Conference moira::parenting

    CJ,
    
    For Brad and Jessica's first Christmas, they were mostly interested in
    the paper and the boxes, so we wrapped everything!  But we also used it
    as an excuse to buy things they needed because they didn't really care
    about how many presents they got. For their first Christmas, we got
    them 2 of the Little Tykes storage cabinets [the ones will doors] to be
    used for toys since I think it's more organized and I don't like a toy
    box, and we also got the matching bookcase.  They spent the next year
    taking all their toys out of the cabinets so they could climb inside
    and play ;)
    
    Last year, they were 2 1/2, so we got them a bunch of clothes that they
    needed plus a few toys. I also filled their stockings with little
    things and once again wrapped everything.  One of the things they liked
    last year was a large Rubbermaid container with all sorts of art
    supplies inside.  I use that so they each have their own stuff, and
    they can dig it out whenever they want. This year, I'll be adding to
    that.  We found, however, that they had way too many things last year
    and went into present overload where they wanted to play with what was
    opened so we left some presents for later.
    
    This year ought to be great -- they'll be 3 1/2 and have been talking
    about Santa all year!
    
    Cathy
    
    

	Hi Cj,

	This is what I'm doing.  Lauren's first birthday and Xmas are only
	3 weeks apart.  On her birthday (12/3), I'm having a big party for
	her with primarily family attending.  I expect that she will get
	tons of presents then so I'm not going to do any Xmas shopping
	for her until after the party.  She will also get lots of
	presents for Xmas so my presents to her, this year, will just
	be essentials that she needs.  She won't care anyhow what she
	opens so I'll probably let her open my presents if she really
	wants to.  I just hope she is past the paper eating stage by
	then!

	My parents gave Lauren a savings bond last year for Xmas and they
	plan to continue doing that for her birthday and Xmas.  I think
	that is a great idea since children these days have too many toys
	anyhow.  

	I'm not going to tell anybody what to give Lauren unless they
	ask me because I think that is rude.  If I'm asked, I'll tell 
	them, not clothes because she already has plenty.  For toys, 
	anything that is appropriate for 12 months and up would be fine.
	If someone gives me toys appropriate for 18 months, well, thats 
	one less toy I'll have to buy next summer.  Basically, if she 
	recieves a toy that is inappriate for her age, I'll just put it 
	away until she is old enough.  I might suggest to some of my 
	family that it would be nice if they join together to give one 
	large gift instead of several small gifts.
	
	Karen

	

    
    I buy my daughters a nice christmas ornamant every year for one of
    their presents.  My oldest has a beautiful carousol that lights up
    and moves that she got for her first christmas from her grandfather.
    He passed away when she was four so it's become very special to her.
    
    I'll give the kids all their ornaments when they have there own trees
    someday......
    
    Kirsten
    

    For Sarah's first birthday (she's a May baby) we had a blowout barbq
    bash.  Of course she didn't realize what was going on at all, and did
    sleep through most of it, but we have a lot of friends with children
    Sarah's age and older that we hadn't seen in a long time and my
    grandparents were up from Florida and it just seemed right to have
    everyone together to celebrate.  Her favorite gifts: the boxes and
    paper.  For her second birthday we just kept it to family and bought
    her a swing set for her present.
    
    For her first holiday we had just family at our house, she got lots of
    clothes and some age appropriate toys.  She does get savings bonds from
    both families for birthday and holidays and I think it's great that the
    people who love her most are helping to give her a bright future.
    
    What I've done as a "special" present for each event is to buy her a
    book and inscribe it with the date and a message.  I've read to her
    since I was pregnant with her.  She loves to be read to and to "read"
    the stories to me and her dad; she has 2 book shelves full of books.
    Some of her books were mine from when I was her age and I hope that
    she'll pass these and the others onto her children some day.
    
    Susan

    Atlehi is the victim of being the 3rd child.  this year we did nothing
    special for her first birthday.  it was our experience that the kids
    didn't understand what was going on, abnd the extra added confusion
    sort of took to much energy out of them.  We saved the hooplah for next
    year when she will understand it better.  
    
    This year she will be old enough for the magic of the Solstice, and we
    will probably pull out the stops as far as all the decorations, etc. 
    We try to keep the gifts simple.
    
    meg

    My best advice where the baby is concerned: KEEP IT SIMPLE ! 
    They become overwhelmed so easily, especially when they are expected to
    'perform' for so many people for any length of time

    My 1st two, for their 1st b.day, I did nothing.  They had no clue what
    was going on, and it seemed like a lot of work 'for nothing'.  They
    each got a frosted cupcake, in their high chair (and in their hair, and
    on their clothes, and up their nose, and on the floor and everywhere!),
    and a couple of new toys, but that's about it.  They like the cupcake
    best!
    
    This year (eeek - a couple weeks!) Jonathan will be 1.  And I have no
    idea why, but I've got my heart set on a b.day party for him, so I
    guess I'm doing it.  Actually two. (groan!).  One for my side of the
    family, at my place (which serves the double purpose of showing off the
    new place, since I recently moved), and a different weekend, for his
    father's side of the family, at Dad's parent's house.  The two sides
    don't particularly get along, and there's 2+ hours between them (I'm
    from MA, he's from NH), so it's just easier to keep it separate.
    
    At my place, we'll have lunch (cold cuts, salads, lasagne etc), cake
    and ice cream.  Presents will be mostly clothes, and a few toys.  And,
    of course, The Infamous Cupcake!  Toss in a cup of apple juice, and
    he'll be one of the happiest kids on earth!  This party will be more
    for the 'adults' than kid-oriented.
    
    At Dad's, there'll be cake and ice cream, and probably some clothes.
    
    It's hard to find things they like at this age anyway ..... the
    wrapping paper seems to win out over everything!  (-:
    
    Let you know how it goes .... but FWIW, I never felt guilty about not
    doing anything for the other 2.  They just have no idea what's going
    on, and the stress of going through it all, and me being grumpy, and
    them missing naps, certainly didn't seem like they'd be happy about
    that!  A quiet day w/ mom and dad worked well....
    

When my daughter was little, I just would let her open a present a day around Christmas
time.  She wasn't interested in an extended session of just opening presents --
once open, she just wanted to play.

Now she can open presents for a long time, but still doesn't care if they are for
her or someone else.   She's 4.

Beryl

    Late to the discussion, but this is a subject near and dear to my heart
    ;^).
    
    For the kids' birthdays, we always have a special dinner (i.e., pizza)
    and cupcakes on the Big Day.  A family-oriented party is held on the
    Saturday/Sunday closest to their birthday.  James didn't have a "real"
    party with friends till he was 4 or 5.  Holly still hasn't had one...
    perhaps next year when she turns 4.  I am not in a big hurry to start
    the birthday party thing, probably because I never had one when I was a
    kid.
    
    As to Christmas....sigh.  For their first 2 or 3 Christmases, we gave
    them stuff they needed (i.e., clothes), things we knew they would like
    (books and stuffed animals), and stuff that *we* liked!  Only
    kidding, of course, but if toys looked "dumb" to us, we sort of figured
    the kids would think they were stupid, too.  (I'm talking about regular
    kid-type toys, like the play cash registers, cars, etc.)
    
    As they have gotten older, we've changed our focus a little.  First of
    all, neither my husband nor I think that we're obliged to buy a year's
    supply of toys every Christmas.  For another thing, his family live
    nearby, and they lavish lovely gifts on the kids.  For a third thing,
    they're still at the age where numbers count.  They don't understand
    that one large gift is the same as five or six small ones.  So we buy
    the small stuff -- the coloring books, the storybooks, the videos, the
    cars, the kaleidoscopes -- and wrap that up for them, too.  Which isn't
    to say we don't buy them nice presents.  We just try to restrain
    ourselves.  
    
    One way to let a little air out of the Christmas balloon is to
    celebrate St., Nicholas day on Dec. 6.  My family did this for a few
    years when I was in high school (back in the days when $5 bought a
    couple of cute little things!)...we girls would get nail polish, panty
    hose, barrettes, etc., my brother might get a toy car, a baseball hat
    he'd been wanting, a comic book...we'd all get the little gold foil-
    wrapped chocolate coins.  It was fun, and it gave us a giggle since
    we were well past the Santa days by that time.
    
    

    My little pumpkin is turning 1 on October 24th and I am having a big
    party at my parents house.  Of course, she won't really understand - I
    guess its more for the "grown-ups".
    
    As for Christmas, this is her 2nd and my hubby and I decided we would
    not get her anything, its not like she'll know.  We have bought her so 
    much stuff through the year, she really doesn't need anything.  We 
    are going to fill her stocking, wrapping some of the things -- she'll 
    love the paper more than anything!