T.R | Title | User | Personal Name | Date | Lines |
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59.1 | Give him a bit longer | SCAACT::COX | Kristen Cox - Dallas ACT Sys Mgr | Mon Jun 25 1990 10:40 | 15 |
| > and I am feeling definitely unready when I feed him, but ready when I
> look at the other pressures in my life.
What does this mean? I didn't understand it.
I allowed Kati to wean herself, so I had absolutely no side effects. She
gradually reduced her intake and the number of feedings, so it wasns't even
noticable when she went a week without nursing. If it is that traumatic for
Nathan and yourself, how about sticking with it a bit longer, at least until
he is allowed to drink milk (save the cost of formula), and drink from a cup
(Kati gave up the bottle at 8 mos.)? Could this be an option?
Good Luck!
Kristen
|
59.2 | Be patient! | HYSTER::DELISLE | | Mon Jun 25 1990 10:54 | 34 |
| I guess I don't really understand what the problem is from your note -
I get the problem about your child, but not about you. What do you
mean when you say you are definately unready when feeding him etc?
Is this your first? I just weaned my fourth in December. First off,
this is NOT an easy process. So if you are feeling miserable,
physically as well as emotionally, it's normal. There are no three easy
steps to follow to achieve a weaned child :-) Slow down, give it some
time, realize it's difficult for him and you. It took me a good solid
month to wean Joshua down to one feeding a day, and he screamed his
resistance the whole way. That is very emotionally wearing. He
refused the bottle for the longest time! Keep trying. I personally
would not attempt a cup - he's too young - and you may be confusing him
going back and forth between bottle and cup. Stick to the bottle.
Have your husband attempt to feed him also with the bottle - sometimes
they'll take it from anyone who's not Mom. He needs to suck, it's
instinctive.
One of the hardest things was finding the right bottle nipple that
Joshua liked - that didn't come out too fast, or too slow. Try
experimenting with different nipples. Have you tried giving him breast
milk in a bottle? Sometimes that's a good transitioning tool. Gets
him used to the bottle, but he's drinking something that tastes
familiar. Actually, if you're down to one feeding a day, you're doing
rather good! Don't worry, he will not starve, but you will have to be
persistant with offering the bottle.
After one feeding a day, I went to every other day, then down to
feeding him only went I was too uncomfortable and needed some relief!
Take heart, he'll come through it, and so will you. You have given him
a good healthy start in life, and now it's time for both you and he to
move on.
|
59.3 | yes, that was a rough time | TLE::RANDALL | living on another planet | Mon Jun 25 1990 11:19 | 16 |
| Something I found helpful when weaning David was to give him
breast milk and formula mixed -- starting with mostly breast milk
with just a taste of formula in it, going gradually to full
formula. And having his father give him the evening bottle was a
definite help.
Another thing that helped was smearing breast milk over the
outside of the nipple before I offered him the bottle.
Even though David and I didn't have any particular problems from
the practical point of view, I felt low emotionally, like I was
being a bad mother for not continuing to breastfeed after I went
back to work even though I knew I wouldn't be able to handle the
emotional and physical strain. But it passed.
--bonnie
|
59.4 | | RDVAX::COLLIER | Bruce Collier | Mon Jun 25 1990 13:53 | 9 |
| Although it wasn't conscious strategy at first, I think it helped a lot
that both my kids got used to bottles offered by either dad or their
homecare provider, rather than mom (as bonnie suggests). They had
fairly gradual transitions, at ages of about 6-7 months and 4-5 months
(dictated by job circumstances), and both went quite smoothly. So I
don't think age is the critical factor. But probably the longer the
better, if circumstances permit.
- Bruce
|
59.5 | | TCC::HEFFEL | Bushydo - The way of the shrub | Mon Jun 25 1990 14:19 | 31 |
| I certainly know what you mean about the mixed feelings. Katie and I
did well breastfeeding for about 3 months. But after I came back to work, it
was getting harder and to express enough milk for the missed feedings. The
strain was realy beginning to show on me. I tried all the tricks, nursing
Katie more often, expressing extra over the weekend. But I began to feel like
a damned cow. I seemed to spend every waking moment nursing, expressing or
thinking about it. When I realized that 1) Katie was beginning to be hungry
even after feedings and 2) nursing was interfering with rather than enhancing
my enjoyment of her, I decided to admit that I had given her a good start but
that it better for both of us to switch to formula.
The night that I decided to punt, I sat with Katie in my arms and
*cried*. It *is* an emotional decision. You need to do what's right for YOU
and your situation. If you want to stick it out, go for it. Call La Leche
League and ask for tips to help you continue. Enlist some support from your
spouse to make it easier to juggle what you have to juggle. But if it's right
to wean, don't let anyone make you feel guilty for it. (When I weaned Katie,
the *last* people I wanted to hear from were the LLL members. They were awfully
supportive and helpful and knowledgable when I was trying to nurse and work,
but, the local chapter at least, were rather short sighted about the fact that
sometimes in the big picture it just doesn't make sense to knock yourself out
to continue nursing.
Don't forget that it's OK to grieve a bit. It really hit me hard for
a few days, but as Katie settled in and no longer had to run around with my
shirt up/open and a baby/pump at my breast, I began to relax and enjoy Katie
again.
Tracey
|
59.6 | V2 pointer | NOVA::WASSERMAN | Deb Wasserman, DTN 264-1863 | Mon Jun 25 1990 15:08 | 1 |
| Also, see the note called 'pumping at work' in the V2 conference.
|
59.7 | ME TOO! | 5772::DECKER | | Tue Jun 26 1990 18:05 | 14 |
| I also just weaned my son (7 mos.). Last Monday was the last day I
nursed him and I still feel really upset about it. I was having the
same trouble pumping at work at the previous noter, I got to the point
that I didn't think Erik was getting enough milk from my pumping
efforts. So, out came the formula. I still really miss it alot (the
closeness and all...)every nite when I give him his bottle (which was
the last nursing to go) it hits me even more....
But on the up-note, he seems to be doing well with the formula and
never really fought the bottle.
Good Luck, nothing anyone can say or do though will make you feel
better, just time I guess.
|
59.8 | from the writer | FRAGLE::KUDLICH | | Wed Jun 27 1990 08:17 | 32 |
| For some more background, Nathan has refused the bottle from the very
start! We started him with breast milk at 5 weeks in planning for this
time, and even then, he was not overly interested. Once he got bad
milk in the bottle, and has been very reticent since! We never
insisted with a pacifier, so over most of his life, I have been all he
has eaten from. He does okay with the cup, and is working with the
spoon (loves those peaches!) but if a bottle comes in sight, he starts
to cry. We have tried various nipples: Playtex, 'traditional' with 1
and 3 holes (three manufacturers), two types of orthodontic (like
Nuk)--should I keep trying more nipples when the cup is starting to
work?
Some got it--'definitely unready when feeding him' meant that I love to
nurse, and do well at it; I have had no problems with quantity,
although expressing at work was a drag in that it took 45 minutes of an
already shortened work day. BUT, nursing does tend to make me feel a
bit tired (more tired?!), and with impending business travel, I thought
it would be better to wean him. I am getting rid of one feeding per
week, but this last one may not go for a while. Nathan seems to know
that I will feed him once a day, and often just cries--'I'm hungry, but
I won't eat that', waiting for me to feed him. Has anyone had good
luck with keeping one breast feeding while going on to formula for the
rest of the day?
I guess it is not going so badly, it is just sad to have this go. I
spent one afternoon weep-y over him leaving--for college!!! My husband
was a bit concerned...said, 'that's why they schedule the teenage
years, so we can stand to let them go!' :-)
Getting better,
Adrienne
|
59.9 | | FDCV07::HSCOTT | Lynn Hanley-Scott | Wed Jun 27 1990 09:27 | 10 |
| I've mentioned this many (probably too many:-) times before, but there
is a great cup sold by MagMag that has both a sippy top and a nipple.
If Nathan freaks when he sees a bottle coming, he might like this type
of cup. It looks like any other cup, with handles on the side, but you
could use the nipple for now, and alternate with the sippy opening. The
cup also has oz indicators on the side, to give you a fair idea of what
his intake is (usually decreases when kids start on a cup).
Best of luck,
|
59.10 | Nurses morning/night, bottles during day | ALLVAX::CREAN | | Wed Jun 27 1990 10:10 | 21 |
| Adrienne:
Cory's down to two nursings per day with a bottle for
juice/formula during the daytime hours. At first it was a real
struggle. I returned to work when he was 5 1/2 months old and he
wouldn't take the bottle from the daycare providers. For some reason,
he never would take breastmilk from a bottle - he would act very
indignant as if to say "that's not my mother" 8-).
Anyway, I got him used to the bottle by giving him juice. Then I
finally ended up weaning him from the mid-day nursing so that he would
be used to getting formula during the day (he was about 7 1/2 months
old). It took 3-4 weeks before he would just accept the formula bottle
with no fuss.
I don't know when I will wean him completely. Right now, we are
both enjoying nursing and the thought of giving it up breaks my heart.
Hang in there. It will get better !
- Terry
|
59.11 | maybe you could keep one nursing | GLORY::DIAZ | | Wed Jun 27 1990 10:57 | 12 |
| I guess I just want to emphasize what Terry was saying. Justine is
16 months and I am still nursing her mornings and/or nights (sometimes
we skip one with no consequences). Maybe you can keep up the one
nursing a day. With Justine the nursing is purely for comfort and for
me it's still easier in a lot of ways.
Yes it was draining to work full time, pump breastmilk, and then come
home and nurse the baby. And just about when I would start to think
about giving up, things would get easier (stopped pumping at work, etc.
and Justine adjusted just fine).
Jan
|
59.12 | | SALEM::SILVERIA | | Wed Jun 27 1990 14:29 | 12 |
| I am a little confused. I just returned to work after 6 weeks and
have been pumping so that I would be able to continue to nurse the
baby at home. However, I have not been able to get enough milk pumping
to sustain him while I am working, so he has been getting formula
at the sitters. He is taking the bottle/formula just fine.
Is it possible to stop pumping at work and just continue the morning
and evening feedings? Will my body adjust and continue to produce
milk at that reduced rate or will my body eventually just stop
producing milk because I am not emptying ever few hours?
-ali
|
59.13 | Morning & Evening works just fine | POBOX::HOFFMAN | Debbie Hoffman | Wed Jun 27 1990 15:00 | 9 |
| Yes, your body will adjust and produce the amount of milk for morning
and evening feedings. I did that exact thing when I returned to work
and continued to nurse for several months that way. There may be a
period of adjustment, just as there is when you make any change in your
nursing schedule, but it was a schedule that worked out very nicely for
us.
Good luck,
Debbie
|
59.14 | morning-only works, too | MCIS5::WOOLNER | Photographer is fuzzy, underdeveloped and dense | Wed Jun 27 1990 16:43 | 18 |
| ...believe it or not! I kept cutting down on nursing sessions,
thinking that each one would be the one to shut down the moo juice
factory, but to my great surprise we went for 6 months nursing only
at dawn (with no discomfort during the rest of the day, and apparent
reduction in volume).
Meanwhile Alex got the hang of a sippy cup at 6 months, and I think
that's about when I started phasing in cow's milk - carefully at first,
but she had no reaction to it so we ditched the formula she'd been
using at daycare.
(Maybe it was just the confounded contraption I was trying to use, but
I never could express ANYTHING - if I'd kept trying I would have
exploded before I got a drop into the stupid machine - but while Alex
was nursing I could catch a lot holding a cup under the "unoccupied"
one.)
Leslie
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59.15 | whoops, I meant NO apparent reduction | MCIS5::WOOLNER | Photographer is fuzzy, underdeveloped and dense | Wed Jun 27 1990 16:44 | 1 |
|
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59.16 | You will adjust | SCAACT::COX | Kristen Cox - Dallas ACT Sys Mgr | Thu Jun 28 1990 00:19 | 10 |
| Ali,
I quite pumping when Kati was 6 months, and continued nursing in the
morning and night until she was 15 months. Take your pump with you for
a while and if you get real sore at work, pump just enough to relieve
the pain then quit. After a few days you should be totally adjusted.
Kristen (who thought she was adjusted after about a week, but noticed a
HUGE stain on her dark green dress after being in a big meeting and
thinking about Kati!)
|
59.17 | The human body is amazing !
| KC::SYSTEM | | Fri Jun 29 1990 23:02 | 12 |
| Ali:
When I weaned Cory to nursing twice a day, it
only took 2 days for my body to "get the message".
Other noters here have mentioned that even when
they completely stopped nursing, the could still express
a few drops of milk for sometime after the baby was weaned.
Hang in there and good luck !
- Terry Crean
|
59.18 | Nathan's mom is happy! | FRAGLE::KUDLICH | | Fri Jul 13 1990 08:48 | 10 |
| Back again!
I am down to one feeding a day, and am going to stay there! I weaned
Nathan completely on the 4th, and was so upset all day on the 5th, that
we started up again, and feel much better thank you! I feel like I am
getting more prepared to fully wean him--maybe in a month or so, when
we are both ready. I am beginning to understand that _our_ readyness is
the key!
adrienne
|
59.19 | My problem was the opposite... | FIAMAN::LWALKER | | Thu Sep 20 1990 13:25 | 21 |
| I had the opposite problem as described by many of you here. I began
to wean Ashley at 2 1/2 months because I was returning to work and
she took to the bottle and the formula just fine. Before weaning,
she had an occasional bottle of breastmilk so the bottle wasn't a
total stranger to her.
I had hoped to keep her nighttime and morning feedings while I was
back at work but she gave them up. First she fought the nighttime
nursing and eventually after a few spells of crying through it with
her, I gave in and gave her a bottle. She gave up the early morning
feeding shortly thereafter. I was amazed at how emotional I was
about being "rejected". I guess I wanted to be the one who initiated
the time to stop. Occasionally I miss the quiet times we had together
nursing (especially because now that she always has a bottle, other
people want to feed her all the time) but we share special quiet
times together before she goes to bed.
By the way, Ashley is now four months old and appears to be thriving.
Lynn (a_new_mom_who's_having_a_difficult_time_being_back_at_work_even_
though_it_is_my_third_week)
|