Conference moira::parenting

    My son Alexander (!) finally could sit still and listen to a SHORT
    story around his 2nd birthday.  I, like you, started to read to him 
    much earlier, but he just wasn't into it.  He loved the pictures, tho!
    
    Now he's 2.5 and can listen much longer....most of the time I get to
    read the _whole_ page before he turns it!  His language skills have
    really improved these last 3 months or so, as well.  I wonder if the
    listening/speaking skills are on the same development curve?  Hmmm.
    
    Keep reading and one day she'll surprise you and actually listen!!
    
    Best Wishes,
    
    Linette
    

    
    Kathy,
    
    I can't remember when we started reading to Michael, (if you want to
    call it that) but he is 16 mos now (already!) and LOVES to sit and read
    books. But they have to be SHORT stories, like 1-2 sentences per page,
    like the board books or he'll lose his patience and reach for another
    one.  The Dr.Suess books are good, he loves the "Foot Book"..  With 
    the books being so short, we have MANY and go through a whole stack
    before he gets bored (or we do) at one sitting. 
    
    There are a few other books we have that are a bit longer, and I try to
    get in more than 1-2 sentences per page, but if he gets impatient, I
    just read the first couple of sentences and move on.
    
    Not sure myself when their attention span will widen...
    
    Chris
    

Try alphabet type books with pictures and an identifying word to go with it.
Or number books where it is mmore like an activity than reading.

Both my kids loved stories at an early age, but we started with very simple 
stuff.  It was also a time when they got our undivided attention.  Also
try just before bed when, hopefully, they are slowing down a bit.

    
    Danielle was 2 when she finally stood still while we read to her.
    We found that those battery operated books where you push the picture
    and it makes sound affects, are excellent, she sits there and listens
    for ages. She really loves to push the pictures herself and turn the
    pages when it's time. I highly recommend them. Except for the fact that
    they are expensive for the big books and popular titles they run $16.00.
    But the batteries are replaceable. The also have smaller books for 6.00
    that I've seen, I bought "the three litle pigs" for 6.00, we really
    enjoy reading these to her, we have as much fun with them as she does!
    
    Sandy
    
    

    My two boys where as different as night and day when it came to reading
    at an early age.  
    
    When I had my first son (Jordan) I couldn't wait to read to him. 
    However, he had other ideas.  The harder I tried to read to him the
    louder he would scream ... and I mean scream!  He was well over two
    before I could sit and read a short story.  Now at six years old, he
    would sit and let you read to him all day.
    
    My second son (Cameron) loves to be read to.  I can't remember how
    early we started reading to him but I know it was pretty consistent
    before a year old.  He just loves it.  He turned two in September and
    already knows his alphabet, upper and lower case, by sight!  
    
    Our living room looks like a childrens library.  A day does not go by
    that my kids are not read to.  It has even got to the point where
    Jordan will show Cameron books.  He doesn't read yet, but he has a good
    memory for books that are read over and over and over ..... :-)
    
    I think it is great and really try to make an effort to take them to
    the library and give them a wide variety of books.  If I could just
    keep Jordan away from those snake books! (yuck)
    
    Joyce
    
    

    I've been reading to Katina since she was born and at 2.5, people
    are always commenting on how much she talks (chip off the old block!)
    Now that she is talking so much, her attention span is getting longer.
    Definitely keep trying!  They do like the undivided attention and it's
    good "wind down" time.
    
    I second the The Foot Book; it's one of Katina's favorites along with
    P.D. Eastman's Snow and another in that series, It's Not Easy Being a
    Bunny.
    
    Other favorites:
    
    Brown Bear, Brown Bear What Do You See?
    Wheels on the Bus pop-up book (currently torn to shreads, but much
      loved)
    Mother Goose (short and sweet and rhyming; I change the words for
      he terrible ones)
    If You Give a Mouse a Cookie (and If You Give a Moose a Muffin)
    Good Night Moon
    Runaway Bunny
    Elmo's Shake a Leg
    Grover's Resting Places
    
    photo albums of pictures of herself and her cousins (I recite stories
      behind the pictures)
    
    "touch and listen" books (sounds are along the right side
      of the book)     
    peek a board books (the ones with holes on the pages to see something
      on the next page)

    
    Anna is almost 21 months and has loved to be read to for a long time.
    She still will sometimes get impatient if there are too many words on a
    page, but for the most part she loves to be read to. Sometimes she'll
    take the book from me and "read" them herself. Certain books have been
    read so many times she has them memorized. She's been able to "read"
    Hop On Pop since she was 18 months old. When she does this I laugh
    so hard and my heart feels like bursting. I am an avid reader myself
    and I'm glad she's taking after me.
    
    Now I have a question: At what age do they understand the concept of
    the books with tapes. You know where the tape reads the book and when
    the tone sounds you turn the page. My nephew loved these but I don't
    remember at what age. 
    
    Patty

    My daughter wouldn't/couldn't follow stories until she was about 2. 
    But she loved reading the board books with a picture and its name on
    each page.  From a very young age (about the time she could sit up),
    she liked one book with pictures of toys and another one with animals.
    
    She also liked to leaf through the "Hanna" catalogs of baby clothes.
     
    At about 16 months she liked the book of nursery rhymes.  At 26 months
    she is finally getting away from this as a steady diet.  Kids love
    poetry and songs.
    
    Now she likes many different books.  Her latest love is Bemelmans'
    Madeline (and I love it too).  Before starting at a daycare center I
    got her the Berenstain Bears book on starting school.  It was a big
    factor in making a very smooth transition.
    
    2 years old is a good age to introduce simple children's books on your
    religion, btw.
    
    She takes her bedtime books into bed and falls asleep holding them. 
    
    L

    Like the rest of you I started reading to Alexander at an early age
    (short stories) and at 2 he could finally sit and listen to the story
    without flipping the pages before I was finished reading them.  Know at
    3 he can sit and listen to you read for hours.  His favorite book right
    know is "Twas the night before Christmas".  Even though it is past
    Christmas he still likes me to read him this book. he has a book about
    the Easter Bunny so I am going to try and get him interested in this
    one next.
    
    
    Liz

    
    I second the idea of reading as a pre-bedtime activity
    
    We started erading toSophie at 6 months, and at first it was more an
    exercise in keeping the pages intact and out of her mouth, but fairly
    soon it was "special time".  She loves to be read to now, and has even
    started reading" to her new brother - who at six months is trying to
    eat everything ...again.
    
    Persevere... it's worth it.
    
    
    Another book that's good is "Quick as a Cricket"
    
    Jamd

    My daughter is also 18 months.  I agree with the other replies to
    "read" books with words and large bright pictures.  I say the words 
    and Karen points to the appropriate picture.  I have tried reading 
    stories but if a page has too many words, she turns the page for me.  
    I sometimes make up short stories to go with the pictures. 
    
    She also likes books with animals and knows all of the sounds they
    make.  She really loves photo albums and even the Sears catalog.  
    

    
    Since we're on the subject of books, I just have to mention this
    bookstore I found in Fitchburg with GREAT kids books CHEAP!!
    Its called "Books for a Dollar & Things" (I think). Its located at
    the Shopping area next to the big K-mart on South St. (its at the
    string of stores across from the grocery store there, Next to the 
    Dollar Store).  
    
    I found it while out Christmass shopping, and it has a GREAT selection
    of Childrens books for all ages. The most Board Books I've ever seen
    too!  All priced between $1 and maybe $5...  As I said, the selection
    is GREAT!
    
    Chris
    

    Shannon would trade the best toy for a book anyday!  We have out grown
    some of the early favorites, but here is a small sample of what she
    enjoyed/enjoys:
    
    "Pat the Bunny", "Hop on Pop", "Hands, Hands, Fingers Thumb", "The Foot
    Book", "Milk and Cookies" and "Good Night Moon".  The Dr. Suess books 
    for Beginning Beginners can hold their attention because of
    the rhyming.
    
    

    There is also a store similar on rt in Shrewsbury accross from Spag's.
    
    It's called Buck a Book. I found several popular titles for my 2 yr old
    there. There are great deals for adults too, books that normally cost
    15.00 to 20.00 are even a buck.
    
    Sandy

 Jamie is 13 now, but reading together, including our weekly trips to the
 library, will always be one my cherished memories of him growing up. 

 What felt right for me was that he control the situation.  He choose the
 books at the library.  (Of course, I'd always add a book or two to the pile
 of that week's books, just to expand his horizons.)  He pretty much ran the
 show at home, though, regarding when and where we'd read.  He'd decide what
 to read, for how long, and when to stop.  I'd adapt to his pace.  I tried 
 my best to make reading a fun-time, social experience, and never have it 
 turn into a parent-child struggle. 

    - Jim  

    
    Michael is so funny when we sit down to read a book. (16 mos). I'll
    tell him to go get Mommy a book, and I'll sit down cross-legged on 
    the floor. He'll go over, get a book or 2 and bring them back, but the
    funny part is, he'll hand me the book, then stand in front of me, turn
    around and "back" into me and plop himself down on my lap. 
    Its so cute to see. My mom likes to stack all the books (20+) and then 
    tell him to go get her say "the foot book", and lo and behold, he will
    come back with the right one!  He has a rocking horse, but for the 
    longest time, wouldn't ride it. But when we turned to a page in his
    book with rocking horses on it, he starts rocking in my lap!
    
    Books are great for "quality time" I think. As someone else said,
    bedtime too.
    
    Chris
    
    

    Melissa just turned 12 weeks old today, but I began reading her "The
    Foot Book" when I recieved it in the mail a couple weeks ago.  She
    really enjoys laying on the floor while I read/talk/sing to her.  My
    husband is under the impression that I enjoy it a little more than she
    does.
    
    He's probably right, but she never objects to our special time!!! 
    
    Gosh, I LOVE being a Mom!!!
    
    Andrea

This should probably be in the brag note, but whattheheck, it's Friday.

We started reading to Patrick very early, at about 6 months, as the last thing
before bed. He was diagnosed with his hearing loss at age 9 months, so we
switched to signing him stories at around 12 months. By 16 months he was 
following along and signing the story together. Now, he's almost two. He picks
out the book, and signs the story to me.

Two of his favorites are the Little Duck, and Martha's House (my wife's name).

Chris

re .0

    My daughter wouldn't sit still for me to actually READ a story until after
age two.  I thought she was typical - but listening to the parents here I guess
she was pretty impatient compared to most.

    What I did instead was flip through the pages at her rate and point out
different characters and things in the pictures.  She was much more interested
when I pointed to pictures and said "Oooh - look at that little bunny, see his 
big ears?", than if I were to read the actual words "Once upon a time there was
a bunny named Peter Cottontail".  As her patience grew, I would paraphrase the 
stories.  And now (at almost 3) she is willing to listen to most stories provided
there aren't to many words per page.

    I think the most important thing is to find your own way to "read" to them
that they will enjoy rather than fight.  I didn't push reading, and now she
absolutely loves to "read" books to her stuffed animals, the dog - anybody who
will listen.

    We started 'reading' to my daughter when she was 4-6 months old. First,
    the 'books' were photo albums (she still loves them!), those books with
    1 picture per page (familiar object with or without a word usually in
    bright colors). Then we gradually added books with more words.
    Sometimes we'd read the books to her, other times we'd just point out
    things, and later we'd ask her to point out things. Whatever seemed
    like it matched her attention span for that day! Books are the best toys 
    for us to keep in the car (seems like we never take a car trip without 
    8-10 books in tow...she even liked to flip the pictures herself when she 
    was under 1 yr. old). Now, she's starting to 'read' the books to me on 
    occasion. As has been mentioned, she's also a "back-up and sit in your
    lap" kid whenever you ask her if she'd like to read a book. Right now,
    at just over 2 yrs. old, her favorite books are quite long (Beauty and
    the Beast, Lady and the Tramp, Winnie the Pooh; all Walt Disney
    versions of the movies; about 60 pgs. long...and she never tires of
    them before we do!). But, she still likes some of the old standbys: 
    'Hop Pop' and 'Wocky Pocky' (Hop on Pop and There's a Wocket in my Pocket 
    by Dr. Suess). I agree the sing-songy rhymes get them every time. My
    biggest problem these days is keeping her from occasionally ripping the
    pages if she gets to a books with paper pages when I'm not around. She
    things it's neat that mommy can 'fick-y' (fix) things with tape. She
    never fails to point it out. She also knew her alphabet before she was
    two; not sure if this was because of reading or if it's just 'her
    thing'. So, she's taken after mom and dad (so far) as being avid
     

    About the book and tape things.  Katina got five of them (Disney) for
    Christmas (and I've tried getting them out of the library for her)
    and IS NOT AT ALL interested.
    
    I'm convinced she doesn't want to give up the just-Mommy-and-me
    (or just-Daddy-and-me) time.  When she gets bored of us (oh, boo hoo)
    and before she can actually read (not recall) I suspect she'll enjoy
    them.  Up on a back shelf they go.

Hi Tara... Hope things are well with you and yours...

We have a 9 yr old daughter, 2.5 yr old boy, and 13 month old boy.

I began reading to our daughter when I was nursing her. Her verbal skills
seemed to develop pretty quickly and was quite the chatter box by 14 months.
(I think this was also because she was an "only" for a long time). She always
loved to have stories read to her and we always kept a "supply" in her bed.
Now at 9, you can barely find the girl in the bed for all the books she has
in there with her. She's a voracious reader (loves Nancy Drew and Cam Jansen
mysteries).

We found with the 2.5 year old, we could read short stories to him around 16
months, but we had to make it an activity (he liked to feed us pretend fruit
of the pages of his counting book). He also loved silly books like "Is there
an Elephant in the Kitchen?" (He's got quite a funny bone). Also, his verbal
skills didn't kick in until 20-21 months or so. We were worried he wasn't 
hearing very well, but finally he just started blurting out sentences. We 
thought maybe the attention span was related to his ability to have a 2 way
conversation...

But then there's the baby. He will reach up and attach himself to your clothing
while gripping a book in the other hand - he almost panics. God forbid you sit
down... he's in the toy chest pulling out a book and trying to climb up into
your lap in  no time. Right now all he can "say" is animal sounds (moo, baa,
ruff, etc),  hot, and uh-oh. So much for the verbal skills connection. He loves
to be  read to and manages to sit through some of the Thomas the Train 
books (which we hate, but the boys LOVE). Another favorite is "The Machine
Book" which is a collection of fantasy machines that are described in 
tongue twister rhyming poems. They are a bear for the German au pair to read,
but at least everyone is developing their language skills!

We also read to our kids early but not necessarily with the big effect that is
mentioned here.  I don't think anyone should feel guilty if the "early reading"
doesn't have quite the desired effect.  It may have to do with the language 
change because the books I read as babies to them were English and they learned
to read in French. I also think it has to do with a psychopathic teacher my
son had who beat all love of learning out of him at an early age.  He read well
beyond his age level until then.

What I have found and what my younger son's 6th grade teacher confirmed is that
you can't force them to read, you can only encourage.  Also, for you parents of 
little kids, remember that their amount of reading might change depending on the
level of other activities that they have to deal with.  Markus' teacher said
that, in general (and remember, this is a REAL generality), boys tend to like 
"factual" books or encyclopedic books where you have lots of information that is
not necessarily connected from page to page.  Girls tend to read more stories.
This may be a very culture dependent thing, I don't know.  In any case, I have 
one boy encyclopedia reader and one boy novel reader.

The other thing is there is no accounting for taste :-)  I lived one block from 
our public library and I could read to my heart's content.  We don't have such
things here.  My son's teacher recommended giving my son a small amount of 
money (enough to buy two books) and sending him into a library here specialised
in children's literature.  They would help him choose the books HE likes and 
then you know what to buy in the future.

Another thing she said is that comics and such are fine "literature" :-) as
long as the children are reading.  We even have an AIDS education book here
marketed towards teenages which is designed as a comic (It is called "Jo") and
has been very successful.  The proceeds from its sale (in all local stores,
supermarkets and bookstores) goes to support AIDS research.  Comics are an
excellent medium for getting the message to young people.

My children now have a lot of real (what I would consider) literature to read
for their schoolwork.  During the schoolyear, I don't expect them to do a lot
of additional reading to this unless they want to (which, by the way, they 
actually sometimes do!).  After all, there is music, sports, play, television,
computers, and all this other stuff that makes life fun!

I just finished putting 15 meters of paperback book shelf storage in the basement
and it is already full before I put all the paperbacks on.  Books are great!

Cheryl

    I have a book question. Daniel is five and just beginning to read.
    He's still at the stage of sounding out one word at a time, slowly.
    Someone gave him "Hop on Pop" by Dr. Seuss for Christmas. He unwrapped
    the package and read 15 pages of it out loud to us. He was thrilled to
    be reading -- he giggled after every page. It was so exciting!
                 
    I'm looking for some other books for him besides Seuss and P.D. Eastman
    ("Go Dog Go", etc), which we have. His interests are pirates, knights,
    and adventure; he loves the Tintin books. Are there any books for
    beginning readers that have a little bit of "beef" to them?
    
    Lucy  
     

    There is a series of paperback books out for beginning readers.  Maybe
    someone else can supply the publisher and series name.  These books are
    classified by reading level and are about subjects of interest to kids.
    
    If you poke around in a bookstore with a good kids' selection, I'm sure
    you will turn up many possibilities.  A knowledgeable clerk can be very
    helpful.
    
    L

    Laura,
    
    Are you thinking of what we call the "step books"? They are graded
    step 1, 2, and so on. We have a number of these and they are very
    good. Daniel has step 1 skills and step 4 or 5 interests! However,
    I should take a look at the step 1's again, I guess.
    
    Lucy  

    
    
    Kelly  (our 16 month old)  started really getting into books 
    at about 11 or 12 months. She liked "But Not the Hippopotamus" and
    "Puppies Round and Square" and "Moo-Baa-LA LA LA" best. She quickly
    (1 month) moved into "The Foot book" ,"The Nose Book", and "Go Dog Go".
    Her alltime favorite so far has been "Dragon in a Wagon". 
    She knows them well enough by sight that she can bring a book to us
    that we request ("Why don't we read the Go Dog Go?", and she searchs
    through the pile and brings it). Of course this means that we sometimes
    have to read the same book 10 times in a row, day after day, because
    she can find it even if we bury it in the pile. 
    We always let her turn the pages (though we have to separate them
    sometimes). She seems to like books were there are some recognizable
    characters, objects, animals, etc. 
    
    doug
    

    
    re last: "likes recognisable objects,books"
    
    I can relate to that. Last night Michael was staying over his
    grandparents house for the evening, and we were hanging around in the
    living room. I didn't bother to bring Mike any books/toys because they
    have a playroom full of them (she used to do daycare). He was getting
    a bit bored, so I went and got some books from the shelf (Dr. Suess),
    and he climbed up on my lap to read together. Well, we didn't get thru 
    2-3 pages when he wanted nothing to do with these books, I tried them
    all.  The problem was - He didn't KNOW them, or recognise them!  
    I know thats got to be it, because even at home when we get a "new" book, 
    its takes us reading/looking at it quite a few times before he'll 
    "accept" it. Its funny. 
    
    Chris
    

    Just as an FYI, Several of the Dr. Seuss books are now on video, as the
    video progesses it is very easy to follow along with the book.
    
    AJ was given a tape with three Seuss books on it, Green Eggs & Ham (his
    all time favorite book) and two others I can't think of.  BJ's
    wholesale club sells individual tapes, but packed in multi-title tape
    packs. (they also sell the books in multipacks at a great discount)  My
    sitter has been able to borrow several Seuss tapes from the Library,
    Worcester and most of the towns in Worcester County are on the same
    borrowing system, so if you need a particular title you need only
    request it.
    
    Many of the Disney classics are on video, and could easily be followed
    if you've go the book. I'm thinking of 101 Dalmations which AJ brough
    to the sitter's today, and even wore his "dalmation" sweatshirt!
    
    Toys R Us has really added to its book section, including a dedicated
    sales person to assist the customers.  I was impressed on my last
    visit.
    
    Lyn 

    
    I don't know if this is the correct topic for this,  but this is cross
    posted in books.
    ===============================
    
    
    I was hoping for some advice about books to help my daughters speech.
    She is in kindergarten and presently goes to speech therapy to help her
    learn how to construct sentences and say them properly.  When she talks
    to us, she seems to have a problem with connecting the words in her
    mind to be able to say the sentence properly, so most of the time her
    sentences are punctuated with UH, UH, UH, like she knows what she wants
    to say, but can not think of the words.   

    So,  I'm looking for some books that are age appropriate that:
       - shows a word and how it is used in a sentence, past present and
    future.
       - dictionary/picture book with definitions of the words and maybe
    examples of how they are used in a sentence.
       - any other type of book that may be helpful for my daughter to
    be able to put words into her mouth for what she is thinking.

    Any help, resources would be great.   It is so frustrating for her and
    for me when she is trying to express herself.   If I try to guess and
    put words in her mouth (which I don't think is a good idea) it leads
    to nothing but frustration on her part and she will get upset. 

    

    I may be speaking out of turn, but I had another thought about helping
    her learn to express herself, if the key is that she lacks the
    *words*...
    
    two, actually....
    
    Do your READ a lot to her? You may try increasing your reading time..
    not just the typical lots-of-pictures-and-few-words type.  Try
    Winnie the Pooh, BoxCar Chidren, etc.  The point is to expose her to
    how *others* say things.
    
    You might try to have conversations around feelings and the day's
    happenings.  "what happened today?  What was the funniest thing that
    happened today? How did it make you feel.  Oh... you felt happy AND sad
    at the same time.... What does happy feel like.. etc"  
    
    Again, if words are the issue - and apologies if I've missed the boat - 
    What I've noticed is that my little ones FEEL everything I do.... they
    just haven't learned how to express themselves yet.
    
    Jamd

    
    We had a similar experience with Jason, my youngest, although we never
    ended up in speech therapy.  His physician seemed to think it was a
    perfectly normal part of child development, especially in kids who have
    a lot to say.  Quite literally, their brain gets racing ahead of the
    mouth, and the "ums" are trying to back the brain up, to catch up with
    the mouth.  I am pleased to say that he grew right out of it, and while
    he's still pretty gabby, he has a good handle on what he wants to say.
    
    Some things that helped .... DON'T try to finish the sentence for them. 
    About the only "help" for my son that the pedi suggested was to try to
    get him to slow down.  Just saying "slow down, Jason", usually worked
    wonders.  Also, he'd get his thoughts all bumbled up, and I sometimes
    wouldn't have a CLUE what he was talking about, or his
    pronounciation(sp) was too far off for me to understand.  When that
    happened, I'd question him more, which taught him to express himself
    differently.  ie;
    
    J: Mommy, where's the fdsajkl;
    Me: The what?
    J: the fdsajkl;
    Me: What did you say?
    J: THE FDSAJKL:!!
    Me: Jason, I don't understand what you're saying.  What do you do with
    it? (or what color is it, or something like that)
    J: (after he thought for a min) The thing that you use when you want to
    mix the eggs all together.
    Me: OH!  The fdsajkl;!
    
    He has a much better grasp on expressing himself in MANY different
    ways, than his brother does.  His brother, BTW, always spoke quite well
    and quite clearly for his age ... in hindsight now, I think that
    Jason's "problems" caused him to have a much firmer grasp on the
    language.
    
    As for the books, I've seen a few at the TOYS-R-US book section in
    Nashua, that will emphasize a few words in the book, the back has a
    small "dictionary" of the words in question, and whenever they're used
    in the book, they're bolded.
    
    Personally, I think you just need to try to slow her down, and explain
    to her that sometimes *YOU* get so excited it's hard to say what you
    mean too!  Try to minimize that frustration, and once the world isn't
    so INCREDIBLY, overwhelmingly amazing to her, you'll probably see an
    improvement.
    
    Good Luck!
    Patty