Conference moira::parenting

    I too was fortunate to lose my pregnancy weight two weeks after my
    son's birth however, I felt as though I was 10lbs heavier that I should
    be before I was pregnant.  I got pregnant during the holidays and well,
    you know, you eat more, and when I was pregnant and didn't realize it,
    I guess I ate more than the usual holiday "fattening" treats.  I have
    found this weight to be extremely hard to get rid of.  
    
    I also have found that up until a week ago when I had my first
    menstrual cycle (my son is now five months, boy was it great not to
    have a cycle for 14 months!) that I was still having hormonal problems
    and when stressed, I got very stressed.  I felt as though I was
    constantly having PMS when there was no ovulation taking place.  I was
    hoping that because I am "back to normal" that these hormonal things
    will be a things of the past.  I guess not! :(
    
    cj

    
    I agree completely. My son is almost 2 years old and I have not
    recovered :-) Especially my weight , aaaaaaaargh! I am still 30 pounds
    over what I want to be. With my daughter (5) I lost it all by the time
    she was 18 months. I got time to exercise. Now, I have no time to do
    the regular stuff leave alone exercising. I know If I try I can make it
    happen but it so *&*^&% difficult.  SO i don't let it bother me. I will
    exercise when I get the time to. Right now I just don't have the time
    or energy? Of course, exercising will take of the energy part but
    rabble rabble rabble rabble !!!!!!
    
    Shaila :-)
    

I thought it took about 21 years :-)

    
    I don't think you ever recover or go back to what you were!!!
    
    I only gained 20lbs during my pregnancy - small frame, small baby, so I
    was back to my pre-preganancy weight within a few months of the birth.
    The last 3-4 lbs were the hardest to shift.
    
    The weight stayed on my hips and bust the longest (still a size larger
    than before up-top as I am still breast-feeding). The breast-feeding
    sure helped get my tummy down as my "plumbing" went back to normal!
    
    I went back to aerobics 7 weeks after the birth (a planned section) and
    try and do some form of exercise at least once a week. Even doing
    movements to a video at home can help. I was very good about doing my
    special tummy exercises from 2 days after the birth until I could go
    back to a class. I'll never have a flat tum, but then I never did
    before the birth!
    
    So almost 2 years after the birth, my weight is less than before I got
    pregnant, my muscle tone is good and I feel fairly fit. The real
    killers to the system are sleepless nights, loads of colds that my
    daughter brings home from creche and the general balancing of your
    life as a full-time working parent. Guess it'll be OK once she goes to
    college :-)   
    
               seals
    

    My problem is not so much the weight gain, but I think that I have caught
    colds more easily during and after pregnancy. I also do not feel like
    that I have regained my complete physical fitness. I run, and I am
    not as fast as some of the people I used to run with.
    Carol

    We havn't recoved yet from our adoptions!  I suspect the
    pregnancy part of it is only a piece.  And you never
    recover from parenthood!
    bob

    re: .6
    
    For me, it's not just catching colds more easily (which I do), it's
    also a general, run-down feeling.  And I'm definitely less fit (I did
    aerobics 5 days a week and weight trained during my entire pregnancy with
    my third child, and STILL watched my cardiovascular endurance and 
    strength, and flexibility get worse and worse -- I know this is
    typical, but I did expect to be in better shape after the birth because 
    of my pregnancy routine, and I'm not).
    
    Granted, during the pregnancy, I had none of my typical problems
    (asthma attacks, swollen legs and ankles, back pain, and chronic 
    constipation), and the birth was a breeze (5 hours, no drugs) compared
    to the other two births (days of labor and epidural with first,
    c-section with second).  
    
    I really believe my body has been adjusting this entire first year
    of Lauren's life, and my efforts to impact that process (trying to
    lose weight and exercise) have been next to useless.  
    
    Do other people feel that way?
    
    And for all who are parenting (whether your children are adopted
    or biological), do you feel that the first year with a new baby/child is a
    pivotal one?  (ie, your body has to adjust to the stresses and joys of
    parenting)?
                      
    Lesley

    Oh yeah and those "chemical changes" in the body after child-birth!!
    I have suddenly developed allergies (only to high pollen counts) and
    sinus headaches, etc and when I ask the Dr why I have them now and not
    before, the answer is YES chemical changes after child birth. SWELL!
    
    Shaila

    I loved this article so much that I made copies for everyone I knew who
    had babies this year. It helped me a lot!  I too am having trouble with
    my weight loss.  I have always had trouble keeping my weight off and am
    still about 16 pounds over my pre-baby weight.  I'm just trying to take
    things one day at a time but it is difficult when all of my new mother
    friends are already twigs.  One thing I found most comforting was the
    fact that there is a real reason why I caught everything that my son
    brought home from daycare.  I kept thinking that I couldn't take care
    of myself and now I realize that a lot of it was out of my control. 
    
    I always laugh when I think of my six week post-delivery checkup.  My
    midwife asked if I was having sex yet!  I thought to myself you have
    got to be kidding!  It was nice to have my feelings about all of the
    aches and pains that lasted six months  verified.  Its funny but no one
    ever mentions this stuff to you.  As the article said, you are told
    that you should be recovered in 6 weeks and everything will be back to
    normal!.....Not!
    
                    

    I have a daughter who will be 1 later this week.  I can relate to and 
    appreciate each reply.   I am still 20+ lbs over my "healthy" not stick
    thin or flabby but "healthy" weight.  
    
    I have a son who is almost 11 and I work fulltime.  I would love to be 
    able to find the time to exercise I just can't.  I do feel extrememly
    run down especially after nights of being up 2-3 hours in the middle of
    the night.  I also KNOW I DO NOT sleep as soundly as I used to.  My
    daughter can *sigh* and I wake up.  My husband does get up with her 
    but I cannot go back to sleep until she is sleeping.  I guess I just
    have to know that she is okay.  My husband is excellent with her, it is
    not that I don't trust his parenting skills, I guess it is just that
    mother instinct.  I feel that my life is a blur most of the time
    because I am on the go so much.  Thank God for weekends. 
    
    I saw two very fitting sayings on t-shirts this weekend.....
    
    I would write a book about being a good mother if....
    
    I had time to sit down!
    
    and
    
    If God had meant for the house to be clean....
    
    He would not have invented children!
    
    Thanks again for this note and replies....it lets me know I am not
    crazy.
    
    ng

    
    A couple of things that came back to me over the Easter w/e.
    
    Going back to work as soon as you are fit/ready helps you to feel
    normal again. I went back to work when Rebecca was only 11 weeks, but
    it sure helped the post-baby blues/being lonely. I was climbing the
    walls and really keen to get back to the "adult world". 
    
    Returning to work to also great for weight loss - you cannot snack on the
    junk they sell at work and survive :-) 
    
    If you have a long commute, try and get someone to share the drive/keep
    you company. I know that I went back downhill when my partner left
    Digital and I had to commute (30 miles each way) alone and keep the
    baby happy/entertained. Great fun on the busiest bit of motorway for
    miles!! 
                          
    Try and maintain a social life even if it's only an hour away from the
    baby with partner/friends. That also helps on the "I'm still a person" 
    front.
    
    Try and have some "me time" while the baby naps. Half an hour with your
    feet up with a good book is far better for you than trying to get the
    house clean. If you can afford it, get help around the house/garden. I
    pay someone to do the ironing which means 2 more hours each week for
    family time. It won't be long before the baby wants to help around the
    house. I've already got my daughter dusting and unloading the
    dish-washer (minus the knives, glasses etc)!!
    
    Take care of yourself and your appearance - great for your self-worth
    and feeling OK with life. Sleepless nights take their toll, so be good
    to yourself. Eat a healthly diet and relax when you can.
    
    Remember you are a little person's parent, so you owe it to them to
    take care of yourself!!
    
              seals  

Mmmmmmm  I can definitely relate to your feelings, Shaila!  My boys are now
21 months and I haven't slept a full night all the way through since (except 
for the few times I was able to get away for training or branch meetings).
I haven't the energy I used to and I am still 7 pounds heavier than my pre-
pregnancy weight ... and, I was a little overweight then.  I am busier, not
as organized and I am beginning to suspect that this is the way it's going
to be FOREVER!  

Physically, I would say that the Glamour article was dead-on.  It certainly
took me at least 12 months to regain some of the muscle tone lost during
pregnancy and delivery!  Things are better now.  If only I had the strenght
of character to enter into and maintain a routine exercise schedule ...
(I'm sure I could carve the time out SOMEWHERE, SOMEHOW).

Mo.

    I've been back at work for a week.  Our baby Joshua (our second) is now
    7 weeks old, and I am NO WHERE NEAR recovered.  I feel like I'm walking
    around in a coma....
    
    I've lost 20 of the 32 lbs. I gained, but after 21 weeks of bedrest and
    an all-around horrible pregnancy, I couldn't be more un-fit.  It really
    upsets me that people (who don't know better) think that after 6 weeks
    you are supposed to be back to normal.  I'm struggling just trying to 
    get through the day.
    
    Two kids are about eight times the work--why is that????
    
    -Linette (the desperate mom)
    

I think the hard part is the mental adjustment.  With
every baby, you have to split off another piece of
brain to dedicate to that person's life.  You just
don't have enought mental power and time to be a
whole person yourself, so it's easy to get discouraged
and depressed.

Elise is 3-1/2 and Sarah is 1-1/2 and I'm getting a
consistent 6 hours of sleep every night.  But I have
no piece of time which is mine.  I rarely get to go
to the bathroom alone.  (I confess, I use the
handicapped bathrooms at work alot, just because I
can have the whole place to myself.)

But, recently I've found I can read a book (of my own
choosing, not theirs) while they play together in
the same room.  I can't knit or spin, because they
*have* to try it too; far more interesting than
play make-believe.

But, we're getting there.  I still say the secret is
parental team work - parents who support each others
needs can give each other that 15 minute shower alone
that makes a huge difference to your day.....

    ...RE. -.1
    
    "i confess I use the handicapped stall.. so I can have the whole space
    to myslef"
    
    
    I'm rolling....in empathy!
    
    ...and it's NOT a bad idea at all...!
    
    Jamd