Conference moira::parenting_v3

	The original note string the Bruce refers to is note # 2306 in 
volume 2 of Parenting.

Tracey

    I agree with .0.  I always bring back something from a trip.  Not
    because of guilt but because I want to.  It's usually something with
    the name of where I've been like a t-shirt.  It helps them to learn
    the tiniest bit about somewhere else and it gives me something to do in
    the airport!

I find that looking for a gift for my boys often helps me when I am homesick.  
So often when I am away I keep thinking of how much Mike or Matt would like 
this or that, that I really have a lot of fun looking for something 
significant to bring back.  As a result...

Mike has a Palace Guard Bear Puppet (London Tower), and Daddy has a London TUBE
T-shirt - the boys can now talk about London, where Mommy went,

Also, there is Atlanta Bear, and the little mug for Mikey that says 
Gone with the Wind.  He talks about Atlanta whenever he drinks from it.  It 
really helps, in my opinion, to help relate that Mommy went someplace special -
not just 'away'.  My three year old now knows to comment 'you coming back, right'
and we can talk about where Mommy (or Daddy) is going.  It is especially nice
when we can find where Mommy was on the Map.

Minda -  FWIW

In addition to the "cultural" bit, I think that the extravagance of the gift 
has something to do with it.  If the gift is particularly expensive or out of 
character, then maybe the kid will think that the traveler-parent is trying to 
"buy him/her  off".  I doubt that any kid feels "bought off" by a swizzle 
stick or a bag of macadamia nuts.

Clay

    I agree with .3 about the parent going somewhere in particular and not
    just AWAY. It is very difficult for children to comprehend that
    sometimes travelling to someplace takes a very long time and that trip
    cannot be made within a day's timeframe so the parent will be gone for
    longer periods of time. Something I had heard that helps is getting a
    large map, pretty detailed, and marking the places where the parent is.
    Not only does it help them learn the magnitude of the world but it shows
    them in concrete terms that the parent is some distance away. Combined
    with getting a small token from the place, the child has yet another
    affirmation that the parent was at that place and was still thinking
    about them. Presents for the whole family are important. 
    
    Andrea
    _who_usually_gets_the_hotel_soap_and_whose_son_gets_the_chocolates

    Now that Steven's old enough to read, he gets a kick out of
    getting letters and postcards from the places I'm visiting. 
    I found that letters written on "unconventional" stationery are a
    lot of fun to write and to receive.  
    
    It started by accident when I was in New Orleans last month.  I
    was eating at a restaurant overlooking the river, watching all the
    boats go by and wishing Steven was there so he could see them too. 
    But the only paper was the restaurant's paper place mat.  So I
    wrote on that, thinking I'd copy it later.  But I ran out of time,
    so instead I folded it up and crammed it into a hotel envelope --
    and he loved it.
    
    Later I wrote another letter on the sheets of note-paper the hotel
    supplied in their conference rooms.  He thought that was pretty
    cool, too.
    
    Once the children are in school, they like things they can take in
    to share with their classes -- local newspapers, especially with
    articles about the schools in the place you're visiting, are nice.
    
    --bonnie

    It's not just that "extravagance" might give the wrong message; I have
    found my success with kid-gifts almost inverse to price.  The t-shirts
    I brought back from Japan were OK; but not nearly as interesting (or,
    really, as "meaningful") as the little container of those exquisitely
    sculptured japanese toothpicks ($0.40) or small bag of tiny "fish
    bottles" (plastic, with screw top, much smaller than your little
    finger) used for sending soy sauce along in a lunch box ($0.35).  And
    those free swizzle sticks in the form of a dragon were even better.
    
    		- Bruce

    Usually I don't bring anything.  But after my first trip to England,
    I brought my kids each a complete set of British coins, with enough of
    the smaller denominations so they could bring in the whole set for
    show and tell and give out British coins to every kid in the class.
    They loved that.  So did the class and the teacher.  They spent awhile
    doing money conversion and counting change with the foreign money.
    
    Radia

    Please reference note 928, replies .65 and subsequent, for a discussion
    of travel without children.
    
    Laura
    co-mod