| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 801.1 | | DELNI::WHEELER | Chickens have no bums | Tue Aug 09 1994 17:13 | 16 |
|
There are some really cute kids joke books at the library, and
through scholastic books. My son is into this also...
His favorites:
Why does a cow wear a bell?
cuz his horns don't work.
What did one hotdog say to another?
Hi Frank!
What gets wet as it drys?
A towel..
etc,etc..
|
| 801.2 | Elephant jokes | AYRPLN::VENTURA | Make the world your playground. | Tue Aug 09 1994 17:16 | 22 |
| Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
So he could hide in a cherry tree!
Did you ever see an elephant hide in a cherry tree?
No..
See how good he hides! (-:
----
Why did the elephant wear pink sneakers?
Because his blue ones were in the wash. (-:
----
Cute jokes I remember from when I was little.
Holly
|
| 801.3 | Because seven ate nine.... | CALDEC::KATIE | | Tue Aug 09 1994 18:03 | 10 |
| I remember one from a movie with Tom Hanks. I thought it was cute....
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.......
Katie
|
| 801.4 | | CSC32::S_BROOK | There and back to see how far it is | Tue Aug 09 1994 18:38 | 48 |
| My kids love these two elephant jokes ...
How do you know if there's an elephant under your bed ?
Your nose touches the ceiling.
How do you know if there's an elephant in your bed ?
You can see an 'E' on his pyjamas.
or a couple knock knock jokes ...
KK
WT?
Amos
Amos who ?
A mos quito just bit me.
KK
WT
Andy
Andy who ?
And y just bit me again!
KK
WT
Banana
Banana Who ?
Banana
Banana Who ?
Banana
Banana Who ?
Banana
Banana Who ?
Banana
Banana Who ?
Banana
Banana Who ?
Banana
Banana Who ?
Banana
Banana Who ?
Orange
Orange Who ?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?
|
| 801.5 | Pete/Repeat | CLOUD9::WEIER | Patty, DTN 381-0877 | Tue Aug 09 1994 18:39 | 11 |
| I like this, though it can get annoying after the 23rd time;
Q: Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete fell out, who was left?
A: Repeat
Q: Okay .... Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete fell out, who was left?
A: Repeat
|
| 801.6 | 3 more I remember from years ago.. | NOTAPC::PEACOCK | Freedom is not free! | Tue Aug 09 1994 19:01 | 17 |
| Why did the elephant stand on the marshmellows?
So he wouldn't fall into the hot chocolate!
What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
Nothing, it just gave out a little w(h)hine!
How do you stop a charging elephant?
Take away its credit cards!
- Tom
< hey, I didn't say they were good! >
|
| 801.7 | | WMOIS::PLANT_D | | Wed Aug 10 1994 10:25 | 7 |
| My manager told me this one from her son (5 yrs)....
Did you hear that they found Tony the tiger and Snap, crackle & Pop
murdered? They think it's a CEREAL killer!!!
Denise
|
| 801.8 | | NOTIME::SACKS | Gerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085 | Wed Aug 10 1994 10:32 | 6 |
| These might be a little advanced for 6-year-olds, but they'd probably go over
well with pre-teens:
What's Irish and stays out all night? Patio furniture.
What do you get if you put a bomb on a kitchen floor? Linoleum blown-apart.
|
| 801.9 | Cows and Ducks... | MROA::DCAMPBELL | | Wed Aug 10 1994 12:52 | 4 |
| What do you call it when you put a cow together with some ducks?
Milk and Quackers!
|
| 801.10 | credits go to Mickey Mouse | SUPER::WTHOMAS | | Wed Aug 10 1994 13:59 | 13 |
|
Coming up to someone who is pretending to be in a garden.
What are you doing?
Hoeing corn.
Where'd you get the corn?
From the last joke.
Wendy
|
| 801.11 | | BUSY::BONINA | | Thu Aug 11 1994 14:17 | 13 |
| As told to me by a four year old many years ago:
What's invisable and smells like carrots?
Bunny Farts
(everytime she told the joke she laughed like she was hearing if for
the first time)
|
| 801.12 | More... | MY3SON::STEGNER | | Thu Aug 11 1994 15:04 | 14 |
| Why does Santa like to garden?
Because he really likes to "hoe, hoe, hoe".
From Nickelodean:
What's the difference between broccoli and boogers?
Kids'll eat boogers. (eeeeew! :-) )
|
| 801.13 | Knock Knock | USOPS::DONOVAN | | Sat Aug 13 1994 00:55 | 5 |
| Kid: Knock knock.
Mom: Who's there?
Kid: Fanny.
Mom: Fanny who?
Kid: "Fanny body" calls, take a message.
|
| 801.14 | More knock knocks | APSMME::STEGNER | | Sat Aug 13 1994 21:05 | 13 |
| Knock knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry, little girl.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Sarah.
Sarah who?
Sarah doctor in the house?
|
| 801.15 | | SSDEVO::RENNOLET | | Thu Aug 18 1994 11:36 | 8 |
| What do you call a mushroom who buys ice cream for all the kids
in your class?
A 'fungi' to be with!
Actually, it's "what do you call a mushroom who buys drinks for
everyone in the bar?"; but, I change it to 'ice cream' for kids.
|
| 801.16 | An ooolllddddd family favorite | STOWOA::NELSONK | | Fri Aug 19 1994 16:47 | 12 |
| I got some great giggles from this!
Here is an oldie from my family -- there's a long story behind it but
I'll save it for another time.
Why did the moon go to the bank?
Because he wanted to change quarters.
----
A tad advanced for a 6-year-old, but a 'tween or 'teen would get a
groan out of it...
|
| 801.17 | More goofy kids jokes | ICS::WALKER | | Mon Aug 22 1994 13:36 | 11 |
| My first joke - as stupid now as it was then, but Boy did we kids
laugh...
Why couldn't the driver drive the car? Because he was a screw-driver
My favorite of my Dad's joke...
3 French cats walked out on the thin ice. (My French is lousy, pardon
Une,deux,trois,quattre,cing my spelling)
|
| 801.18 | This won we a prize when I was wee. | PAKORA::SNEIL | Follow we will | Wed Aug 24 1994 04:18 | 9 |
|
Why did the psychiatrist keep his wife under his bed ????
Because he thought she was a little potty.
SCott
|
| 801.19 | re -1 | DELNI::DISMUKE | | Wed Aug 24 1994 10:31 | 10 |
|
must be british humor...
cuz I don't get it.
|
| 801.20 | | NOTIME::SACKS | Gerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085 | Wed Aug 24 1994 10:38 | 1 |
| From context, potty means nutty.
|
| 801.21 | | ZENDIA::MALING | | Wed Aug 24 1994 16:51 | 3 |
| Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Because he was chicken.
|
| 801.22 | Not so funny.... | SUBURB::CHESTY::LEWISE | | Mon Sep 05 1994 08:03 | 17 |
| Why did the chicken cross the road
To see his FLAT mate.
Why did the chicken cross the road
Because he was handcuffed to the hedgehog.
Why did the chicken cross the road
To get to the other side.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road
Because it was the chickens day off.
Whats black and white and read all over
A Newspaper.
Whats black and white and red all over
A Zebra with sunburn.
|
| 801.23 | Groan... | BOBSBX::STEGNER | | Tue Sep 06 1994 10:30 | 4 |
| Where does the Lone Ranger take his garbage?
To the dump, to the dump, to the dump-dump-dump!
(sung to the Lone Ranger theme song)
|
| 801.24 | Hope this hasn't already been in here | NITMOI::ARMSTRONG | | Mon Sep 12 1994 10:04 | 8 |
| Sorry about this....I though of this string when my son
told me this joke yesterday.
What do you call a policeman going to the bathroom?
A policeman doing his duty!
|
| 801.25 | slight variation | PIET01::TRUDEAU | | Tue Sep 13 1994 11:18 | 4 |
| why did the chicken cross the park?
to get to the other slide!
|
| 801.26 | | CSC32::S_BROOK | There and back to see how far it is | Tue Sep 13 1994 12:46 | 10 |
| The ridiculousness is what makes you smile ... but it is not something
to think about too long!!!
Why did the chicken cross the road ?
To get to the other side.
Why did the elephant cross the road ?
He was stapled to the chicken
|
| 801.27 | I'm looking for a job at Junior Scholastic! | LTSLAB::KUDLICH | nathan's & morgan's mom! | Wed Sep 14 1994 12:57 | 16 |
| My kids are having so much fun (at 2 and 4) with
KNOCK KNOCK
Who's there
BOO
Boo Who?
Don't Cry little baby, or little mommy, or whatever! Even the 2 year
old does it, but she often wants to do both sides and start iwth the
punch line!
Adrienne
|
| 801.28 | one from jellystone park | RANGER::MCDONOUGH | | Thu Sep 15 1994 13:45 | 11 |
| This is one of my 4 1/2 year olds favorites:
Joker: You got a matt-a-yogi on your back.
Other: What's a matt-a-yogi?
Joker: Nothing boo-boo
...he doesnt like it when someone doesnt fall for it and just says oh..
Rhonda
|
| 801.29 | | USCTR1::WOOLNER | Your dinner is in the supermarket | Thu Sep 15 1994 13:49 | 3 |
| Can't wait to tell that one to my henway...
Leslie
|
| 801.30 | | MOIRA::FAIMAN | light upon the figured leaf | Fri Sep 16 1994 10:59 | 1 |
| Gee, Leslie, what's a henway? :-)
|
| 801.31 | depends - is it a broiler or a fryer? | USCTR1::WOOLNER | Your dinner is in the supermarket | Fri Sep 16 1994 11:32 | 5 |
| *awk!* About 7 pounds :-)
[I figured everybody knew it, but *someone* had to say it!)
Leslie
|
| 801.32 | fyi | SOLVIT::HAECK | Debby Haeck | Fri Sep 16 1994 13:19 | 2 |
| My daughter (2nd grade) brought home a Weekly Reader yesterday. (I
remember getting those!) It had a joke section.
|
| 801.33 | | AYRPLN::VENTURA | In their eyes, the magic resides | Wed Oct 05 1994 11:45 | 11 |
| I saw this in another conference, and thought it'd be cute to put into
here.
Why did the elephant stop and think?
Answer: Because he couldn't thwim. (-:
H
|
| 801.34 | melon joke | MKOTS3::DOLAN | | Thu Jan 19 1995 13:48 | 4 |
| Where do Cantaloupe spend their summer vacations?
At the John Cougar Mellancamp.
|
| 801.35 | Two cute jokes for kids... | HOTLNE::CORMIER | | Wed Mar 08 1995 08:50 | 10 |
| In case anybody is looking for some nice jokes for kids, my 5-year old
told me two yesterday:
How can you tell if a ghost is hurt?
He has a boo-boo!
Where do generals keep their armies?
Up their sleevies!
Sarah
|
| 801.36 | | ADISSW::HAECK | Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa! | Wed Mar 08 1995 10:17 | 5 |
| my 8 year old daughter has been fascinated by this one (she read it in
an old Highlights for Juniors, a Halloween edition):
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
He didn't have any BODY to dance with.
|
| 801.37 | cute play on words... | RANGER::MCDONOUGH | | Thu Mar 09 1995 15:23 | 6 |
| This one is a non-noters child's favorite:
How do you catch a polar bear?
Make a hole in the ice and put peas around the hole. When the polar
bear takes a pea, kick him in the ice hole.
|