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Conference moira::parenting

Title:Parenting
Notice:Previous PARENTING version at MOIRA::PARENTING_V3
Moderator:GEMEVN::FAIMANY
Created:Thu Apr 09 1992
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1292
Total number of notes:34837

1178.0. "CHILDREN IN SPORTS" by ODIXIE::GREGORYC () Wed Aug 28 1996 12:29

    I did not see a note on children in sports.  If this needs to be
    moved please feel free.
    
    My two girls have been playing softball for several years, they are
    7 and 8 now.  My husband and I have been their coach for most of
    those years.  They are now cheerleading for the fall.  I am really
    about to loose it with their coach!  The coach stresses how this is
    a team sport, yet she does not take into consideration the first time
    cheerleaders.  She goes over the cheers so FAST- they must go over
    20 new cheers every night, this before they learn the previous.  She 
    said they have to go fast- so many to learn and the returning cheer-
    leaders need to go at a faster pace.  My kids have never cheered- never
    even seen cheerleaders- and they are really struggling to keep up.
    We have been told (after registration) that this park is a competition
    park- and we will go to competition.  Last night the coach held a
    parents meeting and said that we really needed to watch our own girls
    and decide if we thought they were ready for competition- if not they
    did not have to go- she recommended that 1st year cheerleaders not
    go to competition.  I have a problem with this!   This is a team sport!
    In softball, when we had tournaments we did not go to the parents
    and say your daughter is not ready- we worked with those girls more
    than the others and made sure they were ready.  We've already put
    A LOT of money into this!  I haven't had the opportunity to talk to 
    the coach (concession stand duty!) yet- but I do intend to.
    
    Is anyone else going through or have gone through similar sports issues?
    
    Cindy
                                
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1178.1Talk to the coachPOWDML::KNELSONWed Aug 28 1996 14:4016
    Did you and/or other concerned parents speak to the coach privately
    yet?  I would recommend this as a first step.  The coach may be
    inexperienced with this particular age group, or just may not be that
    good of a coach, period.  
    
    Failing that, is there some kind of governing body for the cheerleaders
    -- for example, our city has a youth soccer program, and even though
    it's all volunteers, the soccer program can and does step in when
    disputes arise.  There was one case last year where one soccer team did
    a lot of trash talking, and when other coaches and parents complained
    to the soccer league, the coach of the trash-talking team was given the
    choice to either knock it off or quit coaching.
    
    Maybe I mis-read your note, but 7 and 8 years old seems kind of young
    for cheerleading....Just MHO.
    
1178.2HAZMAT::WEIERPatty, DTN 381-0877Thu Aug 29 1996 12:3638
I put Chris into sports when he was really too old to be "starting".  Most 
other boys his age already knew HOW to play, and were just working on getting 
better (similar to your returning-cheerleaders).  The coaches knew from day 1 
that this was Chris' first year, and you know, no one really cared at all.  
They didn't spend any extra time, and extra time that WE'D try to spend with 
him never seemed to work out the same.  The coaches had the same expectations 
of Chris as they did of other kids - he was *NEVER* cut any slack because he 
was new at it.

After 2 years of this, Chris has decided that he wants NOTHING to do with 
organized sports at all.  Can't say as I blame him.  How can they expect him 
to perform at competition level, when he doesn't even really understand the 
game?!

In hindsight, if I had it to do over again, rather than getting with the town 
soccer/baseball league, I would first sign him up for an instructional league, 
such as those offered by the "Y", that don't make assumptions about ability 
and knowlege being related to age.  Once he had had a year or two of 
instructional, then I'd have tried him in the city league .... of course by 
then it might have still been too late ....

It's my opinion, with organized "sports", if the kid doesn't fit in within a 
certain set of requirements, they are fairly consistently 'tossed out' and 
'left aside'.  I even saw this last year w/ Jason's soccer (he was then 7, and 
in an instructional league for 2 yrs), there was a new-bee to the team, and he 
was quickly isolated and pointed at, because he didn't understand the concepts
of what was going on.

Since you have already invested so much, I might suggest trying to get with 
one of the more experienced cheerleaders, and ask her to "tutor" your girls, 
so that they can catch up faster.  Or I'd be tempted to drop the whole thing -
it's not fair to the girls to have all that pressure.

OR start your own "Beginners" group, and work with the established group to 
determine what the girls need to know to fit into the experienced group!

-Patty
1178.3RAGE::MCPARTLANeverything's going to be quite alrightThu Aug 29 1996 13:084
Sorry I can't help with your problem. Justine is only 1. What's the best 
age to start kids in sports?

donna
1178.4Age dependsODIXIE::GREGORYCThu Aug 29 1996 13:5614
    We started our girls in softball around 4 and 5.  It depends on a lot
    of things. . . the child showing interest, the type of sport and the
    type of league.  We were looking for something to help boost self
    confidence and burn up extra energy when we started our 8 year old in
    softball at age 5 (plus she had been watching my nieces play) my 7 year
    old started at age 4 - she wasn't into it at all (the dirt was too
    tempting to her).  But the next season she played @ 5 yrs old and 
    really got into it- she was and still is by far one of the best on 
    the team. They have both come a long way in softball.  They started 
    cheering because THEY wanted to try it. The oldest loves it but the 
    youngest said she would rather be playing softball!
    
    Cindy
    
1178.5SALEM::HIGGINS_CFri Aug 30 1996 14:0828
    
    Hello,
    
    	My daughter is also a first time cheerleader.  Our team started
    	practicing Aug 1st.  We told them we would be on vacation the
    	second week of August.  Needless to say they taught the kids about
    	two/three cheers a day while we were gone.  The following Monday
    	when we went back my daughter went to the spot where she had been
    	placed and when they started cheering she had no idea what to do
    	so she was one step behind everyone else..............at first 
    	they didn't pull her aside to show her anything.  After about a 
    	half hour they took her aside along with four or five other girls
    	and started with the words and then the motions of the cheers...
    	They have also given all the parents the words to every cheer that
    	the girls will be doing.  My daughter is still a little behind but
    	has come a long way.
    
    	For coaches we have the head coach, an assistant coach, and three
    	trainers along with a few parents that help plus a team manager.
    	I would think that the coaches would take the time to help all
    	the cheerleaders.
    
    	We have three mascots on the team and they range in age from 4 to
    	6 years old.  They get to do just about everything that the other
    	girls do except mounts.
    
	Carol    	
    
1178.6exMROA::SPICERFri Aug 30 1996 14:4813
    I don't know if it's me, but isn't this getting all a bit too wacky
    when we adults start rejecting 7 year olds as potential sports stars
    because they 'haven't got what it takes'. 
    
    At 7 it ought to be fun, organized play, enjoyable, an ice cream or
    pizza after the game, what they want, not what a load of misguided over 
    the top parents want.
    
    The serious stuff comes later - if they haven't already been put off so
    much that they never want to play any sport again.
    
    Martin
    
1178.7WRKSYS::MACKAY_EFri Aug 30 1996 16:0826
    
    IMO, the pre-teen years is a perfect time for exploraton, ie.
    try different sports and activities. There is a wide range of
    sports to consider - gymnastics, swimming, softball, tennis,
    skating, basketball, etc, etc. There are also sports, such as
    track and field, wrestling, that kids do not get exposure to 
    until middle and high school. And then there are sports, such 
    as rock climbing, scuba diving, mountain biking, archery
    that people do not usually pick up until adulthood. There are 
    certain sports that really are tied in to one's physique, ie. 
    one needs a certain body build to excel in them. For example, 
    to be a good female gymnastics, one cannot be too tall. However, 
    it does not mean that a tall girl cannot have fun doing gymnastics.
    But, when it comes to team *competition*, I can see why the coachs
    get picky. I was in several varsity teams in middle and high
    school, so I can understand the sentiments. Just imagine that
    there are 10 kidss in a team, 9 of them are good/works hard, and
    1 of them does not measure up. It is very, very difficult for the
    9 kids not to resent that one kid. If another kid could have taken
    that one kid's place and fare better, it is unfair to the 9 kids
    to miss a regional/state/national championship opportunity. 
    
    Just a different perspective...
    
    Eva
    
1178.8TLE::EKLUNDAlways smiling on the inside!Fri Sep 13 1996 15:1757
1178.9WRKSYS::MACKAY_EMon Sep 16 1996 10:0345
1178.10WRKSYS::MACKAY_EMon Sep 16 1996 10:3219