Conference moira::parenting

1179.0. "The Twelve Commandments" by POWDML::KNELSON () Wed Aug 28 1996 14:49

    Saw this in Ann Landers' column today.  Apparently it appeared years
    ago, but I never saw it till now.  I made a few edits :-) Reprinted 
    without permission.
    
    12 Golden Rules for Raising Kids
    
    1.	Remember that a child is a gift from God, the richest of all
    	blessings.  Do not attempt to mold him in the image of yourself,
    	your mother, your brother, or your neighbor.  Each child is an
    	individual and should be permitted to be himself.
    
    2.	Don't crush a child's spirit when she fails.  And never compare
    	her with others who have outshone her.
    
    3.	Remember that anger and hostility are natural emotions.  Help your
    	child to find socially acceptable outlets for these normal feelings
    	or they may be turned inward.
    
    4.	Discipline your child with firmness and reason.  Don't let *your*
    	anger throw you off balance.  If they know you are fair, you will
    	not lose their respect or their love.  And make sure the punishment
    	fits the crime.  Even the youngest child has a keen sense of
    	justice.
    
    5.	Remember that each child needs two parents.  Present a united
    	front.  Never join with your child against your mate.  This can
    	create in your child (as well as in yourself) emotional conflicts,
    	and feelings of guilt, confusion and insecurity.
    
    6.	Do not hand your child every little thing her heart desires. 
    	Permit her to know the thrill of earning and the joy of achieving,
    	and the pleasure that comes with personal accomplishment.
    
    7.	Do not set yourself up as the epitome of perfection.  You will
    	find it easier to communicate with your child if you let him know
    	that Mom and Dad can err, too.
    
    8.	Don't make threats in anger or impossible promises whne you are 
    	in a generous mood.  Threaten or promise only that which you can
    	live up to.  The child who has lost faith in her parents has
    	difficulty believing in anything.
    
    9.	Don't smother your child with superficial manifestations of "love."
    	The purest and healthiest love expresses itself in day-in, day-out
    	training, which breeds self-confidence and independence.
    
    10.	Teach your child there is dignity in hard work, whether it is 
    	performed with callused hands that shovel coal or skilled fingers
    	that manipulate surgical instruments.  Let him know a useful life
    	is a blessed one.
    
    11. Do not try to protect your child against every small blow and
    	disappointment.  Adversity strengthens character and makes us
    	compassionate.  Trouble is the great equalizer.  Let her learn it.
    
    12.	Teach your child to love God (whatever your conceive her to be
    	--Ed.) and to love humanity.  Don't send your child to a place of
    	worship, take him there.  Children learn from example.  Telling
    	them something is not teaching them.  An abiding faith in God
    	can be your child's strength and light when all else fails.
    

    This is great!  
    
    Thanks!