[Search for users] [Overall Top Noters] [List of all Conferences] [Download this site]

Conference moira::parenting_v3

Title:Parenting
Notice:READ 1.27 BEFORE WRITING
Moderator:CSC32::DUBOIS
Created:Wed May 30 1990
Last Modified:Tue May 27 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1364
Total number of notes:23848

638.0. "Shower for 2nd??????" by UCOUNT::STRASENBURGH () Thu Jan 17 1991 08:10

    I don't remember seeing anything about a shower for 2nd pregnancy.
    Do you give someone a shower for their 2nd baby?
    What type of gifts should you give them?
    
    Lynne
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
DateLines
638.1i don't think soTIPTOE::STOLICNYThu Jan 17 1991 08:3010
    
    I've never heard of having a shower for 2nd or subsequent pregnancies.
    I think that most baby apparatus is still in pretty good condition
    after one baby and there isn't as big a need for the shower.
    
    I do, however, always give a gift to the baby (and a gift for the
    other sibling(s)) after the birth. 
    
    Just my experience,
    Carol
638.2Yes - if there's a big age differenceISLNDS::BARR_LSnow - Yech!Thu Jan 17 1991 09:044
    We gave one of my friend's a shower for her second child, but her
    children are 9 years apart.
    
    Lori B.
638.3Some suggestionsSCAACT::COXKristen Cox - Dallas ACT Sys MgrThu Jan 17 1991 09:3419
Suggestions for 2nd baby gifts:

o	Clothes, if the babies are far apart, different sex, or not
	born in the same season.

o	Double stroller, if children are close in age

o	Diapers (or formula if not breast-feeding)

o	Pacifiers, nipples, teething rings, or other things that
	may not be passed down for sanitary reasons

o	Baby book

It is also good to get a list from the mother of things she needs.
And it's really special for the older child if you throw in a little
something for him/her too!

My $.02
638.4a few moreTIPTOE::STOLICNYThu Jan 17 1991 09:4721
    
    To add to Kristen's list, if I were to have a second baby, I'd like 
    to receive:
    
    - socks, onesies, baby washclothes, and bibs.  these things all 
      seem to get rather ragged/stained and wouldn't pass down too well.
      also blanket sleepers don't seem to wear too well and could 
      probably stand replacing.
    
    - anything personalized with the new baby's name, like a coat
      rack or name tag for the bedroom door or a step stool or one
      of those personalized books...
    
    - a basket of baby toiletries or things that get consumed - shampoo,
      powder, wipes (Baby Fresh only (-: ), q-tips, disposable diapers,
      etc.   
    
    - offers for an evening of babysitting!!!
    
    Carol     
    
638.5Especially if this is Dad's firstLILAC::STHILAIREThu Jan 17 1991 11:1119
    I was given a shower for my second baby for a couple of reasons.
    
    1.  Different daddy for second child - This was his first and 
    	his family (and mine) wanted to do this for us.
    
    2.  There was seven years difference between the two.
    
    Favorite gifts were:  onesies, sleeper outfits, diapers, baby
    monitor.
    
    Everyone knew I had kept all my big stuff (crib, stroller, high
    chair, playpen) so they could get little extras instead of the 
    stuff you NEED.  Seven years or so ago baby monitors and onesies
    weren't standard baby items as they are now.  I still remember 
    constantly pulling my older daughters t-shirts down.  Onesies 
    must have been invented by a frustrated mom!!
    
    
    
638.6Daycare Can do a number on stuffFSOA::EFINIZIOThu Jan 17 1991 14:1110
    
    	My sister-in-law and I are giving my sister a second baby shower.
    	Reason being, she's been doing day-care since her first, who is
    	now 3+.  Most of her stuff has been beat up since doing it, and she
    	really doesn't have much of anything that's half decent.  Were
    	keeping it real small, just family and good friends.  Were also
    	making it a Jack and Jill.  Something my family gave me, a Jack
    	and Jill cookout, which was wonderful!
    
    	Ellen
638.7have it after the baby is bornCRONIC::ORTHThu Jan 17 1991 14:4014
    From my wife (who never got a shower after our first):
    
    Have the shower after the baby is born. Then people can give the
    appropriate sex outfits, acessories, etc. Especially appropriate if the
    first and second were different sexes.
    It might also be nice to have showers for those who are having a third
    or fourth baby...lots of stuff wears out by then!
    Diapers (or diaper service) make great gifts! a nice free-to-the-giver
    gift is an evening of babysitting, or an offer of housecleaning.
    You can never have too many onesies!
    
    These from my wife, now expecting our fourth child....
    
    --dave--
638.8STAR::MACKAYC'est la vie!Fri Jan 18 1991 09:1516
    
    If the kids are far apart, maybe "updating/upgrading" the apparatus
    is a good idea. 
    
    eg. - a quieter or battery operated swing
    	- new gadgets like pacifier attachment to clothing
    	- car battery operated bottle warmer
    	- newer crib toys
        etc.
    
    Also, I found that even if the two kids are the same gender, a couple
    of new outfits are nice. It makes the kid special, not just another
    "girl" or "boy".
    
    
    Eva.
638.9Party! Did I hear the word "Party"? !!!CALS::JENSENFri Jan 18 1991 11:1426
    I gave a friend of mine a shower for her "upcoming third" BECAUSE:
    
    .  mostly it is a nice thing to do ... there are still a lot
       of things needed whether it's the first, second ...
    .  this was her husband's first
    .  she never had a shower for her "first two"
    .  everyone enjoyed it and had a nice time "getting together" -- and
       Mom-to-be and baby got some nice things  (sweater sets, shirts,
       clothes, new crib layette, lots of diapers and toiletries, 
       baby book, etc.)
    .  we did limit it to family and close friends ... people who were
       thrilled with the idea (and not moaning about "this is her THIRD"!)
    
    Since I'd give a gift to the new baby (whether or not it was #1, #2 ...
    #12), a shower is yet a plus for getting together, laughing, seeing
    all the gifts and having a good time!
    
    Wouldn't matter to me what level of the family tree this little tyke is
    ... it's still a newborn!
    
    Just my two cents!
    Dottie
    
    PS:  From someone who really loves "any reason" to get together,
         celebrate and have a good time.
    
638.103rd / "Surprise!" BabyMYGUY::LANDINGHAMMrs. KipMon Jan 21 1991 12:4416
    My brother and sister-in law are going to have their 3rd child around
    mid March.  This pregnancy was totally unexpected.  They have two boys
    {"Irish twins"} ages 8 and 9.  They never expected or planned on having
    another child.  This WILL be their last.
    
    Since they have nothing in the way of baby clothes, furniture, etc.,
    and since she was living in Georgia the last two pregnancies [still is]
    I am giving her a baby shower in two weeks.  I have been asking people
    to bring small, "packable" gifts and/or gift certificates for large
    chain stores which are here in New England and also in Georgia [Sears,
    J.C. Penney, Service Merchandise, Toys 'r Us, etc.].  
    
    BTW:  I've already been asked if my husband and I will be the
    godparents.  I'd like to be the one to buy the crib.  Is this something
    "special" that usually a mother or both parents like to pick out them-
    selves?  Perhaps I ought to be doing a gift certificate myself...  
638.11US Savings Bonds are great too !BAGELS::RIOPELLEWed Jan 23 1991 10:359
    
    We had christining parties for all three children, the first a boy
    received all the large items ( I.E. Crib, changing table, stroller,
    play pen) as well as tons of cloths. The second boy received cloths,
    and the third, a girl, recived all girls cloths. In all cases they all
    received US Savings bonds and some cash which we used some to buy what 
    we really needed, and as someone else said its a great time to get
    together.
    
638.12How about a Mother's Shower?ICS::NELSONKFri Jan 25 1991 12:0212
    Showers for 2nd babies are nice, but according to the etiquette
    books, itt's not really necessary and might be interpreted by those
    outside of the family as a "grab for gifts."  What might be nice
    is a "Mother's Shower."  Years ago, when I lived in Virginia, a
    friend became pregnant *very* unexpectedly with her third child.
    So we had a small party for her and gave things we knew *she* would
    appreciate -- an evening of babysitting, gift certificate for a
    manicure, a couple of trashy novels, some bubble bath, a bottle of
    perfume or cologne.  Since she had to go back to work, we also pitched
    in for a three-month subscription to the Wall Street Journal.
    
    The look on her face when we surprised her....I'll never forget it!
638.13Proper Etiquette? All a Matter of Opinion.MYGUY::LANDINGHAMMrs. KipFri Jan 25 1991 12:4226
    Well, my $.02 - any kind of shower could be interpreted that way, I
    suppose.  I truly feel that the things that my brother & sister-in law
    need are things for the baby.  This is totally unexpected and of
    course, given the age of their two boys, they have NOTHING in left of
    their baby furniture, clothes, etc.  So, if people are of the opinion
    that this baby shower is a grab for gifts, then they should just refuse
    the invitation or not come at all.  Many people prefer to buy gifts for
    the baby once it is born.  That's fine, too. 
    
    My two newphews are 8 & 9.  Nobody in my family remembers that when
    they were born my brother and his wife were already living in Atlanta
    [we are from Mass.].  So they never got a baby shower for either of the
    two.  This time, since he works for a major airline, she can fly back
    and forth and come and go as she pleases... 
    
    My mission has been to remind folks that this really is Donna's first
    "official" baby shower, and that they really need "everything."  If
    someone does feel that the baby shower is inappropriate, I have no
    problem with their not accepting the invitation.
    
    Mother's Shower is a nice idea, though... and God knows, mom certainly
    deserves to have some of those nice things done for her... and will
    definitely appreciate it!
    
    Rgds,
    marcia
638.14pardon my French, but...CSSE32::RANDALLPray for peaceFri Jan 25 1991 15:384
Do what's kind and right under the circumstances, and the hell with the
etiquette books.  

--bonnie
638.15"Mother" showerCSOA1::TULANKOFri Jan 25 1991 15:548
    RE .12  We did that here at work for a woman who was 
    having her second child.  We had already given her a
    shower for her first, so this time we pulled our 
    money together her and got her a nightgown/bathrobe
    and a bag of toiletries for the hospital stay.  She was
    quite suprised and loved the gift.
    
    Kara