Conference moira::parenting

    Lyn,
    
    I guess I have to echo your comment with my own: 
    "what's wrong with some of these kids' *families* today?"
    
    Unfortunately, the answer is often, "a lot". The schools are
    trying in a kind of misguided way to redress shortcomings in the
    homes of some kids. I feel part of the answer lies in our society 
    deciding that it will not tolerate violence and the use of weapons, 
    and if that were to ever happen, which I doubt, it would take 
    generations. Maybe the school is trying clumsily to do that.
    
    Lucy 

    My K kid was planning to be a "cowboy" for Halloween, but he told me he
    couldn't wear his holster/gun because guns were not allowed in school.
    
    We must understand that not all people consider "household items" as
    "weapons", but when you get a kid who is angry, frustrated and out to
    "do someone" - it doesn't matter what is handy.  A cafeteria fork will
    do some damage!!  Our schools are becoming more and more like prisons.
    
    I am NOT looking forward to my kids' future in high school!
    
    -sandy

    
    
    Personally, I'm happy to see a policy like that in the school...I'm
    assuming it was a school district policy, and not just for the
    kindergarten?  I would hope that at the kindergarten level the teachers
    and principals could be a little more lenient in the case of the
    show-and-tell with nails.
    
    I live in Franklin where my late next-door neighbor was beaten to
    death with a baseball bat by an 18 year old kid who had God only knows
    what gripe with the man.  I'm scared for the kids I don't have yet.  My
    next door neighbor's two boys are a little on the wild side, basically
    good kids, but the Mom is widowed and they don't really get enough
    attention.  The 12 year old showed me the slit he cut in the sole of
    his boot so he can carry a knife into places where he's not supposed
    to, then proceeded to tell me about all the arguments/fights he's been
    in about the *stupidest* things.  Maybe he's all talk, but his 6 year
    old brother, in the first grade, likes to play monkey see monkey do and
    I wouldn't be surprised if he gets his hands on one of his brother's
    knives some day...
    
    With some of the recent school violence incidents fresh in my mind, I
    have to admit that a school policy banning any kind of weapon makes me
    feel a little bit better (again, I'm not a parent, yet).  Maybe by the
    time my kids get into school, they won't have to be afraid of what
    "Johnny's" got tucked away in his sock...
    
    Sorry, I'm venting a little bit, but I see the policy as a positive
    step, urban, suburban, or rural...
    
    Terri

    It *is* scary to be a kid *or* a parent today.
    
    I think the school *district* should have a policy on how they
    will deal with situations like this.
    
    My daughter attends Elm St. Jr. High in Nashua and they've had
    *two* incidents so far this year where kids brought guns to
    school!!  I don't know if they had a policy about guns before it
    happened, but they sure do now.  Both kids were expelled, and
    thankfully, no one was hurt.  In both cases, the guns were unloaded,
    but in at least one of the cases, they had the "clip" in their
    bag.
    
    After the first incident, I called the superintendent of schools
    and asked what they were doing to prevent such an occurance from
    happening again.  She said they felt it was an "isolated incident"
    and that no drastic preventive measures should be taken. (sic)
    She did send a letter to all parents notifying them of what happened.
    
    I'm scared to death of what might happen to my child if she should
    get between two violent kids. (Interestingly enough, she doesn't 
    seem to be afraid. )
    
    I want to move out of the city so my children don't have to be
    subjected to this kind of environment, but they don't want to move.
    Any maybe we can't get away from it.  Maybe it's society today.
    
    No answers, but I sure share the fear.
    
    Noranne

    
    I live in Oxford, my daughter (age 11) brought what seems to be the same 
    policy home the other day.  We had to read it with her and both sign it. 
    It also stated they couldn't wear hooded sweatshirts or baggy pants
    (anything that weapons could be concealed in).  
    
    It was interesting this morning to read in the paper about someone who
    was suspended in another town for bringing a weapon being able to
    enroll in another town with the new laws that say you don't have to go
    to school necessarily in your town.  
    
    Dianne

    I live in Dudley, next town to Oxford, which is where Lyn and the
    previous noter live.  This morning's newpaper had an article about two
    15 year old Oxford GIRLS having a planned fight in back of a school (not 
    on the school property) and one of them had 2 kitchen knives.  One was
    arrested, but since they weren't on school property, I guess she won't
    be expelled.  Too bad....they both should be.
    
    This world is crazy and I'm GLAD to see a weapons policy in the public
    schools--it happens no matter where you live, unfortunately.  I'm not
    looking forward to my daughter going to the local high school either. 
    
    
    Robin

    Same here.  But shouldn't there be a state law about this?  I mean,
    there are laws that say how many days kids are supposed to be in
    school, how many courses anmd what kind of courses they should take,
    etc., etc.  Shouldn't there be a law that says no weapons on school
    property?
    
    Maybe I should enroll the entire family in a martial arts course...

    I taught a class on 'electricity and magnetism' a few years
    ago to our 5th and 6th graders...and brought in a bunch of
    big nails to build electo-magnets, and then we turned them
    into simple motors....and i also got comments about how dangerous
    they could be.  I doubt the teacher would have been permitted
    to use nails.  Since I was 'just a parent' (who didn't know any better),
    they allowed me to coninue.

    I think they were wrong to confiscate AJ's nails.  School
    is not a prison....Lets see, do they allow the kids to wear belts?
    Use knives in the Cafe?
    bob

    re: basenote
    
    Its obvious to me that the INTENT of bringing the nails had nothing
    to do with having weapons.
    
    Since the school is in a weapons mindset I am not that suprised they
    perceived the nails as weapons.  As another noter pointed out many
    innocuous things can be used as a weapon.  How about belts?  Belts
    can be used to strangle people or to hit them.  Should belts be 
    banned?
    
    Using some common sense I would consider knives, guns, numchucks, 
    brass knuckles, & hand grenades weapons.  Nails, belts, ballbats
    (in ballgames) pencils etc. I would not consider as weapons.
    
    Too bad the school didn't have more tact and simply explain that
    because of the stress schools are under that even big nails scare
    them and for you to please not send them to school in the future.
    
    A kindergartender attacking someone with a big nail?  Come ON, that
    is kind of a stretch.
    
    Jeff

I read in _Time_ that two girls, 11 and 12, were going to stab a teacher with
a large knife (12-inch blade) because the teacher had reprimanded the 12-year-
old the day before, and the child was mad.  All the kids pooled their lunch
money -- would the girls go through with it?  There was over $200 in the kitty.
Fortunately, there was a girl from another class hanging around outside the
classroom, and the principal saw her, and the girl spilled the beans.  The
two girls were taken to jail and booked.  The article ended by saying the police
officer was horrified because as the girls were brought in, they were both 
*giggling*.

The article said that a lot of children bring weapons to school for one reason
or another, and that kindergarteners and preschoolers were not exempt.

So, with this in mind, I'd eagerly sign a weapons policy.  Even though *my*
kids wouldn't bring in weapons, I'm not at all sure about everybody else's
"little angels".  At least the school board is aware of what's going on today.
It's sad, and a sad commentary on the childhood of today's youngsters, but
it's very real.

As far as the nails go...  I think they overreacted.  It's not like he brought
in a "napier" or a "noose". 

    
    Idealistic answer:
    
    LAWS do not change behaviors.  Attitudes do. We have a responsibility
    (IMNSHO) to teach our children that, irrespective of what they see on
    TV and irrespective of what they see their peers do, problems are not
    solved through violence, and violence is not cool.
    
    
    Pragmatic answer: I would support a weapons policy, but I would make
    ^%$#$ sure it was backed up by an education program to at least aim at
    the idealistic, long term answer, as above.
    
    Jamd

RE: state law

	A bill was reported out of the education committee this week to change
the laws in the following manner. First, it makes it easier for principals to 
expell students who bring weapons to school. Second, it effectively sets up
such an expulsion as being statewide so that a student expelled from school A
can't show up at school B. Third, It gives principals much more leeway in dealing
with students who have been involved in incidents outside of school that may
present a danger to the school community. The bill is on a fast track through
the legislature but many legislators want to ensure that alternative education
opportunities are provided for young students(ie under 16).

The current law on firearms in schools calls only for a fine of $1,000 dollars 
or 1 year in jail or both (Chapter 269). There are no laws covering other items
at the state level. Chapter 76 section 17 currently guarantees a student the
right to a hearing before the school committee before he can be excluded from 
school. Chapter 71 section 37H states that all rules and regulations governing
student conduct must be published and at the High school level it must be 
reviewed by the handbook review committee and published in the student handbook.

    When I did my student teaching, I taught in a class of very upper class
    kids.  One day the teacher left me alone during a teacher's meeting
    with the kids and they decided to try me out by throwing lit matches in
    a wastebasket.  All I had to do was point out that they were sure
    acting dumb for what was supposed to be pretty smart kids :-)
    
    My colleague, however, taught in a ghetto school.  One day he got
    really involved in what he was explaining and forgot to keep an eye on
    the class.  A six inch knife sailed past his head and stuck in a crack
    in the blackboard.  He never turned his back on that class again.  He
    said that teachers usually walked in twos in the corridors.
    
    ccb

    These conversations SCARE ME TO DEATH!
    
    What is it in our (society, parents, everyone) behaviour and lifestyle
    that has led children to even CONSIDER that this is accepted
    behaviour!!
    
    Monica
    (bracing myself for parenthood in the 90's)
                         

    My kids have had the experience of violence within the school.
    My daughter was complaining that she wasn't feeling good and wouldn't
    go to school. After digging and finding out the right story she was
    afraid to go to school. Apparently a gang of girls didn't like her.
    They threatened to beat her up. Now knowing the types of girls they
    are, (who they hang with what kind of trouble that they have gotten in 
    in the past) my daughter feared for her life. She knew that most of
    them carried knives.
    
    I went to the principle and let him know what was happening. Of course
    he said that ...they are one big family and that there are no students
    that carry weapons in HIS school.... WRONG. My kids knew many who
    carried weapons.
    
    As a matter of fact my 14 yr old son came home with a knife that looked
    like a gun... His father and I went spastic(sp?). Between his father
    and I we have had to take away several knives. And of course he feels 
    that we are wrong because he needs protection... That there are gangs,
    people that don't like you so they want to hurt you. My son was jumped
    by a few because he and a friend got into a beef and his friends
    friends/family jumped him. He is smaller that the average 14, and always 
    has to prove that he can handle himself, if they don't like you they
    want to fight, if you look at them wrong they want to fight.
     
    I know that in quite a few high schools there are students who carry 
    weapons, but the school will say that they don't.
    
    I know of another who was petrified to go to school and when her mother
    made her go she took a knife for protection, but they found the knife
    and she got kicked out of school for a year.
    
    It's not as easy as it is in elementary school, the worries get more
    and more as they get in JH and HS. I think the fears are more with
    boys, boys are always trying to prove themselves.
    
    People say that the schools are getting to be like prison, well how
    many of us had to have police (not security guards) at the school. We
    need it now, and it's a damn shame that you send you child to school for 
    an education and you got worry about them there. I FEAR FOR THESE KIDS, 
    MY KIDS....OUR KIDS.... I wish there was something else we could do. 
    
    Just had to vent a little. IT SCARES ME TO DEATH TOO.
    
    Renee'