Conference moira::parenting_v3

    
    How old is Rayna, and what is her current care arrangement?  One hopes
    that she enjoys it, and might miss activities and friends if taken out,
    quite apart from the strain that two kids home might put on her mom.
    Aaron was 4 when Eric arrived, and stayed in full time care, though his
    mom took a 3 month leave.  I think it was good for him that this part
    of his life was scarcely disrupted or changed at all by the new
    arrival.
    
    		- Bruce
    

    Caileigh turned two the day before Paige was born.  I continued to send
    her to daycare two or three days a week when I was home on STD.  The
    benefits were several:
    
    1)  It decreased the number of upheavals in her life since she was 
        used to attending.  The place, teachers and friends were all 
        "hers," not something else she had to share with that new baby.
    
    2)  It gave me time alone with Paige that I felt she (and I) deserved,
        and which was difficult at first with (a jealous) Caileigh home.
    
    3)  It kept her slot open at daycare; it also eliminated the
        possibility of adjustment problems when the time came to start
        again.
    
    4)  It made it easier for me to really focus time and attention on
        Caileigh when she was home.
    
    5)  It gave me a little more rest time, which I sorely needed after a 
        very difficult delivery.
    
    -Tracy
    
    

    My vote is go for the part-time is that an option.  I sent my brood
    three days a week when number 4 was born and it was extremely helpful. 
    If you can swing it financially do it.  I had little to no jealousy to
    deal with in my kids however.  They welcomed the new baby with open
    arms, and a great deal of curiousity.  They enjoyed their daycare, it
    was during the summer and they played outside there almost all day,
    something they couldn't do at home when mom had to tkae care of the
    baby.  Plus it gave me a chance to rest, which I sorely needed.
    

    
    
    
    one dad's experience...
    
    Alexandra was 3 years 2 months when Mark was born. We changed her
    schedule from full time to 4 days per week for a few months, and then
    returned to full time day care. Stacey went back to work when Mark 
    was 3 months and I was home 3 days/week for 15 months.
    
    Alexandra enjoyed being home and playing with her brother, but missed
    her friends at day care, and had the vocabulary to tell us that she
    did not like sharing her time with her brother. Caring for an infant
    takes enough time from a 3 year old who is used to undivided attention
    that she will show in whatever way she is able that she is not happy with
    the new situation. So, back to school and a happier existence.
    
    I did, however, let her "skip" daycare for no reason whatsoever if she
    felt like staying home. I tryed to schedule my days so that she had a
    special time during one of Mark's naps when this happened.
    
    She didn't ask for a day home every other day, but (if my memory serves
    correctly) maybe once a month, so I found that to be a good
    arrangement. 
    
    Joe

Without question we're keeping Kathryne in daycare, but probably
cutting back on her hours a little.  Mainly for the same reasons
already mentioned, i.e., I don't want to disrupt her routine and
her friendships, I'll need a break, etc.  I'm on leave now, waiting
for #2 and have been sending her.  In general, I've been taking her
over a little later in the day, maybe after watching a video or
going to breakfast at McDonalds.  Also been picking her up a little
earlier.  

Liz

    We Kept Eric in daycare full-time while I was on STD.
    Same as what Liz did, I took him over a little later in
    the day and picked him up a little earlier in the afternoon.
    It worked out great.  I got plenty of rest and really enjoy
    spending time with the baby.  For Eric, I also think it was
    a good arrangement.  Otherwise, he would be bored.  Therefore,
    If money is not an issue, I vote for full-time daycare. 
    BTW, Eric was 26 month old when Monica was born.
    
    Wendy

    We left Steven, 5, in his regular daycare and regular hours when
    David was born -- we tried to change his routine as little as
    possible as a result of the baby.
    
    --bonnie

    Never having used a daycare at all, as my wife has been home full-time
    with all of our children since day 1, I may seem unqualified to answer
    this. My comment is (and I hope its helpful) that if you are not used
    to being the full-time, 7 days a week caregiver for your 3.5 yr. old,
    *don't start when you have a newborn in the house*! Caring for a
    pre-schooler alone, full-time, is hard enough, and since you'll also
    have the baby, it would not be a good time to have your son home all
    the time. Maybe try the in later, out earlier, that others have
    suggested, or skip one day a week, or something, but if I were you (and
    my wife would wholeheartedly agree), don't jump into full-time
    caregiving for both, right after the baby's birth!
    
    --dave--

    I'm in the same situation (due in 3+ weeks) and intend to keep our son
    in daycare 3 days a week. I don't want him disrupted much more (see a
    previous note about evaluating daycare) but I'm being realistic about
    what I will be able to accomplish with 2 kids at home. I don't think
    there is anyway I could do a good job keeping my son entertained the
    way he wants and needs to be and recover myself at the same time. I did
    tell my son's daycare that I need flexibility at this point and they
    said no problem at all.
    
    Once the baby is born, I have no intention of waking up a sleeping baby
    to get my son to daycare at a specific time but will work that within
    the schedule of the daycare center (learning activites start at 10:00 so
    he'll be there by then). I too assume it will be a later drop off and
    pick up time.
    
    I think part-time is important for 2 reasons; first it gives you time
    alone with the newborn (like you had with the first) and secondly, it
    gives you relaxed time with both children (our weekends seem to be
    so hectic).
    
    Best of luck for a short delivery!!!
    
    ANdrea                         

    Ditto on the majority of replies here.  Paige continued in Day Care
    part-time when Jake was born and I was on STD.  
    
    It worked out especially well for us as Jake developed acute jaundice 
    and had to go for daily morning blood tests to the hospital for a week 
    and a half after he was born.  It would have been much more difficult 
    to do with my 3� year old along as well.
    
    Best wishes to you!
    
    -ali

Thanks for all of the replies -- I'm going to resist the
temptation to be "super-mom", and keep Rayna in daycare
part-time (with shortened hours).  My daycare is willing,
and I'll feel Rayna's getting the best of both situations
(she loves daycare, but she's excited about having a 
little brother or sister).