my sanity than
    anything, because I really needed that 8 hours of sleep from midnight
    to 7 or 8.
    

    
    10 hours???   I guess my 21-month old still doesn't sleep through
    the night!!!
    
    Carol

    
    
    	My daughter has been sleeping through the night (11-5:30)
    	since she was about three weeks old.  I view "sleeping
    	through the night" as "no more 2:00am feeding"...
    
    	She's now 11 weeks and about two weeks ago, she started
    	to go to bed between 6-8 and sleep straight through until 
    	5:30-7:00 the next morning.
    
    	Usually around 3:00, she'll fuss a bit but then goes
    	right back to sleep.  I only get up and check on her for
    	my own sanity.
    
    	And FWIW, she usually has a 2 1/2oz. fruit, 2 tablespoons
    	ceral (mixed together) and a 7oz. bottle.  She weighs
    	over 12lbs already..
    
    	/Kim
    
    	

Thanks for the input so far.  I'm not too comfortable about giving her anything
else but formula at this point since she throws up about once a week now which
makes me think that her digestive system isn't that great.  I guess we'll just
try to shift her feedings so that she gets a last feeding close to 11:00.
Last night we got lucky, we fed her at 9:30 and using the swing and then walking
with her got her to sleep at 11:00 and crossed our fingers, she didn't wake up
until 6:30 which is enuf at this point to make us happy!

    
    	RE: throws up about once a week
    
    	Once a week?!???!  Oh for that much luck!!!!  My daughter
    	must spit up at least a LITTLE at every single feeding
    	otherwise she just wouldn't be her.
    
    	/Kim