Conference moira::parenting

<                    <<< Note 609.0 by WR2FOR::HARPHAM_LY >>>
<                              -< Would you Work? >-

I'm not cut out to be a homemaker.  I love my kids, but I'd go crazy being
with them every day.  

If I won a $27 million lottery :-) I would probably get involved in *other*
work, like TV or movies.  :-)  If I won slightly less, I might still eventually
stop working at Digital, but would find some other work to do, perhaps 
part-time.  I'd consider writing or perhaps I'd get involved in something for
my family, like doing genealogy.  I wouldn't mind spending more time with the
kids, just not all of the time.  I'd also take the kids on *lots* of fun
vacations (assuming I had enough money), so they could experience lots of
other cultures and adventures, and go to fun, kid-oriented places.

Ideally, whatever I did on a day-to-day basis, I would sleep in, and get off
work early.  :-)

               Carol

    If I didn't need the money I wouldn't work at all...I'd spend
    all my days taking care of my house (if I had one - 'cause I'd
    have lots of money if I didn't have to work)...my yard, my pool
    and my baby!  and daddy too...
    
    

    NO!
    
    
    But, I'd have to do something or, like Carol, I'd go crazy - and these
    days the road is getting shorter.
    
    -sandy
    

Hi,

I wouldn't work on a regular basis at all.  I may do a liitle volunteer work 4 -
6 hours a week.

I would definately have lots more children and spend as much time as I could
watching them grow up. 

I think that is the worst part about working 40 hours a week. I worry I am going
to miss some of the important milestones in Cbristophers life.   

After all, they do grow up so fast....



Katie

    Nope. I would not drive 1 hour each way each day to sit and listen
    to customer's software whinings 8-). 
    I have a billion things I could be doing at home. 
    However there is the money thing etc etc.
    So, a month goes by and I pine for the home life and Charlotte, then
    the next month goes by and I tell myself I have a good career and
    making good $, the baby is in good hands, etc etc. Then we swing back
    to pining for the life of the domestic engineer. 
    *sigh*.
    Does this ever stop? My observation is that the swinging is more 
    frantic now that I am pregnant again!
    
    Monica

I'd definitely still work.  In fact, I don't even think I'd change my
hours (currently work fulltime).  Hmmm -- I must be happy!!

- Deb

I love little Lauren but would go nuts being home full-time (went a little nuts
on maternity leave - just a little).

Ideally I would want to have the time off that coincides with Lauren's schedule
once she starts school.  Right now, since she is a toddler I would still send
her a couple of days to daycare - she would miss the kids.

BUT I would definately change careers...

I'd stay home without too much complaining!  The kids would learn how to work on
cars, drive non-synchromesh gearboxes and use hand signals....:-)

It would be great to stay at home with the kids while my wife worked, but right
now we like the 'social life' the kids get at daycare.  Maybe by the time they
are in grade school I can manage a part time shift?

Dave

    
    I would still work -- though in what I don't know. I know I would get
    out of the high pressure field I'm in and get into something a little
    slower paced, but then maybe that would make me crazy. I know I
    couldn't spend everyday with Anna, I would go crazy and I think she
    would too. A couple of days at daycare so Mom would have some time to
    herself and then the rest of the week to do all the fun things I want
    to do but don't have the time now. Probably when she got older I would
    want to spend more time with her but then she probably wouldn't. What a
    vicious cycle.
    
    So yes, I would do something, maybe even bake or sew to order, but
    I would definitely get out of system debug world.
    
    Patty

    I'd work part-time, though possibly not the same job (lots
    of other interests to follow up).  And I'd take some time
    by my self, to catch up on my reading, rather than use it
    all with the kids.
    
    And if "money were no object", I'd hire help.  Depending on
    the scale of this fantasy, that'd range from lawn care to a
    palace staff of a hundred and fifty!  (Well, I can go beyond
    that if you like--for me there's no "beyond the dreams of
    avarice" as I have BIG dreams!)
    
    		-John Bishop

    I would still work, but the career path would probably be quite a bit
    different than it is now.  I am not a stay-at-home type of person, I do
    go nuts.  Frank on the other hand prefers being home with the kids, and
    he managed to set things up so we could get by on one income (mine) 
    when his former company downsized.  Let me tell you, he WORKS even if
    it isn't business beyond maintaining the household.  I could never
    manage his pace.
    
    Meg     

    No, I would not work.  I would do volunteer work, within the schools
    and community.   
    
    
    susan chadsey

    could we chang this to would you go to business.  People who work
    inside the home, or doing volunteer work are working, and a lot harder
    than some of us who go to business.
    
    Meg

    
    Very interesting perspectives... I love this file...
    
    I think I'm most like .5, who talked about feeling ready to be home
    one month, and happy with the balance the next month.  I do think
    parents who stay home full-time do work VERY hard if they do it right.
    Personally, I find this to be such a tough decision. At times I feel
    like I owe my son the carefree life of an at-home toddler  --not having
    to commute, not having to be up and out of the house early, etc.
    Our adult lives are so heavily scheduled, and made up of must-do's, it
    seems like a nice gift to give a child simple, unscheduled time.  I
    also agree with many of the NOTERS who mention they like the social
    interaction for their children. But daycare isn't really the only
    option for that.  My son belongs to a playgroup I found in town. I've
    also found wonderful programs in the Park & Rec Dept (i.e. a Toddler
    Time 6 week program that meets twice a week for 2 hrs. each). If I did
    ever decide to stay home full-time, I know I would have to work hard to
    create the life I want for both my son and myself, as well as my poor
    husband!  
    
    I've been talking to quite a few women lately, who do stay home
    full-time, and one comment that comes up frequently is
    that they now have time to get more involved with their
    community  -whether its getting to know neighbors, volunteering,
    participating at school, etc.  When I heard that, I felt this kind of
    twinge inside, that this might be the essence of much that's gone wrong
    with our communities.  That is, because so many of us work, our
    communities are left somewhat unattended.  What do other NOTERS think?
    
    Lynn
    
    
    
    
     
    
      

    
    There is no way I'd stay at home. I was climbing the walls when I was
    on maternity leave and came back to work as soon as I was fit and
    Rebecca was old enough to go in the creche. I love my child and I love
    our special times together in the evenings and at week-ends, but I'd go
    nuts if I stayed at home with her all day.
    
    My husband left Digital last winter and is now earning a lot more than
    he made as an engineer here. I have been asked "why don't I cut down my
    hours/stop working now Dave's earning more?". The answer is no-way. I
    like the freedom of having my own salary (yes 95% goes on us, but there
    is still that 5% for me!!), the social aspects of working (inspite of
    the 30 mile commute each way) and most of the time I enjoy my job. If I
    did cut my hours, I'd still have Rebecca in a creche at least part of
    the time. Then I'd have more time for reading, working on the garden,
    taking up a new hobby and she'd still benefit from being with other
    children at least part of the time.
    
    I find it very difficult to relate to stay-at-home mums, just like
    they don't understand our lifestyle.
    
              Celia
    

    Dream on Rivka....
    Oh,yes.I would keep on working.I am as is a workoholic,and it has
    nothing to do with money (not that we have any...) so I guess having
    alot would not make any difference.BUT- then I would go to something
    I've been dreaming to do for a loooong time- having my own store,with
    wall to wall
    yarn/buttons/all_you_will_ever_need_for_handcraft.Then I will sit in
    the store and knit,and knit,and knit.
    But I'll be home every day when the kids come back from school.
    I'm not really no.1 housewife,so I'd probably get help.
    Oh,yea.dreams...
    Back to no_mon_life...
    R/

	I'd work, but not here, and no where near full time.  I'd like to
	do Personal Training/Fitness Counselling (currently my second
	"career", but I've got no real time to dedicate to it!) and teach
	aerobics.  I'd put in no more than 20 hours per week, and some of
	those hours would overlap time that my husband is home, so Emily
	would have more time with at least one parent around.

	Most importantly, I'd be able to drop hours at any time I chose to.
	I feel that if I were home more, there would be even more harmony
	in the house - weekends and evenings could be family time, not chore
	time, and we'd all feel a bit more rested and peaceful.  So, although
	I'd like to do a bit of part-time work, I'd drop even that if it
	were financially feasible and felt that was the best thing for the
	family.

	Of course, I'm hoping to have four children, so I know that change
	is inevitable (can you imagine 4 kids in day care ??), and I am
	looking forward to it.

    Lynn - interesting and you may have a point there.  I think we as
    parents (for the most part) wait to get involved with our schools and
    community when something threatens them.  How many parents went to a
    school board meeting for the first time when condom distribution was
    an issue or when (in our town's case) your school was closed because of
    poor air quality, etc.
    
    I personally tell myself every year that I will go to the PTO meetings
    and become invovled, but I am so involved in other things, too, I
    always let that one slide.
    
    Just a thought....
    
    -sandy
    

    
    With my first child, I stayed home with him until he was two.  When my
    second came along, I no longer had that choice - we needed the money. 
    If I could I would seek the happy medium of doing something outside of
    the home part time (I have a wonderful idea but would not earn a lot of
    money) and have the children in a mother's morning out program for
    their social interaction.  The other thing I would have to do is become
    comfortable with those people who look at you like you don't have a
    brain because you stay at home with your kids.  I hated that when I
    stayed home with my son.

This topic opened a lot of wishful thinking for my spouse and me last night:

If we hit the lottery, we'd quit work, buy a house on Bermuda, and
probably have a summer home in the Berkshires.  I'd like a nanny, a
gardener, and a part-time cook!  Oh, can't forget the daily housekeeper.
I'd like to go back to school part-time and study something FUN, like
literature.  Maybe become a lifetime student.

    I would work part-time (maybe thirty hours a week instead of forty).
    I stayed home the first time with my three and I did not want to do
    it again with these two.  My husband works second shift because he
    wants to be home with the kids and if I only worked six hours a day
    we wouldn't have to pay a sitter at all (we pay for two hours a day
    now).  He has been out on STD for the last month and it has been 
    nice having him home at nights, maybe in three more years he can 
    change to first shift and I will be able to cut my hours back....if
    our finances will allow it.
    
    Vickie

    I'd definitely work part-time, maybe 2.5 days a week.  It would give
    Sarah an opportunity to continue to socialize and grow at daycare and
    mom an opportunity to keep her brain active and challenged.
    
    I'd definitely do something different (Karen, being a fitness trainer
    is one of my dream jobs!  Gee, get paid to stay in shape). There's no
    way I could do the job I do now on a part-time basis (I'm sorry, can't
    complete complete your timing verification today, but it'll be done by
    Monday).  Maybe I'd do coding or design freelance, not sure really just
    something where I keep my head moving.  One of the things I noticed
    while I was out on maternity leave, I took 4 months, is that I lost
    track of time.  If you asked me the day 99% of the time I couldn't tell
    you what it was.
    
    Now, if money were absolutely no object, I'd have a bunch of kids and
    we'd travel (of course I'd have a nanny along to help us out).  We'd go
    to all sorts of places and learn about the people and their history. 
    And, most importantly, daddy would stay home, too!!!!!
    
    Susan

    If we didn't need the money, I'd quit working and stay home full time
    with my children until they were well into school age (say, 10-12 years
    old), then I'd gradually ease back into work, probably doing the same
    kind of work that I do now.  
    
    Jane

    I have no kids yet, but I would definitely want to stay home with them
    if I did.  If money were no object, I'd either own or work part time at
    a nursery (plants - not kids!).  I love to garden and watch things grow.
    
    ....just another dream.......(sigh)
    
    kf

Before our daughter started school, I would have stayed home full time 
(and, in fact, I made that offer to my wife, but the finances wouldn't
work out).  Now that she's in school, I would do volunteer work, and
I would never get near a "profit for the stockholders" business again.

bruce

    I stayed home for two years after our second child was born.  At first,
    I loved it....I'm a minister's wife, so I was finally able to devote
    the time I wanted to my family AND my church.
    
    But it was HARD work (the kids, the house, the bills)...so now I'm back
    working full-time at Digital (after having a third child).  I missed my
    profession (I'm in training), talking to adults, and of course, the money.
                    
    Now I miss my kids desperately, but I think I'm a better parent when
    I'm using my mind for things other than household chores and child
    caring!
    
    In my "dream life", I would work full-time from home with live-out child
    care to watch my kids.  And when I felt like taking a nap or going to
    the playground, I'd turn off that computer and do it!
    
    For those who have stayed home full-time -- didn't you feel put upon by
    folks who assumed that you wouldn't mind watching their kids (because
    of course, you're not REALLY working), and by folks who assumed you
    were a "no-brainer" because you were at home?
    
    Lesley

    	I haven't had the time to reply to this note until now.

    	Yup, yes, absolutely, I would continue to work, and if things ever
    get settled down in my department, I would even choose to continue
    working here. 

    	I don't see work as a chore, I see it as a great intellectual
    challenge and I genuinely like going to work and figuring out the
    solutions to problems. I enjoy creating and I enjoy seeing the efforts
    of my work take place. I enjoy the adult conversation (and the notes
    files ;-)), I enjoy eating hot food while it is hot and I enjoy going
    to the bathroom when I have to and not when I have a free moment. I
    currently work home on Fridays and you can bet that by Monday morning
    we are all ready to be on our way.
        

    	Oh and I also enjoy seeing the kids at the end of the day.

    	I don't see either of my kids as suffering because I work, (this
    spring Marc will be out one night for classes and I will be teaching
    two nights) in fact, I think that it makes for a better relationship
    for us all. I think that the boys feel very secure at home while
    knowing that Marc and I also have "work" that is done outside of our
    house. 

    	
    	I do know that time is precious in our house and somethings have
    had to slip, I no longer read the newspaper (newspapers are for
    coloring on) and because we don't have cable anymore, I don't watch
    CNN, so very often I don't have a clue as to what is going on in the
    world. Sometimes my only access to the news is to watch the most recent
    made for TV movie of the week (while folding the wash or peeling apples
    or....;-)

    	Now if money were no object (and it's not that much of any object,
    we *could* get by if we sold our two rental units) I would still send
    the kids off to daycare (all four of them), but my ultimate fantasy
    wish is to go upstairs to my office (which is covered with roses and
    flowers and shades of mauve and moss) and sit down with my steaming cup
    of coffee (maybe even still in my jammies) to write, write, write.  Of
    course this fantasy presupposes that some publisher out there is
    interested in my writing and that I would have a book tour which
    included stops with Phil, Oprah and yeah, I'll even see Shirley.;-)

    	Sort of like a younger Murder She Wrote, without the violence ;-)

    				Wendy

    	

    Lesley,
    
    Frank runs into this a fair amount.  Also the fact that people assume
    he couldn't find another job when his company closed.  We WANTED one of
    us to be able to stay at home and his temperment is much more suited
    to full time homemaker than mine is.  His settlement enabled us to get
    by on my income only.  He has worked out a barter system with the
    people who drop kids off on him when they have other things to do, so
    he does get paid back.  One neighbor watches Atlehi on Thursday
    afternoons so he can get things done that are difficult to do with a
    baby who likes to be held constantly.  He has been able to store his
    two cars which need to be restored in another persons backyard.
    
    meg

    Since so many of you wrote your feelings about this in such detail
    (played into the fantasy as it were) perhaps I should be clarifying
    my reply.
    When I said I'd rather be home, maybe its because I find work is the
    the choice I don't want (i.e. the particular thing I am doing at this 
    moment). I am getting the "What am I doing to contribute to the
    world?" feeling here. 
    I will say that when I was home last year with Charlotte I did enjoy
    it, but I also had the best of both worlds in that every two of three
    days I logged in, read my mail and all my favourite conferences. This
    is the way I continued to get some adult conversation in (even if it
    was about baby things!)
    I rarely felt that people gave me that "oh, too dumb to work" look when
    I said I am home with baby, since I'm pretty secure in my understanding
    of who I am and what I am capable of (and what I am NOT). However,
    I DO want to consider a different career eventually, so; the best plan
    would be:
    
    Stay home with kids until highschool - work on my hobbies at home
    to keep my brain from numbing (genealogy, history, handicrafts/art) and
    possibly work on a new career direction in Archival Studies. (evening
    courses?) I have already had my husband set up a route into Internet
    that by-passes the gateways here at DEC, so that I could get there
    without my Digital accounts if necessary. 
    
    Now. Where's that lottery ticket............
    
    Monica
    (who's depressed since she reviewed the finances and saw just how 
    plausible this is. Its not....)

    Well, though I'm mostly a read-only noter, I feel this topic is so
    interesting I just have to reply.  If money was not an object, I would
    stay home with my children (ages 4 and almost 2)...however, I would
    (we're really dreaming here :-) like a part-time nanny and a full time
    housekeeper!
    
    Also, I think one noter mentioned it, but if we're talking tons of
    money to spend, like the lottery or Publishers Clearinghouse, I
    would certainly like to have my husband home, too.  I'm sure he would
    enjoy spending more time with us.
    
    Let me just add that I work part-time (24 hours a week) and this seems
    to be the best of both worlds for me.  I tried working full-time last
    year for about 6 months, and I was a basket case...I like being able to
    talk to grown-ups, but I found the stress of full-time, plus two kids,
    a husband and a house too much for me.
    
    If I didn't work outside the home, I would certainly get more involved
    in my daughter's pre-school, and later on, public school.  I would have
    time to work on cross-stitch projects, read, and maybe some volunteer
    work.  I would continue to send my daughter to school half days,
    though, she really enjoys it, and it would give me more time with my
    son, until he's 3 and then he'll start pre-school too.
    
    Sorry this is so long winded...I think this is such a timely, not to
    mention emotional, topic.
    
    Linda

	I'd stay home.  We have a 6month old baby now and I work 3 days at Digital
	On one of my days at home I watch my nephew (my sister-in-law watches my
	daughter for me while I work)  On my other day at home I get errands done etc.

	If money was no object I'd stay at home, get more involved in the community,
	spend time visiting friends and family, work on the millions of projects I
	have in my mind to do at home, spend more time cooking and gardening, and
	learn to play the piano.  
	
	I feel very lucky to have a 3 day work week in the office.  We plan to have
	another baby in a year or two and then I plan to stay home full time.  We
	can afford it, we'll have to cut back on some things, but I think it will
	be worth it.

	Oh yea, I'd travel if money was no object.  My husband would like to quit
	his job and own a store.  Plus we'd like to move into a log cabin in NH
	and waterski/snowski more often.	

	But life's pretty good just the way it is....

	Karen T. :)

Someone just asked me this problem, and I answered without hesitation that
I'd rather work than stay home.  I think if money were no object, I'd
probably do something like sew or quilt instead of working someplace like
Digital, but I'd still do work of some kind. I need that outlet and that
adult socialization that I just don't get when I'm home with two 2-year-olds.

I think I'd continue working, but not necessarily
doing software.  And probably not full-time
either.  (One of my possible futures is to teach
at the community colleges around here when the
kids hit school, so I can have the flexible
schedule for soccer games, girl scouts, dance
class, softball, etc).

For the past 10 months, I've been doing supervision,
to see what it's like, and I miss the intellectual
challenge of technical work.  So, I would need to
do something to keep my brain in gear.

I would, without hesitation, hire household help
for the daily basics - cooking, cleaning, yard
work, laundry, and errands.  I'd only do my
"favorite" chores, to be a role model for the 
kids, and of course, *all* kid stuff.

And then I'd spend some time on my own personal
interests.  The stuff that always falls off the
bottom of the list now...

Pat

re: .14 
>    because so many of us work, our
>    communities are left somewhat unattended.
    
    Lynn, you're quite right. I think it's an important consideration. I
    take community very seriously. It's one of the reasons we live in the
    city. When I stayed home (average 1 year with each of 3 kids, part-time
    now), I found the literal running of the household far from a full-time
    job. I spent a lot of time on general citizenship (politics, community
    activities, etc), as well as renovation of our Victorian house, doing
    things around the city with the kids, etc.  
    
    
    I'm a dilletante -- I enjoy doing lots of things, and don't
    particularly enjoy doing only a few. You might say I'm broad but
    shallow.
    
    Kit

I'd stay home, that is, I wouldn't work a full-time job.  I would
however do some type of volunteer community work, and also work
on all the things that I enjoy - gardening, painting, writing, and
a few other things as well.  I'd like some help keeping the house
clean and maintained, and if we had children who lived with us all
the time, I'd probably arrange for some type of childcare on a 
regularly scheduled basis so that I could pursue these things.  But
I would certainly appreciate more time to spend with the children
too, encouraging them to learn about the world around them and develop
their talents.

Leslie

    I just hade my fourth baby four and a half months ago and just got back
    to work.  Nope, I would not work.  Its the first time in my life that
    I can say that.  There's seven years between #3 and #4 and my
    priorities are definitely in perspective ... home first, work (second?)
    

    If money was not an issue, I would not be here 5 days a week.
    I might work part-time at a less stressful job that would give
    me stimulation and adult contact but it be for 1 or 2 days a week.
    

    
    how do you all get these part time positions??!! I've asked twice witha
    "Only if you want to work elsewhere" response.
    
    Fantasy time? Work part time with housekeeper and nanny available. Oh,
    and did I mention I want the little ones to get a private education...?
    
    
    
    (with apologies to the Disney dwarfs..
    I owe, I owe, so it's off to work I go   )
    
    Jamd

    
    Wow...  I've been out all last week at training, and finally now have
    a chance to catch up with this discussion.  What a great group of
    bright, interesting parents we have here!  I'm particularly impressed
    with the fact that people have expressed themselves without passing
    judgment, flaming, etc.  I've found it can be different "on the
    outside"  --on both sides (working outside vs. staying home). 
    
    Regarding note -.1, who asked "where do you find these part-time
    jobs?"  In my case, (I'm a sales rep), I negotiated it with my mgr.
    upon my return from an 8 month maternity leave (big mistake to teach
    employees how to negotiate!).  It's pretty good most of the time. I
    mainly work M,T,W and a few hours from home during R,F.  
    
    Lynn

    I agree that it's really nice to see people expressing themselves
    without getting judgmental; as I mentioned before, I feel the "work at
    the office vs. working at home" issue is a very emotional topic.
    
    RE: .38, and working part-time.  It's really something that you have to
    negotiate with your manager.  When my daughter was born 4 years ago, I
    had spoken with my manager before I even left for maternity leave about
    the possibility of coming back at 30 hours.  The fact that I was
    planning on being in every day (I worked 8-3) helped alot, as did the
    fact that my manager was a really decent manager, and a parent herself.
    After my son was born almost 2 years ago, my husband and I decided I
    would come back full-time, due to financial stress...this turned out to
    be a bad decision emotionally, as I had a very difficult time handling
    the stress of working full-time, as I mentioned in my previous reply.
    
    Anyway, our group re-orged a few months down the road, and I found
    myself working for a differnt manager, who was very understanding about
    my situation.  Also, the other secretary in my group offered to take
    over for me during my absence, if I worked part-time.  I think that was
    the key in my situation, having someone able to take over my tasks.  I
    will always be grateful to the other secretary (thanks, Mary-Lynn!). 
    Working part-time is much much better for me; I finally can spend time
    with my children!
    
    Anyway, you probably got alot more information than you bargained for
    :-) but that's my story.  I hope it helps.
    
    Linda   

    re: working part-time.
    It is important to consider that not all folks who wish to become
    part-timers have positions that will be able to be flexible enough
    to handle part-timing or flex-time or job-sharing.
    Witness: In my case I work as a specialist at the Canadian CSC and 
    although we don't always get the same amount of calls at a scheduled
    time, I will have calls open for days at a time that need research
    and action on the part of myself or my customer. If I am not
    present any one day of the week on a normal basis, that continuousness
    in service is compromised. The customer may phone back with a vital
    clue only to find that "She's not in today" and have to work with
    another specialist. In practice this does happen on occasion, but
    management here does NOT wish to encourage this in the least. So,
    part-timing for specialists (up here anyway - I know some of the 
    bigger groups in the states DO have different schedules) is not
    feasible AND NOT DESIRED by management. (That I am afraid IS the 
    major setback here).
    
    Monica

    RE: -1 - Excellent point, Monica, and one that I neglected to include
    in my reply. There are other things to consider than "will your manager
    agree to part-time."
    
    I'll stop there as I feel I'm straying too much from the original
    topic...Moderaters, please feel free to move my note if need be.
    
    Linda

    I'm baaaack!!  Just had to start here replying....
    
    I have been out of work, part by choice, mostly by lack of DECtag jobs
    since labor day weekend '93, and having a BALL with it!  I am back only
    a week and HATE the morning marathon and chaos, the night before of
    making sure the school bag is packed, coffee is set, laundry is clean,
    ironed, mittens hats and snow pants dry or drying...grrrr!
    
    I do love the independance of knowing I have a real income coming in,
    (but no time to spend it while working) I adored the idea of being able
    to shop during the day, without the crowds (Especially great during the
    Christmas shopping season), I hooked up with another friend who is out
    due to a back injury from her work.  We enjoyed shopping, lunch (OK it
    usually was a McD's or Friendly type place) and lots of long phone
    conversations.
    
    As for AJ, who just turned the ripe old age of 7 on January 2, he still
    continued going to the sitter's after school for two hours per day, on
    days off or noon dismisal day he came home and AJ and I did some
    quality time together, like catching the first matinee at 1p.m., going
    somewhere starting with lunch at McD's or some other place of his
    choice.  We planned on a day in downtown Boston pre holiday, but there
    were no half days in December, and the weather didn't cooperate.
    
    I kept in close contact with his teacher, guidance councelor and
    principal.  He is having a hard time with his teacher this year, she
    caused us some major stress in the first few weeks of school, but
    that's another whole story.  I was able to "drop in" on school
    functions, chaperone field trips, bake for the holiday school parties
    and in general have a great time.
    
    Do I *adore* being again a working mom?  NOT!!  I too wish I could cut
    back to part time, imagine my reaction on day two when the boss asked
    me if I could work OVERTIME! 
    
    Regretfully I'm back, there won't be much time for notes this time, but
    at least I can talk to adults more often.  This conference is probably
    the one thing I missed the most of being off for several months!
    
    Lyn

    We missed you, glad to have you around!
    
    Monica