Conference moira::parenting

    First off, Congratulations! 
    
>We asked the Pedi whether the place of birth will have any impact on the baby.
>He said, no ... but ...
    
    ...but it will make for some great stories to tell Shruthi! 
    
>Thinking back on the whole thing, I can't help getting scared.

    Probably a very normal reaction. Just pat yourself on the 
    back for being calm during the whole process.
    
>We were told that Chaya had back labor & something called precipitated labor,
>which happens extremely rarely & extremely fast.

    Back labor is pretty common and very uncomfortable for mom. 
    Did you keep driving while she delivered or stop and help
    your mother deliver?  
    
    I don't know anything about precipitated labor, what are the
    symptoms?  
    
    Again, congratulations.
    Jodi-
    
    

    Wow, what an experience!
    And as Jodi says, now that it is all over, you can appreciate it
    as a memory - I'm sure you were all pretty nervous!
    
    Can you remember what street Shruthi was born on 8-)?
    
    Unless there was any dilation, I'm not sure the doc could tell
    whether or not delivery was imminent. 
    
    Monica

    I think the word you are looking for is precipitous labor.  It is a
    rapid occurance with labor and delivery following very quickly from
    onset.  It is unpredictable, although I have coached a freind who does
    this.  First time 2 hours from when she called me.  Second time less
    than an hour from when she felt she was really in labor to a baby. 
    (Some people have all the luck).         
    
    Whether Shruthi was born in a hospital a cab, or in a garden won't hurt
    her, or the human race would have died out long ago.  

    It sounds like you are blaming yourself for staying with a hospital
    that was too far from home, despite knowing your wife's condition, and
    for staying with a doctor whom you didn't completely trust.
    
    May I humbly suggest that you look at it this way?  The birth was
    successful, if unconventional, and Baby and Mom are fine.  That's all
    that counts in the long run.  
    
    Perhaps you might have done things differently.  Most likely you just
    did the best you could.  As the expression goes, "Hindsight is 20-20."
    
    Try to enjoy the new baby and fatherhood and let go of your fears about
    what might have happened.
    
    If you have another baby, you'll surely benefit from this experience
    and you can easily select a new doctor and a closer hospital.
    
    Please try to stop blaming yourself and regain your serenity.  (Some of
    your distraught thinking may be do to normal new-parent lack of sleep! 
    We all get through it somehow.)  No harm was done.
    
    Namaste,
    Laura

    We choose our hospitals and OB's for a variety of reasons, not just
    how close they are to our homes.  You have to factor in that you chose
    a place that you were familiar with from a previous time, and perhaps
    chose a doctor because your wife was comfortable with that one, etc.  If
    you had chosen a different hospital that was closer to your home, and
    then something went wrong at that hospital, you would be wondering if
    you should have chosen a hospital that was further away! 
    
    I guess what I'm saying is that there is no perfect choice.  We make
    the best decisions we can based on a variety of factors.  You shouldn't
    blame yourself for going from N.H. to Lowell.  Think of all of the
    expectant parents who need to deliver at Brigham and Women's in Boston
    because they have high risks.  They've certainly got a long ride ahead
    of them if they live in the suburbs, but they choose it for the extra
    skills that they can find at B&Y's.  
    
    As for whether or not you should have called an ambulance -- my OB
    says that when your contractions are 5 minutes apart you have plenty of
    time to drive and do not need an ambulance.  So, again, I think you
    were acting reasonably and simply got surprised by an unexpected and 
    rare situation.  
    
    Please don't blame yourself.  Rather, commend yourself for how well you
    handled the situation.  
                                               

    Raghavan,
    
    Congratulations!
    
    A good friend of mine *nearly* had her first baby in the car because
    her labor was so short. Afterwards the doctor ruled that for any
    subsequent pregnancy, he would insist that she be induced a week or so
    before her due date, since women tend to have precipitous labor again.
    And she was told that there was no way to know ahead of time that you
    are going to have precipitous labor. 
    
    Lucy
    

Hi,

We decided not to move from Chelmsford Center (which is attached to Lowell
general) since we were extremely comfortable with the Doc. We still explored
the possibility by visiting the Nashua Center & the St. Josephs hospital, but
everyone kept telling us, driving 30 mins. should not be a consideration,
given that it was the first labor!

No, I am not blaming myself especially after I heard from a colleague of mine
that her son-in-law was just unable to drive his wife to the hospital ... I
was pretty tense but I had just one purpose in mind - to reach the hospital!
I was so much entrenched in the thought that it probably never occured to me
to pull over. Also, once the baby started crying, I knew everything was safe!

Incidentally, the birth certificate is s'posed to read born on Wood St.,
enroute to Rourke bridge (or something like that). She was born right in the
middle of the bridge ...

The moment that both of us cherish is when I turned back for a fleeting moment
and declared, "its a girl!".

Thanks for all of you who think that we did a great job! Next time around,
we'll probably camp out near the hospital!!

Raghavan

I can't believe you didn't even pull over, what incredible
drive and determination you must have!   Knowing the anxiety
is high when it's time to deliver, I think both you and your
wife should be commended for being able to keep yourselves
on the road and deliver a healthy child.

Enjoy your little one!

 		- Marji

    How much does a doctor charge for cutting the cord? :^)
    
    Jodi-

    
    so that's what this kind of labor is called. I was my mother's second
    child (of four) and was born this way. Her first labor from first
    contraction to birth was 5 hours. For me it was about 1 hour ( I was
    born in the hallway at St. Margerat's in Boston). The next one the 
    doctor told my mother he would induce or she would deliver on a
    sidewalk. She went to the hospital and was induced before being
    sedated (or given anything) and gave true natural childbirth in 
    1964. For #4 (I remember this one) she left our house to be at the
    hospital for 8pm and my sister was born at 10pm. 
    
    My older sister's water broke, but other than that nothing happened
    until 2 hours before my nephew was born. I was thinking "Great, maybe
    I'll have a fairly quick labor too".  22 hours of labor proved that
    wrong.
    
    Congratulations on keeping your head on your shoulders. I don't know
    if I would have been as calm in the same situation.
    
    Patty

from a nurse to a friend to me...

As he and his about-to-deliver wife were going up the elevator headed for the 
maternity ward, the nurse mentioned that just last week she had attended a 
woman who had given birth in that very elevator.  The new mother was *extremely* 
upset and embarrassed about delivering in the elevator and kept repeating 
"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry".  The nurse tried to soothe mentioning "Why, last 
year, we had someone deliver right on the front lawn of the hospital!".  The 
apologetic mother turned even more shades of red and lamented "I know, it was 
me".

    My friend Veronica delivered her baby in the car moments after her
    husband returned from the 7-11 store.  He was buying cigarettes for
    what he thought would be a long wait!  Luckily Veronica's mother (an
    obstetrics nurse) had urged her to take a towel just in case.
    
    The hospital staff wrapped (re-wrapped) up the baby after cutting the
    cord.  Baby was kept overnight to be sure that his inner body
    temperature was warm enough.  (Hypothermia is a risk in such
    deliveries.)  Baby and Mom were released the next morning.
    
    Laura
     

Just for future reference....Both my boys were born at Nashua Memorial Hospital
and they are just wonderful.  They have birthing rooms and the baby is born
right there, and you stay there until you are released.  They are private rooms
and you have a specific nurse assigned to you for all shifts for you entire
stay.

Deb