Conference moira::parenting

    We let my daughter eat just about anything healthy she wants.  If she
    doesn't like what we are having for dinner, she can have fruit,
    veggies, cheese, etc.  We had steak the other night, which she does not
    like.  I gave her the rest of the dinner, rice and veggies, and she ate
    a 1/2 cup of rice and 1 1/2 cups of green beans.  Milk to wash down the
    multivitamin she get daily and I know she is not starving.
    
    Friends of ours have a son who never wanted to eat anything but sweets. 
    He was a little bird in stature.  They handled it differently than I
    would by forcing him to eat or no TV (i.e. games, dessert, etc.) and he
    cried through it most of the time.  Now he is four, still a bird in
    stature, but he eats with no provoking.
    
    As you pediatrician what they recommend.  I was told to hide veggies
    and fruit items in a shake with Yogurt or ice cream.  It really worked.
    
    Best of luck..

    My children have the same problems and we are not Indian. We spend 2
    hours at meal times just getting them to eat something. I do find that
    they go in spirts - some days they will eat more than others.
    
    I would offer my children pop tarts, cookies, anything to get them to
    eat more, but it just does not work.  They will take one bite and that
    would be it. 
    
    I have started getting more creative. They love to cook muffins, so we
    make corn muffins and I put graded carrots, raisins or blueberries in them.
    They also like bran muffins with raisins, nuts and dried apricots.
    These things they can add themselves and they will eat while we are
    cooking.  Making your own pizza is a good project as well. We also use
    cookie cutter to make different shape sandwiches.  
    
    I know how frustrating this can be. I would like to tell you it gets
    better, but for me it has not and the children are 5 and 3. The doctor
    tells me they will eat when they are hungary. It is tough, especially
    when your kid are on the bottom of the growth chart (2nd percentile).
    
    My best advice would be to hang in there and get creative at meal
    times. A while back I bought a book called "Feed Me I'm Yours". It was 
    interesting and offered some good suggestions. You may also want to ask
    your daycare provider for suggestions. Good Luck!
    

    My 2 year old is also doing the same and is not Indian.  Our practice
    is to put some of everything on her plate, though possibly only small
    helpings of what we don't believe she will eat.  It also seems to help
    when she sees everyone at the table eating what she has and talking
    about how good it is.  If she doesn't voluntarily try something, my
    husband or I give her a bite of it from our plate.  Then, if she likes
    it, we point out that it's on her plate also.  
    
    Another thing that we've established in our house is that you eat
    dinner at dinner time and then the table is cleared.  It is not an
    option to watch television or play through dinner and eat later.  If
    the kids refuse to eat, they can leave the table, but the television
    cannot be turned on until the adults are done eating.  This was to put
    a stop to my 5 year old declaring she was not hungry so she could go
    watch a favorite program only to be back and hour or so later looking
    for dinner.
    
    Most of all, not all kids like the sweets.  If you give my 2 year old a
    poptart, she'll maybe eat 1/4 to 1/2 of it.  Give her grapes and she'll
    eat a bowlful!  The same with quiche or chicken soup.  I don't
    complain, I just try to make sure her snacks are healthy.  My doctor
    also told me that he had never seen a kid voluntarily starve itself. 
    They'll eat when they get hungry.  The important thing to be sure of is
    that when they do eat, they eat something good for them.
    
    Irene

    Kasturi,
    
    You mentioned your son is interested in eating but can't consume any
    volume except for brocolli.  What about other veggies and fruit? Does
    he get much variety of greens, carrots and fruit? Perhaps his tummy
    has reached the point it feels too full eating any floury, starchy,
    protein and carbo rich foods.  I think it is interesting that he will
    eat lots of brocolli but nothing else.  If he eats lots of spicy foods,
    might this dull his taste buds and consequently make him lose interest?
    If you don't do this now, could you introduce several small meals per
    day?  How about food presentation? My son loves raw brocolli partially
    because he thinks it is interesting looking. He firs tried french fries
    because he liked the way they looked. So now I try to cut up certain
    foods that might be controvercial in an interesting way. My son also tries 
    many of his new foods at day care. It is usually him asking the teachers 
    or kids what it is they have, they agree to share, and the teacher tells me
    he liked whatever it is. That is how I found out about brocolli.
    
    Good luck. It is terrible worrying they're not getting the right
    nutrition,
    
    Kathy

    I always thought this was a two and three year old thing.  A good
    friend who has had 6 kids refers to it as "The living on air stage"  
    
    With Kid #1 it drove me a little nuts, with kid #2 I mostly ignored it,
    and with kid #3 I totally ignore this, but make sure there is a good
    selection of nutritious things around for her to nibble on when she is
    hungry.  Eating at the same time the rest of us do is not a
    requirement, as it could mean she has gone from the hungry part, to
    not-hungry manic kid while waiting, and dinner will be unpleasant for
    all.  I enjoy my food too much to have my digestion messed up by trying
    to force a kid to eat on a timetable.  
    
    Things I now keep around, are Handy-snax, the processed cheese and
    crackers thingies; lots of fruits and raw veggies; bite sized cheese
    bits; ramen, we add veggies to it but it cooks in three minutes; canned
    pork and beans, microwavable in small quantities in a couple of
    minutes; frozen yogurt (semi junk); fruit bars, and potato chips (real
    junk); and dry unsweetened cereal and lactose-free milk.  When Atlehi
    was on a cheeseburger kick, we had frozen White Castle hamburgers,
    which nuke in about a minute and added our own cheese to them.  
    
    Lolita, the field-test kid, looks at this and laughs.  "Hey Granola
    mom, when did you start slacking off?"  She did train us well, it
    started when she was in high school.  The kids aren't fat, or too
    underweight for their growth curves, they are healthy, and if
    experience holds true, about the time Atlehi hits 4 she will be ready
    to eat at the same time as the family, if only for the company, more
    often than she is now.  
    
    FWIW these kids aren't Indian, as far as we can tell through the
    geneologies, but they are children.  
    
    meg

    
    Thanks a lot to all of you ! It is re-assuring to know that some kids
    do not eat enough at the same sitting and thats ok.
    
    I thought I have messed up his eating habit and his patients and
    interest to eat by trying to coaxing him to eat. I remember when my
    child was about 1 or just trying out solid food I used to kind of
    encourage him to try and eat a little more at a point where Jayit has 
    decided to stop. This has always bothered me that what appears to me as
    encouragement maybe pressure for him and unknowingly have I made eating
    a chore for him. What do other parents do when kids start ? Do you put
    things on the table and let them try themselves ? Not bother if they
    have really eaten very little and try later ?
    
    Several of you also have asked what is the food group that I have most
    trouble with. Jayit loves veggies .. well broccoli is his favorite but if I
    put a bowl of pasta and veggie in front of him he will pick up and eat
    all the peas and carrots and beans it which may be 1 spoonfull each and
    that I think is enough for daily allowense of greens ect. But the
    problem is he would take only 2 spoons of pasta on a good day. Is that
    how much an avarage child eats ? Am I being over ambitious here ? 
    
    I found several good tips here in all your reply. I will try most of
    them and see what happens. 
    
    Kasturi
    

    Kasturi,
    
    If you provide a reasonable selection of nutritious foods and keep
    track of what your child is eating, you will find it all balances out. 
    This doesn't mean you can provide sweets on demand, as that does seem
    to set up some interesting eating habits.  
    
    If a wide range of foods is provided, don't worry.  After 22 + years of
    parenting, I haven't seen a toddler successfully starve herself to
    death.  If it really bothers you, offer a chewable vitamin every couple
    of days.  
    
    I forgot to mention, Atlehi was on a cheeseburger binge for about a
    week, then she was on a grape kick, then a pasta kick, then a veggie
    kick, and now that the garden is starting to grow, she loves pulling
    leaves off the spinach, and last year was devouring the cherry tomatoes
    and snow peas faster than I could pick them.  
    
    Relax and enjoy your child, it will help out in the long run.
    
    meg

>>    Several of you also have asked what is the food group that I have most
>>    trouble with. Jayit loves veggies .. well broccoli is his favorite but if I
>>    put a bowl of pasta and veggie in front of him he will pick up and eat
>>    all the peas and carrots and beans it which may be 1 spoonfull each and
>>    that I think is enough for daily allowense of greens ect. But the
>>    problem is he would take only 2 spoons of pasta on a good day. Is that
>>    how much an avarage child eats ? Am I being over ambitious here ? 

Jayit should get together with my son Josh (soon to be 4); between the two of
them, they'd eat everything.  Josh won't eat fruit OR vegetables AT ALL.  He
eats plenty of grain foods, dairy, and meat.  We try to compensate with fruit
juices and vegetable-filled ravioli.

I ate everything when I was a kid, in contrast to my father and brother.  Now I
understand why my eating habits made my Mom so happy.  :-)

						Brian

Kasturi, 

We worked hard to get our younger son to eat.  By the time he was 6 months
old he had fallen entirely off the weight charts.  We tried everything we
could think of to get him to eat and gain weight.  Unfortunately, he was
also allergic to milk.  Finally, at 18 months he got on the charts again,
and has stayed around the 25th percentile, I think.

Some suggestions:  

First of all, if he's at a good weight then don't worry.  If he is, then he
will not starve if you keep offering him good foods.  He'll eat what he wants
and eventually when his body needs more, then he'll eat more.  You really
don't have to worry.  A vitamin a day can help you feel better while ensuring
that he gets more nutrition.

If, however, he is honestly underweight, perhaps what some doctors call
"failure to thrive", then...
Allow him to eat whatever he wants.  As Meg said, sometimes they just go on a
binge where for a week (or a month) all they want is X. Keep allowing him to
have X, while still having other things available to him.

Offer high calorie foods whenever possible.  Try pouring cheese sauce on his
brocolli.  Yogurt, whole milk (not 2%), and cheese are good for adding weight.
Children often like to dip their food, so use a dip with lots of calories,
like dipping strawberries in sugar.

Grow your own.  We grew lots of cherry tomatoes last year.  My children, then
7 and 2, would collect them off the vine and into big buckets.  I swear they
must have eaten half of them (or more!) before the buckets came into the house!
In previous years my other son ate lots of snow peas.  It's possible that in
growing your own then your son may become more interested in the foods, and
also may have more opportunity to eat. 

It sounds like your son, though, is just (really) an average kid.  I understand
what you are saying about seeing the other kids in daycare eating so much,
and this being a concern to you.  However, it really is common for kids to go
through a long period of time when they hardly eat, and as long as their 
bodies are gaining enough weight, they seem alert and happy, and the doctor
checks them out and says they are healthy, then they are doing what their
bodies need at the time.  In a few months or years they may go through stages
when they eat you out of house and home.  My older one goes back and forth 
like that sometimes.  :-)

       Carol

    
    It's definitely a 2-3 year old thing, and I don't think it's at all
    related to culture.
    
    Jonathan's 2 1/2, and lucky for me, the only of my 3 kids that eats
    fairly reliably at this age.  The other 2 lived on fish sticks and pb
    and j for a few years.
    
    I've done a few things different too .... I try hard to AVOID asking
    Jonathan if he's hungry.  I wait till I'm pretty sure he's hungry, put
    his plate on the table and announce "Time to eat!".  I then try to make
    a point to sit with him while he eats -- this helps *TREMENDOUSLY*!  It
    helps even more if I'm eating the same thing he is (which is different
    than him eating the same as me - I prepare his meal around his tastes,
    not mine).  It's not going to kill me to eat a hot dog once in a while
    (his favorite!).
    
    I try to keep it interesting.  He especially likes to "add" things to
    his food.  Salt, grated cheese, spices - he likes to sprinkle them on,
    take a bite, sprinkle, bite etc.  If he starts playing with the food
    and not eating it, it's taken away.  
    
    I try to make things "easy" for him to eat.  It's much easier for him
    to eat an apple without the skin and core, than it is to eat around the
    seeds.  If I leave the seed in, he might eat 1/2 of it.  If I core and
    peel it, he'll gobble the whole thing down in no time!
    
    I teasingly "threaten" to eat his food.  "Ohhhhhh, that looks so
    GOOD!!!  Mommy's going to have your toast, okay?".  Working with his
    normal selfishness, usually prompts him to eat.  Of course sometimes I
    end up having to eat some of his too.
    
    It was suggested to me a long time ago, and seems to hold true - never
    offer more than 3 different things at one time.  It's too distracting,
    and the child will end up eating none of them.  Jonathan's supper is
    typical a piece of fruit or veggie, bread/pasta/chips and some sort of
    meat/cheese/p.b.  His favorite is pasta with meat sauce and corn on the
    cob or green beans.  Usually he has milk or choc. milk and then
    whatever he wants to eat after that.  If he doesn't eat his supper, he
    gets nutritious snacks later.  If he eats his dinner. he can have
    whatever he wants later.  Didn't take him long to figure THAT one out!
    
    Be careful what your expectations are.  They don't need a lot of food. 
    About 1/2 a Happy Meal is a normal amount of food for a kid this age. 
    That would be a good-sized meal.  If all he ate was 1/2 the hamburger
    and none of the fries, I'd offer some ketchup.  If he still refused the
    fries, oh well.  
    
    And it's quite common for them to eat in spurts.  Eat almost nothing
    for several days, and then one day eat everything in sight.  It's
    frustrating, but it seems to all work out in the end.
    
    And if you're really stressed out about it and are willing to do
    ANYTHING, you can introduce some really bad habits, such as eating in
    front of the tv.  A more acceptable one might be to play the radio
    during mealtimes.  Face it - eating is pretty boring, when there's a
    whole WORLD to explore!!!
    

    When Alyssa was little, she wasn't really picky, but like your son,
    only ate a few bites of this and a few bites of that.  You won't
    believe what I did...
    
    I didn't even think anything about it, but Alyssa always loved my
    muffin tin.  Maybe because it has numerous little "cups" in it?  I
    don't know.  So one day I thought, well, since she won't let it go,
    then I'll just put her food in the little muffin cups and let her eat
    that way.  Sure enough, she finished all the little "cups" and wanted
    more.
    
    So for a while I put 4 green beans in that one, 3 slices of banana in
    that one, 1 fish stick in that one, 2 green beans in that one, 4 french
    fries in that one, etc.  It's amazing what kids will eat when put into
    something fun!
    
    
    My cousin always had to eat 5-6 small (and I mean small) meals a day
    rather than 3 meals.  She just could never take more than a few bites
    at a time.
    
    
    

    
    In response to the question on portion size, I seem to recall that
    a "serving" size for young children was roughly 1 tablespoon for
    each year of age.   So 2 tablespoons of pasta would be an appropriate
    serving for a 2 year old...which isn't really that much...
    
    Does anyone else remember that rule of thumb?
    
    cj/

    WOW!  Angeline would starve!  She eats everything and in
    portions that amaze.  But I'm lucky, too, because she eats
    a good balanced meal.  She's loves potatoes, prefers mashed,
    chows veggies and holds her own with chicken or ham.  She
    won't even consider a hamburger.  AT this time... of course.
    I'm sure that will change.
    
    As Patty, and I beleive others, pointed out, the phases do
    come and go.  With my neices and nephews my sisters just were
    happy to get what they could when they could into them.  If
    it meant mac and cheese, or a bowl of cereal for supper, it got
    it them!
    
    						cj

    
    This reminds me of something - when my daughter was in the
    "eat only 5 things" stage, my brother and his wife couldn't
    fathom the idea as their little girl would chow down any
    baby food, they thought there was something *seriously wrong*
    with the situation. Now that their own big girl and little
    boy are still in the "eat only 2 things" stage, they can't
    fatham the idea that my daughter (about to enter middle school)
    eats pretty much anything that my husband considers suitable
    for human consumption (which is a subset of what I consider 
    edible). We call that stage the "orchid" phase, the kids just 
    live off thin air and water ;-).
    
    
    Eva
     

    We had this problem with our youngest- the Doctor called it
    "Failure to Thrive".  He suggested keeping snacks (carrot sticks,
    fruit pieces, etc) available for her and when she got hungry
    she could help her self.  She got through it she is now almost
    7 years old and weighs in at 40 lbs- wears a size 4-5 and is
    full of energy and spunk!
    
    Cindy
    

    There's a big difference between a picky eater and failure to thrive
    though.  My kids have all been or are in a picky eater phase.  None of
    them have ever failed to thrive.  Actually I find it a freak of nature
    that they grow at all, based on what I see them eat - but they do.
    
    My niece, on the other hand, went for quite a time (close to a year)
    where she wouldn't eat anything and actually lost a couple of pounds.
    She's 4 yrs old, and weighs about 28 lbs.  Jonathan's 2 1/2, and weighs
    about 36.  She's just a peanut.
    
    BUT at one point, the Drs were examining everything that she ate/drank,
    and found that she was drinking a lot of juice, which they believe was
    killing her appetite for anything "real" to eat.  Soooooooooooooo, they
    removed juice from her diet, and replaced it with chocolate whole-milk.
    And ANYTHING else that was high in calories, pretty much regardless of
    nutritional value, and a multi-vitamin.  She's finally growing again.
    She's still not supposed to have juice, and we still have to really
    encourage her to eat much at all.  But she is growing/developing now -
    still a bit on the lower end of the charts, but at least on the charts.
    
    ANYTHING is better than nothing.....
    

    Another thing with "failure to thrive" is how the child is behaving in
    general.  Are they active, socializing well with adults and other kids,
    interested in learning and trying new things?  Are they overly
    aggressive or overly passive?  How are they sleeping?  Are the
    developmental milestones being reasonably met?  How do they interact
    with parents and other caregivers?  Even if only a small amount of food
    is eaten at each meal or snack, is it eaten willingly, if not eagerly,
    or does the child seem "put off" by food?  How is the child's general
    health -- does he get every cold and intestinal bug that comes down the
    pike or is he reasonably able to fight off these infections?  These are 
    equally important
    factors.  Quantity of food eaten in and of itself isn't the only
    measurement of a kid's health.
    
    Both of my kids are fussy eaters.  My 8-year-old is finally now trying
    green beans and peas.  Since my daughter (nearly 5) will eat any kind
    of fruit, I give her that instead of vegetables at mealtimes.  If they
    don't want potatoes, they can have bread and butter.  Make sure they
    drink milk (if they can tolerate it).  When my son wanted chocolate
    milk, I gave him Ovaltine, which is fortified with B vitamins.  It has
    less sugar than Quik or Hershey's syrup, and it gives them the
    chocolatey taste they want.  
    
    Timing is everything with meals, too.  My daughter, for example,
    prefers a later breakfast (which isn't always possible during the
    week), and dinner at about 5:45 p.m. (which isn't always possible
    during the week.)  No TV at mealtimes, but music is OK, reading aloud
    is encouraged from time to time.
    
    And yes, on Friday nights, we might get a pizza and rent a video and
    eat in front of the tube!  But that's the exception and not the rule. 
    I would say, make sure you have nutritious snacks around (remembering
    that little kids often prefer 5-6 small meals a day), monitor their
    juice intake, and substitute, substitute, substitute.  Nobody ever died
    from having a bowl of cereal and a dish of canned peaches for supper.
    

    From my experience which is much different from most people here, it is
    common problem for 1-2 year-old and IS culture thing too. I grew up in
    China, so did my older daughter. She was little bit picky, but not too
    bad. In China, until recently parents were told not to give sancks to 1-3 
    year-old kids, so that they can eat their 3 or 4 meals a day.
    Say if they don't eat their breakfast in the morning, fine, then no
    snack, no jocy, wait until lunch time, if they don't eat their lunch,
    no food until supper time... usually after a couple of such days, they
    will eat every meal just fine.   
    
    And also, I didn't give her table food until she was 2 or 3. I cooked
    separetely for her every day, with mixed vegi and meat. She loves fish
    a lot. I was told that fish meat is better for children, so she started
    fish meat after she was 6 mon.
    Now she is 8 1/2, and eats most every kind of vegi. but doesn't
    like too sweet stuff. ;-)
    
    She is tall at her age, and very smart. How smart is she? a year ago
    -- actually 14 month ago, when she first came here from China, she
    didn't know a single word of English, and last week she just finished
    her first Nancy Drew by herself. 
    
    Now I have a 5-mon-old daughter, I wonder if I can feed her the way I
    fed my first one. I'd like to try and see what happens to this one... 
    
    
    Candy
    
      

    
    Candy,
    
    	I was brought up pretty much the way your older daughter was 
    brought up - I remember I ate a lot of fish and I wasn't picky at
    all.
    
    	Hindsight 20/20, I wish I had brought up my daughter diet-wise
    in a similar fashion. However, I didn't have a good support system
    to accomplish that - my husband was rather picky himself and was
    suspicious of the Chinese diet in general (that has changed a lot 
    over the years ;-)). So, she was brought up the American way, but
    she is also exposed to all the "strange" foods that I and some of 
    my friends and family eat occasionally. She is not picky compared 
    to an average American 10 yr old, but compared to an average 
    Chinese child of the same age, she's probably unbearable ;-). 
      
    	Good luck with your second child.
    
    Eva	

    How can a seven year old child be 40lbs and not be underweight?  Paul
    is 2 1/2 and 40lbs already.  His is not fat at all, but very solid.
    He eats very well.  In fact, his breakfast usually consists of two soft
    boiled eggs and toast (weekends) and two waffles during the week.  His
    lunchs are sandwiches and fruit which he usually eats all of cept the
    crust :) and his dinners are typically 3-6 pieces of fish or chicken,
    *alot* of vegies, and sometimes also yogurt or applesauce.  I have seen 
    this child eat almost a whole box of frozen squash.  
    
    I'm beginning to think that I feed him too much now!
    
    cj

    How tall is he?  How tall are you and how tall is Paul's father? 
    What's your bone structure like?  He may be genetically programmed to
    be big.  
    
    Don't worry, I'd say Paul is doing fine!  Unless your pediatrician
    tells you that he needs to lose weight, DO NOT restrict his food
    intake!!  Your pedi may want him to start using low-fat dairy products
    if you haven't already started.  Outside of that, I'd try to relax and
    enjoy!  

    
    re. 20
    
    As long as your son is not fat and your pediatrician is happy,
    don't worry about it. Sounds like you are feeding your child
    healthy foods. Kids come in all different sizes. 
    
    Eva

    
    I'm not really concerned about Paul's eating habits.  Just curious
    as to how some kids could weigh the same weight and be years apart. 
    But, whoever said kids come in all shapes and sizes are right.   
    
    My husband was adopted so we always wonder what is going on with Paul
    probably more than usual.  I remember when Paul was an infant and
    really chunky.  Keith was forever worrying that he was going to have a
    fat child that would be teased in school.  :)
    
    FWIW, both Keith and I have pretty big bone structure.  He is 6' and I
    am 5'7.  
    
    cj
    
    

    
    Going back to the "failure to thrive issue", Jayit has got one
    "failure to thrive" on one of his evaluation. We are receiving 
    very mixed message about this. 
    
    Jayit is below the curve regarding weight but his own curve although
    below others but looks identical ie going upwards in the same gradient.
    Height wise he is in the 5th percentile. Let me mention here that me
    and my husband are not tall people so if he continues at the rate that
    he is growing he would be 5'6" which is the avarage height of indian
    male.
    
    Some doctors say that we should not be concerned about any of these
    becasue the charts are flawed and / or children is colder climate grow
    taller than hotter areas (something to do with metabolic rate), this
    idea that what ever is your height is at 2 years you are going to
    double that by 20 ect. So it remains to be seen how tall this guy will
    be ! But otherwise he is an extremely happy, very social, learnign
    thinking and active kid. And as long as his own curve is going up he
    should be fine. What we have to be careful is that he is growing
    mentally and weitgh/height wise.
    
    So I dont know what to believe any more. Does anyone have a better grip
    what "failure to thrive" means.
    
    Kasturi 

Though I can't answer your specific question, I can repeat what my 
pediatrician told me.  He told me that when he looks at the growth
curves, all he cares about is the growth pattern.  He's looking for
an upward curve.  He doesn't care if the child is below all the
curves (provided the child looks and acts healthy), or above all
the curves or smack dab in the middle.  A growth pattern such as
a flat line or a large increase which doesn't appear to follow
the typical growth curve pattern starts him asking questions to
try to figure out whether there's something bad going on, or if
it's just "normal" for that child.

Hope that helps...

- Deb B.

Failure to thrive simply means failing to grow/develop at an acceptable rate.
If he's growing, and just smaller than all the rest of the kids his age, that 
should be acceptable.

As long as he's growing, and HIS growth chart shows progress, everyone should 
be happy.  Failure to thrive tends to take a much longer time to determine, 
probably over 8-12 mos or more, with no growth change.  

I think it's Jason who was always off the charts on the small side - but when 
you charted his own growth, even living off of thin air and water, and an 
occassional chicken nugget, he was still growing.  I don't know how it does 
it, and I'm sure my biology teacher would have a hard time explaining -- but
he does.  

And most importantly, his height/weight has always been consistent.  They 
don't like to see them, for instance, gain 3 inches, but no weight.  Or 5 
pounds, but still be the same height.  

Try to relax - I know it's very stressful!!  Jonathan's my "good" eater, and 
for 3 days he had nothing but a bite of turkey and cheese, which he 
spit out, proclaiming it YUCKY!, a few fingerfuls of mashed potato and corn, 
and a couple of ice creams (hey, at least there's milk in them! (-:)  
Thankfully he managed 1/2 bowl of cereal this morning!  What a relief!!

Make sure they do get plenty to drink though.  ...do freeze pops count? (-:

    I'm also getting constant comments about my 2 year old being "so
    petite".  She is 34" and only 22 lbs.  But, the doctor's comment is
    that she is 50% on the growth chart and 20% on the weight.  She's been
    consistent since she was 9 months old so he's not worried.
    
    As with Jonathon, she spent 2-3 days eating virtually nothing (had a
    bad cold and is teething).  We pumped plenty of liquid into her (juice,
    water, even soda!) and figured she'd come out of it.  Sure enough,
    yesterday she ate a whole waffle for breakfast and an entire pack of
    Oriental noodles for lunch.
    
    Irene

    If your child is not listless and is growing on his or her curve I
    would worry, but I have "fairy" children.  My Dr. had fits about Carrie,
    until she had Allie, and found out some kids will be under the curve
    until they figure out how they are supposed to grow. 
    
    If they had taken Lolita's measure, she was supposed to be four feet
    tall when she was mature, and she is 5'6" at 22.  All three of my kids
    have been well below "the curve" between 12 months and 5 years, and
    suddenly shot up to average.  Carrie was beow the 2 percentile until she
    was 5, a failure to thrive indicator, although she walked, talked and
    was well advanced ahead of her peers at the same age.  She is now 75
    percentile of height and 50 percentile of weight and well advanced
    scholastically, having just missed the "cut-off" for gifted and
    talented.  My Dr. is much more relaxed having also had a fairy child,
    and merely remarks on how much bigger Atlehi is than Carrie.  She
    wasn't our Dr. when Lolita was small, so she had no idea how our family
    hits "the curve."  
    
    My answer to people who don't know our family is that we aren't raising
    prize cattle, and our kids do just fine.
    
    meg

    Also have a 2 year told that is a very picky eater ... her idea of
    eating dinner last night was to throw her spagetti on the floor ... and
    when I went to pick it up, she poured her juice carton on my head. 
    
    The doctor suggested that one approach to getting more calories into
    her was to give her more fattening foods ... put margarine on her
    vegetables, cream cheese on her bagel, a hoodsie cup for dessert.
    
    Another question is ... how long is she going between meals?  I was
    having trouble getting her to eat at 6:00pm, then discovered that the
    sitter was giving her a snack at 4:30-5:00.  It was only a cracker or
    cookie and milk, but was enough to kill her appetite.  I found it
    easiest just to try eating at 6:30pm instead ... by then she was
    hungary again.
    
    Finally, have you tried every other alternative for foods?  I know
    they're high in "chemicals", but my daughter seems to love all the chef
    boy-a-dee pasta meals ... the kind in the little plastic containers ...
    ravoli, lasagna, beef a roni ... and 90% of the time, she'll eat at
    least some of it.  She also loves peas, so I'll throw a few teaspoons
    of those in as well.  Sometimes I think we all just assume that our
    children will like the foods WE like ... I just bought all the
    different pasta children's meals, and tried them out one at a time.
    
    good luck!
    Robin 

    My 8-year old, Joe, went through the living-on-air period between 2 and
    5, when he just never seemed to eat enough to keep a flea alive, and
    only ate a few foods (the peanut butter and jelly stage, we called it). 
    He was nearly always at 95% of height (or better) and in the 90's in
    weight, as well.
    
    He's on the carbohydrate push now, because he's been deep into "I hate
    veggies" since he came off baby food - a lettuce salad now and then,
    and he likes an occasional radish.  He hates all red meat except
    burgers, and has recently begun to choose chicken more often than
    burgers when in restaurants, at home, etc.  He won't eat pork or lamb,
    and only likes shrimp and fish 'n' chips from the undersea world.  He
    won't eat anything with tomato sauce on it except pizza, only likes
    bologna, turkey and sliced chicken lunch meats, prefers wheat bread to
    white, and won't have milk in his cereal.  
    
    I grew up with the rule that you didn't have to clean your plate, but
    you had to taste everything on it.  I am about the least picky eater I
    know, and tried to bring Joe up that way.  Unfortunately, my husband is
    right up there with the average two year old for fussy eating, so Joe
    has grown up with some real defined dislikes.  
    
    It's a hassle, to say the least.  About a year ago, I put my foot down,
    and told Joe he would either eat what I cooked for the family (or a
    reasonable facsimile of it) or he would fix his own food (which limits
    him to sandwiches and microwave pizza).  He's become a little more
    adventurous about food since then, and we're making some progress. 
    I have hope that this child's eating habits can be saved!
    
    My watch word with the 2-3 year old set is to only compromise so far --
    make sure they understand that they can have a variation of what's
    being served to the rest of the family (i.e., Joe has always eaten his
    pasta with butter and cheese or a little olive oil, spices and cheese,
    'cause he *hates* tomato sauces!), but that you won't make a whole
    separate meal for them.  I've also always believed that catsup covers a
    multitude of sins - whatever your child doesn't like may taste lots
    better to them dipped in catsup.  I've gotten Joe to eat many a dish
    he'd turned his nose up at if I offered a little catsup on the side.
    
    Go figure - catsup is great, pizza is great, tomato sauce is
    bad...kids!
    
    M.
    

Gee ... I WISH I could get my 8 year old to eat such a huge variety!!

These are the only foods that Jason will touch;

Spaghetti with hamburg (but not meatballs!)
Mac and Chz (ONLY Kraft spirals)
Chick Nugg (only 1 brand or B.K.)
Hot Dog (only 1 brand, and only occassionally)
Cereal (most types, w/ milk)
Ham Steak (only occassionally)
Pepperoni
Pizza
Corn with TONS of salt and butter
Egg noodles (only occassionally)
White meat grilled chicken w/ no skin, and no sign that it's been cooked.
Rolls with butter
Salad w/ Italian dressing (well, lettuce only - nothing else in it)

NO seafood, no beef (except in his spag), no pork other than ham, and only 
white meat chicken (NOT to be confused w/ turkey).  Absolutely NO lunch meats, 
Once in a great while he'll choke down a peanut butter sandwich, but that's 
it.  It sure makes mealtimes fun!  The good news is that his older brother 
used to be the same till he started REALLY growing, and found a greater need
for more food, and more complex food, and is now a much more agreeable eater.

Sometimes I wonder if I should just spend a week cooking really disgusting 
food, so they're appreciate more "normal" foods ...
    
We grew up with the rule of "eat everything on your plate", which only ever 
made us fat.  Probably not a problem for my stick-figure sons who take after 
their dad .... but hey, I don't want to be forced to eat - I have a hard time 
forcing them!