Conference moira::parenting_v3

    My son use to do that when he was an infant.  Maybe your son has a
    problem releasing gas bubbles.  By chance does he straighten his legs
    (kicking almost)?
    
    I hope this helps.  Have you mentioned this to your pedi?
    
    Denise
    

    Read Ferber's book--it sounds like your child might have
    "night terror", which is a state in which the child looks
    awake but is actually not awake.
    
    It must be quite terrifying--you have my sympathy!
    
    		-John Bishop

    That was about the age Daniel, now 2, started the same kind of
    nighttime activity.  He would wake up, but not, generally accompanied
    by screaming, and crying, and sometime, not all the time lashing out to
    hit.  It is a terrible thing to experience, especially if you yourself
    are awakened by the distress if this child.  
    
    We are attributing it to night terrors, and/or nightmares...that is the
    age where dreaming begins, and their dreams are based on real things
    and events.  Daniel now actually talks along with the actions so we can 
    at least get a picture of what he's doing in these dreams.  
    
    We have not consulted any specialist, or even mentioned this to the 
    pediatrician, because when they first began they seemed to be very 
    frequent, sometime 2 episodes a night.  As he has gotten older, they have 
    become fewer and farther between.  They do tend to occur more when he has 
    had a very busy day of activities.
    
    How do we react to these, really depends...generally, we go into his
    room, and speak in soft tones announcing who we are, "It's Mama, (or
    Papa), and then continue in soft re-assuring tones, physical contact
    mainly from rubbing his back, and not picking him up unless it is
    really necessary.  Ten to 15 minutes later he is calm and back to sleep.  
    Not so frequently, we actually have to wake him up.
    
    Night terrors run in my wife's family, her two brother suffered from
    them when they were little kids, but have seemed to outgrow it.  I
    don't know if this can be heredatory.
    
    As Daniel has gotten older, the episodes have diminished but they still
    happen. 
    
    We have never discussed them with him, as the next morning, he never
    seems the worse for wear.  
    
    Give lots of love, and stay patient.  You have my sympathy too!
    
    Carl
    

    I can't point to specific notes, but V1 had some very relevant
    discussions on night terrors. They are indeed quite different from
    nightmares. A friend described his son's night terrors as the boy being
    lost between sleep and wakefulness. Haunting, but it does pass.
    

    Paul:
    
    Cory (now 16 months) has been doing this for 4-5 months.  We also
    thought that it was caused by night terrors/nightmares.
    
    We try to sooth him in the crib (talking softly, rubbing his back,etc.)
    If he seems especially frightened, we take him into a well-lit room and
    wake him up (Ferber doesn't recommend waking the child).  But we have
    found that it takes less time to wake him up and then resettle him than
    to let him work it out himself.
    
    Cory also seems to get these when he's had an especially busy day and
    when he gets "overtired".
    
    
    - Terry

    One of the notes said "he looks awake, but isn't" Is this the same as
    sleep walking?  My husband, and I've noticed it to some extent in AJ,
    can have perfectly coherant conversations with you, eyes open, and deny
    the conversation ever took place.  AJ can wake up (so it appears) ask
    for a drink, or even toddle off the bathroom, and never remember it
    happened.
    
    With my husband this can be scarey, since he's a call-firefighter,
    he'll sit up in bed announce he's NOT going to a call (for some
    mumbled reason) and go back to bed, in the morning I'll ask why he
    didn't go to the call and he'll deny there ever was a call or the
    conversation for that matter!  I sometimes have to physically push him out
    of bed to make sure he's awake!
    
    Is this type of thing hereditary?
    
    Lyn
     

    I had a night terror once as an adult and I can report that it had
    zilch effect on me when I woke up.  I was living alone and gave my key
    to a friend who entered the apartment when I was sleeping.  I screamed
    like murder but woke up calm with no memory of it at all.
    
    L

    Thanks for all the replies.  Yes it does sound like night terrors,
    he does look awake but since he does not recognize us I wonder if
    he really is.  And the next day it is as if it never happened.
    
    BTW, last night we make sure he had 1 1/2 hour after he ate before
    we put him to bed and it did not occur last night, just a thought.

    I will get Ferber's book.

    Thanks - Paul

    I did some checking and found the following notes concerning
    night terrors:
    
    Parenting_v1    note:  314
    
    Parenting_v2    note:  523,  1924
    

Evan did this for a little while.  One of the times we discovered he was 
teething, and it hurt like crazy.  Other times it appeared to be nightmares.
I started waking him when this happened, but it wasn't easy to do.  It
was easier, though, for us to wake him and put him back down again, then
to just put him down again since he would keep screaming and waking up.

     Carol

    To the basenoter - you might want to talk to your pediatrician on this
    one.  Night Terrors are quite different from nightmares.
    
    My oldest son, now six, had true night terrors at about the age of
    five.  He would wake up at the same time every night - 10:30 to 11:00 -
    and sit up in bed screaming and crying, usually pointing to something
    in his room as if terrified of it.  I remember once he was pointing to
    a shadow on the wall that looked like a monster face ( it was the way
    his night light was positioned) but upon moving it so that it wasn't
    scary any more, he still cried and screamed and was truly terrified. No
    amount of holding talking or soothing had any impact, because hea was
    NOT awake.
    
    I was very concerned and did some reading and talking to people on
    this.  What I found out was that these were "Night Terrors", that they
    occur in boys far more often than girls, and that they occur as a
    result of a particular state of growth of the child's brain.  The child
    is "stuck" between deep sleep and "dream sleep".  He will not remember
    the episode the following morning.  Also, true "night terrors" occur at
    particular ages, five being one of them.  You cannot wake them up from
    a night terror, the best you can do is try to soothe them, make sure
    they don't get hurt, and try to get them to go back to true sleep.
    
    Now, I have no idea if your child is experiencing true night terrors. 
    From what I've read, he seems too young.  But I am not an expert on
    this!  I got most of my info from reading about it, my sister who is a
    nurse and whose daughter went through them at the age of five, and my
    pediatrician.
    
    For what it's worth, probably everyone of us parents has had a similar
    experience to your's, at various times in their kids' growth.  But if
    you are really concerned, call your pedi and talk to him/her about it.
    

    Richard Ferber's book "solve Your Child's Sleep Problems ($7.95) has
    lots of info on night terrors p 169-173 and Chapter 10.

    Summary of those pages:

    It is imp to distinguish between nightmares or night (sleep) terrors
    because what you should do for each is quite different. Nightmares are
    scary dreams that occur within REM sleep and which are followed by full
    waking. 
    
    Sleep terrors occur during a partial arousal from the deepest
    phase of non-dreaming sleep. Nightmares usually occur at the end of the
    night when REM sleep is most intense, sleep terror happen during the
    1st few hours after you child has fallen asleep when non-REM sleep is
    deepest. 
    
    A child with a nightmare will recognize you immediately and
    will want you to hold, comfort, and reassure him. He may remember a
    dream and might be afraid to go back to sleep. A child with a night
    terror is not fully awake. He may cry out regardless of age, but the
    cry may sound more like a scream, or he may talk, moan and cry all at
    the same time in a confused and seemingly nonsensical way. During the
    episode he will not recognize you or allow you to comfort him. If you
    try to hold him he may push you away and become more agitated. And he
    will have no recollection of the episode when he does wake, either at
    the end of the sleep terror or in the morn. After a sleep terror a
    child does not have fear. On waking he will actually relax all signs of
    fear or agitation will disappear, and he will return to sleep rapidly.

    He goes on a long explanation of these behaviors, but in summary, he
    says that at the time of a sleep terror the key is to be as uninvolved
    as possible, but when your child has had a nightmare, warm supportive
    involvement is the best treatment.

    Chapter 10 goes into great depth on sudden partial wakings. 
    The info I found most useful was that these wakings happen most
    frequently about 1-4 hours after falling asleep. The child seems
    agitated, confused, upset. After 10-40 minutes the child will stretch,
    yawn and lie back down.

    Triggers can be internal, but in my son's case, I think they were
    external for example, walking up the stairs making a noise or covering
    him with his blanket.

    Hope this helps.
    
    Gale

    Hi Gang,
    
    	When do nightmares/night terrors usually begin?
    
    	Do most toddlers experience them?
    
    Any info would be greatly appreciated--
    
    Thank you,
    Sheryl
    

    Steven had his firt nightmare at about 6-7 months, maybe a little
    younger.  
    
    David started only recently -- about 19-20 months.  
    
    If Kat had nightmares, she didn't make enough noise to wake me up
    until she was 4.
    
    --bonnie