Conference moira::parenting

        I can help you with one point that you made in your note - circumcision
    would not necessarily have solved your problem. My son is circumcised
    and still had problems with adhesion. If you have consistently been
    told "don't worry" - I wouldn't beat yourself up - what more could you
    have done?

    I'm sorry you (and your son) are going through this...

    JR

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      Carol duBois, PARENTING Co-moderator
**************************************************************

    I'm going through this exact situation with my 6-year-old uncircumcised
    son.  We just visited a urologist last week to have the situation 
    looked at. 

    My son's foreskin is about 75% detached -- it's still attached to the
    glans in several places at the back "ridge". The urologist didn't 
    seem to be overly concerned. In fact, he showed me how to detach it:
    by holding the glans with a thumb and forefinger, and then gently 
    using a dry Q-tip to pull back on the foreskin. He detached a small
    area (~1/4" square) with very little pulling, but it was uncomfortable
    for my son.  The doctor said that he doesn't normally like to do this
    in the office because of the pain inflicted. He suggested I detach the
    remaining areas in a few sessions over the next month or two -- but 
    do it at bathtime.  

    I, too, have gone through a lot of anguish over this. I imagined the
    worst -- surgical detaching of the adhered foreskin and a resulting 
    less-than-perfect penis.

    I was very relieved to see how easily the foreskin detached. We put 
    Neosporin on the newly exposed area -- it was raw and hurt for a couple
    of days.  

    I think the most important thing at this point is to minimize the 
    emotional trauma that can result from the pain of these upcoming
    "detaching" sessions. I was very careful not to make a big deal about
    the Dr. appointment -- it was just a penis checkup. I don't want 
    my son to associate his penis with pain! 

    The doctor mentioned that if the problem was not resolved, he could 
    do a circumcision. I got the distinct impression that he was partial 
    to circumcised penises ...

    Good luck as you get this problem resolved. 
          

<                       <<< Note 874.1 by MKOTS1::RYAN >>>

<        I can help you with one point that you made in your note - circumcision
<    would not necessarily have solved your problem. My son is circumcised
<    and still had problems with adhesion. 

My doctor told me much the same thing.  We didn't have *problems* with 
adhesion, but I asked her about it from time to time as my baby grew into a 
little boy.  

With our son, we were more concerned about cancer of the penis than about
adhesions, though, since my grandfather had died of it.  Our doctor told us
that at every bath (at least twice a week) we should pull the foreskin down
as far as it would easily go and pour water on it (which would clean it).  
We have done this faithfully.  I don't recall if she said whether this would
also help with adhesions or not, but my son's foreskin now fully retracts 
(he's 6 1/2).  I enter this because other parents who may fear the same
problems might wish to try it, and because from my experiences there is
decidedly a *lack* of information from your average pediatrician about
uncircumcised penises.   Most, when I asked them what should be done regarding
an uncircumcised penis, gave me a blank stare.  

To the basenoter:  I wish you and your son well.  It sounds, from the 
previous note, like this will be less traumatic and less difficult than
one might fear.

   Carol

The following is being posted as a reply from the basenoter.

      Carol duBois, PARENTING Co-moderator
**************************************************************

   Thanks so far for the kind replies and reassurances - the strongest fear 
   I have at the moment is any pain my son may have to endure but I'm
   trying my best to keep "best face forward" - we have an appointment to
   meet with the Urologist on the 31st of January (thanks to a cancellation
   or else we'd be waiting until mid/late February !!!) and I've explained
   to my son that this is just to check/talk with the dr., nothing will be
   done at that time (at least nothing that hasn't been done before) and
   we'll talk more as the time gets closer.......

   I keep telling myself that *I* didn't do/not do anything wrong, that I
   did the best I could with the guidance I had/didn;t have, but there's
   still that MOM in me that wants my son to not have to go thru this 
   and wishes somehow I could have prevented it !  

   On thing I still have a hard time understanding is what people have said 
   about circumcized males still having adhesions - can anyone elaborate
   (here or via the mod) about this ?  Maybe it would make me feel a little
   less responsible, maybe not, I'm just trying to understand.

   I'll write again after the 31st in case people are interested in what 
   the dr. proposes.  In the meantime, thanks again and any other words of
   wisdom or reassurance still welcome !

        To echo the sentiment about lack of information from doctors....


    after my son was circumcised they told me to "put Vaseline on it"...

    so I did, each and every day - well, what they failed to tell me was to
    retract the loose skin, THEN put on the Vaseline. You see, the newly
    circumcised area with its cut will adhere more rapidly than any other
    area. This lead to a big problem when he was ~2 months old. I literally
    had to tear it apart - I won't tell you of the mistake I made with the
    material I decided to use to help with this - but I will say I very
    much wanted to resign from being a father and had visions of my son at
    21 on Oprah blaming me for his life of crime.

    For about two years I was constantly working on this area (this is so
    strange to look back on now) - it would cling and start to adhere if
    forgot to check. I guess my son got the "loose turtleneck" type cut -
    different cuts can lead to different problems.

    You did the best you could!
    You are not alone in this matter!
    The information sucks! I didn't even know the right questions to ask!

    Best of luck
    JR