Conference moira::parenting_v3

    It all depends on the child.  They'll probably just prick his finger
    and fill a couple of those long, thin tubes with blood.  But how
    he'll take it will be a mystery until he gets there.  My 10-month
    old yelped when his finger got pricked, but then shut right up.
    My 5-year-old cried for what seemed like years...  
    
    Good luck!

    A few thoughts from my experience..
    
    1. Who is producing the stress - you or the child ? If you can keep
    calm then the child will too.
    
    2. Don't tell the child it won't hurt if it is likely to hurt. Kids
    don't lied being lied to ! Try - it will hurt a bit, but not for
    long.
    
    3. Explain  before hand, and ask the doc / nurses etc to explain
    and show what they do with the samples - children accept this sort
    of thing very easily.
    
    
    4. Explain there will be a small treat immediately after the visit.
    Don't keep on about he will only get the treat if he doesn't make
    a fuss - he will soon realise there is something to make a fuss
    about !
    
    5. If it is to be frequent event then ask him afterwards which bits
    he liked,which bits he didn't. He may well want to go back for some
    silly ( to adults) reason....good comics in the waiting room. Funny
    machine he was shown etc. Then going back is business as usual -
    not a stressful event which requires kicking and screaming.
    
    
    DejW
                                 

    We had to get blood work on my son at 3.  I told him the truth and made
    sure that the nurse told him everything she was going to do.  I held
    him on my lap and held his hand.  He behaved very well and was very
    proud of himself and his bandage!  Your attitude is critical.  If you
    are upset and frightened then the child will be too.
    

    Well.  I don't know what experience the previous replys have had.  But
    mine have not been pleasant.
    
    My son, around 4 at the time, was taken to the hospital for suspected
    appendicitis and had a lot of bllod work done.  It was quite traumatic
    and no amount of explaining or talking or treats or comic books would
    have changed his mind about it.  My attitude was calm, this is
    something that has to be done to make you better.  That didn't help
    iether.  He didn't like it one bit.  He struggled, the needle punctured
    his vein once, went all the way through...  I have to admit it was hard
    on me too.  I cried all the while they weere taking the blood, tho I
    tried not to let him see.  
    
    Of course it depends on the child, that goes without saying.  Yours may
    be fascinated by the goings on.  Mine wasn't.  It's not an experience
    I'd care to repeat.
    

    In my opinion it should be easier with a 3 year old, because you can
    talk with them about it, before and after.  This takes some of the
    mystery and fright out of the situation, they'll know what to expect.
    (for instance, a little pin prick)
    
    My 1 year old had to go for blood two times in the last 2 months, and 
    you just can't prepare a 1 year old well at all!  I was calm but he was
    very upset at having to be restrained (never liked being held much
    anyway so this really p*ssed him off).  The prick was a little shock to 
    him but he was more upset (I think) at this person squeezing his finger
    and me having to "try" to contain him.  He was just fine afterwards
    though.  The minute we walked through the door to the reception area it 
    was like he never even had it done.
    
    I'd like to build on this, just a couple  questions:  
    Have any of you had this situation.  My son is slightly anemic. 
    According to his doctor it's not all that uncommon and it's not
    anything that we should worry about.  He started on iron drops after we
    got the results back from the first test.  On his second blood test it 
    showed no improvement.  So his doctor again, said, it's only slight, 
    don't worry.  Just double his dosage, and come back in one month for
    another blood test.  My question is, what do they do if there is still no
    improvement?  He's only slightly anemic, but do they have any kind of 
    procedure or what that they follow to bring it up? Or do they just
    check periodically to see if that's his "normal" state?
    
    Any input is appreciated.
    
    Nancy
      
    out!  They're pretty resilient.

	They will be taking the blood from a vein....He's had
	the finger prick blood work done before, and that was
	no big deal.   When they take it from the vein the
	child needs to be held/restrained somehow.. (Last
	time 3 nurses where holding him down - 1 at legs, 1 hold
	body + arm, 1 at head (and he was only 9 months).  Not
	a fun experience.

	The idea of a treat/ and having the 
the dr/nurse explain
	what will be happening is great...

	/robin

    Robin,
    
    oh, that kind of blood test!  Do you have or could you make up a game
    before hand (so he's familiar with it when you go the the doctor) that
    makes him work real hard to use his imagination.  For instance, a game
    where he's got to shut his eyes real tight to conjure up some idea or 
    image?  Like make him describe something- outloud- that's very, very 
    detailed (what he sees with his eyes closed) like a tiger or the inside
    of his toy box or even the waiting room (that way he'll be
    concentrating on what he sees around him real hard rather than
    concentrating on what's going to happen to him in the room).  Tell him if 
    he does a very good job of describing it you'll take him for an ice cream 
    cone after the visit (or give him fill-in-the-blank).
    
    I don't have a 3 year old, but the imagination can probably come in
    very handy in these times.
    
    Good Luck!
    
    Nancy
    
    

    When Kat needed things medical, it always worked better if she had
    her father with her rather than me.  He's calmer than I am about
    medical procedures and such, as long as they're not for him, and
    so he didn't have as much tension for her to pick up on.
    
    And if you are tense and upset about it, they'll figure that out,
    no matter how much you think you're hiding your tears and fears. 
    You have to really be able to stay calm.
    
    --bonnie

When I was 3-4 I had to have poison ivy shots several times during the
summer.  They definitely weren't pleasant.  My mother explained
what they were for and I agreed that I'd rather have the shots
than the poision ivy.  For the first time,  my mother took me out for
ice cream afterwards.  But the next time, she couldn't get me out of
the car because I was holding on to the seat.  So, after that she would
get me the ice cream first so I could lick it while I was getting the
shot.  That seemed to make it bearable.

-Amy

    .5
    
    Nancy,
    
    My son was tested for anemia during his 1-year-old physical.
    The doctor would test Evan's blood count (finger prick) when
    we happened to be in the office for another ailment (ear infection).
    At Evan's two-year-old physical, his iron level was within range
    and was taken off the iron drops.
    
    
    I have a question related to this topic that I hope someone can
    help me with.  My son (2) is scheduled to see an allergist for
    problems with eczema.  My question is:  Will he undergo the
    'typical' allergy test (typical meaning lots of pricks on
    the back and/or upper arms) at his age?  I'm expected the
    worst.
    
    Ann  

    We hav eone of those children who overreacts to EVERY situation...if
    its food its "absolutely fantastic!!!!!!!!", and if its bad its
    "absolutely horrible!!!!!!!". Now, my wife is super low key about
    medical procedures (being in a medical profession prior to becoming a
    full time mom), and is very honest with the kids about degree of
    discomfort, carefully using terms they will understand and relate to
    (the needle prick will hurt less than a scraped knee, but sometimes the
    medicine stings goin in...but its all over very quickly") Yet, they had
    to put him,at age 3, in a "papoose wrap" (sort of like a strapped down
    straigh jacket for kids) just to clean a cut on his cheek...we won't
    even go into what they had to do to numb it and stitch it! For the shot
    he got at 4 years old, it took 4 people to hold him and one to give the
    shot. He is a large-for-his-age child, and very strong. He screamed
    (shrieked, hollered, wailed, etc.) throughout. This began upon entering
    the room, and continued till long after it was over. I can only say....
    do not be afraid or ashamed to ask for more help in holding him as
    still as possible. yes, its is traumatic, but its worse if they hurt
    him with the needle. It is no reflection on you as a mom if he is an
    "overreactor", especially if you've taken care to prepare him, love
    him, keep yourself calm, etc.  A treat, regardless of his reaction,
    might be appropriate. Lots of hugs and love before, during and after
    are absolutely appropriate. And you can never tell....in a year,
    amonth, or whatever....his reaction could be entirely different!
    good luck....give him hugs for us, too! Its no fun even for grown-ups!
     --dave--

    
    
    Ann, I may be wrong, but when I was tested for an alergy,
    they had a case full of different tubes with different elements, I was
    tested for a couple things, but it was as easy as putting a droplet of
    liquid (I guess they were liquidized forms of different things like
    pollan, etc) on my forearm and watching for generalized sensitivity. 
    
    I don't know if it's the same procedure for kids, but is sounds a whole
    lot less painful than giving them a series of shots!
    
    (BTW, was Evan anemic between the ages of 1 & 2? and then he just
    balanced out naturally at age 2?)
    
    Nancy
    

    .12
    
    Nancy:
    
    Yes, Evan was anemic starting and age 1 and ended at age 2.
    
    Thanks for your reply on the allergy test.  I hope Evan's 
    test is that simple. 
    
    Ann 
    
      

    
    re:.11
    
    My son Joshua had to go for Allergy tests at 15 months and it 
    wasn't a pleasant situation.
    
    In our experience, the first thing that was done was the nurse
    made rows of numbers on his back. They will ask specific questions
    as to what your child may be exposed to (pets ,fabrics, trees etc..)
    Then the nurse put samples of different substances on his back lining
    up with the numbers.
    
    Here comes the hard part, my husband held my son so that his arms 
    were around his shoulders and that his legs were around his waist.
    I stood behind my husband so that Joshua could see me and I could
    reassure him that everthing was going to be alright.  The nurse
    took little pins and scrapped each drop that she had put on his
    back.  The farther down the back the more it bothered him.
    
    After the nurse was done we couldn't let Joshua move for about 15 
    minutes so the drops wouldn't run in to each other.  The doctor
    comes in and take a look at the results to see if anything swelled
    up.
    
    I don't mean to upset you but you asked what to expect and I wouldn't
    want to lead you to believe that this test is something that it is not,
    I hope for the sake of your child and yourself that the test you have
    done is more like reply .12.
    
    Good luck
    Tina

    The offices have body boards that can hold the child down If
    what they are doing is going to be painful and requires that he
    be still for it to be safely done. I have a very bad back and
    know that I could not possible hold my youngest child as still
    as required for longer than the 30 to 40 secs it takes to give
    an imunation. I would request the use of this board so I could
    carress his face and talk to him while someone else worried about
    keeping his arm or leg still for longer that the time required to
    give a shot. I know it takes 2 to 3 minutes sometimes to get the
    amount of blood required. 
    
    I hate needles and have told nurses that they can give the shot while
    I am in the hall. I have gotten over that with each child I have gotten
    better at recieving and watching my children recieve shots.
    
    janet

    My son Alex just had the allergy tests done, called the RAST tests,
    they drew 2 viles of blood and he was actually pretty good.  Putting
    the band on his arm was the worst part.  This is Alex's second time,
    first time a 1 yr old with a prick test on the finger (took four of u
    to hold him down) this time (at 3 yrs 4 months) it was just mommie.
    
    He actually thanked the nurse who drew the blood and she gave him a
    nice big smily sticker and that was all!!! I also was a lot calmer this 
    time around than when he was only a year old. I really think that makes 
    a difference. \
    
    Alex came home and showed everybody in the neighborhood his bandaid and
    told everybody how brave he was and how his mommie was proud of him!!!

    	Just another idea.  Kids like to hear about when mommy or daddy
    	"was little just like you".  If I had to face the situation
    	of one of my kids getting an IV blood test, I might tell a
    	story like the following:
    
    	"When I was about 5, I had to get a blood test.  I was really
    	scared.  My mommy told me not to look, because then I might
    	get even more scared, so I just held her hand and scrunched
    	my eyes (scrunch your eyes and squeeze their hand).  I felt the
    	needle, but it didn't hurt as much as I thought it was going to.
    	It felt like stepping on a pebble, and only for a second.  Then
    	I didn't feel anything anymore.  They kept the needle in my
    	arm for a little while, but that part didn't hurt.  They used the
    	needle to  let a little bit of blood come out into a little
    	jar.  When they were done, they took out the needle, and I didn't
    	even feel that.  Then they put a bandaid on, and gave me a little
    	present.  I don't remember what the present was, but it was either
    	a sticker or a lollipop."  Then you promise them that if the doctor
    	doesn't give them anything, then you will.
    
    	Inevitably they will ask if you cried.  Be honest.  For me I will
    	say that I thought I was going to, but in the end I never really
    	had to.
    
    	And then the topper of it all will be when I tell them: "Even
    	today I don't like to give blood.  I still don't like to look
    	because I don't feel good when I watch it.  Yes, it hurts a 
    	little when they stick the needle in, but that is all.  It is 
    	scary to start, but once it is done you feel real good because
    	you were brave and it doesn't hurt that much after all."
    
    	Hearing that their big, strong daddy can be scared by it too, might
    	help them feel important if they don't feel all that scared.  At
    	least they know it is OK to feel scared.
    
    	Joe Oppelt

    re .17   what a wonderful idea...it's priceless!
    

    re .17
    
    Joe, that's a really thoughtful, caring approach to use for a child.  
    (btw, I also liked the puppy idea in another recent note).
    
    You should pipe up more often!!
    
    Nancy

    
    After years of allergy shots, the one thing I don't recommend is 
    scrunching the hand or making a fist.  It's easier for the needle
    to go in if the arm is relaxed.  It doesn't hurt as much.
    
    I had to get blood work done when I was 3,4 and 5.  I remember the
    nurse telling me to look the other way and describe the worst
    monster I could think of.  My mother was in the room.  The nurse
    was prepping my arm the whole time.  Then, she told me to take a
    deep breath and blow out.  As I was blowing out, she stuck the needle
    in.  Getting the needle in is always the hardest part for me.
    Then, the nurse kept asking about the monster,  What color was it,
    how Big, how many teeth, etc...The whole time, she was drawing the
    blood.  
    
    Once you learn to relax, needles aren't a big problem.  I find
    it easier not to look.

    This may not be equal consolation for everyone, but I've found that
    every other procedure we've had to go through was pretty easy to take
    after circumcision.
    
    Along the lines of .17 (J_OPPELT), I've found two other things helpful,
    as well.  One is sometimes taking them along when I go to the dentist or
    doctor; I think they find it helpful (to a point) to realize that
    grownups have to cope with messy procedures, anxiety, and discomfort,
    too.  The other is discussing what other kids at the doctors' are
    experiencing and feeling.  Talking about why that kid in the exam room
    or lab might be screaming bloody murder, and seeing them emerge
    unscathed shortly after, helps my kids with their own feelings.  Of
    course, this won't help with a pre-verbal child, either, but they
    won't magnify the actual experience as much with the power of
    imagination, at least unless a contagiously anxious parent prevokes it.
    
    		- Bruce

    I seem to be able to relate very closely with this note.  AJ is 3-1/2
    and went for his yearly physical last week.  As part of this a lead
    screening and cholesterol test needed to be done, which required a
    finger stick blood test.  The nurse very patiently explained that she
    would "pinch" his finger and fill two tiny tubes, but only the first
    part would hurt not the tubes.  He really surprised me, he flipped out as 
    the nurse was putting on the rubber gloves.  He cried a little, but
    there was no physical fight.   A little background, this is
    the child who has been in and out of the hospital since birth, has had
    umpteen operations and hospitalizations before his second birthday, and
    even had to have several surgeries postponed because all his veins were
    either too scared or colapsed. After the actual test he got lots of
    hugs, and a Ninja turtle bandaid, which he proudly displayed to anyone
    her could find, and even talked more about the bandaid than the hurt of
    the test.  The pedi's office keeps these bandaids seperate just for
    "special requests". (they also have Mickey Mouse bandaids, but they're
    not as special)  We also took a stroll through Toys R Us (very
    close to the pedi's office) and picked up a couple small toys, but I
    hadn't told him about that prize before, just in case we ran short of
    time, it also made a pleasant unexpected surpise.  He also displayed
    the stickers from the doctor's office proudly on his daycare lunchbox.
    I try to stay away from food rewards, it's fewer calories!
    I too try very hard to keep my inner turmoil supressed, and if it gets
    too traumatic to watch I leave the room, and reenter as the "Hero"
    after the procedure is over. He's had two spinal taps in his lifetime,
    and I *absolutely* flipped out and had go completely out of earshot for
    those! (one was at 18 days, the other at 3 months, guess the discomfort of 
    my epidural was too fresh)
    
    I find that he reacts stronger, as he gets older, when he's been away from 
    his doctors for a while, than if he sees his various doctors over a shorter 
    period. That's why I try to schedule his routine specialists' appointments
    within a week or two's timeframe.  What also surprised me was his first
    dentist appt was a huge disaster, took three of us to hold him in the
    chair, and nightmares for week afterwards. I'm not looking forward to
    the second routine dental exam next week, but have already started
    talking to him about how the dentist will "tickle" his teeth.  He seems
    more receptive this time.
    
    But try to remember, no matter how traumatic these memories fade
    quickly and are replaced by pleasant loving ones!
    
    Good luck!
    Lyn
    
    

    I realize that this note comes late, but I just had to bring my son in
    for blood work this past week.  They were going to take blood from a 
    vein in his neck!!! At least that's what the doctor thought the lab
    would do.  BTW, Andrew is 15 mos. old.  But they took it from the vein
    in the crook of his arm.  They were very good to him (even thought he 
    screamed the WHOLE time).  I had the male technician hold Andrew
    because he was too wiggly for me.  It went very well.  (He cried as
    much for this as he did for the finger prick tests he's had to have
    done in the past).  He basically didn't like these strangers holding
    him.  He just sat on the lap of the technician and another technician
    stood in front of both of them and drew the blood.  I stroked Andrews
    face and let him know I was with him at all times.  
    
    The anticipation of this event was much worse than the actual event
    itself.  Now the anticipation of what they will find from the blood
    test is becoming an ordeal.  Hopefully we'll know in a few days.
    
    Nancy
    

	We'll he got the blood work done.  I was "all in a spin"
	over nothing.  He stuck his arm out, watched them stick
	the needle in, and take 3 vials of blood, then took his
	lollipop.  

	No yelling/squirming/fussing.   No Big deal, piece of
	cake.

	I was really relived!!

	/robin