| Freddie,
We have had 2 nannies in the past and the reason we chose a particular
agency was because of the "nanny network". Yes, the monthly meetings
were actually bi-monthly but they did have a softball league, day
trips, etc. Does this nanny get newletters at all? Every month our
nannies got a whole list of all the nannies placed by the agency and
events to look forward to. Even if they don't have monthly meetings,
she should feel like she has an agency behind her. I would suggest
that she call up her agency and ask for the names and phone numbers
of the girls in her area. If they won't give her any, I would get
your brother involved and have him place a call to them. That is one of
the reasons he paid a heavy agency fee!!!! We don't know any 18-22 year
olds willing to make friends and who would have similar things in common
and EXPECTED the agency to live up to their "nanny network".
I would push back on the agency (as both nanny and customer) and if
no names are given, then I would have both express that they are
dissatisfied with the ageny (not each other). It will be up to the
nanny to make the phone calls to meet the girls (the agency isn't a
friend-making service) so the nanny has to want it bad enough. The
nanny couyld even offer to help arrange a monthly meeting - she'd meet
all the girls that way. She could even suggest they have the meeting at
her house.
Andrea
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| Over the past 10 years I have had 19 au paires. Our last (forever and ever) has
just left and I have never been so happy to end an era. We have had very good
experiences and very bad experiences and mediocre experiences. One DECworld
cost me three au paires in as many weeks. I have had Swedish, German, English,
American, Dutch, French, and Finnish girls. They were all over 18 (considered
adults) and most could drive.
The aboslutely most important thing in having live in care, in my opinion, is to
have some one you can live with and like. This is even more important than
how well they look after your kids which is the second most important thing.
Third most important to me is that they were clean. Anothere important thing
that fits in there somewhere is that they are willing.
If you hire an au paire and don't like her, try to change the situation. Talk
the problem over with her IN VERY CLEAR terms. If she doesn't change within
about a two week period, get rid of her. This may sound hard on her, but the
quicker you change things up front, the happier you will be.
Here is what we provided our au paires:
1. A three month French course. If they could already speak French and only
needed practice, we would allow them to substitute a course like skiing or
ceramics in a French speaking club up to the cost of the French course.
2. Their insurance (an absolute MUST), pension, and taxes.
3. A salary of between SF700 and SF900 per month (depending on experience).
This is higher than the average for the area but not exorbitant.
4. An interview trip for a weekend, 2nd class train. We usually interviewed
two or three girls and found it good to have them over the weekend to see
how they really are. It is difficult to keep up a charade for an entire
weekend.
5. Their trip to come work for us and their return trip if they stayed at least
one year (more or less).
6. Their room and board. In general, I provided any food and beverage they
liked. This was maybe a mistake since the last one was a coke drinker and
my boys are not allowed to have it on a regular basis.
7. Work times were from when I left home to when I got back. We could also
ask for two evenings babysitting per week of which one might be a weekend.
Occassionally we both had to travel at the same time in which case she was
alone with the children.
This is what I expected from them:
1. Complete charge of the children and their rooms and the bath and toilette
she shares with them. If she couldn't get the kids to clean their rooms,
she had to do it herself. She was expected to keep their clothes ironed
and mended.
2. Looking after the children during working hours, helping with homework,
doing arts and crafts with them, doing sports with them, transporting them on
rainy days or to activities.
3. Doing all the laundry. I have an additional cleaning lady who irons and
cleans the rest of the house.
4. Preparing their breakfast, lunch, and occassionally dinner. Lunch is their
main meal.
5. Cleaning up after herself.
6. Keeping the refridgerator clean (she uses it most).
7. Keeping the shopping list up to date.
8. The last few also did the grocery shopping since the boys were then in school
all day.
9. Walking the dog.
The last girl was able to do all this in about 2-3 hours a day. She had a real
soft job.
We normally hired German girls for the language. In the beginning, we hired
erzieherinen (kindergarten school teachers) fresh from school who couldn't
get jobs. They were good with young children. As the boys got older and
needed more help with homework, we hired girls who had done their arbitur
(college bound diploma) and could already speak reasonable French.
Occassionally (like the famous DECworld) we had to hire girls on the local
market. That was usually less successful although the worst au paire we had
was the second girl and we had carefully interviewed her. I guess, since the
first was so good, we thought we could do no wrong. The second was irrespon-
sible and a thief. We have had two girls (both 25 yrs old) get pregnant and
one arrive pregnant.
Remember also that when you take a young woman into your home, you are taking
on many of her problems. Ours tended to get homesick. I always prefered (and
I know this is unfair but that's life) the pretty girls because I knew they
would go out and make friends and not mope around the house all the time.
We provided a car only during working hours for "business" reasons. We have
good train service to Geneva.
We found most of our girls through newspaper ads. We usually would get between
20 and 30 replies. We would narrow the field down to around 8 and then call
them all up and interview them over the phone. We would then narrow the
choice down to two with a third as alternate. We would arrange for the two
to come on separate weekends. If neither was a good choice, we would then
interview the alternate. In the end, we got so good at choosing that we usually
only had to have one come.
The longest any one stayed was 18 months. The shortest was 1 week (she could
not control my younger son). Only about three could cook which is why J�rgen
and I always eat at work. Only one could properly clean a toilette.
So far as nationalities go (and here my statistics are VERY low), the American
was very nice but really only a babysitter. She liked putting the kids in
front of the television. The Dutch were the worst for cleanliness. The Swedes
were very cliquey and didn't learn French well. The one English girl I had
was a hospital nurse just needing to fill out a few months. The Germans were
a mixture but in general not terribly well trained in household chores
although very good with the children. They tended to have the most problems
with getting homesick.
When you have a good au paire and small children, it is great. No worries
about going on a trip or coming home a bit late (of course we always gave a
call). There is nothing worse than having a lousy au paire in your home because
you can never get away from her. But after ten years, I wanted my house and
my kids to myself. The privacy aspect, the fact that they don't look after
your things as you'd like, they break things, they wash the whites and reds
together, etc., etc. And when your children get to be the age of mine, they
are often a bad example and poor role model.
If you want any more information, send me mail or give me a call at
DTN 821-4022.
Regards,
Cheryl
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