Conference moira::parenting_v3

    How old were my kids when they gave up their naps?
    
    Kat was 8 before she didn't have to have a nap when she got home
    from school at least a couple of times a week.
    
    Steven was about 4.
    
    Did they go to bed earlier in the evening once they did?
    
    No.
    
    In fact, Steven stayed up later.
    
    --bonnie

Ronald Reagan never gave up his nap.

         I had Bradford give up his nap a little after three years old
    because he was having trouble sleeping at night.  Then, the next
    morning he was awful to wake up.  Since we stopped doing this, he
    sleeps better at night and only takes a nap when he ASKS for it.
    
    Diane
    

    Kerri, turned 4 in July still takes an afternoon nap.  If she does miss
    this nap, which seems to happen more and more lateley (she goes to 
    nursery school from 12 - 2:30) she is in bed at night by 6:30.
    
    Valerie is 15 months old, and still takes two 2 hour naps.  
    
    Some kids just require more sleep than others..  I would (and will)
    continue with naps until it starts to affect their night time sleep. 
    Ie. they don't sleep as late, or wake up frequently in the night.
    
    By the way, even if their not sleeping there is nothing wrong with
    quiet time in the afternoon.  I know I can use it......
    

    I never thought of trying to manipulate Dan's sleep pattern until
    recently. He started nursery school a couple of weeks ago, which
    is 12:30-3 p.m. three days/week (only available hours at the 
    school we chose - not my ideal, by any means). On school days he
    ends up napping from 3:30-5 or 5:30, then up til 9:30 at night.
    All grown-up time goes down the drain on those nights! 
    
    He's too "up" to nap in the morning on school days...once I kept
    him up after school but he was a total crank and still stayed up
    til 8...sigh. 
    
    This is no family crisis - just thought I'd check what others'
    kids do.
    
    Lucy  

    There is no doubt that needs differ amoung kids, but clearly some stop
    for parental ego-gratification ("my advanced kid!") rather than their
    own changing needs.  Both my pre-schools have expected kids in all age
    groups to nap, one quite firmly, the other a bit flexibly, and this has
    seemed wise.  At 4.5, Eric can get by without napping if need be, but
    he is definitely more prone to grouchiness.  At home (mine, at least),
    he is only required to be quiet in bed, not to fall asleep, but he
    usually does.

    re: .5
    
    Since he needs some sleep, but stays up too late with a full nap,
    maybe you could wake him up after only about 45 minutes?
    
    Since Steven never needed much sleep, one of our constant problems
    during Steven's preschool days was that he was always "causing
    trouble" for the other kids because he didn't need a nap, didn't
    want a nap, and couldn't fall asleep for a nap.  We eventually
    wound up sending in a book or something quiet that he could do in
    the office while the other kids slept. 
    
    --bonnie

    I'd whole-heartedly second the "some need more, some need less" sleep
    idea. Our 5 yr. old, Josh, still naps from about 2-5 every afternoon,
    and I mean out-cold asleep. Carrie, 3.3 yrs, sleeps maybe 1.5 hrs and
    then plays quietly for another 1/2 hour. Daniel, 17 months, sleeps from
    about 10 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. and then again from 2:30 to 4:00. So they
    are all really different. All go to sleep at 8-8:30 p.m. and all wake
    up around 7 a.m. So its the daytime sleep that differs the most. Josh
    can pretty easily get by with no nap, if he is busy and entertained the
    whole time. Carrie gets unbearable by about 5 p.m. without a nap, and
    even 10-15 minutes at that point will take care of her. Daniel can go
    without the morning nap, if kept busy and occupied, but crashes bigtime
    during lunch (head on high chair tray, fist full of peanut butter and
    jelly...very cute!). We keep this all in mind when planning daytime
    activities. We have found that they will go to bed a *little* earlier
    without a nap (1/2 hr to 45 min), but not appreciably. Just seems to be
    they give up naps when they don't need 'em anymore! My wife's mom says
    she used to need to nap after school up to and thru the 4th grade! She
    still requires a lot more sleep than most adults to function reasonably
    well. So....everyone's different!
    --dave--

    AJ still has to have a nap, no matter what we're doing!  At our Canobie
    Park day recently he was functioning by "radar" but still doing the
    rides until we left.  He was asleep before we ever hit rte 93!  This
    week we did the Big E in Springfield, we pulled his stroller out of the
    cellar for the day, he did about a 3/4 hour catnap, and seemed to be in
    a fairly good mood until we left at 8:30 that night. 
    
    At his daycare center everyone is required to at least rest from 1 to
    3pm, I stopped by one day at 2:30 to pick him up early.  Not only was
    she having difficulty waking AJ, but our conversation didn't even
    disturb any of the other sleeping crowd.  The teacher says they simply
    pass out from a busy morning.  I find it a minor miracle getting almost
    two dozen 3 to 5 year olds to sleep at the same time!!  Since we've had
    so much expeience with Umass Medical I can tell you that the whole
    Pedi-floor is required to do "quiet time from 12:30 to 2 daily, no
    matte what your age.  This mother used to look forward to it for her
    own nap time!!
    
    Lyn
    

Transtions (two naps --> one, one nap --> none) are almost guaranteed to be 
tough periods, some days going smoothly, some days going roughly, and taking 
weeks or even months to come close to stabilizing.  I second Bruce's tactic in 
.6.  Insist on a quiet time, perhaps even insist that the child be in bed.
Insisting on their napping may invite a power struggle -- they may stay awake 
just to show you -- whereas allowing them to sleep if they are tired, but not 
insisting if they are not avoids a power struggle, and smooths the transition. 
Some days they are tired and need the nap.  Some days they are not tired and 
don't need the nap.  But ALWAYS they will benefit from a period to relax and 
rest.

Clay