Conference moira::parenting

    Cori - you hit my situation right on.

    My oldest (now 9) was born with a birthmark on his arm which extended
    from just around the base of the thumb all the way up his forearm
    almost to the bend.  It covered the top of his arm - but did not extend
    all the way around the arm.

    I didn't worry too much about it at first - until around 6-8 wks it
    started to split.  He was is in a great deal of pain in the areas where it
    split.  I took him to a dermatologist who told me it would begin to 
    fade around age two and be gone by age 8.  My solution for the pain at
    the split sites was to put a "XXXcaine" cream on it (topical -
    perscription) and keep it covered with sterile pads and tape.  The
    split part was at the bend of the wrist first.  We kept it covered and
    moist - the painful part appeared to be the site of the scab.  As long
    as it was kept soft/moist, he didn't seem to mind it.  A month or so later,
    another scab broke out further up the arm closer to the bend of the
    elbow.  We treated it in much the same way.  When he was first born the
    skin was very dark maroon - very noticeable.  He was born in the summer
    so he wore T-shirts most of the time.  To be honest with you, unless it
    was painful for him, I don't remember spending alot of time dwelling on
    it.  A few people asked about it, but since he was a baby, there was no
    teasing etc.  At about 3-4 weeks old the whole red area began to raise
    higher than the rest of the normal skin on his arm - making it really
    ugly.  (I have pictures from when he was about 7 weeks old before the
    scabs started.)  Once that second scab disappeared (a few weeks at most)
    he never got another one.  As he grew I sometimes wondered if the birthmark 
    would take over his body, but it wasn't growing any bigger.  In fact, 
    before his first birthday, the mark began to fade.  I was VERY pleased 
    for his sake.

    By the time he was two, there were just traces of red thru the edges of the 
    mark, and the center had faded quite a bit.  When he started school, he 
    never mentioned a problem with his friends/classmates.  He did one time 
    tell me that most people think it's a scar from a real bad burn (which it 
    does look that way).  Today, his arm is still raised, shows two scars from 
    where the scabs were and is completely neutral in color.  He never 
    complains about it and does not appear to have any difficulty from his
    classmates.

    When I was born, I had a red strawberry about the size of your thumbnail on
    my nose.  My mother panicked and had it removed.  She took me to a doctor
    who suggested injecting it with a "sugar/water" solution to fade it.  Well,
    it faded, but I'm not sure the solution did anything - it may have happened
    naturally.  

    Our dermatologist told us that if it wasn't gone by age 8, it could be 
    removed by laser surgery.  I am very grateful we did not have to go that
    route.

    Please feel free to call if you have any questions.  The big thing is, try
    not to pay it much attention, and chances are the child won't.  It should
    begin to fade before school aged.  

    -sandy

    Cori,
    
    lolita had a straberry mark on her right foot.  It covered the top half
    of her foot from just below the ankle bone to the tips of her toes.  A
    nurse, mind you, made the remark that she would never be able to wear
    sandals, and gave me a strange look when I said I didn't see why not.  
    
    Anyway, it started shrinking at 6 months and by the time she was two
    was completely faded, except for a small dot, which she has to this
    day.  I didn't do anything special about making sure that she didn't
    get it cut, and just let nature take her course.  she never did get a
    cut on the mark.  
    
    My little sister still has some of her "Dennis the Menace" birthmark on
    the back of her head along the scalp line.  This strawberry mark looks
    like the silluette of Dennis, and my mother would point to it with
    pride if anyone made a remark about it.  in fact the rest of us kids
    were kind of jealous that we weren't blessed with a mark like hers.  
    
    meg  

    When Russell was born he had a large raised strawberry mark on his left
    palm.  There was an area about the size of a cherio  in the center
    that was normal looking, and the strawberry mark went up and around
    several of his fingers.  It would get a real nasty purple when he was
    upset or cried alot.  The top of his hand was also "dusky" - you can
    see several little veins.  Russell was over 10 lbs when he was born,
    and the Dr thinks that his hand got stuck behind him, and he was
    running out of room. He thinks that's what caused the dusky skin.

    To answer your questions in order -                               

    1. I don't really remember it getting bigger in area, but Russell will
    be 4 at the end of August so it's been awhile.

    2. To tell you the truth, I don't remember when it totally disappeared. 
    As he grew, the outer and inner edges just got further apart.  By the
    time he was 1, there was nothing left on his fingers.  By the time he
    was 2 1/2, there was just a slightly pink raised area around the edge
    of the palm from the base of his pinkie down to his wrist.  I don't
    remember mentioning anything to the daycare teachers in the room he
    moved up to when he was 3. 

    3. Dealing with people - well, since it was on his hand, people didn't
    notice it right away. I usually just explained that it was a strawberry
    mark and that is was slowly growing away.  I did make a point of
    showing it to the daycare providers, explaining to them what it was,
    that it was normal for it to turn purple when he was upset, etc.  

    4. Bleeding - We only had 1 nick, and it was later in the process.  It
    did bleed alot, but nothing too terrible.  I just applied direct
    pressure to it for a minute and put a regular bandaid on it.  But your
    mileage may vary.

    5.  Removal of the mark - The pedi said they usually didn't like to
    attempt this on really young kids, especially in Russell's case where it
    wasn't on his face.  I had one aunt who thought I was a terrible mother
    for letting my kid have this "thing" on his hand.  Like I said, it's
    gone now.  If it was still there when he was lots older and getting
    either teased in a major way, then *maybe* we would have considered it. 
    My Pedi seemed to think that most of these marks grew out by the time
    they were 5.

    
    Hope this helps,
    
    	marianne

>    When I was born, I had a red strawberry about the size of your thumbnail
>    on my nose.  My mother panicked and had it removed.  She took me to a 
>    doctor who suggested injecting it with a "sugar/water" solution to fade 
>    it.  Well, it faded, but I'm not sure the solution did anything - it may 
>    have happened naturally.

Sandy, I'd guess that the sugar/water solution was a treatment for your 
mother's anxiety.

Clay

    Jonathan had one when he was born, about the size of a 1/2 dollar.  It
    is on his stomach/hip area, right where the tape from the diaper goes. 
    The first few times I saw it, I thought it was just from the diaper
    tapes.  It was a VERY bright red at first.  At about 2 mos, it got
    larger, and slightly raised.  It got to about the size of a mini-bagel,
    and then quite suddenly (w/in a few weeks), it shrunk back down again. 
    Stayed that way - and always an angry red - for a few months.  Then
    when he was about 5 mos old, it started to fade quite a lot.  At his 7
    mos checkup, it was almost completely gone, and the Dr. was quite
    surprised.  
    
    Now, if you knew it was there, you'd be able to find it, but it really
    just looks like a circle of random red dots .... nothing anyone will
    ever notice, I'm sure.  He's 10 mos old now.
    
    Good Luck!
    

    My daughter had one on the back of her head. She is now four, and I
    just realized when reading the base note, it's gone and I don't
    remember noticing it for quite some time.
    
    The way our pedi explained to me: a single blood vessel goes into 
    the birthmark as its supply and there is a single blood vessel 
    going out.  The birthmark is a conglomeration of blood vessels
    as time goes on, the blood vessels grow, increase in size and number
    but since there's only 1 vessel going in, he said eventually there
    wouldn't be enough blood supply going in and they'd choke themselves
    off.  Seemed like that's exactly what happened.
    
    re: .0 good luck, they sure look ugly and are worrisome!

Well, these are very interesting stories - thanks to all for sharing them. I
totally agree that the best action is *no* action so that the child does not
deduce that they are "different" or somehow less-than-perfect because of their
distinguishing features ;-)

While I like the explanation in .5, I do slightly shudder at the closing
comment, since that is *exactly* the connotation I try to avoid when the
heads start turning. I shall try to come up with something to squelch such
reaction (at least the verbal part) so my daughter will not have negative
associations with her image.  If it's kids who stare or ask questions about it,
I usually try to offer a low-key comment like "Yes, it's just a birthmark and
it doesn't hurt her at all and will probably go away as she grows up" and then
leave it at that.  I don't blame people for being curious - that's natural -
but they can sometimes cross the line into plain rudeness...I'm sure we've
all been in those situations!

Since I see her every day, of course I only see her as the perfectly healthy,
beautiful girl she is (;-)) - but even members of my own family (who don't see
her often) do not do a very good job of "ignoring" the cosmetic so it's of
interest to me how to deal with their insensitive comments...

Thanks again,
-Cori

    As she gets older, having bangs on her forehead will/can help.  I have
    a friend whose daughter has both ears bent over at the top to a marked
    degree.  I thought when she was first born "that's easy to cover by
    keeping your hair over it", but they don't seem to mind it.  She wears
    her hair any way she wants without feeling ugly at all.  It will depend
    on how well the people around her (specifically her family and close
    friends) at this age begin to react to it as naturally as possible. 
    She may even "forget" it's there as my son often does.
    
    -s
    

    My daughter was born with two birthmarks that the doctor called 
    stork bites.  One was on her eye lid and the other was on the back of
    her neck.  The one on her eye covered her eye lid and the on the back
    of her neck was very small, the size of a dime.  Both faded by the time
    she was around 1 and you would never know they were there. 
    
    We didn't worry or bother with them because the doctor said they would
    fade away, which is what happened.  

    FWIW, Paul has one on his tongue!  I keep getting comments about his
    mouth bleeding.  I also was told that it will go away over time.
    
    The funny thing is its the shape of a heart.  I hope its gone before he
    starts kissing girls or this could be quite a story for him to tell
    them! :)
    
    cj
    

Well, at my daughter's 9 month check-up last week, I had a different pedi. so
I asked for his opinion on the strawberry (hemangioma) and he basically said the
same thing - wait it out and it would probably be gone by the time she "goes to
kindergarten". He said they don't usually recommend any action i.e. laser
surgery unless the mark is affecting the functioning of some other part of the
body (i.e. near the eye, on the throat were the examples he gave).  He did say
to try to keep sunscreen on her face/forehead to minimize any difference in the
eventual skintone of the mark.

Now I am dealing with another facial mark - Morgan did take a fall and hit her
head yesterday (but not on the birthmark), cutting her eyebrow area pretty bad.
OUCH! Turns out to be not too major (skipped the stiches in favor of a "steri-
strip" tape - kind of like a butterfly bandage) but oh what a scare when I got
the dreaded call from daycare...

Poor thing! I knew I should've kept that portrait sitting I cancelled on
Saturday! ;-)

Never a dull moment,
-Cori

    Birthmarks are an interesting topic for me, because I have one, and
    its rather large, however it is not seen to often..
    
    I have a huge birth/beauty mark on the side of my stomache/back.  It
    looks like an oblong oval, and its real dark. 
    
    When I was little, it covered most, if not all of my stomache/back. As
    I got older, it got smaller (actually it stayed the same, and I got
    bigger).  
    
    When I was younger, I had wanted to get it removed because I was very
    self-conscious of it. I would not wear 2 piece bathing suits, halter
    tops etc.  I even met with the doctor to talk about having it removed,
    I opted to wait a little while longer, and never had it done.
    
    I have actually forgotten I have the mark on my side and only remember
    its there when someone comments about it. 
    
    My biggest fear was that my son would get one when he was born, (big
    dark and very dominant), but all he got was 2 strawberry, one on the
    back of his neck and one on his scalp.  (now if only his hair would
    grow in so you wouldn't see the one on his head..
    
    Anne Marie 

    My son was born with a brown birthmark on his back.  As he grew it
    grew, and raised up.  The doctor had been watching it since
    he was a baby.  When he was 7, they decided to have it removed before
    it got even bigger, darker, and possibly cancerous.  They just numbed
    his back, because they didn't want to put him under.  I was not allowed
    in the room because I would probably panic, and make it worse.  The
    roots of the birthmark were so deep that it required a lot of stitches,
    and he has a pretty long scar on his back.  He is now 14, but it
    doesn't seem to bother him at all.  It is on the very bottom of his
    back almost to his butt, so it is not noticeable all the time.  At
    first he showed off the scar, and bragged how he went through surgery.
    Whats really weird is that particular birthmark runs in my husbands
    side of the family, but skips a generation.  
    
    Cheryl
        

    My niece had a large brown mole-like circle on her inner thigh.  She
    recently had it removed (it was dark and raised slightly).  She had it
    till she was about 10 I think.
    
    Now that I think of it, my younger son had a tiny little red splat on
    his stomach which quickly faded, too.
    
    -s
    

    Hello,
    
    My daughter has a small birthmark on her arm. This prompted me to
    wonder if birthmarks really originate 'at birth', or are already 
    there on the baby before from some time while it is developing. 
    
    Any thoughts? 
    
    The only way I can think to test this is to see if babys born by
    ceaserian section ever have birth marks. If there is a difference 
    in how many such babys have, then there would appear to be some 
    proof that the marks are really caused by 'birth'.
    
    Malcolm
    

    Malcolm, it depends on what type of birthmark you're talking about.  At
    least in my situation.
    
    I was born via cesarian (SP?).  I never had any "strawberry" birth
    marks, but do have a brown birth mark on the top of my foot and on my
    arm.
    
    Holly
    

    
    Two c-sections, no birth marks, 1 vaginal w/ 1 strawberry mark.  I was
    born naturally and have several birth marks that look more like large
    freckles.
    
    

    Hi,
    
    My daughter was born naturally and has one  strawberry mark. 
    So I understand that brown birthmarks can originate from 
    before birth, but so far all known cases of strawberry marks 
    are found on babies that had a vaginal birth. Any cases of 
    strawberry marks on non-vaginal births? 
    
    Malcolm

    My bet friend's daughter has a strawberry mark and she was delivered
    surgically.  Lolita had a strawberry mark on her foot, carrie and
    Atlehi have brown spots, but no strawberries.  All three were vaginal
    births.

Rachel has a strawberry over her right knee.
When I asked, the doctor said it could bleed alot if cut,
but she got through the crawling stage with cutting it...
even though she had a good fall her first spring and skinned the 
whole tip of her nose!

She's just turned two and it's starting to fade.  She rarely pays 
attention to it, but on occasion I tell her that's her Pretty Knee.

-Tanya

    my daughter has one right in the middle of the top of her head.. any
    updates on how long it took for some of them to go ahead.  Luckily
    headbands cover it, because people do say the stupidest things
    when they see it.

    Angeline was born with one of those red (strawberry?) type 
    birthmarks on the outside of her right nostril.   The whole
    curve of skin there is red.  Some days it's more obvious
    then others.  
    
    She's 14 months now and most days I have to really look to
    even see it anymore.   It was a lot more vivid right up until
    this past summer.  
    
    People were always saying "did she scratch her nose?".  Even her
    father said it once when she was a couple of months old.  But then,
    he didn't see her often enough to realize it was always there.
    
    							cj *->

    My daughter's is really raised, looks like 1/2 a strawberry poor
    thing.  I look at pictures of her, its so funny all you see is
    this big bright red bump on her head, because she has very little
    hair.  I know it will get bigger before it gets smaller, I am
    just not sure how much bigger??
    
    

    Will it get bigger?  I really don't know much about these
    things.  
    						cj

    That's what I don't know. The Doc says it will get bigger
    until she is about 8 mos.. but so far everyone I have spoken
    to, its seems to get bigger closer to up to a year, and then
    takes another year to get smaller, and then quite a long time
    to fade.. I don't mind the redness its the raised part of
    it, sort of looks like a big blood blister.
    
    

    Depends,
    
    When Lolita was born she had a whopping birthmark on her foot, to the
    point were every nurse who saw it said it was a good thing she could
    wear shoes to cover it when she grew up.  It covered a full half of the
    top of her foot by six weeks and was raised.  I don't remember when it
    completely disappeared (we had a few other things on our plate to worry
    about the first year of her life, burnt out of a home when she was two
    weeks old, four additional move in the next four months, a serious
    illness on my father's and a sister's part, you name it) but by the
    time she was 18 months I couldn't find more than a little spot.  
    
    A friend's daughter had a large birthmark over the right side of her
    face.  By the time she had her first year pictures taken, it was
    invisible.  My sister, who is now 37 has a mark in her hairline that
    looked and looks like Dennis the Menice.  It remains to this day,
    although paler and not as defined.
    
    So, I guess like all other things, YMMV.
    
    meg  

    
    I'm sure it's in this string ... but Jonathan had one when he was born.
    On his waist/hip area - looked like someone had taped a diaper to his
    skin )-:  It got a little bit bigger over the first few months, and
    then faded, and you know, it wasn't till I read through this that I
    remembered he even had it.  It's completely gone now, and he's 2.  I'm
    sure it's been gone for AT LEAST a year. 
    
    As mentioned .... ymmv - but either way, there's not a darn thing you
    can do about it, so try not to stress out about it too much.  Worry
    about Christmas presents instead! (-: