| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 535.1 | My opinion - everything carries a risk | NASZKO::DISMUKE | WANTED: New Personal Name | Mon Jun 14 1993 11:10 | 10 |
| I would say what you feel. There are always risks - even with
pregnancy - but even if things change - she will know you cared and
that sounds like the message you want to get across.
I would wait till she returns before sending a gift. Sending a card
would be nice now - but just to be on the safe side, I'd send the gift
when she returned home. Either way - let her know how you feel!
-sandy
|
| 535.2 | | EOS::ARMSTRONG | | Mon Jun 14 1993 11:54 | 13 |
| There is always a risk. the largest risk is that after the
baby is born, the birth mother may not relinquish custody.
Each state is different and cross state adoptions are much more
complicated. Unless you are very close to the adoption and
the laws of both states, it quite impossible for you to gauge
the risk and know when it is lessening.
I would suggest you base all your actions with the full assumption
that all will go well. And keep your fingers crossed.
We were incredibly lucky....3 adoptions and all went smoothly.
I know that is not typical.
bob
|
| 535.3 | | GAVEL::PCLX31::satow | gavel::satow or @mso | Mon Jun 14 1993 12:44 | 8 |
| We had friends that went through an open adoption process. They flew to
Atlanta, expecting to come home with a baby, but did not. There is a lot
that can go wrong, and right now is a very stressful time for your aunt and
uncle. I would suggest an "I'm thinking of you" or "praying for you" or
whatever suits your style and theirs, and to be prepared for support or,
hopefully, rejoicing. That way they won't feel forgotten.
Clay
|
| 535.4 | Send a Telegram! | WECARE::STRASENBURGH | Better Days Ahead | Mon Jun 14 1993 13:10 | 5 |
| What about sending a telegram to them . My grandfather sent my mother a
telegram when she was in the hospital when I was born and I still
have it in my baby book. It means alot to me.
Lynne
|
| 535.5 | Be sensitively accepting | STOWOA::SPERA | | Mon Jun 21 1993 09:45 | 20 |
|
I agree, you have to assume it is going to go well and then be there
for them if it doesn't.
Evergreen bookstore in Sudbury has a baby book...I think it is called
"the first even years...an adoption version". It is loose leaf with
pretty pages for recording birth, adoption, shots, etc. It is sometimes
hard to find books that are appropriate and this one would suit an
adoption by a couple.
I wanted to feel that my family would embrace my daughter as they had
all the other children so do you what you would do for the other kids
in your family with a little extra sensitivity to messages in books
etc. Maybe send a note that says you can't wait to meet the newest
member of the family. Do you have children. Some kids I know made
a little book of drawings welcoming my daughter to church. I think
she'll like it and it makes me feel good knowing it is there for her.
Be natural and pray..
|