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Conference moira::parenting_v3

Title:Parenting
Notice:READ 1.27 BEFORE WRITING
Moderator:CSC32::DUBOIS
Created:Wed May 30 1990
Last Modified:Tue May 27 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1364
Total number of notes:23848

438.0. "Sharing room with newborn!" by UCOUNT::STRASENBURGH () Mon Oct 22 1990 12:12

    I am expecting number 2 in May 1991. My first will be two in May. We
    live in a two bedroom condo and the two kids will have to share the
    same room. 
    
    What type of problems might I run into? When the baby wakes up for a
    feeding will it wake my son up? My son is a good sleeper now, I would
    say he is a averge sleeper(not a heavy sleeper, or not a light
    sleeper). 
    
    Will he feel like the new baby is taking over his room? 
    
    Am I worrying for nothing?  and will my son adjust?  
    
    I would love to hear from other parents who have had to deal with this
    situation.
    
    Thanks,
    
    Lynne 
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438.1just starting down the same road...RANGER::PEACOCKFreedom is not free!Mon Oct 22 1990 13:1713
   Hmmmm.  Well, for us, daughter #1 is 19 months old, and #2 is about
   4 weeks old.  #2 sleeps in a basinet in our room for now - it
   simply makes it much easier, especially since my wife is nursing
   right now.  I expect this will continue until she stops getting up
   for after-midnight feedings, or when she outgrows the basinet,
   whichever happens first.

   We too are in a situation where the 2 girls will be sharing a room
   eventually.  I'd love to hear from others who have already lived
   through this.

   - Tom
   
438.2POWDML::SATOWMon Oct 22 1990 13:498
Just a comment, that may be totally impractical in your case.  

Remember that a baby doesn't really care where it sleeps.  It doesn't have to 
be in a bedroom.  For convenience and peace of mind, it should probably be on 
the same floor as the parents, but other than that, I don't see any reason why 
a baby couldn't sleep in a walk in closet, a hall, or even a second bathroom.

Clay
438.3My experience...so farLEZAH::MINERhe who laughs - lasts.Mon Oct 22 1990 15:3426
    
    I have 2 of my boys together in a room (4 and 2) and my third son (6
    months) is about to join them (It's a BIG room).  I have delayed this 
    up until now for a few reasons.  First off, a newborn is up pretty often 
    during the night, unless you are unusually blessed.  With the baby 
    separate you have the freedom to turn on a light, change the baby, 
    talk to him/her or even let the baby cry through a wake-up spell and 
    calm down.  If the children are all together this might be difficult to 
    accomplish and may make you edgy just wondering if you are going to have 
    to put 2 children back to bed instead of one.  It does depend on the sleep
    habits of the children involved.  My oldest can sleep through anything
    so putting #2 in with him was uneventful.  My 2nd is an extremely
    light sleeper.  We were never able to have that wonderful parently
    experience of sneaking in and watching him sleep because he would
    always wake up, turn over and stare at us!
    
    And, as .2 said, a baby doesn't need much of a place to sleep for at 
    least the first few months.  Mine slept in a bassinet until he outgrew 
    it (4 months) and now he sleeps on a sheepskin in a playpen in my 
    office/study.  Since he has started sleeping through the night, I
    think it's time we put them all together and see what happens!
    
    Good luck,
    
    Dorothy
    
438.4We went through this, tooCRONIC::ORTHMon Oct 22 1990 22:0927
    
    We have two children's rooms, and Josh (then 3 yrs, 8 mos) slept in one
    and Carrie (then 22 mos) slept in the other when Daniel was born in
    Apr. '89. We had Daniel sleep in a cradle in our study/sewing/catch-all
    room for several months. We were unusually blessed in that he slept
    through at 1.5 weeks (yes, *weeks*), but his hours were still different
    from Josh's (Josh would sleep 8pm - 7 am, Daniel form 11pm to 6 am).
    Josh can sleep through *anything*, but we were still concerned about
    Daniel waking Josh up...until a speck of dust got caught in the chamber
    of our smoke detector right outside the kid's rooms, and blasted for
    what seemed like an eternity , before we determined there was no fire
    and got up there to take out the battery and clean it off. Josh never
    even stirred! I figured it he can sleep through that, a baby crying
    ought to sound like a lullaby! We put Daniel in with Josh at about 4-5 
    mos, if memory serves right, when he began waking up more or less at the
    same time as Josh (he still, at 18 mos., usually wakes up first,
    although they go to bed at the same time).
    I'd try putting the baby in another room until sleep patterns are more
    predictable, and then moving him/her in with the sibling. We never went
    the route of having the baby in our room, because my wife simply cannot
    sleep with a baby in the room...she hears every breath, rustle, sigh,
    etc., and that is not conducive to restful sleep.
    We still aren't sure what we're going to do when baby number 4 arrives
    in June......guess it'll be time to set the cradle up in the study,
    again!
    --dave--
        
438.5Do what's easiest for you...YIELD::BROOKETue Oct 23 1990 13:4923
    I kept my second son in a bassinet in my room until he grew out of it
    at about four months, then moved him into the crib in the first sons
    room (he was 3 at the time).  I was also worried about them waking
    eachother up, but this has not been a problem.  They appear to be able
    to "ignore" the noise when one wakes up, including the so-called night
    terrors!  As it turns out, if one isn't feeling well, or just needs
    some cuddling, he will get into the other's bed rather than come in
    ours. 
    
    When our third was born, we also kept him in out room the first few
    months.  He is now in his own room.  None of them will wake the others
    no matter what noise he makes, except in the morning.  When one gets up
    he goes around to collect the others and they all end up in the baby's
    room (they are now 6,3 and 1).  So I guess that no matter how you
    arrange it, they will still get the rest they need.
    
    My $.02:  Keep the baby with you (explain to the older one(s) that this
    is so THEY won't be disturbed) the first few months to make the
    middle-of-the-night activities as easy as possible.  When the baby is
    ready for the crib, just be sure no one is being "pushed out" of it to
    the new bed.  This would be more of a problem than what room it is in!
    
    Laura Brooke
438.6That's life!HYSTER::DELISLEThu Nov 01 1990 13:1815
    Yup, you're worrying for nothin.  Yup, your son will adjust :*}
    
    Take it easy.  Things will be fine.  Many women sleep through their
    husband's snoring don't they?  Kids are remarkable little critters,
    they adjust to a LOT.
    
    I've got four, they've all slept with each other in various
    combinations, there's not been a serious problem yet.  Sure every once
    in a while my five year old daughter who sleeps with the baby will come
    in complaining the baby is keeping her awake.  I just say OK, lay down
    here with me for awhile until he falls back to sleep.  
    
    But overall we manage and adjust and make concessions and carry
    on.That's life!