Conference moira::parenting

    There is a FABULOUS book called _What's_Happening_to_My_Body?!
    --for_Girls, and of course there's a "--for_Boys" too.  Tonight I'll
    look up the ISBN and the author, but you could have your bookstore do a
    search (paperback, around $14 I think). It's frank, thorough, funny, 
    well illustrated, and written by a woman who teaches "health" classes
    which include this material.  She emphasizes (frequent) parent-child 
    talks and reading (at least parts of) the book together.  One thing I
    like about the girls' book is a page with a series of "full frontal"
    line drawings showing progressive physical development.  Another thing
    I like is the author's reassurance about various quirky ways
    development can take place (one breast starts to grow before the other,
    etc.).
    
    All aboard the Puberty Express (Alex is 10.5)!
    
    Leslie                   

The group that puts out the "Our Bodies, Our Selves" book for women also has a
book for teenagers.  It's called "Changing Bodies, Changing Minds" I believe.
It covers all aspects of puberty for both boys and girls.  It seems very 
complete, very frank, and also quite liberal.  (For example, it recognizes
that heterosexual is not the only sexual orientation.)

						Tracy

    Thank you for pointing out those books.
    
    I'll try to get him one soon....to be prepared....
    
    I've got my ticket for the Puberty Express.....Can I drive????

    forget driving the PE, just surviving it takes a sense of humor,
    bravery and sometimes plain, dumb luck.  
    
    meg

    Just be thankful you have a boy!!!  I hear their alot easier through
    puberty than girls.... I have a 12 year old girl!  God help me...
    
    -Terri

    The What's Happening to my Body? Book for Girls
    by Lynda Madaras with Area Madaras [her daughter, age 13 at the time]
    Newmarket Press, NY
    ISBN 0-937858-98-6

    re .5
    
    I don't know, I have lived through one teen girl, and a friend through
    three girls and a boy.  She prefers the girls, even with some of the
    biological functions that can come as a consequence of raging hormones.  
    
    It is just a difficult time for anyone, as there is the need for
    seperation from parents at the same time the child/adult also needs
    to remain close.  For me, a sense of humor was critical the last time
    through this.  However, Lolita and I actually started to like each
    other again by the time she was 18, and even get along well now that
    she is 21.  Between 14 and 17 I would have entertained any serious
    offers of taking her off my hands at least once a week, while she went
    through the total rebellion stage.  (In my case she worked for a while
    at becoming "Miss Wannabe Yuppie" something incompatabile with our
    income and lifestyle ;-)  )  
    
    My house wasn't "nice" enough, particularly since we were in one of the
    nastier remodeling jobs, our family wasn't what she thought we should
    be, our politics embarassing, the fact that mom hunted incredible, and
    the fashion cop came down on my wardrobe and hairstyle on a daily
    basis.  Interesting as she is now studying Natural Resource Management,
    dresses in college-student grundge, is more liberal in some ways than I
    am, and firmly believes in wildlife management through hunting, as well
    as reintroduction of predators in some areas.  This isn't a study area
    one gets into to make lots of money, but the outdoors has gained in
    appeal over the years.
    
    A friend who lives in the kind of house, lifestyle and income my
    daughter wanted me to, said she was ready to send her child to live with
    me.  Her teen could care less about appearence (No, she was very
    carefully selecting her teen uniform), didn't want to bring her
    friends over as they would be "intimidated", etc., etc.  This child is
    studying Political Science and Business with an eye toward business
    law.  Go figure.
    
    

    Sense of humor during puberty:
    
    My mother refers to puberty as "Eight-grade-itis".  (ie: appendicitis)
    
    When one of her five girls came of age and decided to wear
    make-up, she referred to them as coming down with "dippy-doddle-itis".
    
    She also knew when to ignore us during our smart-ass stages.
    
    I'd never want to go back, it's a very strange and painful 
    process of leaving childhood and pushing onto adulthood.

i have both a boy and a girl, both in the early teens...

My son will be 16 and my daughter is now 14...

who ever made the comment they heard boys were easier than
girls, is getting bogus info....  I'll say this, they're
DIFFERENT, but each experience had it's own percent of
hell bundled with it...  in my sons case, right around
peak puberty (14) he fell for a girl who was 1 year and a half
older than him, and looked like a 20 year old Runway Model.
Talk about a ride....  Man!  She had him thinking Marriage and
Kids, inside of 6 weeks....  he was convinced, this was
the woman for him,...  THAT was A LOT of FUN fvor mom and dad...
Yoikes..  I still shudder whne I think of it..


anyway,m We've gotten through it, so far, though.  

What I learned though all this is you just gotta take it
Day by Day...  We've all been there, and of course, though we
we're there not so long ago, we still 'Don't know what we're
talking about' so expect to not know ANYTHING until your son
is about 25,, than miraculously, (according to your children)
you'll learn eveything in 10 years!!  He'll be amazed at how much
you learned, ------  you'll be amazed too...  Cuz it never really
changes, just the climate is a little different...  again,
day by day, try not to lecture, more than you listen..

Puberty is a cake walk compared to the other things kids
can amuse them selfs with, (like drugs,,, fer example...,,, 
oh just wait, it just keeps getting better, and better...)


/r

    I looked at the book, "What is Happening to My Body?".  This book
    is not quite what I am looking for.  It goes into **explicit**
    detail on several topics that I do not feel is appropriate for my son 
    at this stage.  I think it is more of a maturity level type issue
    than what *age* he is.  I will keep it in mind for the future, though.
    
    Thanks again for the info and replies....