Conference moira::parenting

    Daryll,
    
    My major problem is not so much the toy guns, as the fact that most of
    the kids that bring them to my house have obviously not been trained in
    gun-safety.  I was raised never to even point a finger in a gun motion
    toward anything I didn't really want to kill reenforced by seat of the
    pants flying by my mother, so I am a little sensitive about them.  
    
    However, I don't permit the kids to use ANY weaponry, toy or not, in
    play around my home as I don't need to patch up the damages from
    "equalizers."  Some of the kids that come to my house have no boundries
    as far as inflicting violence on cats, dogs, and other kids and I can
    only impact them  so far by encouraging non-violent conflict
    management.  They can beat each other to a pulp at home.
    
    Meg

    
    a) I do not like guns.  I own that opinion.
    
    b) what I *see* is that the little ones think that a gun is how you
    solve problems. Not by talking.  Not by finding solutions.  Not by
    using their imagination.   Bammm! You're dead. get out of my way.
    
    yech.
    b) is the problem, in my mind.
    Jamd
    
    

    My kids picked up the point-and-shoot routine on their own - they were
    not in daycare at the time.  Seems a natural thing if they have ever
    seen (even a cartoon) one in action.
    
    I do not insist my kids NOT play guns - their play is just that - no
    other intention shown.  However, when they get out of hand and it isn't
    light play anymore, we stop.  Also, they are aware of the dangers of
    guns, how I feel about them, and seem to understant that even if they
    come across one at a friend's house, they do not remain in the same
    room.  Any curiosity can be dangerous.  I also let my brother-in-law,
    who owns some rifles, antique powder guns, etc give them all the real-
    life instruction he wants.  So far, my kids curiosity is more with play
    than real.
    
    -sandy
    

    
    I personally dislike the use of toy guns also. I have a 9 yr old
    stepson who's play time is 80% involved with violent play. What I mean
    is, everytime we turn around he's got a toy gun or fake weapon and
    saying things like "ahh, I'm gonna kill ya now" etc..  Well this rubs
    off on my 2 1/2 yr old daughter. She says things like this and wants to
    play with his guns also. I don't like it. I don't think it is proper
    play for a soon to be 3 yr old girl. I realize it is typical boys play,
    but when I see young kids blowing away other kids with guns in real
    life situations, it makes mew think. There wasn't nearly as much
    violence in the world when my brothers and I grew up. I don't think it
    is just the toy weapons that causes it, I think many kids watch way to
    much violent tv.
    
    just my 2 cents...
    
    Sandy

    Personally - I don't like the idea of very small children playing with
    weapons of any type.  Fortunately I haven't had to deal with agression
    problems of any sort yet (my daughter is only 3, and to date all her
    freinds have very gentle natures)

    I agree with the noter who mentioned safety issues.  I realize that at
    some point my child will get exposed to violence on TV or in real-life.
    And when she (or any other child I have) begins to show an interest in
    weapons of any sort - I hope I have the presense of mind to deal with
    the issue from the perspective of teaching my child about safety rather
    than get upset about the particular weapon in question.

    My son and some of his (mostly male) friends seem to be attracted like
    magnets to weapons of any sort. I am personally uncomfortable with toy
    guns for emotional reasons. So our household rule is: no store-bought
    toy guns. If he wants to make his own out of tinkertoys or cardboard,
    we let him, since his desire is so great. Swords don't bother me much
    as long as he imitates Errol Flynn outside and we are clear that a real 
    sword is as lethal as a gun.      
                                    
    I think kids like to have a magic thing that makes them powerful, and 
    for lots of kids weapons do the trick. I remember the feeling myself. 
    This is why I don't ban weapon play altogether.
    
    Lucy 

    My son became interested in guns when he saw the video, Davy Crockett,
    at age 2.  Wow, that final scene at the Alamo is heavy.  Anyway, he is
    now 2.5 and has collected an arsenal as he achieves milestones in
    potty training and other learnings.  A squirt pistol, super soaker 40, 
    and an M16 Assault Rifle make up his cache.  He sleeps with them at night 
    and play acts Davy Crockett during the day, complete with coonskin cap and
    song.  It may sound like he is into violence, but he is quite clear
    that this is all fun and play and no one gets hurt.
    
    We emphasize that these guns are toys, the movie is pretend, and that
    play includes determining if the bad guy is really bad (making peace
    is more fun - cook over the campfire together, tell stories ...) and
    if we need meat before we shoot another buffalo.  All this play really 
    gets kid's imaginations going.  

    The only rule in our house is that a toy gun is NEVER
    pointed directly at someone.  If the playing gets out
    of hand, the guns get put away for another day.
    

    My son first wanted to play with guns when he was 2.  He wanted to be a
    cowboy and to be a cowboy he had to have a gun and a horse.  Well, he
    didn't get the horse.  We taught him gun safety (we do have one in the
    house - under double lock and keys) and to never point a gun at
    anyone or any animal.  Brian is now 5.  He has shown us that he is 
    very responsible and we have not had a problem with the toy guns.
    
    I feel the gun safety is very important.  Brian told me that a friend's
    father had a gun and his friend wanted to show it to him.  Brian told
    his friend that he was not interested in seeing the gun because guns
    were dangerous and were not toys; then he walked away (just what we
    told him to do!).  Needless to say, I immediately
    called the parents to inform them that their son knew where they kept a
    gun and it obviously needed to be locked in an unaccessible place so
    this would not happen again and someone got hurt or killed.  What would
    have happened if Brian had not been exposed to gun safety?
    
    Laura G.

    I can't believe that people here are actually trying to stop a child
    from being a child.  This is all part of the natural growing up process
    that everyone goes through.  Children from all parts of history all
    took part in this type of behavior.  And look at us now.  We are all
    still here (ie. the Human Race).  I have never seen any report that
    says that if a child is brought up on gun play he will turn out to
    be a murderer/maniac!
    
    I grew up as a child with parents who did not believe in the use of
    guns either, but they allowed me to user toy guns, either store bought
    or home-made, I too watched the Road-Runner and the Three Stooges and
    I grew up perfectly normal.  I am not out on the street with my finger
    on the trigger just waiting for someone to come by.  I also have
    several guns of my own.  I have taken saftey courses and am a responsible
    parent when it comes to guns.  I bought my Stepson a BB gun and he has
    no trouble with it.  He uses it only when I am around.  He also have
    alot of toy guns.  I keep my guns locked up and the ammunition
    seperate.  The problem lies when a child becomes too curious and the
    right precations are not taken.
    
    My point is:  Let the child be a child.  You can only show them right
    from wrong, but you cannot prevent them from making the wrong choices.
    
    Kevin

    Kevin,
    Yes, I too was brought up on Road Runner and had water guns as a 
    kid. I think the concern for parents now is there is so much more
    media intrusion in our lives and an overwhelming amount of it
    presents a very violent world to us and our kids. Things ARE different
    for families now, and so perhaps greater care must be taken in
    teaching children what is acceptable behaviour and what is not.
    
    I read (in more than one place) that the amount of violent crime
    has NOT risen in the last 25 years in Canada. What has risen
    drastically is people's perception of the amount of violence. And 
    this includes kids. 
    
    I think this is why people concerned over the "do we let them
    play with toy guns" issue. Personally, I too am concerned (even
    though my childhood is probably very much like yours) and will
    consider this seriously when my child is older.
    
    Monica

    
    Kevin - 
    
    The reason I will limit my children's exposure to guns and
    violence-oriented TV is that I *DO* want them to be children as long
    as possible.
    
    LIke an earlier noter, I allow them to create "guns" from other objects,
    but I won't encourage it. 
    
    What I really object to is the concept (which I have seen evidence of)
    that all problems can be solved by WHAM, BLAMM! GOT 'IM!
    
    
    Your mileage may vary.
    Jamd

	Well, I'd prefer my kids out playing guns than inside watching
	TV anyday.

My son also became fascinated with guns around age 2.  I think he picked it up
at daycare because we never reinforced this behavior at home.  He will make a
gun out of almost anything...duplo blocks, flashlights, etc (Anything that has
a long handle)  My mother in law has some toy guns at her house and I do let him
play with them.  I think it's just normal play for a 2.9 year old.

I do have a question though...at what age do you think a child would understand
the concept of gun safety?  I do worry, and some of these toy guns look so 
real that I know he wouldn't know the difference.  I also stop him from
pointing guns at people or himself.

Deb