Conference moira::parenting_v3

    Oooooh boy, Can I relate to this!!!!!
    Yeah, we've gone through tis with our oldest two. Here is what we
    finally settled on: A child sized portion (ie. 3-4 little chunks of
    meat, a spoonful of potatoes, and a bite or two of vegies) is presented
    with no great pomp and circumstance. We do not require they eat it, but
    they must stay at the table till we are all done eating. Then their
    plate and whatever is left on it goes away for good. They can have
    nothing (this is important) until the next scheduled meal or snack
    (only if you would usually give a snack), except water to drink. Be
    prepared for crying, and pleas for something they like. Understand that
    giving in just once, makes it increasingly difficult to be firm after
    that. We do not give foods at mealtime that we know for certain they
    really don't like, or very spicy foods.
    the method before this that we used was the
    "you-have-to-try-one-bite-of-everything". It didn't work at all. They
    cried, we got upset....not a pretty sight. We found that after we told
    them they didn't HAVE to eat it, that they, amazingly enough, began to
    eat. They will not starve themselves, and won't die by going to bed
    without supper. Make it clear it is HIS choice to eat or not, and make
    sure he understands what "no more to eat until the next meal"
    means...at 2� he is old enough to understand that.
    Good luck....aren't kids great?!?!?!?!?!?!?
    
    --dave--

Kathryne's diet consists of:

Frozen chicken nuggets right out of the freezer (they're pre-cooked)
Hot dogs (she does let me cook them)
Spaghettio's (I can't stand the look or smell)
Macaroni and cheese
Spaghetti
Chicken
Tortellini

I do give her whatever we have, but don't make a big deal of it.  She
also goes for weeks on one of the above.  She does like fruit juice
so drinks lots of OJ or apple juice.  She does eat all of her lunch
at daycare and that includes veggies.  For a while she also liked
the ramen noodles, I just haven't tried any for a while.

    Anne,
    
    My son, who will be 2 next week, went through this stage too.
    For a while, all he wants to eat is cookies.  What I did was
    let him skip the meal if he doesn't want to eat, but don't
    offer him anything until next mealtime.  I also skip the snacks.
    All he can have is fresh fruits, juice and water.  There are days
    that he had an apple for lunch then another apple for dinner and
    nothing else.  After a while, he learned.  Now he always finishes
    his plate.  And since he is doing well, I will give him snacks.
    The trick is YOU MUST BE FIRM.  Don't give in.  
    
    Wendy

    .0 > I am pregnant with the 2nd one and am too tired at night to be
    .0 > imaginative, if you can understand!!
    
    Well, I don't understand why your being tired keeps your spouse from
    deciding what to cook . . .
    
    Since they learned to chew, my kids have always shared whatever food
    the big people were having; their tastes are factored in when setting
    the menu, of course.  It wouldn't occur to them to ask for french fries
    (if eating at home).  They pretty much choose their own quantities, and
    this is rarely a problem area.  They've never skipped a meal that I can
    remember, but I have a niece who once went 3 years on a half a peanut
    and jelly sandwich, so I'm used to the phenomenon; she thrived.
    
    		- Bruce

    We let our kids skip meals if they really aren't hungry, and I was
    never too strict about making them wait for the next meal, either. 
    The only rule I had, if you could call it a rule, is to make sure
    they didn't get sweets and such after they didn't eat a scheduled
    meal.  If they want a snack, it has to be whole-wheat bread, a
    slice of cheese, a sliced-up apple, juice, something like that. 
    
    I try to take their tastes into account in planning the menu, but
    if I fix something that somebody absolutely can't stand to eat,
    they're free to fix themselves an alternative meal.  Rules on that
    are that they have to do all the work, it has to meet my
    nutritional standards, and it can't use up any food destined for
    other meals.  So it boils down to, "You don't like what I cook? 
    Fine, you can have a peanut butter sandwich. If you make it
    yourself."
    
    --bonnie

To .2: Are we, like, time-sharing the same child, or what?  I've noticed for
some time that Kathryne and Kathleen are going through the same things at the
same time, but this list clinches it!  ( I once had a cat that was "living in"
two homes and getting two full feedings - is it happening again? )

About living on limited food choices:  I know a boy who dropped one food after
another until he got down to:
		Peanut butter and jelly
		Cottage Cheese
		Fruit
That's all he's eaten for about 5 years.  His mother's complaint is that it's
not fun to take the family out to eat anywhere!

    I'm glad this subject came up; I was just thinking about Drew's diet.
    
    He's going to be 1 year old in August. He began eating solids when he
    started getting teeth in.  (We still give him about 3-4 bottles a day 
    - juice and milk.)  He's got 6 teeth so he can chew alot of things.  
    
    He eats things like, mac and cheese, spagetti, beechnut stage 3 food
    (occassionally), vegetables mixed in spagettios, toast, jello,
    hotdogs, rice cakes, grilled cheese sandwiches, yogurt.
    
    My question is, what else should I give him that will make up a
    well-balance diet?  I think he gets enough veggies, bread, not much
    meat at all (I don't have a meat grinder, but I could use the food
    processor).  What foods can a someone 1 year old eat that fills the
    vitamins, iron, calcium, etc requirements?
    
    He's healthy, but I want to make sure I'm not skipping something
    important.    
    
    Any input?
    
    Thanks
    
    Nancy
                                                                
    
    	

    re.0
    
    I have a stubborn kid, she'd rather starve than eat something
    she didn't "think" she would like! So, I gave her some options,
    like peanut butter sandwich, french toast (pretty simple to
    make and nutritious), yogurt, cheese and crackers, whole grain
    waffles, corn muffins, or even just some fresh fruit and nuts. 
    I don't like kids stuff like hot dogs and spaghettios, since 
    they are too highly processed and salty. Once in a blue moon, 
    I get those things for her to make her feel like a "real" kid!!!! 
    
    It is a phase that kids go through. My daughter will be 5 in a couple
    of weeks and recently, she has been eating what we eat (fish, meat,
    poultry, salad, pasta and all) Pretty amazing!!!!
    
    Hang in there.
    
    Eva.

    I think they go through phases, and things like hot weather also factor
    in to what they will eat, and quantity.
    
    My attitude is that if Ryan skips a meal, or doesn't eat a food type
    very often (e.g. vegetables) he'll make it up on something else.
    
    Lately Ryan has been existing on Ritz bits with peanut butter, with a
    handful of blueberries thrown in!
    
    

    We try hard to get our kids to eat something off their dinner plates
    each night.  Last night I got the usual "I hate ..." from my 3 year old
    and then she asked for applesauce or fruit for dinner.  So I told her
    that she had to eat 2 of everything and then she could have some
    blueberries (a current love) and she did! (even though she required
    A1 Sauce for her fish Yuuch!)  This may be the start of a trend!

    My comment is Thank Heavens AJ is not a finiky eater, loves every
    veggie we've ever given him, can be reasoned with, and even bluffed!!
    
    As for .7, when AJ was about that age I would buy ground turkey and put
    it in the microwave a couple minutes (like a hamburg patty) and either
    add some frozen mixed veggies, or the Budget gourmet brand side dishes;
    potatoes with broccoli and a cheese, pasta and veggies etc and whirl
    them briefly in the food processor together or individually till they
    were chopped enough for a one year-older.  His favorite "desert" was
    and still is the Chiquita bananas baby food, he calls it banana
    pudding, which is next in line to a container of swiss style yogurt.
    (you should see the looks I get checking out of the market each week
    with 4 jars of infant bananas!)  
    
    He too loves french fries, and frequently requests macaroni and cheese,
    fortunately we can reason with him and simply tell him we don't have
    any (even if we really do) and he'll just have to have [such and such...] 
    he usually agrees.  His favorite soup is cream of broccoli,his favorite
    veggie too, and he only tolerates the spagettio canned products if he
    has to.
     
    Of course there's always McDonald's $1.99 Happy meal promotion if
    you're too tired tonite!!
    
    Good luck, it does get better
    Lyn
    

    Hello,
    
    I'm having problems with my daughter (2.4) eating properly. Such
    a common problem, I know, but I'm going to ask for help anyway!
    When she was younger, I could grind up whatever we were having
    for supper and she just ate it. Now she only wants to eat stuff
    like pizza, hot dogs, or chicken nuggets. If she even sees something
    is a "funny" color, like green or orange, she's on VEGETABLE ALERT
    and won't even touch it. So, should I think she will eventually
    eat something good for her? I mean, will she be 30 and still refuse
    carrots? 
    
    I've received the suggestion of serving her what we're having plus
    one thing she might eat, and offer nothing else, no matter what. 
    I tried that last night, and she refused to eat a thing. (I cleverly
    put slivers of carrots in the chicken pie, but she spotted it. Still,
    even things like chicken pie she refuses, 'cause it looks like real
    adult food.) Is this the right approach? 
    
    Any suggestions? Comments?
    
    Thanks,
    
    Elizabeth

    Check out the streams of other notes on this - it is a common
    problem!   If you are really concerned about her nutritional
    intake, check with your pedi about her diet and whether she
    should have vitamens.   Also, if she likes spaghetti, cooked
    veggies puree quite nicely and slide right into the sauce
    without changing the color or the taste!  (My family still
    hasn't figured out I do this with leftover veggies - and my
    daughter is now 19!)  
    
    The other thing to remember is, that this is a phase that
    shall pass, eventually. Just hang in there.
    
    Val

    
    I have made a conscious decision not to fight over food with my
    soon-to-be two-year-old.   What I do is provide a variety of food
    (usually four things) at each meal.  He is normally offered small
    servings of meat, pasta or rice, veggie, and fruit; the same as
    we're eating with perhaps one extra thing that we are not.  Our
    menu is planned somewhat around his tastes (i.e. we never used to
    have chicken nuggets or hot dogs as our entree, we eat mac+cheese
    once a week now as our starch)
    
    Often times, he only eats one thing; but he does find something he 
    likes at every meal and will eat it.   I try not to sweat the 
    "balanced diet" because I think over the course of a week or two, 
    he gets enough food from each of the food groups.
    
    On the whole, Jason is not overly thrilled with vegetables either but
    will eat french fries, baked beans, cooked carrots (I make them with 
    a bit of brown sugar just like Grandma), green beans  (esp. if he picked 
    them "myself" from the garden), summer squash (because Gopher eats
    it on Winnie the Pooh), corn-on-the-cob, and my secret weapon, zucchini 
    bread (he'd eat it morning, noon, and night!)    I've also had occasional 
    luck with frozen peas served without cooking; just thawed. 
    
    I think part of the battle is to serve healthy foods that seem 
    fun to kids.  For example, Mike will make him a special pancake
    shaped like a bunny rabbit or Mickey mouse.   Or, we allow him
    to spread cream cheese with an hors d'oeuvre knife on his 
    zucchini bread.
    
    As a final comment, I've read that this is just a phase and that
    by age three, most children will eat well from the table; if not
    eat you out of house and home.
    
    Good luck,
    Carol

    Surprising as it seems, a lot of kids who won't touch other
    vegetables will wolf down broccoli, either raw or steamed. 
    Cauliflower is another favorite because it's not orange or green. 
    Yellow or red pepper strips and mushrooms also sometimes work for
    the same reason.  
    
    Don't overlook the wide variety of grains besides rice that can
    accompany a meal -- cracked wheat is one of our favorites, as are
    lentils, dried beans, barley, and so on.  
    
    Often a child who won't eat cooked vegetables will eat them raw,
    and vice versa.  Try both ways.  
    
    David won't eat meat.  Fortunately that's an easy one to deal
    with.
    
    --bonnie

Re: -.1  The broccoli amde me think of something that I just found out this
weekend.  Seems my mother had an interesting way to get us to eat/try new veggies
and other foods.

She would not give us any of X (say green beans) on purpose, but made sure we
were sitting at the table when she dished them out.  When I'd ask how come I 
didn't get any she say "They're only for adults.  I'm sure you wouldn't like
them"  I would beg and beg and beg for some, so she would "give in" and say 
"Well okay, but I'll just give you a little  because I'm sure you won't like 
them!"  This is how she got me to eat almost anything.

Turns out I liked everything she "wouldn't let me have".  

I'm going to have to remember this trick for when Megan get older!

W-

    Now that's a good trick.
    
    My daughter reminded me that she would always eat French-cut green
    beans (the slivered kind) but wouldn't touch the regular cut ones.
    
    --bonnie

    I think one reason broccoli goes over so well is that it looks like
    little trees... I know you can fool some of the toddlers some of the
    time with carrot *cubes* but not carrot "coins", or vice versa.  As if 
    we have nothing to do with our time besides cutting out artful and 
    entertaining veggie shapes...)
    
    Leslie

    My 14 month old son has suddenly gotten very picky about what't he'll
    eat, especially when it comes to veggies.  I try every way I can think
    of to prepare them and many different varieties but he won't eat them.
    I know his tastes are changing and I would NEVER force him to eat some
    thing he doesn't want to eat, so can anyone out there give me some
    suggestions?  I guess I'm afraid he's not getting enough vitamins..
    He does eat lots of fruits and potatoes, chicken, fish and beef, maybe
    I'm worrying too much.
    
    
    
                                                  Kim
    
    
    

   Well, one thing the pedi told my wife about our kids was that over
   time (ie, over the course of a few days or even a week), they will
   eventually balance out.  So far that has proven true - they will go
   for several days eating lots of meats of different sorts (hot dogs,
   chicken, etc), then switch and eat almost strictly veggies for a
   little bit.

>>   suggestions?  I guess I'm afraid he's not getting enough vitamins.

   This is strictly my personal opinion here, but unless you grow and
   process your own veggies, I feel there's a decent chance they
   aren't as nutritious as everybody believes.
   
   Peace,
   
   - Tom

    IMO, it's all in how far you want to go with this.  If you go out of
    your way to convince the kids that "this is deeelicious!" maybe it will
    work for you, it did for us.  My 4 year old nephew, unknown to me,
    doesn't eat crust.  Last summer he had a fit when I had taken he, his
    sister and my son to the lake for the day, the picnic sandwiches had
    the crust on.  I made this big deal about how the Ninja Turtles eat all
    their pizza crust, so they have strong teeth, and wouldn't he like to
    be as strong as a Turtle?  Well as it turns out, he now eats all the
    crust, his mother was amazed!
    
    Although AJ eats just about anything you put in front of him, he still
    refuses steak, but that's no big deal since he still eats beef in
    general.  We used to make a big deal from the time he was being fed in
    the high chair about oh yummy, mmmmm-good and so on, and of course I
    guess we were able to convince him it was the best tasting thing in the
    world.  But I realize he's probably the exception to the rule, he loves
    everything from broccoli, beets, green beans, peas are his favorite.
    
    In another note, someone suggested you try the opposite approach, "this
    veggie is for Grownups only, but I'll let you *try* some", and see if that
    works.  I'll repeat some advise, no child has ever starved to death, so
    just go with it,unless you see a problem!
    
    Lyn

    Well, this advice is very old, and probably well out of date, but... 
    My mother was told that if the kids are eating fruit, don't worry too
    much about the vegetables.  Just make sure you keep offering it so that
    when their taste does change you will know it.
    
    I myself love vegetables.  I've never had any trouble getting my kids
    to eat vegetables.  Maybe the two facts are related.  Maybe not.  They
    tend to favor canned vegetables.  I favor frozen or fresh.  My husband
    tends to put cheese sauce on vegetables.  The kids used to love this,
    but now they seem tired of it.  They also like raw vetetables with a
    thick salad dressing as a dip.

    Just thought I'd throw this in for a thought, (prompted by .22 the
    cheese sauce on veggies)
    
    I picked up two little containers, free samples, of Cheez Whiz in the
    produce section of Shaw's.  Seems the "gimmick" is you get a sample of
    the thing, with the purchase of fresh broccoli or cauliflower.  I
    grabbed two, and they didn't seem to care how may you took.  I guess if
    it works to get them to eat the veggie, who cares what's on top of it!
    
    Lyn

    My 14 month old is (I hope) going through the "living on air" phase. 
    He won't eat most of the things that he would woof down a week or two
    ago.  I've tried to get him to eat bagels, cream cheese, peanut butter
    on toast, sanwich meat....and all of it wound up on the floor, or
    smooshed in his hair.  He used to love bananas, grilled cheese, french
    toast, but they all seem to have fallen out of favor.  He now lives on
    milk, juice, pasta (sometimes with veggies), yogurt, and Ritz peanut 
    butter bits, and apples.  
    
    My main problem is what can I send for lunch to daycare?  I usually
    send an apple, yogurt (snack), and something for lunch.  He won't eat
    grilled chesse for them, and I don't always have time to make him pasta
    before I bring him in.  I know he would eat a fair number of Ritz
    peanut bits as a good sized lunch, but I wonder what the daycare center
    would think......and I'm running out of things to try!  He'd eat the
    stage 3 baby food if I sent it, but I really want to get away from that
    "slop".  
    
    BTW: Russell used to eat anything & everything.....It will get better,
    won't it??????
    
    marianne

re: .21 and crust

Now if that would only work with my wife...

Bob - who won't eat any veggies

If you have confidence in Berry Brazelton, here's what he says about 
toddler nutrition:

A toddler needs four things daily:

a pint of milk
an ounce of orange juice
a tiny bit of meat
a  multivitamin to "cover the vegetables"

He says if your toddler is getting that, then don't worry about nutrition.

Steve

    My kids are now 8 & 9, so they survived their 'fasting' periods.
    Some observations:
    	At times their appetite would be voracious and indiscriminate.
    	Next would be complaints of pains in knees and other joints,
    	especially after active play.  Suddenly we would notice they
    	were taller!  Then there would be a period of weeks when they
    	hardly ate at all.  These growth spurts seem to have abated
    	for now, but i can remember similar things myself.
    Some tricks:
    	When Daddy has to feed the little terrorists, i don't call them
    	to the table.  I cook up something that smells good, then sit
    	down next to them and eat, without offering any.  Their lil'
    	tummies grumble and they demand to be fed.  I get out of the way!
    
    		mwr

    My daughter is getting increasingly fussy about what she eats too.  I
    also make her lunch everyday.  
    
    Here's my list of stuff I give her for lunch:
    
    Eggplant parmigana cut into pieces
    Pasta, stuffed shells, lasagna
    Cottage Cheese
    Yogurt
    Applesauce
    Squash (she seems to prefer this heated)
    Home-fried potatoes
    Grapes (peeled and cut in half)
    Melon pieces
    Banana
    Canned peaches (sliced, in a fruit juice)
    Canned pears   (ditto)
    Toast, cut into quarters
    Crackers in a cup
    Pudding 
    Jello with pineapple in it
    
    I try to give her four items each day.  That way, she at least eats
    something!  Plus, a lot of times she'll snack on some of it on the way
    home, so at least it is a healthy snack.
    
    I think I'll print this out for those nights when I just can't think of
    what to pack!
    
    judy

    My goodness!! my lunch list at that age consisted of peanut butter
    sandwiches and applesauce!  However my picky eater is now 9 and the
    list is a lot longer!!

    I've been considering buying the Oscar Meyer Luchables and keeping them
    in the 'fridge for desperate morning.  Any comments from anyone who has
    used these?  There seems to be two small size packs, one with desert,
    or one without, and there's a larger size with two kinds of meat and
    cheese, no desert at all.
    
    I'd love to "design" something like this, of course it would be cheaper
    than $1.99 to 2.99 each, but not sure how to go about it.
    
    Lyn

    Lyn, you can easily pre-plan assembly of these types of lunches;
    you can prepack the components (cold cuts are easily frozen) a few
    days ahead and on the day you need them just assemble one of
    everything, The lunchables are, at best convenient. at worst, you
    do not know the quality of the components before they are actually
    unpacked for consumption. My own personal opinion is that they are
    too much packaging for too little contents. 
    Again, however, others' judgement (based on time restraints) may
    differ.
    
    Monica
     

    Lyn, those lunchables I buy my kids for a "treat".  They take them to
    school -- they think they are great and are so excited when I buy them.
    It must be the dessert that makes them so good.  I can't imagine being
    filled up on one of these.

    Hi,
    
    I seem to be having a little problem.  Spencer will be 17 months on
    Friday and he does not want to eat regular table food.  He will eat
    snacky foods like cheerios, ritz bits, cookies, eggos, toast.  But at
    meal time he will eat nothing we are eating potatoes, vegetable, meat,
    french fries, rice etc.....  If it is not gerber, we do not eat and
    lately he seems to be tiring of even gerber which equalls many missed
    meals.
    
    Any help or advice 
    Joanne