Conference moira::parenting_v3

    I think you should respect his right to control his toys--otherwise
    they aren't his, but yours.  If you want to teach him respect for 
    the property of other people, you must have respect for his, or he
    will think you inconsistent and unfair.
    
    He is probably somewhat jealous of the attention the younger one is
    getting, which is understandable.  It's also likely he does not want
    his toys destroyed--a perfectly reasonable fear when a 1.5-year-old
    gets hold of them!
    
    On the other hand, you don't have to share with him, and could show
    him how sharing would be beneficial to him by refusing his next request
    to use something of yours.
    
    		-John Bishop

    I don't know alot about this subject but had an idea that I'll
    throw out.   Would it be reasonable to ask your older son to
    keep those things that he does not wish to share in his own
    bedroom?   I'm assuming that he's being terretorial over things
    that you know he doesn't really want to play with anyways...maybe
    given a choice of keeping and playing with them in his room only
    might lighten him up a bit and it is now *HIS CHOICE* so he has
    some control over the situation.   The flip side is that if the
    toys are in a common area (playroom, living room, wherever you
    keep this kind of thing), then he will need to share them with
    his younger brother.
    
    Just an idea,
    Carol

    re .2 Excellent Idea - that is what we have done with ours.
    
    Bedrooms are enter with permission only, common playroom is used
    by both kids and toys are shared.  Seems to be working for the time
    beiong , but when both of them want to have friends over at the same
    time we may have to go to an alternative plan.
    

    re: .2
    
    Good advice.  We do have basement where most of the not currently used
    toys are stored.  My oldest thinks he owns all the toys in the basement
    since he was the only child for awhile.  But I can explain to him to
    take the toys he wants to his room and the rest will be common domain.
    
    Great idea - thanks

We use the same technique as .2 for a 6-year-old and a 1-year-old:  any
toys left downstairs in the common area are to be shared.  Any toys 
that are unsafe for the baby or that the older child is unwilling to
share have to stay in the older one's room.

When David was born, a lot of Steven's toys were, like .4's, stored 
away in various places.  We let him go through them and make the decisions
about which he wanted to keep and which he wanted to share.  He was
surprisingly generous.
 
--bonnie

    Ditto for common vs. private areas for toys.  We have a 3.5 year old
    and a nine month old.  Whatever is out of the bedroom is "common
    property."
    
    Just as an aside - and this is just my personal perspective - I'll be
    dipped if I going to furnish #2 with an entire set of toys just because
    #1 is territorial.  Learning to share is part of learning to live in a
    civilized society.  We all do it with, perhaps, the possible exception of 
    Republicans.  ;)
    
    Good luck,
    LZP
    
    
    PS - Defining the common vs. private rule doesn't necessarily make 
         enforcement an easy task.
    

    re: .1
    >Learning to share is part of learning to live in a
    >civilized society.  We all do it with, perhaps, the possible exception of 
    >Republicans.  ;)
    
    I am a republican and I share, all republicans are not bad, now when
    you talk about democrats, thats a different matter.
    
    Paul