Conference moira::parenting_v3

    Kat used to be terrified of Big Bird.
    
    I never did find out why, but she couldn't watch Sesame Street. 
    She outgrew the fear when she was about 4, I suppose.
    
    How to handle it?  I don't know -- never was something I was
    terribly good at myself.  I suppose that because I have a rather
    vivid imagination myself (hey, you never know what grew under the
    bed while you were out for the day, right?) they sometimes
    convinced *me* that there was a monster in the cupboard.
    
    --bonnie

    
    Went through a little bit of that. Babyminder used the tactic of
    "The Dog will bite you if you go into the hallway" to keep the kids
    from roaming all over the house. A word in her ear and also whenever
    it got mentioned again take him by the hand and walk into the hallway
    and reassure him again and again...it will go away.
    
    One thing I did hear at one time to overcome a similar problem;
    
    Buy a cuddly toy version of the Monster and either through it in
    the bin or burn it when he's watching....."That's him gone etc.."
    
    --John

Well, you might want to buy a stuffed Cookie Monster, but I don't
think burning it is a good idea!  What will the kiddo think the
next time he shows up on TV?  You might be able to help you child
make "friends" with Cookie Monster.  Maybe even bake some cookies
together for him and have your child "feed" him.  Might help him
confront his fear.

    We did go through this with our son at about the same age. We did what
    a previous note suggested and walk around with him and show him that
    there are no cookie monsters. If it happens in the hall, walk up and
    down the hall and show there is no cookie monster. If he is in his
    room, take him out of the crib and allow him to look under  the crib
    and in the closet. If it is outside, take him around the yard and let
    him see the cookie monster is no where. Hopefully, he will begin to
    believe his eyes instead of his imagination. 
    
    His imagination will get even greater as time progresses. Our son, now
    2.5, tells us he has "been to that place" everytime the tv is on. He at
    least tells us he has had a nice time and liked it, no matter where it
    is. 
    
    Keep reassuring him.
    Andrea

    I agree with .3: a cuddly cute Cookie Monster toy that he picks out in
    the store might be great if the problem is with Cookie Monster
    specifically.  
    
    It might be that it has nothing to do with Cookie Monster and that's
    just his name for generic monsters!  
    
    My daughter Kathleen was afraid of the monster on her "Knordob" (got
    it?) and we "had" to cover it with a washcloth every night until the
    clever Easter Bunny brought her a bunny-face doorknob cover.  Then - no
    problem. 
    
    But...any nightmare she has is still about "the monster on my knordob"
    - it's just her standard response for things she can't explain.

    I agree, try to help him overcome this fear.  Buy a smaller version
    of Cookie Monster, have him show you were "he" is and both look
    together only to find out that "he" is not there.  My god, burning
    something to show that it is all gone sounds really bad to me. 
    I would never do that to my kids.  I think that would scare them
    even more.

    I can't add much to the previous replies except to encourage you to
    acknowledge his fear as you help him overcome it. One thing to avoid is
    downplaying or scoffing the fear (not that it sounds like you are).
    
    best of luck,
    

    I think Lynn (.7) is quite right about acknowledging and accepting his
    fear.  The world is pretty mysterious and often scary to a 2 or 3 year
    old, in ways that only time will resolve.  It is a helpful and healthy
    reaction to get the anxiety focussed on a concrete "threat," rather
    than remaining a nameless dread.  In this case it's Cookie Monster; in
    Eric's case it was Alligators; I can't at the moment remember the form
    of Aaron's monster-of-choice (though I remember the sword he kept by
    his bed to fend it off).
    
    Trying to make a kid stop having such a fear - however irrational it
    seems - is no favor.  The fear won't vanish, it will just be driven
    underground, or lose its focus.  The kid learns to cope with fear
    largely through attaching it to something, preferably something s/he
    knows isn't REALLY threatening.  I think a parent should simply be
    soothing, a good long hug with verbal reasurance that things will be OK
    (it can be nearly content free).  Eventually the kid will learn to
    sooth him/her self.
    
    		- Bruce

    I think reference to 148 might give some pointers too!!  
    
    Kids...Ya got to love'em!!
    Lyn
    

    This note has been inactive for some time, but this seems to belong
    here:
    
    Over the weekend we drove up to the Searstown Mall to allow AJ to meet
    some of the Sesamie Street characters.  They were there promoting
    SS-Live which comes to the Centrum soon.
    
    Now I was really surprised by his reaction, but he refused to go near
    any of the critters unless I was physically holding his hand.  He
    became extremely clingy, didn't even want to take a cookie from the
    woman from Cookie's cookin'.
    
    Now he is not ordinarily shy, he didn't even give us a hard time with
    Santa, I'm just trying to figure out was it Cookie monster, Bert&Ernie
    or what.  It was difficult at best capturing this on film, when I
    couldn't get beyond an arm's length away from him.
    
    At what age (he's just turned 5) does this end?  With this in mind do I
    even bother to buy tickets to SS live?  If I remember this show it
    starts out and stays loud in volume, and the characters seem to come
    into the audience on the walkway things.
    
    Lyn

    Lyn,

	While I don't know the answer to your "when" question, I have talked
	with a person who saw SS-Live at Boston Garden - she (my co-worker)
	has a 3 year old and a second-grader (?).  She said that at Boston 
	Garden, the acoustics were TERRIBLE - couldn't understand WHAT the 
	words to the songs were; she also said that for the seats ON THE FLOOR, 
	the characters DID come out to see the kids - so I guess for the
	Centrum, the same would be true.

	I am a little surprised to hear that your son is having this
	reaction at his age.....could it be something else ???

	Debbi J

Somehow just now I was putting myself in AJ's shoes, and realized...

On the show, you see kids with the Sesame Street monsters a lot, and
the kids are about the same size as the monsters (sometimes bigger, I think).
When a kid goes to a mall or a show and meets the monsters, the size of
the monsters is, well...*monsterous*!  I think I would be frightened if
I were a little kid, too.

Perhaps if they had enough advance warning, or if they were far enough away
from the monsters, it wouldn't be bad.

Good luck!

      Carol

    
    I was thinking the same thing that Carol wrote about size in person vs.
    size on TV....
    
    I bet with a little distance (maybe not a floor seat), he'd enjoy it
    alot.
    
    Good Luck.
    
    Chris
    

    I took my 1-1/2 year old granddaughter to SS Live at the Centrum last
    year and she just loved it.  I don't really remember it being too loud.
    We were not on the floor, so the characters didn't come too close to
    us.  The acustics (sp?) were good, and we could hear everything.
    
    This year I am talking her again, and the other one who is now 1-1/2
    years old.
    
    Personally I think the Centrum is much better for show like this than
    Boston is.
    
    Phyllis
    

    Alex always loves SS Live at the Centrum, and after knocking myself out
    trying to get good seats (I've never been able to get floor tix :-(  )
    I realized that Alex thinks any seat in the house is just swell.  They
    don't use the whole Centrum, either; they only use half, with the stage
    at the 50-yard-line :-} facing one end.  There's lots of audience
    participation (vocal and applause), and BTW the "playbill" (can't
    remember its price, though) is very good - lots of follow-the-dots, 
    etc. activities to do during intermission.  Go for it!
    
    Leslie

    
    We've taken our kids the past several years to see SS Live at
    Providence Civic Center.  We started when Kimberly was 2 (she's now 4),
    and although I don't believe that she completely understood what was
    happening, she did enjoy the songs and watching the characters dance.
    Jeffrey was only 1.5 last year, so I don't think he understood what was
    going on, but it did keep him entertained enough so he didn't think
    about getting down and walking around! 8-)  We haven't had seats on the
    floor, so we were never close enough to the characters for the kids to
    be scared.  We plan on taking them again this year (Feb 20-23).
    
    
      John
    

    Steven is approaching 8 and he still can't deal with any kind of
    costumed character -- not Disney, not Sesame Street, not even his
    beloved Ninja Turtles.  He clings and cries and refuses to go near
    them -- has hysterics if you try to take him near. 
    
    Well, I don't know if he'd still have hysterics.  After a couple
    of incidents involving Chip and Dale and Pluto, I learned my
    lesson and quit trying to get him any nearer....
    
    --bonnie

    
    	Hmmm...I've been toying with whether or not to take my
    	19 month old to SS Live at the Centrum this weekend.  After
    	reading these notes, it looks like I'm going to try to make
    	one of the shows with him.  He's got a great attention span,
    	and loves Sesame St.  My only concern is that the floor is sold
    	out for all shows.  I'm just hoping that the lower level will
    	keep his attention.  We'll see!  
    
    	Ellen

    I went to SS LIve last night with my 2 1/2 year old and he loved it.
    We sat on the right side of the stage 4 rows up. I would not recommend
    sitting on the floor parents has to keep lifting thier children to see
    while be on the elevated rows we never had to move.
    
    The show was great and the kids were all dancing everywhere. For the
    show they only use 1/3 for the Centrum, you can see from almost
    any seat.
    
    I would say there were kids from 6 months to 8 or 9 years old and 
    all had a great time.
    

    does anyone know when it will be around again?  By then, Nathan will be
    old enough...
    
    Adrienne
    

    The Sesamie Street Live show is generally once a year, during the same
    time of year.  
    
    Looks like you may be waiting another 12 months to see Big Bird and
    friends.
    
    Lyn