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Conference moira::parenting

Title:Parenting
Notice:Previous PARENTING version at MOIRA::PARENTING_V3
Moderator:GEMEVN::FAIMANY
Created:Thu Apr 09 1992
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1292
Total number of notes:34837

929.0. "Waterbed or not to Waterbed" by ANGLIN::GROOMS () Thu Mar 30 1995 11:00

    After many hours of reading this conference, and its predicessors, I
    can't find a note regarding my situation.  Our son is 18 months old,
    at 14 months he decided he would crawl out of his crib, and nearly fell
    on his head.  Once monkey boy realized he had the power to escape there
    was no keeping him in.  At this point we purchased a small toddler bed 
    that would accept the crib mattress until we could decide what to do.  
    He loved it immediately and is very good about staying in it.  However 
    he is now getting to big for its narrow width, one roll to the left or 
    right and he's on the edge of the bed.
    
    So here is our dilema and contaversy, we currently have a queen size
    waterbed that sits low to the ground, and is a very nice bed.  I say
    lets move him into the waterbed and all is done, but my wife is scared
    of the waterbed, even though we sleep on one ourselves.  She thinks
    that a waterbed mattress won't give him enough support with his bones
    still forming, and he may somehow suffocate.  She also has some fear of
    the EMF from the heater.  I advised her that we could take out the full
    floatation mattress and put in a firmer waveless one, but this still
    concerns her.  It seems ok for him to sleep in our waterbed with us
    some times but I guess that is different somehow (mommy logic).  We even 
    considered pulling the waterbed mattress and putting in a regular queen
    size matress, but they are smaller than the waterbed mattress.  I really 
    don't want to tear down a very nice waterbed and put it in storage, go in 
    debt buying new bedroom furniture when we have perfectly good stuff now.
    
    So my question is, am I being stubborn, or is there a foundation for my 
    wifes concerns?  We called our HMO and got two exact opposite opinions.  
    The first nurse we talked to said that the waterbed was great for a child 
    and she had raised her children on waterbeds. The second nurse, and of 
    course the one my wife talked to, said do not use the waterbed as it 
    doesn't provide the support needed for his growing bones.  Help me out 
    here folks, whats best for our son?
    
    							Confused Father
    
    							Allen L. Grooms 
    
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929.1Ask him, but give him the rulesSTAR::SROBERTSONThu Mar 30 1995 12:2626
    Both my children, now 9 and 6, were immediately introduced to waterbeds
    shortly after birth!  I had a crib water mattress (no heater and that
    was the only drawback) for them.  My daughter, 9, has my conventional
    waterbed which has the full floatation mattress.  My son, 6, has a
    conventional bed.  Now both children prefer sleeping in the waterbed
    ESPECIALLY when they don't feel well.  They are warmer and 'comfy'. 
    both my children are active in sports and are growing well, have
    excellent strength and never complain of back aches or the like.  When
    my son sneaks into my daughter's room late at night he tends to sleep
    better and longer.  I'm sure this has to do with having someone to
    sleep with, but my daughter likes her waterbed and has slept in a
    waterbed since she was moved out of the bassinet at 2 months old.  I
    especially like the crib waterbed because it was more difficult for my
    son to climb out, although he succeeded anyway but it was more
    difficult and if he fell back into the crib the 'crash' wasn't as bad!
    ;).
    
    Hope this helps...
    
    Sandra
    
    P.S.  My daughter was moved into my waterbed when she was 3.  Also, a
    couple of years ago the original mattress sprung a leak and I gave her
    the option to choose a bed.  Needless to say, she was horrified that I
    would even consider getting her a conventional bed.  So, we went out
    and bought a new mattress and that was that!
929.2SAPPHO::DUBOISAnother day, another doctorThu Mar 30 1995 13:139
Evan got a waterbed for his 4th birthday, and loved it.  I wouldn't have put
him in a waterbed at your child's age, though.  I would also be concerned
about suffocation, particularly if the child were to get wedged between the
mattress and side of the bed (chest or head, either one). 

My view is, if there is even the remotest chance of suffocation: don't do it.
If something did happen, you'd regret your decision the rest of your life.

     Carol
929.3WRKSYS::MACKAY_EThu Mar 30 1995 13:2338
    
    re. .0
    
    We went with a traditional bed for our daughter even if my husband and 
    I swear by our full floatation waterbed. A lot of little reasons added
    up to that decision. 
    
    	- The EMF is not an issue since we only heat our bed during the
    	  day - we have a timer hooked up. There is controversy and we
    	  don't want to be a statistic ourselves. We put in the timer
    	  when I was pregnant.
    
    	- We didn't like any of the watercribs we saw and we also worried
    	  about suffocation.
    
    	- Our daughter slept on mattress and boxspring until she was 5 or
    	  so, so any fall was minor. She eventually chose a bunk bed over
    	  any other kind of beds because it was fun.
    
    	- We have cats with killer claws. They are not allowed on my 
    	  bed, but we want our daughter to choose for herself. We got
    	  her her own kitten over X'mas and the kitty has been sleeping 
    	  with her since. 
    
    	- I used to bring all sorts of things to bed when I was little.  
    	  Our duaghter isn't exactly a neat kid herself, so we don't want
    	  worry about holes in the mattress.   
    
    	- We figured a bunk bed probably last till adolescence, so she'll
          have another chance to choose a bed again.
    
    	- It is wicked, wicked hard to move a waterbed around and we have
    	  since the bunk bed, rearranged her room 3 or 4 times.	  
    
        For us, a regular bed is preferred.	
    
    Eva
     
929.4CSC32::M_EVANSproud counter-culture McGovernikThu Mar 30 1995 13:3711
    My kids have all been raised on waterbeds as we family bed our kids,
    and we have a king-sized waterbed.  I have not had a problem with 
    babies getting stuck between the mattress and the frame, my problem has
    been the hieght of some beds with underdressers when they let
    themselves down from it.  
    
    since I own a digital clock, portable phone, and a couple of other
    items that are for more emf-y than the heater, I haven't really worried
    about it.  
    
    meg
929.5Bed Rail?BOSEPM::PELLANDFri Mar 31 1995 14:1710
    
    
    Just a suggestion..Why not purchase a bed rail?  
    
    My 3 year old son is still in his Toddler bed and I bought
    a Fisher Price bed rail that's the length of the bed.
    The other side of the bed is against the wall.  He's had
    no problems in his bed at all and loves it.
    
    Chris
929.6I'd use a regular bedAKOCOA::NELSONFri Mar 31 1995 15:3816
    There are a lot of reasons to not put a baby or small child on a
    waterbed.  I think most of the data concerns babies under 12 months old
    who suffocated on a waterbed, because they couldn't free their arms
    or hands and lift their heads.  
    
    I forgot how old you said your son is, .0, but if he is under 3 I do
    not believe I would put him in a water bed.  And if your wife is that
    nervous about the possibilities, I'd respect her wishes.  I worry about
    EVERYTHING concerning my kids, and it helps me personally when my
    husband takes me seriously.  
    
    I hear what you're saying and everything -- I wouldn't want to take a
    nice bed down either -- but IMHO there is a little more at stake here
    than inconvenience.  I'm sure you feel the same way.
    
    
929.7WRKSYS::MACKAY_EMon Apr 03 1995 09:5011
    
    I think .6 brought up a good point about respecting the spouse's
    fears and wishes. After all, we are not trying to prove anything in a
    relationship. There may be a best option technically, but if one 
    spouse is not comfortable with it, then it is not a good option. 
    Getting all bent out of shape over a bed is not worth it.
    
    
    
    Eva
    
929.8Go conventional..TARKIN::VAILLANCOURTMon Apr 03 1995 15:1817
    Allen, I agree about NOT letting your child sleep in the waterbed
    yet.  They used to make waterbed cribs, etc, but now there are so
    many warnings about children and waterbeds (and so many people who
    ignore them).  If this is making your wife nervous, please go along
    with her on this!
    In regards to the queen sized waterbed, why not purchase an inexpensive
    conventional queen sized mattress.  You don't need a boxspring, it 
    will be like a platform bed. (Just make sure the mattress is high
    enough, and not one of the more shallow ones).  We did this with our 
    queen size waterbed, the measurement from side to side is exact, from 
    head to toe there is an extra 11-12".  What we did was put the mattress 
    square against the headboard, and put a rolled-up blanket in the open 
    space at the foot.  This is covered by a bedspread/comforter so you 
    can't even tell.  Then when your child is older, you have the option of
    switching back to a water mattress and the only expense you have
    is that of the mattress.
                     
929.9I vote NO!!!SOLVIT::POULINMon Apr 03 1995 18:1111
    I would definitely not put a child in a waterbed.  Please get the
    opinion of your Pedi or even a orthopedic?  Not that I don't value the
    opinion of the nurses you asked, but I think a qualified medical
    opinion would be safer.  I wish I had gotten one...
    
    There are mattress stores that sell mattresses that will fit your bed. 
    I know I just bought one and fits perfectly.
    
    Don't take the risk, it's just not worth it..  
    
    
929.10Everybody has an opinion, here's mineSWAM2::GOLDMAN_MAWalking Incubator, Use CautionTue Apr 11 1995 16:0328
    My son had a water-crib, and I will only say that it kept him warm in
    winter, cool in summer, and doesn't seem to have interfered with his
    physical development (he's big, healthy, and quite normal, it seems). 
    I didn't *choose* the water-crib, it was a hand-me-down.  My husband
    and I also had a baffled-waterbed until Joe was about 3, and he slept
    with us often.  We replaced the waterbed mattress when my husband's
    chiropractor had fits about it, and now use a cheap mattress in the
    king/captain's frame.
    
    But getting back to the original subject, *I* say that, unless you want
    to give up your privacy completely for a good long time, do not set a
    standard of the child sleeping with you all the time.  My son has
    always been welcome in our bed when he's had bad dreams, doesn't feel
    well, just wakes up in the middle of the night, whatever, but he has
    his own "space" and bed, and so do we.  Personally, I think that this
    is important for both the child and the parents.  It instills respect
    for Mom and Dad's needs in the child, and shows that Mom and Dad
    respect their child's privacy, too. 
    
    So, my recommendation is -- get a new, bigger bed, and a good long bed
    rail, just in case.  Might as well get it done with, rather than just
    get a bed rail as a temporary fix, when it sounds like your child is
    about to outgrow the crib-mattress anyway!
    
    My 37.5 cents worth...:)!
    
    M.