Conference moira::parenting

    I've also seen alarms that attach to the child and the parent, if the
    child is ~ feet away (25 maybe) the alarm will sound.  I would think
    that would be a good backup (I've seen them in Walmart in Amherst NH).
    
    sandy

    Do it! 
    
    In fact I would recommend getting "bungee" bracelets" that hook
    _every_one together when you go out into the crowds.
    
    When I was 18, I became detached from my party when the person in front
    of me's belt loop snapped. [yes, I was holding on] I was able to keep
    them in sight, but it took me about 15 minutes to get re-attached.
    
    This was on Canal Street on Saturday night at the Endymion parade. It
    was a _nice_ crowd, just very dense.
    
      Annie

   And there's also the one that is a cord attached to the back of a
   torso harness.  The harness zips up (the back, I think), and gives you
   a pretty solid riegn (sp?) on the kid.  
   
   Yes, it looks like you're putting your kid on a leash, and yes, you
   might get strange looks or comments from folks who don't understand.
   But I bet most of these folks wouldn't help out if you had to start
   looking for the little one, either!
   
   I've never had to use one, but if we ever got to a situation like you
   describe, I would strongly consider this style over a wrist-strap
   style.  IMO, the wrist strap would be too easy for the tyke to remove
   themselves.
   
   ymmv,
   
   - Tom

    I think 3 yrs. old is the age those "leashes" were designed for!  I
    know I used one on my 3.5 yr. old when we went to Disneyworld years
    ago.
    
    Linda

Like .3, I suspect the wrist strap would be useless.  It might work for a
younger child, but 3-year-olds can probably escape easily enough.

    And whatever you end up doing, DRILL it into your child's head, that if
    they get separated, to find a policeman, ASAP.
    
    This summer, Greg (then 3) took off when we were at a parade (4th of
    July?? in Nashua).  We were going crazy looking for him for ~10 mins,
    and couldn't find him anywhere.  The police just laughed at me when I
    asked (since there were so MANY people!), but it turns out that, Greg
    had gone towards downtown, realized he was lost, saw a policeman, and
    told him he was lost.  The cop had a death-grip on Greg so he wouldn't
    take off again (he's known to bolt....), and his dad happened to be
    nearby.  We got him back safe and sound, but it was a REAL LONG 10
    mins!  So make sure your kids know what to do or where to go if you get
    separated (as well as your spouse!).
    
    

    [I think I've mentioned this before]
    
    My sister was prone to wander off as a child. [I'm a fair bit older
    than she and I watched her a lot]. I used to attach a 6-foot dog leash
    to myself and hand her the other end. [yes, we got strange looks] I
    told her that if she let go, I was liable to wander away and get lost.
    I got "lost" _quick_ the first time she let it drop. She had the
    responsiblity of keeping me from wandering off and getting lost.
    
    It worked with her from age 3 until age 7 when she started wishing I'd
    just get lost ...
    
    However, I would not recommend this solution on Canal Street or Jackson
    Square during the Mardi Gras.
    
      Annie
    

    
    I, too, would use the torso "leash" rather than the one that
    attaches to the wrist.  When my son was 2, we use the wrist
    "leash" when we were going to be in at Laguardia Airport for
    a 6 hour layover.  He escaped in no less that 1 minute and 
    I spent the rest of the time either chasing him or desparately
    trying to entertain him so he would not run away.
    
    Another idea though, is to get a dog leash and attach it
    to the back of a pair of overalls.
    
    Pam

    We purchased both a harness and a wrist strap for my daughter as we
    were traveling over Christmas and I knew the airports would be mobbed.
    
    The wrist strap velcroed on and my sixteen month old has NO trouble
    with velcro.  Therefore the wrist strap was useless.  The harness is a
    much better solution IMO.  I had a short leash with mine.   
    
    I think a man I saw at Logan had the right idea.  He had a retractable
    pet leash attached to his son's harness.  This way he could allow his
    son more freedom in the areas that weren't crowded, yet shorten it when
    the crowds were heavier.  
    
    We didn't use it much, as we also had her stroller, which seemed a much
    safer solution....especially in Atlanta where the crowds were heaviest.
    I am glad we bought it though, and I'm sure we will have a need to use
    it again.
    
    We purchased ours at Toys R Us.  They were in the safety section.  I
    am not impressed with the quality and feel the harness is a little
    flimsy with a cheap zipper.  I saw many other people with better
    harnesses than the one I had.  I bought mine at the last minute though,
    and didn't have time to shop around.
    
    Kristen
        

    
    
    I would imagine that The Right Start (catalog or store) would have
    a decent quality harness.    
    
    I've only been to Mardi Gras once and my memory of it is somewhat
    foggy 8^) but I'd definitely want something secure for a small
    child (and possibly even the 6 year old!) in that atmosphere. 
    
    Perhaps I hit all the "wrong" places in my visit, but I'd think 
    about a blindfold too!
    
    cj/       

    I would definately but some sort of harness on.  I think the Right
    Start Store/Catalog has a few "better quality" harnesses.
    
    I'm against wrist straps for few reasons.  The child can easily take it
    off; a potential threat (kidnapping) could easily take it off; and the
    childs arm could be injured if he decided to bolt in one direction
    while you were headed in another direction.
    
    As far as worrying what other people thinks... I wouldn't care, as long
    as I felt comfortable that my child was not going to run away or be
    stolen.
    
    There are also backback carriers in the hiking stores which will carry 
    a child of that age.  A bit expensive though.
    
    
    Joyce

    A cheap alternative is to put a belt on the child backwards
    and attach a dog leash to that.
    
    My mother used a harness with a zipper on the back for my
    youngest sister.  She had no fear and would wander off in
    crowds, in stores, you name it.  That was before Velcro
    was invented.

    My view on wriststraps is very different to most of the previous notes.
    
    I have been using one since my daughter began to walk and still use it 
    today (in VERY crowded places - eg shopping in the January sales!).  
    Kathryn is 5.  
    
    I have to say that we do also hold hands, and she is good at doing this.  
    So, the strap is there for added security in case we get separated by crowd
    pull.
    
    The one I use does have velcro fastening, but only at the parent end. 
    The other end (attached to the child) is a like a sliding buckle for 
    want of a better description.  It cannot be undone completely, merely
    loosened for putting on and off.  The distance between parent/child can
    also be changed..for the most part mine is set at the shortest
    distance.
    
    As yet, my daughter has never (up til now!) been able to loosen it.
    
    I have to add though that we would never have purchased one that had
    velcro fastening at both ends - in fact we were strongly advised NOT to
    buy those by the specialist baby shop we visited.
    
    Jackie

>    There are also backback carriers in the hiking stores which will carry 
>    a child of that age.  A bit expensive though.

A bit tiring for the parent, too.

> A bit tiring for the parent, too.

Yes, I could not believe how tired I would get after a day at the mall with my
daughter on my back when she was about 12 months. I figured ~15 pounds of kid
and 5-10 pounds of pack and supplies wouldn't be much, but after a few hours you
definitely notice it! But it was very secure, she loved it and I loved it. I
think she enjoyed being able to see what was going on. This is worth considering
when you are going to be in crowds of adults; all the little one is going to see
is knees and belts, and you will probably end up carrying him half the time
anyway. Given the choice of carrying in your arms or on your back, the backpack
wins hands down, no backache. On the other hand, a 3-year old who does not like
a backpack could be a problem.

    
    
            One more vote for the harness.  We went to the Grand Canyon
    this past April and used the harness for our 3 1/2 year old.  We walked
    down some of the trails (tho not too far!), and although we held her
    hand, I just felt safer that the harness was on her.  No strange looks; 
    in fact, we saw others with harnesses on their children (and many positive
    comments from older folks who told us we had the right idea).  At 3 - 
    3 1/2, kids can try to be awfully independent (I know mine were!)
            As for the backpack, although I agree with the noter who says
    that the child will be able to see much more, I think that a child of 3 
    will prove to be very heavy for the backpack-bearing parent.  YMMV......
    
    
    
    Nancy
    
    
    
               

    In addition to the wrist leash that we used for my daughter, I
    always made sure that I inserted an identification card in one
    of her pockets.  It listed her name, our name, where we were staying,
    the people we were staying with, their address and phone number.
    
    It gave me peace of mind to think that if she did get found by a
    policeman (or hopefully, a nice person) that they would know where
    to start to return her.
    
    We never did get separated because I was so paranoid about it, but
    you never know.  Even today, when she goes to the movies or we go to
    the mall, she has a card in her pocket.  She's older now (9) but
    if she were panicky and crying, she may not remember or be able to
    speak clearly.
    
    Diana

    Oh, I read something in Reader's Digest about a mother
    who had all her children (and adults) wear the same 
    color shirts.  It was easier to pick out in a crowd
    and she could easily remember how to describe what
    the child was wearing.
    
    Also, another thought.  I have my kids wear whistles
    when we are skiing.  We accidentially got separated at
    a very odd lift line in the middle of a slope.  She
    called for me, but half the female population responded
    to "MAW!" (I hate that!).  It's plastic, so their lips
    won't freeze to it in the cold weather.  I didn't hear
    her call for me.
    
    When I was in the eight grade I skied off a slope into
    very soft and deep snow.  I tried to put my ski pole down
    into the snow and hit something solid so I could right myself
    - NOTHING.  I was in a human knot.  I could move my arms but
    there wasn't anything there to support my weight, just soft
    snow.  I was face down in the snow.  I was skiing this run
    alone, another no-no.  Instead of panicing I started laughing,
    and wouldn't you know it, my Father skied by and rescued me.  
    That's another reason why the kids wear whistles.  You can
    only call for help for so long before your voice gives out.
    Have you ever read or heard a story about how some skiers 
    were left on the lifts overnight, because the lift operator
    thought everyone was deployed?  A whistle could have been a
    saving tool for them, and a lift rat with half a brain.

    Another vote for a harness, but I am a harness fanatic from way back,
    starting with Lolita (now 21 years) She wasn't prone to wander much,
    but Carrie was another story and I wound up traveling cross-country by
    train when she was 2 1/2.  The double decker trains west of Chicago
    require you to manuever down a spiral stair case which is metal and
    looks a lot like the stuff escalators are made from.  This while
    potties were still a novelty so I was up and down those stairs a lot
    with her.  The train "rocked" as we were going down the stairs on night
    and she flew across the stairway.  However since I had the harness in
    my hand I was able to keep her from crashing into the wall, or worse
    falling the 10 feet to the metal floor.  It was also very  useful in
    crowd situations in Reno, not exactly the most kid-friendly place in
    the country, but that is a long story too.  
    
    With Atlehi I use it if I am going to be in a crowded area.  It is too
    easy to lose a little in some situations.  The velcro wrist straps are
    not an option, as she hates them and has the cuff unfastened as soon as
    I put it one.  It also would be useless in situations such as the one I
    had with Carrie on the train.  It also would have made me a nonexistant
    human, as my mom tried to dive overboard on a ship from Miami to
    Panama.  There again a harness saved her life, as the lunge overboard
    was out of my grandmother's arms, but the harness and leash held.
    
    meg

I used the harness to save Evan from harm once, too, though I don't remember
where he fell.  I only remember the weight in my hand (of the child's body
supported by the harness) and being afraid it wouldn't hold (it did, and he
was fine).

I suggest harness plus either bright yellow or red shirts.  The same color
shirts for the whole family, if you can, because it really does work. 

        Carol

    I too used a harness for my son -- he used to enjoy pulling me on it! 
    I didn't use it for my daughter, for some reason she never wandered
    much and still, at 8, likes to hold my hand when we're out [I enjoy
    that too!]  The looks I got, and comments "Looks like you're holding on
    to a dog's leash" I mostly ignored, my feelings were you wouldn't want
    to lose your dog, I feel that way about my child. I did buy the velcro
    wristband strap thing and didn't like it much -- too easy to pull off.
    
    I remember my mother using harnesses when we were young, of course,
    that was the only restraint in the car at that point. {how did we ever
    survive w/o seatbelts, car seats and bike helmets?! [rhetorically asked
    of course]}

    
    Another thought on all of this may be to try to find a sitter.  Have
    you ever seen the ad for "COPS: Too hot for TV"?  It's a video with
    outtakes from the COPS show, that can't be shown on tv (for good
    reason!).  We got the tape.  I'd estimate about 1/4 to 1/3 of the
    footage is taking place during mardi gras, with LOTS of nudity, cross
    dressing, fights, drinking and more.  It seems that a popular thing is
    for women to stand on balconies, and 'flop' themselves out of their
    shirts, for all the crowd to see.  The police simply asked them to put
    their shirts back on when they noticed the crowds stop moving, to avoid
    congestion on the streetsbelow.  They could still flash - just had to
    "take a break" from it.  (I think there was a guy there as well, but
    not positive on that).  Anyone else ever been??
    
    Sure not a place I'd want to take my kid... Hope you have fun!!
    

    
    The nudity is usually in the French Quarter.  I grew up in New
    Orleans and never saw any nudity during Mardi Gras.  There are lots
    of parades in the Garden District and Metairie that are perfectly
    fine for families.
    
    Joanna
    

    I agree that there are lots of safe places to go during Mardi
    Gras.  I certainly wouldn't bring my kids to the French Quarter at
    night, only for beignets during the day!
    
    My father is from New Orleans and we have many relatives still there.
    The reason for the trip is a family reunion it only happens to be
    during Mardi Gras time.
    
    All my relatives know safe places to bring the children, but they
    still will be crowded.
    
    Thanks for your concern.
    
    Judy