| Title: | Parenting |
| Notice: | Previous PARENTING version at MOIRA::PARENTING_V3 |
| Moderator: | GEMEVN::FAIMAN Y |
| Created: | Thu Apr 09 1992 |
| Last Modified: | Fri Jun 06 1997 |
| Last Successful Update: | Fri Jun 06 1997 |
| Number of topics: | 1292 |
| Total number of notes: | 34837 |
we will be moving soon and can't take our pet with us! It is a cute
rabbit we've had for almost a year. (so, yes, we have gotten attached
to it..just one of the family.. ;-)
Anyway, my 10 year old daughter was prepared for this months ago. I
told her we would not be able to take the rabbit with us cuz the
landlord does not allow pets. (besides that, its a smaller place than
we have now. Someone is coming to take the rabbit soon. Needless to
say my daughter is quite a sad person. I have said positive things:
ie: just think, the rabbit is going to have a nice yard to play in
and there will be 2 girls there that are going to take very good care
of him, etc.. etc.... all positive stuff. Still she broods. When I see
her this way, it makes me sad also because I can't think of anything to
make her happy!
I've been a single parent now for about 8.5 years and I've never seen
my daughter truly truly sad about something. Any suggestions as to
what I might say and/do to try and make her understand that I'm not the
bad person here? anyone been thru something like this before?
I know its not a catastrophic situation but like I said, I have never
seen her this upset...she crys at the mere mention of the day that
they will come take our pet away!
Any suggestions appreciated!
| T.R | Title | User | Personal Name | Date | Lines |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 448.1 | Let her be sad | GAVEL::SATOW | Thu Feb 11 1993 17:16 | 17 | |
> I have said positive things: > ie: just think, the rabbit is going to have a nice yard to play in > and there will be 2 girls there that are going to take very good care > of him, etc.. etc.... all positive stuff. Still she broods. When I see > her this way, it makes me sad also because I can't think of anything to > make her happy! My suggestion would be not to feel like you can, or even should, make her happy. Let her be sad. Let her grieve. Be sad with her, if you are. As parents, we'd often like to shield our children from all the hurts that are involved in life. But we can't, so the next best thing is to help them deal with those hurts in a non-destructive way. This is very little different than if the rabbit died. Clay | |||||
| 448.2 | Another pet? | SALEM::PACH | Fri Feb 12 1993 09:37 | 17 | |
The same thing happened when my daughter was 10. We had to leave her cat behind. She grieved, but was promised another pet at our new home. We were lucky enough to be able to get her a dog. In your case, where the landlord doesn't allow pets, how about fish or a hamster/gerbil? You could check with the new landlord and get his input before mentioning this to your daughter so she doesn't get disappointed if it isn't possible. We now have a dog and fish, but they are my daughter's and she's the one who takes care of them. The fish tank is a great hobby and learning experience. Good luck, Diane | |||||
| 448.3 | SUPER::WTHOMAS | Fri Feb 12 1993 09:41 | 12 | ||
I'm all for letting her feel sad, it is a sad thing and to act
any other way, would not be true to her feelings.
When I had to let go of a pet that I had gotten particulary close
to, a friend of mine gave me a picture of the dog (I didn't have any
real nice pictures). Having the picture and knowing that the dog was in
a good family, made it easier for me to bear.
Oh yeah, time also helped eased the sorrow.
Wendy
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| 448.4 | The new girls | CSTEAM::WRIGHT | Fri Feb 12 1993 12:31 | 10 | |
Telling your daughter that the rabbit will have 2 nice girls who
will take good care of it probably makes your daughter feel worse.
She might subconsciously be jealous that other girls will get to take
care of *her* rabbit.
Would the new girls who are going to be taking care of the rabbit
agree to be your daughter's "pen pal" for a while, sending your
daughter letters telling how the rabbit is settling in and perhaps
some pictures? Having that to look forward to might help.
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