Conference moira::parenting_v3

    Kate is 22 months and does the same thing.  She hates getting water in
    her eyes.  I try holding a towel over her eyes while I scoop small
    cupfuls of water onto her soapy head.  This doesn't work too well... I
    have to be real quick about it!  Funny though, when she's playing in
    the tub with her little toys she will pour water on her face on purpose
    and think that it is hilarious!

    I don't have this problem yet as Alexander is only 7 1/2 months old and
    doesn't mind the water going down is face.
    
    But they make these things that go over the head and the hair sticks
    out the top. I think they call them shampoo rings.  They have a wide
    brim so that no water/soap gets into the kids eyes or mouth.  You could
    probabyly find one at child world or toys 'r' us.
    
    
    
    Liz

    I'd be interested also in ideas on bathing trauma's.  My son, now
    3 years old use to just love the bath until about 3 months ago.
    He screams terribly when I suggest a bath to him.  It seems to be
    a battle getting him in the bathtub, and washing his hair.   He
    hates that part.  I tried to position him so the water won't get
    in his ears and eyes, but the more he squirms, the more the water
    goes in his ears and eyes.  Some days I just won't bathe him because
    I don't want to go through the fight.  
    
    I am glad you brought this topic up.
    
    Amy

I remember seeing this problem discussed twice in PARENTING_V2. You
might want to check it out.

    The same thing happened with my nephew Brian.  He was fine about having
    his hair washed until about 6 months ago (he's 3 1/4 now).  He doesn't
    like the water on his face at all any more.  I've found two ways of
    dealing with it.  If he's generally in a playful mood, we play the
    "What's that dripping down your nose?" game.  I have him tip his head
    back and shield his face from the water as much as possible, but if a
    few drips get by, I say "What's that dripping down your nose? Maple
    syrup?? (or chocolate sauce, tree sap, any other silly thing)".  He
    thinks this is pretty funny and doesn't get upset with the drips.
    
    If he's in a more serious mood, I fold the washcloth into a long,
    narrow piece and he holds it over his eyes while he tips his head back. 
    It took a couple of days to convince his that this would keep the water
    out of his eyes (an ears too), but now he knows that it works.  Good
    Luck.
    
                                                   Tracy
    

Thought I"d reply because I"m one of the ones who put a note in 
the other parenting file along these lines.

My daughter hated the bath for what seemed like forever!  Some of
the suggestions/ideas that helped were:

1.  Bubble bath (be careful not to overdo it, can lead to UTI)

2.  Blowing bubbles - she LOVED this one!

3.  Have a little friend over to bath with.

4.  Get some soap crayons and let her go to town.

Now she would just as soon bath twice a day!  

We also got her  a special Sesame Street towel, and we got some of those
"shampoo rings" from the Lillian Vernon catalog.  They're the ones that
keep the water out of her eyes.  She likes to catch the run-off in a cup.

Liz

    I had also responded to the similar note in PARENTING_V2 but I'll
    quickly state what has helped my son, who occasionally goes through the
    don't wash my hair stage.
    
    1. try letting them rinse their hair themselves, they feel like they
    have the control, give them a plastic bowl or cup
    
    2. try having them hold a washcloth over their own face and look down
    
    3. try having them look up at the ceiling and attempt to rinse all the
    soap backwards
    
    4. get a removeable shower head and let them spray themselves, my son
    has learned every possible body part from doing this and I usually get
    a bath at the same time!
    
    5. tell them calmly to close their eyes, then will sense your frustration
    
    6. you don't have to have excessive amounts of shampoo on their hair,
    it only takes longer to rinse
    
    7. start exposing them to showers, they will learn to like the
    sensation of the water running all over them and getting their face
    splashed by the spray
    
    Hope this helps.
    Andrea               

    As stated in .7, one of the best things I ever got was a shower massage
    type attachment with a five foot hose that you can detach from its hook
    and use.  I would soap up my kids hair, tell them look up at the
    ceiling, and rinse so that the soap would run away from their faces and
    down their backs.  I think this "stage" is quite common, starting
    around 2 1/2, lasting till three 1/2. (Your mileage may vary)
    
    Just another of the wonderful trying things kids do to make their
    parents wonder why on earth they had kids!! ;')
    

    From the mother of a kid with occasional tub-o-phobia (especially
    shampooing): try to bathe the kid a little less frequently -- now that
    it's summer, a dip in the wading pool can rinse off sweat and dirt.
    If appropriate, a short haircut can make shampooing much easier, too.
    Hair usually doesn't need to be washed as often as people think - you
    can sometimes make it through a week by wet-combing or rinsing just the
    back and edges. I think conveying to the kid that you are easing up on
    the schedule can help the child relax a little. 
    
    My son has developed a fondness for showering with a parent - I know
    Bruce C. advocates this, and it works very well if your kid will go 
    for it. 
    
    Lucy
    

    Alex (now 3 yrs old) went thru this too.  We play a game called
    scuba-diving.  Alex lays on his back, in about 2 inches of water,
    get's his hair wet, get's back up, I shampoo up his hair, while
    he scuba dives on his belly, and then he rolls over and lays
    on his back and he washs it out himself.  He things it's great!
    
    Alex also informs anyone within earshot, that he scuba dives with his
    mommy every night!

    It's been awhile since any replies were made to this note, but I'll still 
    write and see want happens.
    
    I am not a dad yet, but will be in March.  I've heard a lot of parents
    shower with their children.  Although never knew what ages they started
    at, and when (age) or how you know when you should stop.  Does the kid
    let you know? or Should you let the kid know?  And I would assume that
    mothers would shower with daughters and fathers with sons...or Maybe
    at younger ages it doesn't matter, but as they get older (ages??) you
    keep it to dad and son etc.
    
    What is the purpose of this (showering)  I am all for it if it builds
    a better bond, or makes the child more confident with his/her self.
    And that's the ONLY reason it should be done!!  Unfortunately, there
    are some that will say that parents that do this a "sick."  As long
    as it is COMPLETELY innocent, with only the childs well being in mind
    I think it's ok.
    
    I'd like to hear from anyone with an opinion, give ages, if child asked to
    do so, or parent suggested and reasons why it was suggested.
    
                           Just curious...Thanks
    
                                    John  
           

    Well John,
    
    A lot of people start showering with their kids when they are
    infants. My son takes his infant daughter in the shower with him
    because she prefers that to a tub bath. Other parents take tub
    baths with their children. In general under the age of about
    3 it really doesn't make any difference IMHO the sex of the child
    or the sex of the parent.
    
    Usually the child will start to give clues that they want to bathe
    shower alone between 3 and 5 and the parent should be gradually
    easing out of a role in bathing the child by then anyway.
    
    Bonnie

    Myself and my husband occasionally shower with my 3yr old daughter as a
    matter of convenience only.  If we are going somewhere and we don't have the
    time to let he have her usual 1/2 hour bath then we will let her jump
    in with one of us.
    
    I'm sure when my daughter is older she will no longer shower with daddy
    but for now I don't see a problem.  At her age she knows that there is
    a difference between boys and girls but it's not a big deal.
    
    Angie 

    re: .12,13
    
    Thanks for your quick response!!  Any other comments feel free..
    
                              John

    I have only one comment as regards showering with your children, from
    our (well my husband's really), Men...be careful where your "plumbing"
    is situated should your child loose his/her balance and begin to slip.
    
    Your prodruding parts make and excellent "handle" to grab on to!!
    
    (OUCH!!)
    
    Lyn

    John,
    
    I've been giving Nick the occasional shower since he was approx 6 mos
    old. (He's now 22 mos.) We started at such an early age to allow him
    to become accustomed to the sensation of being in a shower. 
    
    As far as the reasoning behind it, it's simply been a matter of 
    convenience. As an earlier reply mentioned, a child's bath can easily 
    take 1/2 hour or longer and, in our case at least, is usually given 
    at the end of the day. Well, despite good intentions, sometimes my wife 
    and I simply don't have the energy to administer a bath, or don't have 
    the desire to get soaked while doing so. Sometimes, Nick's simply not
    in the mood for a bath, but still needs to get clean. Also, we often 
    would rather spend the bathtime doing other quiet-time activities with
    Nick: reading, going out for a walk, or simply cuddling.
    
    In times like these, it's much easier and a lot more efficient for 
    Kathy to bring Nick into the bathroom as I'm finishing my shower. I
    can take him, get him wet, washed, rinsed and back to Kathy for
    drying in less than 2 minutes (5 minutes if he wants to play with the
    shower head). Works like a charm...
    
    Two areas of extra caution, however...
    
    	- when soapy, kids are very slippery. be careful how you hold 'em.
    	What I do is to wash and rinse his hair, then wash/rinse his
    	frontside, then wash/rinse his backside. By avoiding having his
    	entire body soapy, I've always got a less-slippery surface to hold.
    
    	- be careful not to let them get their legs too close to the tub
    	walls. Nick's very strong for his age, and can push off of the
    	walls with his legs with enough force to almost knock me over while
    	I hold him. (For this reason, Kathy can no longer give him a shower.
    	He would definitely send her flying...)
    

    re:.15 
    
    Good point, something one would definately want to keep in mind!!
    
    .16
    
    More good advice.  I have given kid baths before, and you right they
    are slippery little devils.  Good idea to wash sections at a time,
    like I wash my car :-) ..Well not in the shower.
    I am sure your right, kids probably get really excited in the shower
    and want to jump around.
    Convenience, seems to be the consensus.  That would probably be our case
    too.  Once you have kids your always late, no need to make you even
    later, can be fun too I bet.
    
    I am taking all this in for March when I become a parent!!
    
                                  John
                      

One thing Kimmi Jo (9 mos) has loved since birth is to get in the shower,
lay her head on my shoulder, and just let the hot water beat on her back.
She just falls asleep......

Ya' gotta luv 'em.