Conference moira::parenting

    My husband learned early never to roughhouse with my son while 
    lying on his back...kids have a tendency to try to make further
    procreation impossible for their daddies, if you know what I mean.
     
    Lucy

    I've taken quite a few spills tripping over toys and stuff mine leave
    laying around.....
    

    
    Then there was my friend's father who picked up his grandson
    and held him high in the air and the little one's feet 
    (nicely encased in new Stride Rite hard shoes) swung and hit
    him in the nose and broke it.

    A friend of mine was wrestling with her 5 yr old son and he gave her a knee
    to the face....major black eye...it took 3 weeks to go away completely.
    
    All I've suffered so far was a bloody nose when my daughter accidentally
    head butted me when we were playing rough, I'm sure that won't be the
    last time!
    
    Sandy
               

    I can't count the number of times I've seen stars when I arrived to
    pick up Alex at daycare or whatever... she'd run to greet me, and as I
    bent down to get a hug, she would JUMP up and we'd crack heads.  She's
    8 now and it still happens, despite our best efforts!
    
    Leslie

    Not counting bloody noses and bit tongues....
    
    My son broke my tailbone WHEN he was born!  OUCH!  Actually, it
    was a relief when it happened because he had been sitting on it
    thru my whole pregnancy.  
    
    Believe me, it still bothers me...
    
    Aren't kids wonderful?

Don't hold a baby over your head ("let's play airplane!") when that baby
is prone to spitting up.  :-}

       Carol

    When my kids were little, they liked to play "Climbing Mount Daddy"
    (or Mommy).  One of us would lie on the floor, and they'd climb all
    over us.  I took many a little foot in the eye.
    
    Also, my daughter used to try to grab my mouth when I was talking so
    she could see where the words came from.  I still have a sore lower
    lip!

    Make sure the nails are short!!!!!
    
    My daughter seems to like to grab for the delicate areas of my face,
    inside of nose, lips, gums, soft skin around eyes.  It's tolerable when
    her nails are short, but if I let them get a little long it's enough to
    bring tears to my eyes.
    
    Susan

re: .1

>    My husband learned early never to roughhouse with my son while 
>    lying on his back...kids have a tendency to try to make further
>    procreation impossible for their daddies, if you know what I mean.

You also learn to be very careful when trying to comfort or restrain a 
flailing child, for example one who is having tantrum.

Clay

    Yes, Charlotte has been tearing at everyone's face - when I have her
    in my lap, she grabs my chin, pulls it to one side so that she can 
    stick her finger in and around my ear. sccraaatch! 
    
    I have also banged heads with her (when I was on the floor below
    her and she slipped) and she has brought that heavy head down 
    onto my lip, splitting it!
    
    What she does to alan though....
    As I mentioned we take turns bathing her and have had to get dressed
    in bathing gear to protect ourselves. Alan, thinking he was doing okay
    wearing his bathing trunks, soon learned that a tank top was necessary,
    as Charlotte discovered his nipples and tried enthusiastically to 
    rip them off (he says they still smart!)
    
    I love this - parents effectively showing one another their 
    battle wounds!!! 8-) 8-)
    
    Monica
    
    

    
    	re: Carol's note
    
    	I made this mistake Sunday... Emily was a bit confused by all
    	the commotion as church let out, so I was playing with her and
    	lifted her up over my head.  She opened her mouth to smile,
    	and dropped a bomb of drool onto my unsuspecting face...
    
    	Gave the pastors a laugh
    
    	(We say it's family spit, so no bother :-)   )
    

re .11

    Monica - Alan should be thankful he was wearing swimming trunks.  My
    husband wasn't that smart the first time he took a shower with our 
    daughter Michelle.

- Carol

    didn't read all replies but a definate danger...earrings!! Don't wear
    any earrings with hoops for little hands to grab. YEOOOOOUCH!!! 
                                                     

    re .8  yeah...especially those little ones with the loooong
    fingernails...they"ll tear your lip right off! 

And speaking of fingernails, watch out for your eyes.  One time when I was
holding Neil, he whipped himself around to point in the other direction,
and his fingernail scratched my eye.  It happened so fast that my eye
didn't have time to close.  Ouch!  It healed in a couple of days, but until
then every blink was painful.

                                              Tracy

    I got a black eye from Paige's hard head when rough-housing when she
    was about 2.  Try to explain that!
    
    And then, of course, there are the gray hairs...
    
    -Tracy
    

    re: .16

    My daughter scratched my eye once too.  While waiting for an appointment
    with the opthalmologist, I washed it out with cold tea.  It took away
    the sting.  

    I have a friend who was rough housing with her son back before
    Haloween.  They were wrestling on the floor when her five year old dove
    on top of her leg.  You guessed it, it broke.  It just required surgery
    last week because when they set it the blood supply was cut off and the
    bone didn't heal.  They had to re-break and re-set it.  She said
    wrestling is now out of the question.

    
    I just had to reply to this, I'm not feeling well today but am laughing
    out loud to find that other parents have gone through similar 'pains'
    as we have.  
    
    All in all the bruises are worth it when that little one tries to play
    doctor and fix the owwie...(ok maybe not the broken leg... ;-) )
    
    Rose Marie

    Temper, temper... This morning my daughter bit me on the tushie.  Still
    smarts.  Grrr!
    
    Now that my hair is longer, she gets a good grip and pulls.  She also
    perfected pinching my face and slapping whatever gets nearby.
    
    Time for the human straight-jacket again!  
    
    L

    Watch out for those new teeth coming in.  When my son was teething, he
    would rub his gums on my chin (I thought he was so smart to give Mom a
    kiss :-), needless to say, I was the first one to realize when those teeth
    first popped through!!!!  I had a gash on my chin for a week! 
    
    Laura G.

    When Jacob was just hours old, he pulled my wife's IV right out of her
    arm. He did one of those startle reflexes where his fists opened up,
    and then when his little tiny fingers closed.... they were right around
    the IV tube. Blood was *everywhere* and it was Painful (according to
    Wendy... I've never had an IV). The nurses were a bit disbelieving at
    how it happened, but thought it was funny. Needless to say, Wendy was a
    bit more careful about where his hands were until the IV came out!
    
    
    --dave--

    This past weekend my 17 month old daughter whacked her head into my
    sister's nose (on purpose) and broke it!  Now my sister has two black
    eyes and a sideways nose.  OUCH!!!
    
    Brittany didn't even cry!

    OH, I FELT THAT ONE!  My son did the same thing last week, only it was
    definately an accident - and mine didn't break.
    
    -sandy
    

Well, one of mine bashed his head on my collar bone and broke it. ccb

    Many members of my family have had their glasses broken by their
    kids...it hasn't happened to me yet, but I'm waiting...
    
    Lucy

re .26:

> Well, one of mine bashed his head on my collar bone and broke it. ccb

Broke his head or broke your collarbone?

    I hope the collarbone? 
    
    Patrick and I have banged heads a few times.  Now that he is getting
    bigger, 3 almost 4, he takes his anger out by punching (like turtles!)
    or just grabbing our face and pushing back.  My husband gets most of
    the abuse because he allows it.  He also gets punched in the you know
    what lately.  I don't know where the rough stuff is being learned
    but...beware!

Thank god (?) my collar bone  :-) :-) :-) (ouch!)

ccb

    When Christopher was about 2 years old, he had woken up his dad *REAL*
    early.  Dad, being exhausted, got him up and was laying on the couch
    while Chris was toddling around the living room.  Well, Chris got ahold
    of the jar of peanut butter I had left in the l.r. from a midnight
    snack, came right up behind a half-snoozing dad, and planted the jar
    (they were glass then!), right on his eyebrow/eye.  Nasty gash on the
    eyebrow, and a black eye for a week .... hard to believe what a 2-year
    old can do!!!  I guess he got him up though (-:
    
    

    
    Just thought of a funny one .... a friend of mine was home with her 2
    year old, Timmy, and she ran out to the mailbox, leaving the front door
    open so she could hear Timmy if he called her.  Timmy happened by, saw
    the door open, and doing as he was taught, closed the door, thus
    successfully locking mom outside, in her bathrobe.  Took about 20 mins
    to successfully convince him to open the door for her!
    
    Aren't they FUN?? (-:

    
    
    
    
    
    Was playing with my daughter last night on the bed.  She threw her
    head back... and I'll find out tomorrow whether or not my nose is broken!
    My daughter's head is pretty darn HARD!  NOw, if I can only figure out
    how to keep her from grabbing my nose for a week or so until if feels
    better.
    
    	Sigh.
    
    	-Justine
    

Re .32

Same thing happened to me. I was home with my 1.5 year old son. It was a
frigid (~0 degrees), windy night. I went out to the woodpile to get some
wood for the stove in just pants and a cotton shirt. I left the door slightly
ajar. Chris can barreling down the hall, bounced into the door, and locked it.

Where we live, the closest neighbor is 1/3 of a mile away. I knew that I didn't
want to leave him in the house alone. But I couldn't get back in either. He
didn't know how to open a door yet.

Thankfully, two lucky breaks saved me from freezing to death. One, my
father-in-law had called 15 minutes earlier to tell me that he was coming
over to pick something up. Two, I was in the process of finishing an
upstairs bathroom and as a result had taken the locks off the windows
to prepare them for painting.

I knew that once my father-in-law arrived, I could go to my neighbors,
borrow a ladder, and climb in the upstairs window.

So, for the next 1/2 hour I raced around the outside of the house looking
in windows to keep track of what Chris was up to. God I was cold!!!!

						Mark

    I have learned by observing kids behavior that they don't know where
    SOME of your vulnerable spots are.  I never leave myself wide open:
    
    Laying on my back on the floor, with my eyes closed... no WAY! Or
    in the opposite equivalent position.... say on a bed on my stomach
    without watching what Matt is up to.  Not that I don't trust him
    (he wouldn't intentionally hurt me) but I don't trust his knowledge
    or judgement on appropriate ways to jump on Daddy.
    
    The solution? Keep your eyes open and don't get blindsided.
    
    Jeff

I go locked out once too!!.  I ran outside to talk to the bus driver and when
the storm door closed behind me, it locked.  My 2 year old was in the house and
he couldn't get the door opened for me.

Luckily I was able to direct him to the kitchen door and coax him into turning
the knob.  Once I saw the doorknob turn, I pushed open the door and got in.

It was a little scary though, knowing he was alone in the house and I couldn't
get to him!!!

Deb

	Almost had this happen the other day...
	
	I decided to mow the lawn while Emily slept.  I strapped on the
	baby monitor, got the mower out, shut the garage door, and started
	to mow.  The dog started to bark, and I decided to bring her in.

	Went to the back door, locked.  No problem, walked to the front
	door, and ... LOCKED !! (I almost never lock the front door when
	I'm home).  Panic set in as I began to think which window to break
	into when all of a sudden I realized that you can't lock the garage
	door from the outside... phew!!

	took me more than a few minutes to recover, though...

    When Chelsea was 2 months old we took a trip to the mall in daddy's
    car, cuz mine was in the shop.  Had his car keys and my ring with the
    house keys.  This was during summer and it was in the high 90's.  On
    the way back from the mall I had the air running full blast to keep the
    car cool.
    
    Got home and parked the car in one of the spaces outside the condo.  
    Looked at daddy's car keys and said "can't forget to take them into
    the house" and tossed them in the diaper bag.  Took my ring, which has
    an elastic coil and wrapped it around my wrist (habit).  I always lock
    Chelsea's side of the car (another habit).  Got out of the car and
    locked my door and within a second went "Oh my God!"....locked my baby
    in the car!  Of course I tried not to panic...without success...and I
    ran to my neighbors, crying hysterically.  She called 911 for me and
    within 5 minutes a firetruck and ambulance pulled up.  
    
    Chelsea had just woken up when the fireman were working on the car with
    a slim jim.  It was taking them over five minutes and they said if it
    took another five they would break the window...all this time I'm aging
    by the second and feeling like the world's worst mother.  They finally
    got the door open and the paramedics checked Chelsea, who was actually
    quite calm thru the whole ordeal.
    
    The fireman walked me up to the house and while he was there I took
    Chelsea's clothes off and got her a cool bottle, more to relax me then
    her!
    
    I got out my check book and asked him how much I owed him...believe it
    or not, I had no idea that both the services of the firemen and the
    paramedics was on the state...the fireman said thanks to my taxes.
    
    When he had left I was rocking Chelsea and had slowed down the shaking
    of my body and racing of my heart....then all of a sudden I looked up
    at the key rack and saw a set of daddy's car keys...put two and two
    together equals....1)Mommy locked daddy's keys in the car... 2)Mommy
    had a set of house keys on her ring which were in her hand....house
    keys open door to house and retrieve set of daddy's car keys from rack
    and remove child from locked car...
    
    bottom line...no matter how hard you try not to panic, sometimes you
    just do and these things will happen from time to time and we are not
    the worst mommies or daddies just because they do.
    
    ...Lori (who now has a set of daddy's car keys on her ring!)

    Just have to jump into this one
    
    Dad and AJ have been "roughhousing" since he was barely able to toddle. 
    Current count stands like this:
    
    Dad's "jewels" have been injured more times than I can count, as has
    his back. total to date, 2 pairs of *destroyed* glasses, usually
    someone's knee does them in.
    
    Mom tries not to rough house, but twice I've ended up with injures like
    a pretty sore nose, not broken thankfully, and a pretty deep gash
    inside my bottom lip.  He had come down the slide at Burger King's
    playland, and I went to grab him to help him up.  He stood up and
    jammed my chin pretty hard.  His head was fine, well what happened to
    me is explained above.
    
    He did use dad's "privates" as a *handle* once when they were showering
    together, AJ thought he was slipping and grabbed the first available
    "handle!"  Fortunately he's old enough now to bathe without being held,
    and handle a slide by himslef!
    \
    lyn

    As I sit here writing this, I have _2_ fat lips from Jessica.  Seems
    she thought she would run across the room and throw her head in my lap
    like she usually does, but I didn't see her coming, so my face was in
    the way.  Ouch, that smarts! 

	I had Emily on my lap at a restaurant Sunday, as we were just
	finishing up with coffee.  I tried to get one more sip of
	coffee when Emily was turned the other way.  Suddenly, she
	turned and bumped my arm.  My coffee cup smacked my front tooth.

	After it stopped hurting, I realized a small chip had come off
	my tooth.

    Kid radar or something?????
    
    This saturday morning:
    
    Ninja Turtle kick full force from my five-year old!
    
    Right where it counts! I saw stars, he may never have a sibling!
    
    Why, oh why, does his foot/knee/elbow/any part of him always aim right
    for Dad's most vulnerable spot!
    
    Gives me shivers to recall the pain,
    
    JR
    
      

    re .41 ... when my younger sister was ~18 mos, she was sitting on my
    mother's lap, playing with an empty coffee cup.  She had it by the
    handle, swung it around and smacked mom right in the teeth.  Broke off
    her 2 front teeth .... now she has false ones
    
    Aren't kids fun??

    Being a single parent for so long (well, 4 years) and being around
    rodeo alot, most of my friends have been male.  My son loves it when I
    have a BB-Q or something.  But the one thing I have noticed is that
    most of the guys that know my son well will either turn their fronts
    away from him as he walks by or will cover themselves with what ever is
    availible.  I have seen these big strong men with pillows, their hands,
    shoping bags even a bowl of chips in front of them just for protection.
    
    

    re. 44 hmmmm.... I wonder WHY? (smile)  Does your son have a tendency
    to hit guys in the jewells?  One would think so?  Maybe he should be
    taught not to?  How old is he anyway?  I'll bet he gets QUITE a
    reaction when he hits there! They say any attention is better than no
    attention.
    
    Jeff

    He is 4.5.  He has gotten better.  He used to 'headbutt' as a greeting
    and I have no idea where he got that from.  Maybe watching too many
    stock animals or something.  But ya know the guys will make a game of
    it with him and dodge him like he was a bull.  I think they should tell
    him not to do it.
    
    Now, he has hurt himself there a few times getting out of the tub and
    fooling around on the edge.  He will slip and do the splits over the
    edge. (I bet the men are cringing and grabing right now)  He just looks
    at me and starts to cry.
    
     Virginia

    I got it not once but TWICE yesterday.
    
    First at daycare, AJ was playing with a car of some kind on the floor
    while I was collecting his papers and things, first time it was a hard
    crash into the side of my foot, and at the speeds he pushes it hurt!
    then as if he hadn't had enough he did it again, this time it was so
    hard it crashed into my foot and just rolled right over it.  OK OK I'm
    just complaining.
    
    Then a little later we were sitting in the McD's place AJ was having
    his usual cheeseburger, but he refuses to eat the pickle.  He's usually
    pretty good about putting it down on the paper, but last night I was
    sitting beside him and he decides it's too hot to handle and sort of
    shakes  the pickle off his hand and it lands on my hand.  That pickel
    was HOT!  I've still got a small pink circle where it landed.  Of
    course my reaction was hilarious to him.  (gee thanks kid!)
    
    

    I was in a store with 5 year old Matt.  He wanted a toy. I said no.  He
    then proceeded to hit me in anger.  The hits didn't hurt much but the
    intent was clear...he was mad.  Others in the store start watching of
    course. I told him to stop several times... the hits continued. Finally
    I grabbed his hands and held them so he couldn't hit anymore.  
    But the stares from others in the store conveyed the message that they
    wondered what I had done to make this kid hit me.  It was an uneasy
    feeling.  He was wrong, but I felt in trouble with the other parents.
    
    Matt and I had a 'litte talk' about hitting later in private.
    
    Me: I don't hit YOU, why did you hit ME!
    
    Matt: "I was mad"
    
    Me: "What if I hit you everytime I was mad at you?"
    
    Matt: "I don't know"
    
    A non physical punishment followed for Matt.
    
    I don't know where the hitting came from... he rarely does that.
    
    Jeff

    
    When Spencer (22mos) is very tired and we are "pushing the limit" he
    will occassionally hit, bite, or just generally get very frustrated.
    
    	What we've been working on with him is to say:
    
    	"When I get mad I pound my pillow"
    
    	then we get a pillow and pound it with him.
    
    	To give credit where credit is due, this scenerio comes from a song
    tape, can't remember the name but it's one of the Baby Songs series. It
    certainly re-enforces the act, when he see other kids doing and talking
    about it.
    
    	I don't know if this is making a difference, it's still to soon to
    know if he gets it, but it stops the immediate display of anger.
    
    			Wendy

re: .48

Jeff, if it makes you feel better, if I saw that in a store I might have 
stopped to watch, but that would not mean that you would be "in trouble" with 
me; an incident like that grabs your attention.  Hey, even a shouting match 
or temper tantrum, no hitting involved, can grab attention.

One problem that kids have is that they don't always have a good way of 
expressing their emotions.  Anger is an emotion that is often most easily 
expressed physically.  A kid, for example, may throw something. In a store 
there aren't too many "acceptable" ways of expressing anger physically; you 
probably don't have your pillow or a punching bag, or (my kids' favorite) a 
door to slam.

Clay

    Take heart, Jeff. 
    
    We had some friends with a 5-year-old son who bordered on the
    hyperactive. His mother was a very permissive/submissive woman, and the
    son often expressed his anger by striking her.
    
    The response in their household (from both parents) was, "Don't hit
    Mommy. Please stop hitting Mommy." Apparently it worked well enough as
    far as everybody in that household was concerned.
    
    Then one evening in a crowded grocery store, with the son sitting in
    the cart and the father studying the list and then the shelves, the kid
    said in a loud clear voice, "Don't hit Mommy. Please stop hitting
    Mommy."
    
    <g>
    
    John H-C

    Thanks for the kind words.  It is very embarassing to have ones'
    'perfect' kid acting up in public.  Actually we do encourage him to hit
    appropriate things if he is mad... pillows etc.  I guess in the storehe
    figured I was the appropriate thing.  I set him straight. Fortunately
    that doesn't happen often at all.  Once feels like too many.
    
    Jeff

    about hitting the pillow thing...
    
    I found it very amusing while picking up AJ at his dayare home last
    winter.  the kids had been cooped up during a real bad weather period
    and the sitter obviously had cabin fever as well.  I heard her warn
    mostly her own son, but all the boys, "you had better knock it off or
    I'm going to have to go and get my pillow"  at the time I thought the
    phrase to be strange, but in retrospect, it was kind of interesting to
    listen to the approach.
    
    Lyn

    When I was changing Daniel's diaper at the weekend, he put my nose
    bleeding with a kick.   
    
    
    Bernie
    

Oh, yes, Elise got me good a couple weeks ago.  She didn't
want her shoes on, so kicked her feet.  Connected with my
nose and bloodied it.

It was such a good day. I went back up to change my clothes,
then loaded the kids into the car.  It was pouring rain and
as I backed out of the garage, found I had a flat tire.
I just loaded them into my husband's car and left mine there.
(Came home at lunch to change the tire).

Then, when I got home that night, I found an arrest warrant on
the kitchen counter against my husband because I forgot to
license the dogs (I was in the newborn non-sleeping fog when
I thought I had done it.  Because of the rabies
epidemic in New Hampshire, they are being very strict about
licensing, which requires a rabies vaccination).

At least Elise was impressed by the blood.  I had been working
on her to be more careful with her feet when playing with her
little sister and my bloody nose was a very good lesson.

(BTW, for non-USA people, an arrest warrant is the paperwork
the police do when they are going to arrest someone.  In
this case, they were letting us know they are serious about
our dogs being licensed.  They didn't actually arrest him.
I was amused, since they are my dogs, but the town clerk licensed
them in his name, so they would arrest him, not me).

Pat

    Samantha has been throwing fits left and right - Terrible two's? 
    Anyway - last night I had her on my lap facing me and she got
    mad and whacked me in the face - I told her not to hit mommy
    'cause it hurts...She then went nuts, pulling my hair - grabbing
    my face so I held her arms to her side and told her I would let
    go when she calmed down.
    She then leaned forward and bit the first place she came too...
    
    Youch!  That smarts...