| Title: | Parenting |
| Notice: | Previous PARENTING version at MOIRA::PARENTING_V3 |
| Moderator: | GEMEVN::FAIMAN Y |
| Created: | Thu Apr 09 1992 |
| Last Modified: | Fri Jun 06 1997 |
| Last Successful Update: | Fri Jun 06 1997 |
| Number of topics: | 1292 |
| Total number of notes: | 34837 |
How does one cope with death? I know the answer to this is different
for everyone, but how does one help a 4 year old? How do you know when
you can't help and professional help must be sought. Here is the
situation.
My daughter is 4.5. Her grandmother, my mother-in-law, died June 1.
Lindsey didn't really seem bothered until recently. Maybe it is the
realization that Grammy isn't coming back. I find the biggest problem
is when Lindsey is very tired, she starts crying saying she misses
grammy and why isn't Grammy coming back. If she is overtired, she will
wake up at night crying. This never happens during the day, either at
home or school, only at night.
Lindsey did not attend the funeral and hasn't been to the cemetery.
A little added info, we lived upstairs from Grammy until Lindsey was 3.
She was the apple of Grammy's eye and spoiled rotten.
Is this something we should let her grow out of? Should we seek
professional help? Should I take her to the cemetery and try to
explain it to her more? Can anyone suggest some good children's books
on death?
Thanks for your input,
Lisa Cozzens
| T.R | Title | User | Personal Name | Date | Lines |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1273.1 | CSC32::M_EVANS | be the village | Thu Apr 10 1997 14:42 | 15 | |
Lisa,
I would take her to the cemetary so she can say goodbye to grammy in
her own way. Carrie really missed her grandfather when he died. She
was 4 and I think thats when death becomes "real" for many kids.
Carrie was a bit leery about letting Frank or lolita or me out of her
sight for a while. She did cry and want to see gradpa quite a bit,
although the memorial service helped make it real for her.
We read a fair number of books and did a lot of extra cuddle time, and
she eventually healed. Good thing, as it was not a good year for
friends or family. We wound up at about 5 memorial services of varying
sorts that year.
meg
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