Conference moira::parenting

    Go to a lawyer.
    
    I don't know where you live, but the laws vary by state, and you'd be
    surprised what some of them are. Plus I assume that since you are
    putting the note in here, you have children, and you need to take care
    of them in the will by specifying a guardian for them as well as a
    trustee for the property they will either inherit or which will be used
    to take care of them.
    
    And depending on how much property you have, you may want to look into
    a trust. We have done regular wills twice, both done before we had
    children, and we recently re-did our estate plan again. But this time
    we put everything into a trust and we have a pour-over will to avoid
    some estate taxes and to make sure everything does not have to go
    through probate, which is one reason to do a trust.  
    
    If you are in MA, I can recommend the lawyer who did our estate
    planning. I was very pleased with the work he did, and I tend to be
    very difficult to please when it comes to finances.
    
    Regards,
    Cathy

    Go to a lawyer.  Then there will be no question.  Since you are going
    to do this very few times in your life, you can think of spreading the
    cost over all that time.
    
    You can shop around by calling lawyers and asking for the cost.  They
    should be able to tell you given a few factors: got kids, etc.
    
    This is a good thing to do sooner rather than later. 
    
    

    Also, for those of you who have special pieces of jewelry
    or what not (tool collection, etc).  My twin is a lawyer and
    she suggests you mention all that outside of the will.
    Make note in the will that your jewelry (etc) is left in
    care of (___name___) a trusted relative or friend for
    dispersement outside of the will.  They will distribute 
    it according to your wishes. Then provide a letter to the 
    trusted relative or friend of how you wanted it distributed.
    The transition is handled more smoothly and if more articles
    are added to your "collection" they don't get caught up in
    the execution (interpretation) of the will. 
    
    And on a somewhat negative note, if you decide or learn
    later on that the person you wanted to leave your high
    school ring to (for example) was not the friend you thought
    they were, your will does not need to be re-written.  

    
    My husband and I did reciprocal wills earlier this year.  It cost
    us $100 to do through a lawyer.  They were very simple, stating that
    if I die, my husband gets everything and vice versa.  And in the case
    of us both dying, our children (Lauren was not named so that we do
    not have to write another will when we have a second child) gets
    everything, in trust until age 20.  We also named a guardian and 
    backup guardian in our wills (who was also to be the executor of 
    the trust/will).  All for $100.  I called four lawyers and got quotes
    of up to $250 for this.  I knew that was crazy since what we wanted
    was so simple.  When I saw it, it was basically a fill in the blank
    will.  All the words were very standard.  Just the names were
    different.
    
    Karen
    

I bought "WILL MAKER" software - what a waste. It was very 
complicated and after all of the interpretations, didn't appear 
to be very suitable. You have to know some of the basic laws of your 
state. 
Like Karen we got our lawyer to create a will for $100, - which basically 
the same type of setup. It was worth it and is a relief to have. We know 
that Cody will be well taken care of should anything happen to both of 
us. 
Note - We designated guardians but it was recommended that we come up    
       with a secondary guardian(s) aswell.

Ours was $250 and included:
-reciprocal wills
-guardians and "how to handle" the $ if both
 of us go.  For example: "the estate" is 
 paid out in stages; I think at age 18, 25
 and 30.  This can be overridden by the
 guardian.
-we also did consent forms for each of us
 allowing the other to make decisions 
 regarding our health if we are not able
 to do so.
-clause to handle "additional" children

It seemed like alot of money for mostly
boilerplate.  In the state of Washington
I was told by a lawyer friend make sure
you have a will, especially since our 
family is out of state.  So for peace of
mind the $250 was worth it.

    
    And there's a certain DOCUment PREParation service in Amherst, that I
    would absolutely *NOT* recommend under ANY circumstances, to anyone, 
    for anything, after having had the pleasure of wasting $150.00 on
    documents that *I* had to correct the spelling/typos on, and the
    information was transcribed WRONG, and other information was added.
    
    Go to a lawyer - this is important stuff!

    Reply to 1024.4......
    
    	I have a kit to  make wills. It's a fill in the blamk, also my
    husband has a program in his computer to do so also....So somewhere out
    there you can pick up a packet of the fill in the blanks will...I got
    mine from a salesman selling cemetary lots!! Cost me nothing at all and
    you can add whatever you want to it too....:) K.T.

    Be very, very careful using the fill in the blanks, or computer program
    type wills.  A lot of them will not stand up in court should it be
    contested (this from a friend who was recently appointed a judge).
    
    We spent $100 to set up reciprocal wills, a guardianship and a trust.
    The attorney spent an hour and a half with us discussing our needs,
    etc., we even have a paragraph on what to do with our dogs should the
    need arise.
    
    /Susan

Like all legal issues, I think this situation is  covered by the 
    
    			"it depends".

    The main issue is what is at stake and the complexity of ones personal
    situation.

If its a straight forward will, with minimal financial implications then
the "fill in the blanks" form works fine.

If its a complex situation, maybe previous marriage or kids, complex
life insurance, no close family or extended family, complex investments
etc etc; then an attorney is required.

Of course a will written in the US with the aid of a US attorney, may not
be valid in other countries, where the legal obligations are different, so
if like me, you live in a different country every few years, this whole 
situation can be complicated and expensive.

In fact almost all the "Computerized wills" are 100% geared towards US
law and you can not customize it - at least that was what I found with
several packages I tried out. I did provide that feedback to the developers,
but I guess the target is the US market only, so I don't think any changes 
are made in later versions. 

I accept that they have to avoid making it to generic and too customizable
to be of any use to a user.

    re a few back that mentioned something about "health care decisions"
    
    Again, your mileage may vary.  Living wills are not valid in all
    states.  Some states recognize a "health care power of attorney,'
    which gives someone you trust the authority to manage your medical
    care should you become unable to do so.  Other states do not.  
    Taxes and probate issues are different from state to state.  Pay the
    money, get a reputable lawyer.  Also, it is a very good idea to update
    the will every few years.  For example, if you have a big falling-out
    with the folks you designated as your child(ren)'s guardians....if the
    designated exeuctor/trix dies....if, God forbid, one of you beccomes
    disabled....if you'd rather leave it all to the local animal shelter...
    it's smart to plan ahead!
    
    
    

    Be careful about those reciprocal wills, especially if you have a lot
    of assets because you could end up paying more estate taxes that way.
    Most states follow federal guidelines, but there are a few that have
    lower limits, like MA which is slowing moving up to be in line with the
    federal limits.  But the way the taxes work, a spouse can inherit any
    amount free of taxes, but then when that spouse dies and the kids get
    everything, the taxes are now computed on the whole estate instead of
    just that spouse's half. This is one of the arguments in favor of
    putting and/or leaving everything to a trust that will benefit the
    spouse and then will pass on to the children because the kids will then
    inherit mom's half and dad's half instead of the whole thing at once,
    and that may be enough to keep your estate under the limit.
    
    And for those of you who think you will never make the limit [which is
    currently $600k per person], don't forget that this includes all your
    assets like the house and your life insurance. It can add up very
    quickly, so you really want to think about this.
    
    I still say you are better off to see a lawyer. Although it may be a
    little expensive, what you may save in estate taxes, probate [yes, they
    get a percentage, too], and headaches for your children may well be
    worth it. And if you think the will may be contested, that's another
    reason to see a lawyer.
    
    Everyone should have a will particularly if you have children.  If you
    die intestate, the state's laws will determine who gets what, and in
    MA, I believe the spouse gets 2/3 and the children 1/3 or something
    like that. So that means that if your spouse dies and your house is not
    held as a joint tenancy, the children will now own a portion of it. 
    Just try selling that while they are still minors. And it gets worse.
    The parent may be requied to document all expenses relating to the
    children and reporting back to the state on how their estate has been
    spent including things like social security benefits if there are any.
    I have a friend who ended up in this position. You wouldn't believe the
    bureaucratic nightmare this can be, and how you can be required to
    document expenses you would normally just decide on your own for your
    own children.  These laws desparately need an overhaul, and I believe
    it has started to happen, but I'm sure they have a long way to go.
    
    Cathy

    
    
    In NH where we live, my Mother in law would be entitled to 50% of what
    my husband owned if he died.  When I heard that you can be sure we were 
    sitting in a lawyers office within a week!!!!!
    
    We also have designated guardians for our children to whom we are not
    related, which of course required careful documenting.