| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 1051.1 | Sooo tired! | ALFA1::PEASLEE | | Mon Nov 20 1995 12:23 | 22 |
| I can certainly relate to your note. I just turned 40 (TODAY) and I
have a 15 month old that I am still breastfeeding. She seldom sleeps
through the night and needs less sleep than I do. She runs around
NON-STOP (no exaggeration).
I used to work out and run pre-baby, but now the only exercise I get
with her is chasing her. I do try to eat nutritious meals and I take
vitamins. I've lost all the weight I gained during pregnancy and then
some so that helps.
I don't do any housework when shes awake, I want to spend
time with her, not the laundry! We had a cleaning lady come in a
couple of times a month and that was a big help. (We are looking
for someone new.)
I am really amazed that I haven't gotten sick or ended up in the
hospital with the schedule I've been keeping.
Thank you for your note - I'm glad I'm not alone!!! But I wouldn't
trade my life for anything, amidst all the fatigue I'm very happy!
Nancy
|
| 1051.2 | | MKOTS3::MACFAWN | My mother warned me about you... | Mon Nov 20 1995 12:28 | 32 |
| Steve,
I have an 8 year old and a 5 year old and yes, I feel really tired at
times too. What my husband and I try to do is this:
Saturday morning, he gets to sleep as long as he wants and I get up
with the kids. On Saturdays we also clean the house, which means all
the laundry, sweeping, vacuuming, toilets, tubs, dusting, etc. With
both my husband and I doing it, it goes by pretty quickly so we still
have some time on Saturdays to do family things. By the way, while
we're cleaning the kids are playing with their toys that they don't
seem to have time for during the week.
On Sunday's, it's my turn to sleep in and hubby gets up. This way we
each have our quality time with the kids, we each get our much needed
rest and still have time for the family stuff. After I get up, we get
dressed and we're off doing fun stuff.
We don't sleep all day, just til 9:00 or 10:00. The house is cleaned,
so we don't have to worry about that except for the little things like
dinner dishes, and picking up here and there during the week.
Also try going to bed a little earlier just one night during the week.
I do this on nights where there really isn't too much on TV. In a few
weeks you'll probably feel more rested. It doesn't happen overnight.
I hope it's not "old age", just "busy parent syndrome".
Relax...this too shall pass!!!
Gail
|
| 1051.3 | Make the mundane interesting... | EDWIN::WAUGAMAN | Never make it up to Coeur D'Alene | Mon Nov 20 1995 12:32 | 22 |
|
> Does everybody feel like this? How do you cope, try to increase your
> energy level, or try to accomplish more?
Sleep less, so you can do more, at your own pace. I run on about 5
hours of sleep these days, and feel better for it. The "energy level"
you speak of is 90% a psychological state of mind. Exercise is one
way to get there but I've always found regular exercise programs to
be a pain in the butt, that you end up feeling guilty about where
time constaints don't allow you to maintain them. I'll settle for
something in between, where I'm just active, even if not strenuously,
for more hours.
Another thing I'll do to get the kids and me up and moving in the
mornings is to get up, and immediately crank up some music while we
get our acts together. It's an alarm clock but much more interesting.
We have a lot of fun with it, and it can lift the spirits and that
energy level to start the day...
Glenn
|
| 1051.4 | | WRKSYS::MACKAY_E | | Mon Nov 20 1995 12:51 | 41 |
|
Steve,
In my house, Mon - Fri is really hectic. It doesn't
get that much better timewise, because older kids have
extra-curricular activities, even though they don't need
constant attention and can help out.
Here are a few things we do, your mileage may vary.
- We have a housecleaner, who comes every other week
and does the major cleaning (floors, bathrooms,
dusting and vacuuming).
- For dinner, I try to keep the prep and cooking
time under 45 minutes. Lots of pasta dishes and
chef salads. During the summer, I get my kid to
help with dinner and the dishes.
- We don't fold any laundry that doesn't need folding
(underear, towels, sheets). Anything that has to be
ironed goes to the cleaners or stays in the stores.
My daughter to color-sort her own laundry.
- We take vitamins and mineral supplements everyday.
It helps tremendously. We eat healthy too, but
the supplements make a big difference - it takes
3 months to notice the difference. I make sure I can
fresh air, sleeping with window open slightly.
- We make sure we have each have some time away from
the grind each week. For us, tennis is the private
time.
- We try to shop in bulk, thus each grocery store
trip is shorter and no emergency run is needed.
When I shop I go when nobody is there.
- In the summer, my daughter waters the flowers,
feeds the cats and helps with weeding.
|
| 1051.5 | try being pregnant if you want to be tired! | MPGS::HEALEY | Karen Healey, VIIS Group, SHR3 | Mon Nov 20 1995 13:13 | 35 |
|
re: .0
How cold is your house? My husband and I tend to keep our house
around 64 and sometimes thats too cold! Once I get chilled, I
bundle into a blanket on the couch and tend to get real sleepy.
Moving around certainly helps keep me from being cold but if
I'm just relaxing, I'm out. I find I have alot more energy
in the summer.
I'm pregnant with my second child and am exhausted! I fall asleep
by 9PM everynight. I try to keep awake but if I'm relaxing,
reading a book, I'm out! Only problem is, I wake up at 5AM,
after 8 hours of sleep. I'm tring to get myself on a 10PM to
6AM schedule. I've decided, no more reading in the evenings.
Instead, I'm going to work on one of my craft projects that
are piling up.
Other things that may make you sleepy:
* eating too much at dinner
* sleeping too much (yes, believe it or not... ask your doctor!)
* your contact lenses ... dry eyes make for sleepy eyes
* stress
* this time of year ... lack of light makes you depressed which
may make you sleepy
Things to wake you up:
* don't stop moving! keep yourself busy.. once you stop, night night!
* exercise
* proper diet
Karen
P.S... I'm 31 and hubby is 32.
|
| 1051.6 | | OOYES::WEIER | Patty, DTN 381-0877 | Mon Nov 20 1995 14:38 | 43 |
|
I'm 32, and have 3 kids. Up until very recently, I could be classified
as a "single parent". Tired? Why? Aren't you SUPPOSED to be tired??
I have to agree with Glenn - it's more of a frame of mind!
I *CAN'T* be tired - there's too much to do, and too little time to do
it in. Much the same as I CAN'T be sick. Period. It's just not
negotiable. I try to get to bed by midnight - some times I'm more
successful than others. I try to get up ~6:30am. And when I start
getting that "OHMIGAWD I'M SO EXHAUSTED I CAN'T MOVE!" feeling, I try
to get to bed by 9pm, AND the next morning, I dose up on vitamins --
THIS helps tremendously. And not just your average 1-a-day ... I have
some of those "super athlete vitamins" that have 10,000 times more than
what you really NEED, and end up taking them a few times a month. I
find I feel better doing THAT, than taking a lesser vitamin each day.
The "boost" gives me the kick in the butt I need.
Of course, my house isn't usually fit for company, but I do think that
a LOT of it is attitude. If I look around and see something that
NEEDS to be done, and decide to do it, I just won't LET myself be tired
till I stop. THEN I crash like a big dog - and find I sleep much
better for it.
Are you sleeping okay? Are you sure you're really EXHAUSTED when
you're falling asleep? Or are you just bored/tired, and being more
"lazy"?? If someone said "Hey Steve! Let's go out and have a blast
doing a-b-c!" do you think you'd find the energy??
Finally, I did notice many months ago, that in spite of being
exhausted, I couldn't sleep worth beans. Rolling and tossing and
turning all night. I narrowed it down to caffeine. If I drink
ANYTHING with caffeine in it after about 9pm, I won't get ANY decent
sleep at all, no matter how tired I am. I think that THAT is old age -
because I used to be able to drink a cup of coffee and fall right to
sleep, without a problem.
One last point - chronic exhaustion can be a sign of depression. OR if
it's only recently, make sure that your heating system is
well-ventilated. Maybe you've got a carbon monoxide leak?? Have any
headaches to go with that sleepy feeling??
SLEEP?!? What's THAT?!? (-:
|
| 1051.7 | Think young....Be young | MKOTS3::REILLY_R | | Mon Nov 20 1995 15:39 | 14 |
| I'm going to be 41 in Feb. my wife is 37. We have a 3 1/2 year old and
she keeps us running. About 2 years ago our routine was to be in bed
(sleeping) :))) by 10:00 . I have 1 hour drive to and from work.
Today.... We go to sleep @11:30, I get up @6:00am. We not only have
more energy but less colds, and even lost weight..my wife droped 3
dress sizes....me 4 inches on my waist.......HOW well without going
into a whole thing....We started eating low fat.high fiber 30% fat or
less....walking more....and the biggest was a new vitiman/mineral
supplements.........they run us about $2,50 a day....but Centrim and 1
a day did n't seem to help us>>>> if you need more info e mail
me mkots3::reilly_r.......
I think the important things are Diet/excercise/ and think young ;^)))
Bob
|
| 1051.8 | | CNTROL::JENNISON | Revive us, Oh Lord | Mon Nov 20 1995 15:44 | 31 |
|
We tend to deal with the fatigue by taking turns. Only
one parent is allowed to be totally burned out at a time ;-).
Actually, we've been lucky that it has seemed to work out that
way, but perhaps we play a part in making it happen. If I know
that my husband is at the end of his rope, I'll get up early with
the kids, or get up first when one of the kids gets up at night.
Then, when I'm really starting to feel it, I just pretend I don't
hear anything, and my husband gets the hint.
Last night, I was so tired I thought I'd be out before the kids.
Then, because I had to motivate to get them to bed and to make
lunches for today, I got a second wind and stayed up until 10:00.
Usually, if I just keep moving beyond that initial urge to hit
the couch, I find the energy to get a few critical tasks done.
We do both exercise, which I think helps immensely. I try to
fit most of my workouts in during lunch, with one evening aerobics
class. Also, I work a 4 day week, which gives me Friday to shop
for groceries and get my 1/2 of the housework done. I cook, hubby
does the dishes, so each of us gets a few minutes alone at the
end of the day. Baths only get done twice a week, which saves
time, too. That's once more a week than we got when I was a kid
;-).
I take vitamins, which seem to help, and try to get no less than 7
hours of sleep a night. Some people can live on less; I can't.
Karen
|
| 1051.9 | Here's another one of my 'lists'. | NETCAD::CREEGAN | | Mon Nov 20 1995 17:38 | 178 |
| Hi Steve,
My husband travels 2-3 weeks a month, so I'm raising a 10, 8 and 3
year old by myself on the weekdays. I get more frazzled then
exhausted. But exhaustion is not uncommon.
Some of the things I do that helps me is:
- I aim for 9:30 bedtime every night. I must have eight hours
sleep. Last winter I didn't catch any colds or flu's. I
attribute that to really working on getting 8 hours of sleep.
- The children who take on more household responsibilities get
better bedtimes, but still age appropriate. This is a status
symbol. Dessert is also a great motivater (sp?). "Dessert tonight
if the toys are all picked up!"
- I've been big into the new Total Raisin Bran. I get my fiber
and my vitamins. It's about $4.30+ a box. I bought the vitamins
and never remembered to take them.
- The kids only get baths twice a week. I'm amazed to hear about
parents who do it every night. What a lot of work that is!
- I make a list the following day in my calendar of things I
accomplished the night before:
- 1 load laundry
- cleaned out Tupperware cabinet
- washed sheets and made bed
This helps motivated (sp?) me (your mileage may vary). I've been
doing this for years. I'm not kidding it really forces me to
strive to get things done.
- We have a cleaning lady come every Friday. The house is clean
for the weekend and the stress is off to get things done. My
husband is a neat-freak. He wants the house clean all the time.
He doesn't feel it is his job to come home from a trip and clean
a house that was messed up by me and the kids. I feel: HEY, the
kids are alive; I'VE DONE MY JOB! We solved this problem by
hiring help.
We have a different cleaning person every other week. If one
is sick, or takes a month off in the summer, the other cleaning
person comes in. That has been a great thing for us.
- I make lots of lists and try to give myself time to get things
done. For instance, I try to buy a birthday gift 2-3 weeks before
the birthday. I hate last minute shopping, it makes more stress
(Money or McDonald's/restaurant gift certificates in a crunch).
- I have a grocery shopping list printed in my phone book. If my
husband volunteers to do the shopping, it only takes me a minute
or two to check off what I need/want. I always check off Tampax,
just to see if he'll buy me any. To date, not. Maybe someday,
before menopause. :-)
- It's OK if the kids have a bowl of cereal for supper every now
and then.
- I cook chicken, de-bone it and put it in containers in the freezer.
I make casseroles with it during the week. It's quick and easy.
- I try to cook two of something and freeze one when appropriate
(meatball, lasagna, etc). That way I only have to clean up the
making-it mess once.
- Cooking is a lot of my home-from-work activity, so let me hit
on this a bit more. My twin has a theory she sticks to and
loves. One weekday night they either have pizza or go to the
mall to walk around and indulge at the food courts. This is
relaxing for her. She enjoys it and the kids get to walk around,
especially in the winter, although the air conditioning in the
summer is rewarding, too.
- On days that I have to be somewhere immediately after work with
the kids we might have a crock pot dinner. A whole chicken
washed and thrown in with a couple of carrots on the bottom
to prevent any of the chicken getting pot-burns. Rice reheated
in the microwave, the chicken aroma in the house and a healthy
meal, nice.
- My kids are enlisted to help with everything! The 2 oldest now
empty the dishwasher. I find food still caked to some dishes
and bowls in plates in the strangest places, but at least they
are helping out. One sets the table the other clears, one sweeps
the floor, the other starts the dishwasher. I wash the pans and
put the left-overs away.
One feeds the birds, one feeds the dog. One puts out the trash
one puts out the recyclables. They whine and complain like I'm
a slave-driver. I think, "Did I sound like this when I was a
kid?" My Mother assures me, I did. Well, I never! :-)
- I let my husband sleep late in the mornings. He was NEVER a morning
person. Recognizing that, for some reason took me such a long time.
In return, I take naps on the weekend when the 3 year old goes down
for a nap. Now I can stay up late with him on the weekends and
still not feel drained and we get to spend late night quiet time
with each other. This is a pleasant arrangement for us.
- Meltdowns are the worst.
Someone (kids) is over-tired and I can't play good-cop/bad-cop
("I'm too tired to handle this one, your turn.") when my husband
is traveling. These nights are the worse, they happen about once
every 3-5 weeks. At that point in time it's just time for everyone
to go to bed. Bedtimes are thrown by the wayside and it's time for
EVERYONE (me, too) to go to bed. With the house quiet and the
lights down low, it doesn't seem to take long for the tired-ness
to take it's course.
- Restaurants during the week are too stressful for my family.
I expect them to be well-behaved and they are tired, so I save
that now for the weekend.
BAKERY MEAT-FISH STAPLES VEGETABLES
__ __ __ __
!__! BREAD !__! BACON !__! BISQUICK !__! ASPARAGUS
!__! CAKES !__! BEEF !__! BAKING POWDER !__! GARLIC
!__! COOKIES !__! CHICKEN !__! BAR-B-Q-SAUCE !__! BEANS
!__! CRACKERS !__! COLD CUTS !__! CAKE MIX !__! BEETS
!__! DONUTS !__! FISH !__! CANDY !__! BROCCOLI
!__! PIES !__! HOT DOGS !__! STUFFING !__! CABBAGE
!__! ROLLS !__! HAM !__! CHILI !__! CARROTS
!__! BAGEL/MUFFIN !__! HAMBURGER !__! CHOCOLATE !__! CAULIFLOWER
!__! LAMB !__! EXTRACT !__! CELERY
BEVERAGES !__! LIVER !__! KING ART FLOUR !__! CORN
!__! BEER !__! OYSTERS !__! JELL-O !__! CUCUMBER
!__! COCOA MIX !__! PORK !__! HONEY !__! LETTUCE
!__! JUICE !__! ROAST !__! JAM-JELLY !__! MUSHROOMS
!__! JUICY JUICE !__! SAUSAGE !__! KETCHUP !__! ONIONS
!__! SOFT DRINKS !__! SHRIMP !__! MACARONI(/chze)!__! PEAS
!__! KOOL-AID !__! SPARE RIBS !__! MAYONNAISE !__! PEPPERS
!__! WINE !__! STEAK !__! MUSTARD !__! POTATOES
!__! COFFEE/TEA !__! TURKEY !__! MILK-CANNED !__! RADISHES
!__! VEAL !__! NOODLES !__! SAUERKRAUT
DAIRY !__! OLIVES (/Blck) !__! SPINACH
!__! BUTTER MISCELLANEOUS !__! OIL-COOKING !__! SQUASH
!__! CHEESE !__! ALUMINUM FOIL !__! PANCAKE MIX !__! TOMATOES
!__! COTTAGE CHEESE !__! BLEACH/CLOROX2 !__! PEANUT BUTTER !__! TURNIP
!__! CREAM !__! WAX PAPER/BAGS !__! PEPPER
!__! CREAM CHEESE !__! COMET !__! PICKLES FRUITS
!__! EGGS !__! DISH SOAP !__! POTATO CHIPS !__! APPLES
!__! EGG NOG !__! FABRIC SOFTNER !__! PRETZELS !__! APRICOTS
!__! MARGARINE !__! IVORY LIQ SOAP !__! PUDDING !__! BANANAS
!__! MILK !__! SOLO DETERGENT !__! RICE !__! BERRIES
!__! WHIPPED CREAM !__! MATCHES !__! SALAD DRESSING !__! CANTALOUPE
!__! YOGURT !__! PAPER NAPKINS !__! SALT !__! CHERRIES
!__! SOUR CREAM !__! PAPER TOWELS !__! SHORTENING !__! GRAPEFRUIT
!__! COOL WHIP !__! TOILET PAPER !__! SOUPS !__! GRAPES
!__! MOZZARELLA !__! PAPER CUPS !__! SPAGHETTI !__! LEMONS
!__! !__! S.O.S. PADS !__! SPICES !__! LIMES
!__! GARBAGE BAGS !__! SUGAR (/Brown) !__! ORANGES
PET FOODS !__! TURKEY COOK-BAG!__! SYRUP !__! PEACHES
!__! DRY !__! TOOTH PASTE !__! TOMATO PASTE !__! PEARS
!__! CAN !__! TISSUES (PUFFS)!__! TOMATO SAUCE !__! PINEAPPLE
!__! !__! TOOTH PICKS !__! VANILLA !__! PRUNES
!__! ADVIL !__! BAKED BEANS !__! RAISINS
!__! PLASTIC WRAP !__! POP CORN !__! STRAWBERRIES
BABY NEEDS !__! SPONGES !__! TACO SAUCE !__!
!__! DIAPERS !__! FREEZER BAGS !__! CORN SYRUP !__!
!__! WIPES !__! TAMPAX (/Pads) !__! BROWNIE MIX !__!
!__! POWDER FORMULA !__! TYLENOL !__! CUPCAKE CUPS !__!
!__! (W/iron) !__! MOUTH WASH !__! DRY NAVY BEANS !__!
!__! JAR FOOD MEALS !__! SHAMPOO !__! NUTS (/pecans) !__!
!__! JAR FOOD FRUIT !__! SPRAY CLEANER !__! PIZZA SAUCE !__!
!__! !__! RAZOR BLADES !__! MARSHMALLOWS
!__! !__! SPIC N SPAN !__! MEATBALL MIX FROZEN FOODS
!__! COPPER SCRUBS !__! CEREALS: !__! FRENCH FRIES
CANNING NEEDS !__! Q-TIPS !__! CHEERIOS BIG! !__! LEMONADE
!__! LIDS sz:_____ !__! DIAL SOAP !__! ___________ !__! PIZZA
!__! PARAFIN WAX !__! DUTCH CLEANSER !__! ___________ !__! ICE CREAM
!__! PETCIN/CERTO !__! COPPER CLEANER !__! STARKIST TUNA !__!
!__! JARS sz:_____ !__! DEODORANT !__! SOY SAUCE !__!
!__! "FRESH FRUIT" !__! SOFT SCRUB !__! !__! VEGGIES
!__! !__! PRE-WASH !__! !__!
!__! !__! CARBONZA (RUG) !__! !__!
|
| 1051.10 | Who's getting old? | ASDG::HORTERT | | Tue Nov 21 1995 08:35 | 16 |
| Don't feel so bad. We're all in the same boat. My husband and I are
29 and we have a 2yr and 1yr old and one on the way. And we couldn't
even stay up to see Monday night football! It's true as soon as we
sit down or lay on the couch.. we're out! It's hard on us though cause
I work days and he works nights, so we're constantly trying to shift
things around. But he gets his day "away" mostly to do active things
like softball, football, etc. and that gives him a boost of youth.
I don't have time. I know a lot of it is our diet. It's rush this
rush that, eat the donut in the car on the way to work. So we are
also trying to eat better. I don't think we'll be able to sleep
better for some time, but I know that we are going to try harder
to get that 1 day or night "away from the kids" every month.
Keep hanging in there!
Rose
|
| 1051.11 | A day in the life | CSLALL::JACQUES_CA | Crazy ways are evident | Tue Nov 21 1995 08:57 | 26 |
| Well, I know why I'm exhausted all the time. No mystery there!
I'm a single parent, I have the worse diet in the world (the eat-
what-I-can-afford diet, sometimes Fritos for lunch), very rarely
get dinner because getting Angeline's cooked and in her is such
a chore.
Baths every other night for Angeline, play time the nights in
between, then it's her bed time between 7:00 and 8:00 and Ma Ma
follows shortly after. That is, after trying to get some food
and clothes ready for the next day. Most of the time I'm too tired
to even bother, and have to rush through that in the a.m.
Work out???? I remember those days!
Drag myself out of bed by 5:00, maybe get a shower or breakfast
(it's one or the other), start detonating the bombs it takes to
get Angeline up (generally a 1/2 hour to 40 minute chore to get
her going), get her dressed and we try to be out the door 02by 6:30.
Throw in a night like last night, she cried most of the night with
teething....Mom gets up at 6:00 in a panic.... and, well ....
That's my life.
I love her dearly and don't begrudge her a minute of it. :-)
|
| 1051.12 | you're not alone! | PASTA::UMBRELLO | | Tue Nov 21 1995 10:13 | 25 |
| Steve,
I don't have any answers for you, only that I can sympathize with you. My
husband is 40 and I am 37. We have a 19 month old who is FULL of energy
and another on the way (due 1/28/96). We both work full time, plus my
husband has a second job where he works a couple nites and saturdays and I
go to school a couple nites. I rarely get to bed before 11:00 pm and I'm
up at 5:00 am. I always feel tired and am learning to live with it. I
take prenatal vitamins, plus iron pills during my pregnancy, but my life is
so full right now that I still feel exhausted all the time. I fell asleep
at my desk one day last week at work!! A girlfriend of mine told me a few
years ago before I even had any kids, that once you do sleep becomes a
thing of the past. I do try to get to bed earlier on weekends (at least
one of the nights), but since I have homework which I cannot do until my
son is asleep, most of the time I'm still up until 11:00 pm.
I don't know how we're going to do it with two kids, but I am learning to
let some things go - such as housework. After reading many of the other
replys, I am seriously thinking about hiring someone to clean my house
once a week or so. My house is always a mess, but I choose to spend what
free time I have with my son. The trade-off is that I never invite anyone
over my house, so maybe a cleaning person would be a good investment for
me?
/Karen
|
| 1051.13 | another household heard from.... | AIMTEC::BURDEN_D | A bear in his natural habitat | Tue Nov 21 1995 12:13 | 36 |
| Pretty much the same problem here, we're both 34 with a 6.999 yr old son and 4.5
year old daughter. We teach Sunday school, Diane has 1 class a week for her
master's and both kids have been playing soccer which is 2 nights after school
for practice (same place and time, or we would not have done it) and games on
Saturday.
Fortunately soccer ended 2 weeks ago so we can breath on Saturday again...
We experience a lot of the same things mentioned in here. We tried exercising
but the time just doesn't seem to be there. We've found we need to devote the
time after work to the kids, until they go to bed. If we try to do something
for ourselves during that time it gets frustrating and wipes us out. It took
awhile for us to realize that and just give up on things until 8:30 or 9:00 at
night, but it does work.
We help them with homework, playing (you can't play with them if you keep
thinking about what else you could be doing) and getting ready for bed. It also
works much better if only 1 of us puts them down. If both parents try it, it
takes twice as long.
After the kids are down, we keep the noise down and do the house work or
whatever else we had planned. Thank goodness for 24 hour grocery stores as
well. With no interuptions, the work around the house goes much quicker and
you're motivated too. By the time 11:00 rolls around we're pretty tired and if
you stop, you drop.... But, you've accomplished a lot and sleep very well.
It all starts again at 5:30am, but on most days we're both refreshed. As
mentioned here before, once in awhile the late nights are just too much and
everyone hits the sack by 8:30 or 9:00, but that's the exception, maybe every 2
weeks or so.
We also try to do something Friday night, hit the mall or a fast food place for
dinner, go to the train store (for HO stuff) or *something*. It makes the
weekend seem longer.
Dave
|
| 1051.14 | Allowing yourself to be human | DONVAN::JOHNSON | | Tue Nov 21 1995 12:27 | 31 |
|
Being reasonable with yourself is a BIG part of how we deal with
work/home/life in general. Once I "forgave" myself for being tired,
and took a hard look at all that's going on in my life - not too
much different from everyone else in this note - that oppresive feeling
slacked off, and I felt better about the things I DID accomplish during
a week. Also - my husband and I allow ourselves 1-2 nights a month to
go ahead, flop into the bed if one of us is really dragged out - the
other takes care of supper/children/etc... Sounds silly - I supposed,
but it really helps knowing it's there if we need it.
Another thing that I do now, is cook as many week-night meals as I can
on Sunday night. This is easy for me - usually while my husband has
got the kids busy, I can "relax" in the kitchen, focus, and get into
making things easy for us on week-nights. Typical fares at our house
are Beef Stew, Soft Tacos with chicken, A Pasta Dish with Chicken,
maybe a meat loaf, (all have salads with them - made by my 12 yr old)
and we get to relax on Fridays - it's pizza night.
We - like another noter - did our cleaning on Saturday mornings, and
took turn sleeping in on the weekend (sleeping in at my house is
anytime after my little 17 month old gets up at 5:00am!) Now it's
gotten even better - my 12 year old has discovered the pleasure of
doing a good job and getting paid for it - he vaccuums, dusts, and
washed the floors on Thursdays, so all my husband and I have to worry
about week to week is basically laundry.
Like many others - it's exhausting, stressfull, and sometimes
tough...and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Tina
|
| 1051.15 | We're all in the same boat! | CONSLT::CHRISTIE | | Tue Nov 21 1995 12:37 | 56 |
| Hello everyone,
We have 2 children, one 10.5 months and one 5.5 and boy does it get
tiring at times.I'm 36 and my husband is 32 but I feel I things are
getting easier now that the baby sleeps throught the night. A few
months ago I was totally exhausted and felt terrible. I'm one who needs
8 hours sleep so most nights I'm in bed by 10:00. But it's a big
difference between getting woken upevery 2-3 hours and sleeping
straight through.
I think the only thing that keeps our family going is my working
part-time. Having fridays off gives me time to catch up on the house
and errands that seem neverending.
Some of the things that I find help are the same as previos notes esp
cookingbig batches of things and freezing some for future dinners.
Trying to cook something as soon as you walk in the door can be very
hectic. My husbandworks longer days than me so I handle all the morning
and dinner routines. By the time he walks in the door @5:30 dinner is
usually on the table and things have settled down.
I also think it's easier if you try and keep up with things. If you
pick up as you go along, throw in a load of wash when you let the dog
in (& then out again), put the dishes in the dishwasher right after
dinner ect, it doesn't seem as overwhelming. I'd love to have someone
come in clean but financially that's not an option.
And though my husband helps out around the house he also tends to
crash inthe evening saying he's to tired to move. Part of this I feel
is he does have a very physical job and he works long days but part of
it is just boredom. If he has a project he's working on (he's a
mechanic and enjoys messing around with his bike, tractor ect...) then
he'll find the energy to be in the garage. But if the vacuming needs to
be done it's a different story. At least our son is big enough to help
dad out now and they're spending more time together than when he was
little.
I do try and make time for myself sometimes and even if it's just
taking a walk after dinner or going out for a couple of hours with a
girlfriend I find it sort of recharges me so I enjoy my time with the
kids instead of feeling burnt out by them. I even try to look at work
as a break from the daily grind at home. I really wonder how stay at
home moms can do it sometimes. Sometimes I think it would make life so
much easier but other times I think I'd climb the walls. :')
So I guess it's hard to say what can help, I saw how fast my son grew
up and I try to appreciate all the stages my daughter's going through.
It definately gets easier as they get older but they'll only be babies
once.So I try to keep things in perspective and enjoy each day as much
as I can.
Barbara
|
| 1051.16 | It's nice to suffer together! | NETCAD::BRANAM | Steve, Hub Products Engineering, LKG2-2, DTN 226-6043 | Tue Nov 21 1995 12:50 | 18 |
| I'm glad to hear we are not the only ones who feel like this! And a few other
things:
- The house is not fit for company. Half the time I would be embarrassed to let
anyone in our door. Any neatnick would run screaming!
- The kids' don't always get a home-cooked meal. I think McDonalds and Burger
King are responsible for fully half the nutritional needs of the nation's
children.
- It's not necessary to fold every last scrap of laundry. I used to know a guy
who would iron his undershirts. Single guy.
- Doing a load of laundry and changing the sheets are accomplishments you can be
proud of. I used to aspire to world peace and an end to hunger, but now I have
more modest goals.
Pretty impressive for a couple of highly-paid professionals, huh? ;^)
|
| 1051.17 | | KMOOSE::CMCCUTCHEON | The Karate Moose | Tue Nov 21 1995 22:02 | 30 |
| Definite yes on having outside cleaners. When my wife got pregnant with
our 2nd and I realized what it'd be like with a toddler and her being
morning sick I required it. Its nice to have the house really clean
(if not neat) every few weeks. (We're both DECies, so co$st isn't an
issue...)
Also, don't let the kids mess somethign up without their helping to
clean up. Our oldest is almost 3. He doesn't get to do another activity
until he picks up from the first (pick up those blocks!). I'm willing to
help but if I do it all, he doesn't get to do what he wants, esp if it
involves a mess, next.
We're now training him to play by himself. It sounds silly, but until
his brother was born a month ago, he was the king of the castle. Now he
can not have a parent (even with trade offs) every minute he's home.
Also at day care he doesn't require this! We also make sure we do play
with him some.
Involve him in chores. He can't do them, but he can be nearby. He played
with blocks while I took removed the mildewy grout from the shower. I
paid him some attention, but he also primarily amused himself.
Take them on errands. He actually whines if one of us go out for errands
without him, he's so used to it. Makes it hard for shopping, as decisions
have to be fast (what color stain do I want; oops Jamie's grabbing again!).
And yes, go to bed early. Some things don't have to get done. (He says
typing late at night from work, after going home to get the kids in bed...)
Charlie
|
| 1051.18 | You're not alone | BASEX::WERNETTE | | Wed Nov 22 1995 10:07 | 15 |
| Not too long ago I wrote a similar note asking fellow noters how
they cope, I got a lot of good suggestions. One friend suggested
I keep a list of things to do - this list should include everything
I wanted to accomplish. I found this suggestion very helpful - I
list even the smallest things such as dropping the mail off at the
post office. I find by following a list I am more organized, get
more accomplished and feel much better about things in general.
What a boost at the end of the day to see I accomplished twenty
tasks (hey, I list everything). It may help - you'll find you do
a lot more than you realize and the feeling of accomplishment will
feed your energy level. Also, as many people mentioned, a good
vitamin really helps.
Good luck,
Terry
|
| 1051.19 | Yet another "You are not alone" note | PERFOM::WIBECAN | Harpoon a tomata | Wed Nov 22 1995 10:37 | 14 |
| Not everybody finds lists quite so motivational. I generally find them good to
prevent forgetting about something, but it gets bothersome to look at the long
list of things still undone after months and months of being on the list
(including things that I meant to do every day!). It is really hard for a
fundamentally disorganized person such as myself to be organized, regardless of
the technique used.
We, too, are in the same boat, and I don't know what the answer is. I do
recommend as frequently as possible paying somebody else to do the work you
don't want to spend your time doing (housework, mowing the lawn, gardening,
repairs, etc.). That helps us out a lot. Beyond that, I'm looking at the
suggestions here myself!
Brian
|
| 1051.20 | | KMOOSE::CMCCUTCHEON | The Karate Moose | Fri Nov 24 1995 14:36 | 7 |
| My wife's a list person. She basically lists the things she "has" to
do. My opinion would be to drop the things from the list that you never
get to. If after a few months you still can't find the time, then its not
important. The list should be for things that can not go undone without
consequences (mad grandmas or IRS!).
Charlie
|
| 1051.21 | | USCTR1::16.124.96.220::pelkey | life aint for the squeamish | Mon Nov 27 1995 15:11 | 22 |
| Isn't it amazing how tiring living clean can be ???
8^)
I agree with one previous reply, it may not be a physical
tired, but you should try talking to your Doctor...
They usually have sound advice, they know you, and they
(most anyway) know anatomy...
for me, I find running between 15 and 25 miles a week helps
keeps my energy level up.. I know, cuz when I slack off,
wham, I'm a walkin zombie somedays.. Tuff to start a running
program in the winter though, so, I dunno..
but really, if you haven't already;
call you Doctor's maybe there's something they can do,
best of luck,, hope you feel better soon..
/ray
|
| 1051.22 | 3 things to try | MSBCS::MIDTTUN | Lisa,223-1714,PKO2-1,M/S J30 | Tue Nov 28 1995 12:53 | 33 |
| Well, I'm a list person, but I do understand that lots of folks see
lists as a hinderance vs. a help. The only advice I can give is:
- Grin and bear it or ignore it! Easier said than done, but being a
list-maker, I had to learn to adjust my 'must do' list when my kids
came along...Try sanity checking your 'must do' list w/ someone else
You'll likely be amazed as stuff you think must be done that others see
as optional
- If you can't do the above:
- pay someone else for the "must do" stuff (or the stuff
you truly know you won't or can't do)
(note: getting a quote in and of itself can be a big
motivator to do it yourself!)
OR
- break the job down into discrete tasks...While you might
not be able to get it all done in one night, a little
progress is helpful (and you only have to psych yourself
up for an alotted amount of time vs. 'til it's done!) I
find I tend to overemphasize the real time it takes to
complete most jobs and that keeps me from starting...
OR
- enlist the help of friend/family for the bigger things
in return for your help on one of their projects....
Sometimes in the sharing it goes faster and everyone wins
(this assumes you're a 'Yes' person whenever anyone else
asks, but have trouble saying yes to your own stuff!)
|
| 1051.23 | | OOYES::WEIER | Patty, DTN 381-0877 | Tue Nov 28 1995 15:23 | 17 |
|
RE: The 3rd item in .22 ....
I could/would NEVER ask for stuff that I really needed help with,
especially when there was a lot to do.
Now what I do, especially when there's a lot to do, is make up a list,
and put a star next to the things that ANYONE can do. There are some
things I prefer to do myself, so this lets others know, easily, how
they can help out. And interestingly enough, I find myself "starring"
the littler things, but feel immensely better when they're done "for"
me.
Hohoho .... if the house stays clean till x-mas I'll be psyched!! (-:
Hahaha....
|
| 1051.24 | | NETCAD::BRANAM | Steve, Hub Products Engineering, LKG2-2, DTN 226-6043 | Wed Nov 29 1995 12:29 | 3 |
| You mean we have to clean up for Christmas???
8^)
|
| 1051.25 | | NPSS::HYLNDR::BADGER | Can DO! | Tue Dec 05 1995 12:49 | 11 |
| Hey Steve, I'm a little late getting into this. Your kids will soon
be getting to the age where you'll be doing a lot fo running. Scouts
will start in a year or two.
We volunteer a lot. We keep so busy that we're too busy to know we're
tired. A lot of problem is habit. We're used to doing a lot of stuff,
it's habit. Heading for the easy chair can be a habit.
Find an interest and involve the whole family. and keep going. its
fun experiencing life rather than being a spectator.
ed
|