Conference moira::parenting_v3

    I don't want to put a damper on your efforts but......I was a nailbiter
    until I was 21 yrs old!  All my life my mother scolded me for biting my
    nails and I think I did it all the more, actually it was really a bad
    habit and I sure as heck would'nt want my children to do it, but I
    think I basically was doing it because I was nervous or afraid of
    something.  I bit my nails and cuticles all the time!  My mother even
    tried the nail stuff that is supposed to taste bad, and guess what, I
    liked it!!!  It didn't even phase me.  Then the more she told me not to
    bit them, the more I did it.  The only reason I changed my attitude
    about the whole thing was when I was 21 and my boyfriend at the time,
    told me how gross he thought it was when women bit their nails, and how
    much he adored painted/long nails!!  That did it for me!  From that day
    on I stopped biting them and painted them and I was proud to have
    beautiful nails!!  
    
    Now I look at people who bite them and I cringe!  I could never bite my
    nails again (unless one was to rip or tear and I didn't have a nail
    file handy).
    
    Maybe this will give you some insight on how to handle this situation.
    
    I hope my reply does more GOOD than BAD!  
    
    Mel

    All I can say is "good luck".  My daughter also started this awful
    habit at 3� and is still doing it at 6�.  I've tried EVERYTHING from
    the awful tasting stuff to bribing with something I know she'd really
    love to have.  I've tried talking about it, to totally ignoring it
    and nothing has worked for me.  I've tried the reward system with
    stickers (believe me over 3 years I've tried it all).  I've just
    decided that someday, she too will decide it's disgusting and stop.
    
    My 2� year old niece started a while ago too.  She completely bit her
    'toenail' off.  Her mother would give anything to know the answer.  
    I'll be anxious to hear of any success stories.

    The Berenstein's (author of the Berenstein Bears books) have a book
    that deals exactly with this topic.  The daughter bear is a nail
    biter and they go through the whole scenario of dealing with the
    problem.  The title of the book, I believe, is "The Berenstein Bears
    The Bad Habit".  I've read it to my daughter (also 3 1/2) several
    times.  She is not a nail biter, but has one or two other "bad habits"
    we're working on.  I think the story has helped.
    
    Good luck,
    
    Valerie

    My 17 year old daughter started biting her nails at 3ish...she
    discovered her 'aunt to be' bit her nails (toe and finger) and she
    was so entranced with the idea she started herself. This was inspite
    of my strongly discouraging her from the habit and telling her she
    would find it hard to stop.
    
    She's quit a few times but always seems to go back to it. Her nails
    are quite fragile now and won't grow out very much.
    
    and we have tried just about everything to help/get her to stop.
    
    Bonnie

   Well, I don't have any experience with this first-hand, but I do
   have a comment.  From what I've read and seen about behaviour, I
   believe that Mel (.1) hit it right on the head.  That is, when the
   goal is big enough (in that case, the affections/admiration of a
   boyfriend), anything is possible.  I believe the same is true with
   any bad habit - overeating, smoking, anything, really.  Its hard to
   stop *unless* you want to bad enough.

   Good luck, from the previous replies, it sounds like its going to
   be a bit of a challenge.
   
   - Tom
   

How I laugh when I hear all this.  I was a chronic nail biter
 until my mid teens, when it finally dawned on me that BOYS would probably 
think my hands looked really gross with the nails down to my cuticles 
practically!.  That thought got me to stop almost 15 years ago, and my nails
got to be very long.  

The really funny thing is that now I do a lot of work on the terminal, and am
constantly trimming my nails (with a nail clipper - not my teeth) to prevent 
the click click on the keyboard!

Minda

Oh yes, I tried every trick known to stop the nail-biting.  It finally came 
down to me wanting to stop!

    I still bite my nails when I'm tense or when I don't have clippers
    handy . . . I figure I turned out to be a pretty good person, so
    Kat will probably turn out all right too . . .
    
    --bonnie

    My mother and brother were both nailbiters.
    
    David's case was severe and started when he started school (at about
    5).  I still can't look at his nails without grimacing (he's 23 now).  
    My mother spoke with his pedi and the school pediatrician when he was 
    in about second grade.  They said IGNORE IT.  We all did (it was hard).
    It was clearly stress-related.  In the summer, it stopped.  In the 
    fall, it started again.  Well into his third grade year, my mother
    found out it drove his teacher crazy too.  She (the teacher) was
    making David stand in front of the class, biting his nails, and she
    actually told the class to laugh at him!  I still get SO angry and 
    upset when I think about this.
    
    My own daughter (also 3 1/2) has been biting her nails for about 9 mos.
    Our pedi said it's a coping mechanism and IGNORE IT.  It makes me feel
    guilty, though, that I've introduced too much stress into her life.
    
    T.
    

re: .8

<    Our pedi said it's a coping mechanism and IGNORE IT.  It makes me feel
<    guilty, though, that I've introduced too much stress into her life.

   Be careful of statments like that.  Yes, family life can be
   stressful, and yes, some families are more stressful than others,
   but kids can't avoid stress.  Don't blame yourself for a situation
   that is mostly our of your control.  By all means, change the
   things you can if you feel they are too stressful, but don't forget
   that this is a stressful planet we reside on, and you can't isolate
   kids from outside influences forever.
   
   Peace,

   - Tom