Conference moira::parenting

    Due to school situations, we will not have a cafe for the kids this
    year, so everyone will "bagit" for lunch.  I buy two of everything like
    new backpacks (this past summer at Totes in ME for $3. ea) and lunch
    bags (thermal zip type $2 ea).  Each kid got new sneakers (anything $10
    or under is acceptable - they wear them out/or grow thru them too
    fast); new "hiking like" shoes (also under $10).  So I spent $25/kid
    for essentials.  As far as clothes, I get them what they need.  New
    underwear and socks for both (they don't wear socks in the summer) -
    about $15 total.  I've been buying t-shirts and shorts (nothing over $5 ea)
    (example:  Rich's had t-shirts for $3 and Walmart had shorts for $3)
    since my kids have plenty of jeans/pants for the winter months and 
    kids today will wear shorts until the snow flies.  Neither of my kids 
    will wear sweaters because they get too hot - so an occasional sweatshirt 
    will do.  One will need a new coat this winter, the other will need new
    boots.  Both need new ski-pants - so we'll include those in the X-mas
    pile of expenses.
    
    If the sizes fit from last year - we use them again.  The younger will
    get the outerwear from the older and the older gets new from Nana
    (usually).
    
    So far I've spent about $125-$130 for two kids for back-to-school.  I
    will not spend such a big amount again - but will get things on sale as
    I see them.  Especially end-of-season stuff!
    
    As far as fads go it depends.  I have no problem with my kid dressing
    like the rest - as long as it doesn't cost me more.  I won't buy "light
    or pump" shoes - but I will buy oversized tops, net shirts, etc. 
    anything I can get for a bargain, I'll get.  I have an 8 yr old who
    likes my taste in clothes for him, but a 6 year old who I refuse to buy
    anything for unless he's there.  I've been burned too many times since
    he was 3!!!
    
    -sandy
    

    have kindergartener going on 8 AM bus to school and then back onto bus
    to after school care at 11:30. So lunch is to be carried to school but eaten
    at back at extended day.
    
    (1) am looking for one of those things you put in lunches to keep the stuff
    cold...freezer paks ...but looking for one not too heavy and
    about 5 x 8, about an inch thick...saw it on Today show last year...
    most are 3 x 5, about 2" thick.
    
    (2) don't want to him (kindergartener) to have to carry backpack plus
    lunch box...so i want a lunch bag that fits inside backpack. has 
    anyone seen insulated backpacks, maybe ??
    
    where can i go for good selection...   ?
        

    I don't know where you're located, but Bradlees has insulated lunch
    bags for under three dollars and I picked up some small ice packs in
    Caldor for 99 cents.  There isn't a refrigerator in the area in which I
    work, so I carry an insulated bag with an ice pack and my lunch in it
    to work and my lunch stays cold all day.  As a matter of fact, when I
    unzip the bag, I feel the cold coming out.
    
    Lori B.

    Lyn,
    
    My AJ is starting pre-school this year and I am not going to spend a
    lot.  I do plan on buying a few new outfits for the first week.  Then
    as sales come up I will get more.  Plus he still has clothes that still
    fit from last year.  (not much but some he can wear) 
    
    My father too did not like sneakers and we could not wear them on gym
    day.!  But, I don't care what AJ wears as long as it looks right with what 
    he is wearing.  His Nana just got him the new Light up Sneakers by LA 
    Gear I believe.  But that is a grandparent for you and we all need those!!!
    
    
    But for lunches I would see what is on the menu first before sending him 
    out to see if your AJ wants what they are having.  
    
    AJ is a very fashionable child at the age of 4.  He sees what everone else 
    wears and wants it but I only get things on sale, but those grandparents 
    get what ever he wants unless mommy says NO.  
    
    Well I hope school shopping goes weel for you.  I know I can not wait to 
    take AJ shopping it is always a trip to take him to a store.  We have more 
    fun shopping then eating ice cream.  
    
    Well Good luck to all who are school shopping soon.    
    
    
Angela
    
    with a AJ too oh I can not forget the new one Michael whos now 10months

    I did manage to find one thing for lunch that isn't insulated, but is a
    great space saver.  What ever the brand of "keeper" that has the opaque
    plastic with the ridges, it makes a compact lunch thing.  one half is
    like a standard plastic sandwich holder, but it flip open has a cover
    on the other half with three separate sections.  I put something like a
    granola bar in one part, chips or chex mix in the cube shaped one, and
    a carrot stick or celery in the shorter narrow section.  Total size is
    about that of two plastic sandwich keepers stacked.  about $3 or 4. I
    bought mine at the Fair dept store.
    
    Lyn

    I went out and bought my son, who is 13, 2 prs. of shorts, 4 shirts,
    new underwear, and a pair of jeans to start school.  Plus I ordered his
    sneakers, and a pair of football cleats (hopefully they will be in
    before school starts or he will have to wear his old sneakers).  I figure I 
    will buy more the week after school starts or as I find things on sale.  
    It cost me around $200 just for that.  His birthday is in October, so I 
    always tell everyone to buy him clothes, give a gift certificate to a 
    clothing store he likes, or give him money to buy his own.  
    
    My mother inlaw gave him a new Champion dufflebag, and I had to buy him
    pens, pencils, notebooks, etc.  As far as lunch there is no way that he
    will bring a lunch, it is just not cool now that he will be in the
    High School.  In a note that they sent at the end of the school year they
    suggested that we send around $2.00 a day at first until we find out
    how much they need.  I guess their lunches are "a la carte".  My mother
    in law is ordering him a winter jacket that he wanted, so at least I
    won't have to buy that.  But, he will need new boots, hats, gloves,
    etc.  It never ends!!!!
    
    Cheryl        

   In some respects, I guess I have it a little easier than other parents in 
   that Matt is in a parochial elementary school (Grade 3/4 now) and wears a 
   specific uniform - sure helps to cut down on the "competition" for who's 
   wearing what !!!!!

   I spent @ $200 on his regular uniform - 4 pairs of pants, 2 short sleeve
   shirts, 2 long sleeve shirts, 2 sweaters, 2 sweater-vests - and another
   $43 for his gym uniform - sweatshirt, sweatpants, tee shirts(2), shorts,
   and a bag (hoping it can be used for book bag too !!)  The uniforms I
   got him in First grade lasted him two years so I'm hoping that will happen
   again, but not so sure this time !!  Sneakers are ONLY allowed on gym
   day, but so far, the ones I bought this summer still fit, so we'll probably
   wait for birthday/Christmas (Nov/Dec.) to get a new pair - have to check
   last year's "school shoes" and see if they'll do for another month or so
   as well.

   His lunches are provided by the school for (last year anyway) $1.00/day -
   NO bag lunches are allowed, unless specific medical issues - again, 
   minimizes the "what have YOU got ?" problems.

   The teachers, for the past 3 years anyway, send home a "welcome to grade X"
   note before school starts and lists the items the kids need to bring with
   them on the first day - notebook, folders, scissors, pens/pencils, glue,
   etc - can't remember for sure everything on it, but we're going to BJs
   this weekend to pick up what he needs......

   So all in all, I guess I'm spending @ $300.00 to outfit him for the year,
   baring having to get new shoes !  

   Debbi

    I bought 3-4 pair of jeans, and some long-sleeve shirts.  I expect
    James will be going to school in shorts and shirts the first week
    or so, unless the weather gets really chilly.  He's in afternoon
    session at kindergarten.
    
    I'm sort of waiting to buy stuff till I see what he prefers, what
    other kids are wearing and what the school expects.  
    
    I'm going to call the school before class takes in and find out if
    James needs to bring a snack the first day, if there are any "dress
    codes" regarding T-shirts, etc.  I guess I'm being silly, but if I can
    get the info ahead of time, it could save both of us some
    embarrassment.  I wish more schools would send out lists of what they
    think the kids should bring with them the first day, etc.  This would
    make our lives easier!!!

    Lyn,
    
    I think it's unrealistic not to allow a kid (especially a boy) to wear
    sneakers to school these days.  In fact, at my daughter's public
    school, the rule is that you HAVE to wear sneakers and pants or shorts
    on gym days (twice a week).  That's a switch from my Catholic school
    days!  
    
    Since, no one has responded for a girl yet--Caileigh is entering first
    grade.  She probably didn't NEED anything.  But, I have bought her
    two short-sleeved (but fall-ish) dresses because it's always so warm
    at the beginning of the year; two "skort" type outfits; one jeans/shirt
    outfit; one jeans jacket; several pair of leggings; and a pair of new
    white cloth (cheap Ked imitations) sneakers.  And matching hairbows for
    everything, of course.  I'll get heavier sneakers and anything else
    they HAVE to have later in the fall.  This weekend, I have to get her 
    shoes and a new backpack.  She'll have to use last year's lunch box.
    
    Paige is in preschool.  I bought her one back-to-school dress.  (Just
    call her Hand-me-down Paige!)   
    
    I don't have a handle yet on what still fits them for more wintery
    clothes.  Anything they need, they'll probably get for their December 
    (9th and 10th) birthdays. 
    
    BTW, I also bought them EXPENSIVE dresses for their Grandpa's wedding
    next weekend!
    
    Tracy
    

    Alex is going into 3rd grade (Paton School, Shrewsbury MA).  She has
    never liked wearing dresses to school, for modesty reasons: if the
    class clowns don't lift her skirt, the jungle gym will reveal enough to
    leave said clowns snickering and pointing.  We've gotten some wear out
    of the dresses by adding the dignity of leggings, but it's MUCH better
    for everyone concerned to stick to jeans or cords.
    
    Sneakers, period.  Recess takes a LOT out of all the clothes, including
    shoes (yes the grandparents need a reality check!).  Alex has a new
    outfit for the first day of school, but I see NO reason to go on a
    clothes shopping spree just because the stores declare it The Season. 
    Alex will wear shorts and Ts probably halfway into October, with a
    sweatshirt "living" in the backpack (mornings are chilly but it gets
    hot by recess).
    
    Backpacks are still "way cool"; Alex buys her lunch at school, and on
    the rare occasions when she bags it (early release/go to afterschool
    program early) she really *bags* it, as in disposable brown paper. 
    Lunch boxes are a pain to keep track of when the cafeteria empties
    (physically and chronologically) directly onto Recess.  Keeping stuff
    cold: pack a frozen juice box.  It'll keep everything else cold and be
    potable by lunchtime.  Whether I pack a lunch for Alex or she buys it,
    she knows the rule is NO GIVING FOOD AWAY OR TRADING.  First of all,
    it's just poor form; secondly, Alex might get the raw end of the deal,
    and third (most convincing and really most important), we don't know 
    what kind of allergies the OTHER kid might have to the food we're
    giving them.
    
    Leslie
    the other kid might have

    Funny - I just buzzed around at lunch today and did our back-to-school
    shopping.
    
    Jason gets hand-me-downs for just about everything.  I got him a new
    pair of overalls and a shirt, but he's pretty well set.  A few weeks
    back I bought them each a backpack and lunch box, when they were on
    sale.  Both of their schools REQUIRE a backpack for papers/notes etc.
    
    For Chris, I went to Rich's where they're having a GREAT sale on
    clothes and got him 3 pairs of pants, 2 long-sleeve shirts, 4?t-shirts,
    and a pair of sweats.  Chris' clothes and Jason's outfit cost $42.00.
    
    Both boys got new sneakers the beginning of the summer, and I bought
    them fall jackets and some summer "clearance" clothes last week, so we're 
    all set.  Also, I bought them some "fancy" shoes/clothes for my
    sister's wedding in a few weeks, but normally they'd just wear sneakers
    all year - everyone's a lot more comfortable, and I don't have to worry
    about them getting "ruined" (although their shoes cost less than the
    sneakers (-:)
    
    For the most part, I'm trying to NOT spend a lot on back-to-school.  I
    went crazy last year, and by the time we had really HIT the winter,
    they had outgrown most of their "new" clothes, so it ended up a waste.
    We just buy things as they need them.
    
    Chris switches between school lunch and bag lunch, depending on his
    mood.  Jason's lunch is included as part of his tuition, but I imagine
    he'll be bagging it a lot since he's such a fussy eater.
    
    I did see some neat backpacks at Stuart's and Rich's that was a
    backpack, but then had a soft-sided lunch box that strapped onto the
    outside of the pack.  It looked pretty handy to me, IF your child has
    the dexterity to deal with the straps, and potentially when they're in
    a hurry.  Otherwise, if you get a soft-sided lunch box/bag, you can sew
    a "long" strap to it and then they can just toss it over their shoulder
    if it doesn't fit IN the backpack.
    
    Have fun!  

    Well, the school wasn't particularly helpful, but the secretary I spoke
    to did say they have snack time every day, so I should bring a snack
    for James the first day.  There is no particular dress code, although
    they prefer to see the kids in long pants unless the weather is really
    warm.  
    
    We don't know yet what kind of supplies we'll be on the hook for.  I
    guess we should consider buying some scissors and white glue.  We've
    got crayons, pens and pencils like you read about! :-)  I am also
    collecting the odd sheets of paper from my printer and am putting it in
    a carton for my son's teacher....I am sure they can use it!!
    
    A couple of people have asked about shoes.  My kids live in sneakers
    and have since they could walk.  I don't bother with dress shoes.  Oh,
    I'll buy them a *cheap* pair later this fall so they have something
    (reasonably) nice to wear for the holidays, but in our house, it's
    sneakers.  James wore his last pair of Stride-Rites for an entire
    school year.  Definitely worth the $$$ we spent!

>>    We don't know yet what kind of supplies we'll be on the hook for.  I
>>    guess we should consider buying some scissors and white glue.  We've
>>    got crayons, pens and pencils like you read about! :-)  I am also

  Just a hint on glue for the younger kids - last year, in one of the
  wholesale stores (I think BJs), I found a pack of 24 GLUE STICKS that I
  got for my son - the neat part,  in addition to not running out and still
  having PLENTY for this year, is that the stick is PURPLE in color going
  on (dries clear) so it helps the younger ones to keep track of where they
  have already put it and the stick is a lot less mess than liquid white
  glue...........

  Debbi

RE: Dress codes

	Public schools seldom have specific dress codes. Too much risk of
offending somebody to the point of litigation. However, most school systems
do allow individual teachers to set some boundaries and I've yet to meet
a principal, administrator, or teacher who won't send home a child whose
dress is "inappropiate" for school (this happens mostly with older kids and
things like t-shirts with offensive slogans, hats with offensive slogans or
symbols, short skirts, lycra, tube tops, clothing with holes in inappropriate
places, etc.). Most schools will demand that sneakers be used for gym class.
Many elementary teachers, especially Kindergarten, prefer sneakers anyway. They
almost always have laces (learning to tie stuff is a key indicator of fine
motor function) and it saves the teacher time and fuss on gym day (either dealing
with kids changing from shoe to sneaker or having to "babysit" kids who forgot -
gym class is usually a classroom teacher's lunch or prep period). For
Grandma I suggest you have her contact the principal and aks what's appropriate
and then take her out shopping for kids shoes and sneakers - be sure to 
constantly remind Grandma of the likelyhood the child will need at least a size
larger by January while looking at the $50 price tag on a pair of shoes!!

RE: supplies

	In these days of scarce resources teachers are happy for any contribution
of supplies you send with your child. However, it is a good idea to check with 
the teacher as to what should be presented to the teacher versus kept in the
child's pack. Backpacks are great even for small children. They help kids learn
a semblance of organizational skills and provide a great place for the teacher
to place notes to parents and work done by your child and be reasonably sure 
that at least one parent will see it! Lunch is usually a matter of taste and
peer pressure. You will likely find that even if you put something in your
childs lunch that they absolutely hate the child will be happy. He can trade it
with someone else who loves it (and there's always at least one kid who loves
everything!). Buying lunch once in a while is a big deal to most kids and as long
as you check the menu and see if it's something they're likely to eat you can't
beat the price of most school lunch programs.

    -.1> You will likely find that even if you put something in your
       > childs lunch that they absolutely hate the child will be happy. 
       > He can trade it with someone else who loves it (and there's always 
       > at least one kid who loves everything!).
    
    And apparently there's always at least one parent who encourages this
    sort of behavior, making it an uphill battle for those of us who do NOT
    want their kids giving away their planned meal OR eating <food? junk?>
    from god-knows-where.
    
    Leslie

    And of course I'm sitting here reading this string thinking, oh my God,
    what if Spencer someday trades food with someone and that food has
    pineapple? All of my careful planning and watching would be for naught.

    	Somehow we are going to have to drill into our kid*s* (Who wants to
    take a chance with Griffin) to not take anyone else's food (sort of
    like an extended Halloween warning).

    				Wendy

>    Keeping stuff
>    cold: pack a frozen juice box.  It'll keep everything else cold and be
>    potable by lunchtime.
  
and/or make the sandwich with frozen bread.  Not only does it have the above 
mentioned advantage, but it's a lot easier to spread stuff like peanut 
butter.

One word of caution is that sometimes, on the first day of school, we have 
gotten a "Please DON'T bring" list.  Once we were suprised in that "trapper 
keepers" were encouraged in my daughters elementary school, but discouraged 
in my son's (same school district, different schools), so don't overdo it 
ahead of time.

Clay 

    Being new to this grade school stuff...what's a trapper keeper?
    
    -Tracy
    

    a fancy notebook with slots to hold different items with velcro strips
    keeping them closed - not sure why a scool system would so no
    though.....

Maybe the teachers can't stand the sound of velcro.

    No trappers because they are too bulky, no place for the kids to keep
    them.  They don't fit in desks or lockers.
    
    Julie
    

re: .20

They also have rings in them, which is another thing that can drive teachers 
crazy.

re: .21

That was the reason that was explained to us.  Didn't make sense to me, but 
since they are relatively expensive I didn't shed any tears.  They don't 
really do much that an ordinary ring binder and a few slash folders don't.

Clay

RE: .15

	Yup, I've found this to be absolutely true. And the only time it gets
policed is if a parent specifically states that the child is allergic to
something and the child does most of the policing themselves.

RE: frozen juice boxes

Many school systems that actually do recycling are discouraging "juice boxes".
The process used to manufacture them prevents them from being easily recycled.
Many of these schools encourage cans or plastic containers.

I know of two stores that claim they recycle aseptic packages (juice packs) --
Bread & Circus and Harvest Coop.

    In my kids school (New Searles, NAshua, NH) the kids are not allowed to
    swap lunch items.  After hearing Wendy's story, I can fully sympathize.
    
    My kids will use all returnable rubbermaid for food items.  We have
    small round containers for cookies, yogurt, fruit.  We have sandwich
    boxes, we have 16-oz soda bottles with a closeable pour spout, we use
    plastic spoons/forks, we have the thermal lunch bags, and will use the
    drink bottle as an ice pack (we put 1/4 the amount of drink in the
    bottle and freeze the night before, then fill it in the morning and it
    acts as an ice pack -- worked great this summer at Camp Sargent in the
    90 degree days!)  After a while the bottle might crack - but 16-oz soda
    bottles are easy to come by!
    
    I bought backpacks big enough to store their light jackets, since they
    usually loose them or forget them somewhere and they are stolen before
    the next day.  I figure winter coats are remembered because it's too
    cold to not wear it, but spring coats are usually needed in the morning
    only.
    
    -sandy
    
    (hoping for a relatively inexpensive school year)

    re: .15
    
    Wendy,
    There's a little girl in my neighborhood who is allergic to peanut
    butter. A few weeks ago she happened to be around when I was giving
    lunch to my son, so I offered her some. I asked if she wanted peanut
    butter or cheese and she said cheese. When I talked to her mom later
    on she reminded me of the allergy and said that the little girl is
    pretty good about reminding people of the allergy. And later that week
    I was giving snacks to the neighborhood kids and she asked me if there
    was peanut butter in the snack. The point is the kids can take
    responsibility for it fairly early on. That little girl is 4, five
    sometime this fall.