Conference moira::parenting

Not me -- I had a lot of very stressful things going on during my pregnancy --
parents developing serious medical problems, our first "baby" (our dog)
developing serious medical problems, TFSO stuff on the job, crunch time
during my project -- you name it, it felt like it was happening.

But if you can tell a child's personality when they're only 8 months old,
Noelle is a very happy, serene child.

Maybe it's just too soon to tell :-)

	Well, I was very happy during my pregnancy, and Emily is a super
	happy kid.

	I also taught aerobics through my 37th week of pregnancy, and
	Emily is *really* active (started taking steps at 8.5 months and
	walking well at 9 months).  My family says the two are related ;-)

	Karen

    I had heard this too and when I was pregnant with my 2nd child
    and my husband suddenly left me because he "couldn't deal with
    the responsibility", I *really* worried about how the emotional
    trauma would affect my baby.
    
    But, my daughter is now 10 years old and has always been very happy
    and caring.  She was an "easy" baby and is still an "easy" child
    (for the most part).  She is always singing or humming (even in her sleep!).
    
    Although she does tend to worry about things...Hmmm...
    
    Noranne

    Well, I could dispute this theory.  I had a very difficult pregnancy,
    emotionally speaking.  I had twins and they have very different
    personalities.  One is real hyper and silly, the other is more calm and
    sensible.  Go figure...
    
    

    This is a common, perhaps universal notion of pregnant women.  I had
    such fears myself and was not reassured until my child was born.
    
    Without a longitudinal medical study, any anecdotes will not prove/
    disprove this thesis.  A longitudinal study would look at all factors
    during pregnancy including maternal stress, and then study the child at
    least through the first 2 or 3 years.  Not a simple proposition.
    
    It is similar to other speculations I've seen here in PARENTING.   One
    person has anecdotes that prove the thesis is true.  Another person has
    anecdotes that prove the thesis is not true.  No real proof either way.
    
    For one thing, we don't know what maternal hormones cross the placenta. 
    Nor do we know if any maternal hormones that DO cross the placenta
    affect the fetus.  Maybe some medical studies have been done on the
    subject.  Yet without an overall framework for the information,
    individual studies won't prove much.
    
    We can make various "spiritual" arguments, but again, without a
    longitudinal study, we can't know.
    
    Certainly skills such as music and athletics do seem to run in certain
    families.  It's hard to say how much that is attributed to genetics and
    how much to upbringing.
    
    Certainly the human condition is usually pretty stressful, what with
    wars, family deaths, famine, and what not.  Life on earth is rarely
    easy.  Yet I do think humans have a prevailing urge toward health and
    balance.  
    
    For over 50 years, people thought that upbringing was the greatest
    influence, and that genetics had little to do with personality.  This
    was due to the Freudian school.  Now we know more about genetics and
    see that genetics plays a major role.  Someday we will no doubt know
    more about the relation (if any) between maternal stress and the baby's
    well being.  For now, it is still speculative.
    
    Laura

    
    
    	My aunt Bernadet adopted a child and the yound girl who
    	carried him never spoke to him (while he was inside) and 
    	never touched her stomach and the doctor said thats why 
    	he was born since of touch problem.  
    
    
    	He wouldn't touch grass or carpet, he would only eat peanut
    	butter.  It was so wierd you would put him the grass and
    	he would just sit - never move.. (he didn't want to touch the
    	grass).. 
    
    	

I don't think there's any correlation with the mother's emotional state
during pregnancy and the child's personality.  Like Sharon, I have twins, and
they are worlds apart in their personalities. And I had an easy pregnancy
(all 6 months of it), and talked to them all the time while I was pregnant.
While both kids are extremely sociable, Jessica is much more sociable in
that she has to wave at the world. But she is extremely moody, and likes
to do things her own way. She's fairly stubborn, and only recently decided
that cuddling was ok (they'll be 2 the end of the month). Brad, on the 
other hand, is fairly even-tempered and is a cause-and-effect kind of kid.
Where Jessica tends to be lazy and doesn't want to do anything that seems
like work, Brad wants to know what every button does.  He's very affectionate
and always has been.

Re .6  That sounds like my Jessica.  Last summer when she was crawling and
learning to walk, if we put her in the grass, she'd get up on her hands
and toes so her legs wouldn't have to touch the grass.  I think that's
because grass can be scratchy and some kids don't like it.  And Jessica
doesn't like anything mushy or that will get her hands dirty like that
silly string or mud-pies.  I just chalk it up to differences in personality.

Cathy

    re .6
    My brother didn't want to touch grass either 8-).
    
    I have to agree with Laura on this, we have to remember as we
    give our anecdotes that no real proof is provided with them, one
    way or another to most "theories" of child behaviour and development.
    
    I was a stressful mom when pregnant with Charlotte, hoping each day
    that nothing would happen to her, and here she is a really super
    will balanced and happy kid.
    
    My aunt heard the news of her father's death when pregnant with
    her first child - it has always been the family's unofficial
    theory that my cousin was born with that large hole she has in
    her heart because of her mother's shock at the news. I flatly
    don't believe this. (Jackie, by the way, is a healthy happy
    39 year old and mother of one).
    
    Monica