Conference moira::parenting

    
    	When I miscarred three years ago, I was told the 30-40% of
    pregnancies miscarry before 9 weeks.  It seemed high to me, but after
    you miscarry, you find out that there are lots of women that have 
    miscarried.
    
    Sorry to hear of your loss

My reply in womannotes and pointer to this file :-)
    
    
            <<< IKE22::NOTE$:[NOTES$LIBRARY]WOMANNOTES-V4.NOTE;1 >>>
                        -< Topics of Interest to Women >-
================================================================================
Note 676.1                  Statistics on miscarriage                     1 of 1
MARVIN::MARSH "The dolphins have the answer"         18 lines  18-JAN-1992 07:58
                          -< try the parenting file >-
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    Current stats in the UK are about one third of all pregnancies
    miscarry. This usually happens before the woman knows she is pregnant
    and she just gets a very heavy period. Once she is more than 4 weeks
    into the pregnancy, a miscarriage is much more painful and there is
    more bleeding than one so early on, so medical care is required. 
    
    You are not alone, miscarriage is very common and people should be more
    open about it. Try and find a support group to help you both share and
    grieve over your loss. I lost Rebecca's twin at 7 weeks and was given
    lots of helpful information about why it happened and who to ring for
    support even though my pregnancy continued OK.
    
    Try MOIRA::PARENTING for more information.
    
                Celia
                                            
    

    I've read that 20% of pregnant women have a miscarriage before
    3 months
    Carol

    I miscarried with my first pregnancy at 9 weeks.  It was very sad and
    traumatic but I also heard that it is relatively common.  My midwife
    explained that there was never really a "baby".  The whole
    implantation process didn't work correctly and it just took my body
    awhile to figure out that it wasn't really pregnant.  She said this is
    the usual scenario for miscarriages up to 12 weeks.
    
    I went on to have 3 wonderful children - just wait until you're both
    ready emotionally before trying again.  I had to wait one full "cycle"
    prior to trying again however, emotionally we waited about 4 months.
    
    Linda

    I have had 2 very early miscarraiges.  My Dr. told me that 
    between 30%-40% of pregnancies end in miscarraiges.  Like an
    earlier noter said most of them are so early that woman
    don't even know they are pregnant, they just think its a 
    late and heavy period.  So because of this alot of miscarraiges
    don't even get reported so the statistics could even be higher.
    
    I was also told that when you miscarry it's because something 
    was wrong righ from the very begining, at conception/fertilizaition
    or implantation.  Some womens bodys just take longer to reject the
    pregnancy than others.
    
    with sympathy,
    
    Deb

    I have six friends who have miscarried...three miscarried her second
    pregnancy early on (before 12 wks), one her first pregnancy, and another 
    miscarried three times within 2 years, but has since had two successful 
    full term pregnancies.  Another friend miscarried 5 times - was told she 
    probably could never carry to term.  She, too, has finally carried to 
    term and has a son.
    
    In all cases, no explanation was given - in all cases later births have
    happened.
    
    -sandy
    
    (I started this note with "three friends who miscarried", then as I
    thought more about it, I realized more have miscarried.  I guess it's
    more common than I thought, too.)
    

	
	I was told by my ob (at the time) that 1 in 7 pregnancies
	end in miscarriage (this was May 1991).

	I miscarried at 8 weeks (fetus size measured only 6 weeks), 
	got pregnant 3 months later, and had a successful, full-term
	pregnancy.

  Sorry to hear of your loss.

  Almost four months ago I lost my son, he was born prematurely.  Since, I read
  a great book (from the library) on miscarriage and other pregnancy problems 
  I *think* the title was "Miscarriage And Other Pregnancy Crisis." (If anyone
  is interested, send me a note and I'll find the exact name.)  The OB who
  wrote the book explained the miscarriage process and suggested many reasons
  as to why it happens.  He also offered very helpful information on the
  prevention of miscarriage and premature births.  He went into great detail
  of what can go wrong during pregnancy and what signs of trouble to look for. 
  His attitude was very positive that many miscarriages and premature births
  can be prevented if a woman knows what to look for and if medical attention
  is given soon enough.  (I'll be forever sorry I didn't know 4 months ago
  what I know now.  If so, my own loss may have been prevented.)  I'd
  recommend the book to any to-be-moms as a prevention measure.  As the OB
  pointed out, the more you know (he termed this as "pregnancy-literate"),
  the better your chances of a successful pregnancy.

  My own OB didn't discuss with me any of the "trouble signs" to look for, It
  would be interesting to hear if other OB's are the same.  (I'm looking 
  for a new OB, btw)

  Do the majority of OB's tell their patients how to detect possible pending
  miscarriages or premature births?  In theory, I would think that this could
  potentially prevent many of the miscarriages that do happen.  
           
  Jean

	Jean, 
	  I think you are right that many OBs don't tell you what to look
	for as an impending miscarriage.  Maybe they get so many calls as
	it is from women concerned about the normal changes their bodies
	are going through that they don't want to increase them.  My
	partner Cindy had a really bad nose/throat infection in her
	first trimester which was not looked at.  One of her coworkers it
	turns out had strep-B, is that what she had?  Who knows.  Also,
	she experienced tightening of her abdomen during the week before
	she started to miscarry.  The RNP told her it was just stretching
	but pregnant women she has described it to since have said it 
	sounds like she was having early contractions, which are not 
	uncommon, but it does make you wonder.  We have vowed if she is
	ever pregnant again to be the biggest P.I.T.A.s that the doctors
	office has ever seen in terms of getting answers for anything
	that seems unusual.
		Linda

    RE: last few
    
    My experience has been that many busy OBs see so many pregnancies
    it's hard to be compassionate but some manage!
    
    I know I was in a miserable state after my first miscarriage and
    my OB then showed absolutely no interest in consoling me or helping
    plan for the future or even understand what had happened.  Like as
    mentioned here, I did alot of reading on my own and relied on friends
    and family for support.  There's also the HOPE groups at local
    hospitals (didn't do much for me though).
    
    I switched to the OBs who had cared for me in the Emergency Room.  They
    didn't even know me and were so kind and caring to my husband and me.
    
    They were wonderful with my next pregnancy; I called at least twice for
    all 41 weeks, and they were great at the visits.  They care about the
    "product" too!  Always ask how my daughter is growing up on check up
    visits.  They've also been wonderful with subsequent problems. Of
    course, you can wait up to 4 hours in their waiting room, but that's
    the price you pay for compassion!  

    When I went into preterm labor at 23.5 weeks I was put on a home
    monitor.  I monitored, at a minimum, twice a day. I managed to carry
    until week 36 when I developed toxemia.  I delivered a healthy, big
    boy.
    
    Studies have shone that the greatest benefit with home monitoring is
    not the monitor itself, but the daily contact with preterm nurses and 
    the added awareness of your body during pregnancy. 
    
    I think all pregnant moms should read the warning signs of preterm 
    birth and keep the list handy for reference.  What saved me was the 
    fact that when I began to experince preterm labor, I was laying in bed
    reading a book called "New Hope for Problem Pregnancies."  To me it was
    just interesting reading, I was not considered a high-risk patient. I 
    just like to read and be informed. That book probably saved my childs
    life.  It gave me enough knowledge to know something was wrong. 
    
    Go to note 20.* and read through it, there is a reply that lists the
    warning signs of preterm labor.  Print it out and keep it with you.
    Better yet, I'll extract it and post it here later.
    
    Jodi-  

    
    The following was taken with permission from a booklet called:

          * WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT PRETERM LABOR *
                 by Tokos Medical Corporation.
    
    WHO IS AT RISK for PRETERM BIRTH?...
    These conditions may be associated with an increased 
    likelihood of preterm labor.
      1. Previous preterm labor or delivery
      2. Preterm labor in current pregnancy
      3. Abnormally shaped uterus: DES daughter, uterine surgery
      4. Two or more second trimester abortions or miscarriages
      5. Incompetent cervix, cone biopsy, large fibroid
      6. Current pregnancy with twins, triplets, etc.
      7. Severe kidney and urinary tract infections
      8. Cervical dialation or effacement before 36 weeks
      9. Excessive uterine activity before 36 weeks
     10. Bleeding: placenta previa: too much amniotic fluid
     11. Ages less than 18 or greater than 35: unusual phyical 
         or mental stress.
    
    SIGNS and SYMPTOMS of PRETERM LABOR...
    
      1. Uterine Contractions: the tightening of the muscle within the
         uterus.  Using your fingertips to feel the uterus, you should
         be able to indent your uterus when it is relaxed.  During a
         contraction you can feel the uterus tighten and become hard.
         Contractions occur normally throughout pregnancy.  They are
         usually painless and can occur at any time.  Certain activities,
         such as changing your position or having a full bladder, may
         cause you to have a contraction.  The type of contraction you
         will have with preterm labor will also be painless, but there
         is often a pattern to the tightenings.  The uterus will feel
         hard over the entire surface and this tightening may occur
         every 15 minutes or closer.  Each contraction may last from
         20 seconds up to 1.5 to 2 minutes.
    
         **********************************
         *				  *
         *            REMEMBER:           *
         * Preterm labor contractions are *
         * often painless occuring every  *
         *   15 minutes or more often.    *
	 *				  *
         **********************************
      

    The following signs may also occur normally in your pregnancy,
    but if you feel these signs, you should check for contractions.
    
      2. MENSTRUAL-LIKE CRAMPS...these are felt low in the abdomen,
         just above the pubic bone.  The cramping may be rhythmic,
         feeling like waves or fluttering.  You may also feel constant
         cramping.

      3. LOWER, DULL BACKACHE...this backache is located mainly in the
         lower back and may radiate to the sides or the front. It may
         be rhythmic or constant, and often not relieved by change of
         position.
      
      4. PELVIC PRESSURE...you may feel pressure or a fullness in the
         pelvic area, in your back or your thighs.
      
      5. INTESTINAL CRAMPS...these may occur in the presence or absence
         of diarrhea.
      
      6. INCREASE or CHANGE in VAGINAL DISCHARGE...the amount may be
         more than that which is normal for you.  The consistency may
         change to mucousy or watery.  The color may become pink or
         brown-tinged.
      
      7. A GENERAL FEELING THAT SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT...even without
         a specific cause.
    
    WHAT IS NORMAL?...
      
      1. Contractions occuring 3 or less per hour
      2. Backache as your baby grows and causes your posture to change
      3. Pressure as your gowing baby presses on your pubic bone and
         your legs
      4. Pulling and stretching of muscles that may cause localized
         pain
    
    ----------------------------------
    |            REMEMBER:           |
    |  It is important to know what  |
    |  is normal for you.  Then you  |
    | will know how to identify what |
    |       is not normal.           |
    ----------------------------------

    

	Where can I find information pertaining to studies
	on:  miscarriages and other health hazards believed 
	to be caused by video monitors and related hardware?

	My husband and I are planning on purchasing some
	equipment for home use, and wish to obtain the "least
	dangerous" products available - especially since we
    	hope to have children in the very near future..

	Thanks,

	Dora

    Please also see the following notes which relate to safety:
    
       358    BRAT::FULTZ        14-OCT-1992    26  Electric Blankets
       391  TUXEDO::JPARENT      18-NOV-1992    53  Avoiding/Accepting Risks
    
    Laura
    co-mod
    

    For information about VDT emissions in Digital's products, you can 
    contact the Digital Services Safety & Liability (DSS&L) group in Stow.  
    The hotline number is DTN 276-9242 or (508) 496-9242.
    
    - Sheryl

I was very glad to find this note on miscarriages and the other pointers to
the other related topics.

I went through the loss of the fetus last week.  I was 10 weeks along (the
Dr said I was 14 weeks according to the dates I gave him).  He told me that
that fetus was only 8 weeks and it had no heart beat, and I would need a
DNC right away.

You always ask your self a million times "why".  You start to look for
any reason that can explain this.  But there are no answers, there is no 
reason - it is just something that happens and I guess it happens for a good
reason or it wouldn't happen at all.

But still, it's hard to have a train of thought 1 way for almost 3 months,
and then poof - you have to think another way - and all your thoughts, dreams
and ideas are gone.

To top it all off, I had the Dr. from "Idontcare ville" :explain

I went in for my 1st Ultra sound on Wednesday.  I was kinda excited and
nervous on what to expect.  I took a friend just incase I saw something I
wanted to experience it w/someone (hubby was a work).  I had a funny feeling
that *nothing* was there and I was prodding the technician (who would not say
a word to me)

I was asked to go to see my Dr.  (I thought nothing of this) he just wants
to talk to me and explain the films.  Well, I sat there for 1-1/2hrs while I
watched all this patients come and go.  I finally asked "did you forget about
me" I was told no, I will be seen when the Dr. is finished - he still had 3
patients to go (@20min a person) I was not going to wait anymore.  So I left.

At 7:30 that night I got a call from the Dr.  He told me that 14wk fetus was only
the size of a 8wk fetus and I to come in for a DNC.  I told him he has always
been wrong about the due date - I was only 10 or 11wks.  He said, it didn't
matter, the fetus had no heart beat.

I went in the next day at 8:45 like I was supposed to, and he let me sit
and wait for 45min. I'm sorry, but I don't think I should of been made to wait.
I should of been a priority - there were no other emergencies and I had an
appointment.

Anyway - Hubby and I went in to argue the date and to ask alot of questions.
The Dr. convinced me that even at 5wks you can see a heart beat on the
Ultra sound - so off I went for the DNC.

I get to the daycare area where everyone was nice to me, and introducing them
self's and explaining what is going to happen to me - when 1-1/2hr go by and no
doctor!  Then they herd the Dr. is coming so off I go to the "holding room".
I was there alone for another 1hr - so I started to flip out and I wanted my
hubby ( they got him and I was better)

Then the Dr. came (but I never saw him, he never came to tell me things will
be okay NOTHING) I go into the operating room - and I came out 15min later.
and off I go to the daycare/recovery area.  

I felt fine, the IV bottle was done and I wanted to go home.  The nurses told
me I had to wait for the Dr. to discharge me and to write me a script.  They
paged him a few times 

3Hrs later - I got up and walked out!!!  I tried to find out what my Dr was
doing, and I was told he decided to stop in and help out on a C-section.  This
person he was assisting on was not even his patient - this was not an emergency
c-section - it was a planned one - but my Dr just had to stop in and help.

He could not even check on me for 5min.  I left w/no script and I have 
gotten no phone call - nothing!  

Gee, I have a real good feeling about my decision for the DNC.  This quack
probably just wanted to practice for all I know.

sorry this is so long, 

Louisa

    Louisa,
    
    You brought back so many memories for me.  I too had a fetus
    with no hearbeat.  Heartbreaking as it was, it seemed to become
    even worse when I found out I had to have the DNC.  It was like
    adding insult to injury.  I don't know why it upset me so.  I
    really wanted to just let it abort itself, but my doctor said it
    might take a while and I would most likely still need a DNC because
    (now I've forgotten all the terminology) "something" can still be
    left behind.  The sack maybe, I don't know - I forget.
    
    I had spotted ever so slightly that morning, but then past a clot.
    My doctor had me go in for the ultrasound.  The technician found
    a "nub" and told me it was the fetus.  Mind you, I was 9 1/2 weeks
    along and since then have seen what it should have looked like. But
    at the time, I didn't know squat and had reassured myself that at
    least I hadn't lost my baby "yet".   
    
    When I got upstairs I found that the fetus had never developed.
    The nub was something called the fetal pole which is what the fetus
    will develop on/from.  
    
    However, my doctor called right away over to the hospital and I
    was in OR within - I guess about four hours from the time I left
    my doctors office.  My heart broke when I read what you went through.
    I spent about 3 hours alone at the hospital (crying my eyes out)
    waiting for David to get there, but I had a scheduled surgery for
    5:00 from the moment my doctor got the word on the ultrasound.
    When I envision what they did to you, I ache and get the urge to
    *kill*.  I don't mean that literally, but that was horrible.
    
    						cj *->
    
    

    Louisa,
    
    I am so sorry for your experience with an uncaring health
    "professional" 
    
    I would strongly suggest when you feel up to it that you complain to
    your insurance providers about this doctor and his manners.  
    
    meg

And get a new doctor.

    Hugs and sympathy,

      Carol

    ** This is kind of long. **
    
    I had started my period as usual.  Nothing out of the ordinary except
    as the time went on the worse I bled and I was passing a lot of clots. 
    I was sitting in my office (Dec. 15 '94) when I got this terrible pain
    that shot from my vagina to my rectum.
    
    I called my doctor and they wanted to see me right away.  
    
    In I went. They told me that they were going to do a pregnancy test.  I 
    asked why. They just wanted to be sure before they proceeded with anything 
    else. So they drew blood and would call me within the hour.  
    
    I got the call and sure enough I was pregnant but it was "threatened"...
    I may or may not lose my baby. There was nothing I could or couldn't do to 
    prevent this. 
    
    They wanted me to go and have my blood typed. I had to go to the
    hospital for this. If I turned out to be RH Negative, which I am, I needed 
    to get a shot called Rogam. It is IMPORTANT that you get this shot because
    if you don't you could actually cause harm to your baby.
    
    By Friday I was getting worse so I called my doctor (she is off on
    Friday's) so the doctor filling in sent me to the ER at Leominster
    Hospital......4 hours I sat waiting to be seen.  I couldn't get in
    touch with my husband so I was there by myself. He finally was able to
    get up there and be with me. When I finally got in the doctor had NO
    bed side manner.  I was squeezing my husband's hand so tight I was
    hurting him because he was causing me so much pain. After the doctor left 
    the nurse was wonderful. She gave me something to drink and time to get my
    composure. She talked with me and asked if I had any questions. I was
    set up to meet with Dr. Wilson at the Leominster Medical Building the next
    morning.
    
    I had my appointment had he was very nice.  He examined me and asked if
    my husband was there and he called him in and spoke to both of us.  Told
    me that I was having a miscarriage and what he thought and decided to
    let the miscarriage happen natuarally. This meant that I would have to
    go in for blood work every other day. My arms were sore and black &
    blue but every time my count (pregnancy hormone level) kept going up a
    few points. This made no sense because it should be going down. 
    
    Finally on January 25 I had an appointment with my doctor...it had been 
    40 +/- days and I still had the miscarriage. I wan an emotional and
    physical wreck. He did an ultrasound to make sure and there was nothing 
    there. They scheduled me for a D&C the following day.
    
    I had blood work that night and the next day I went to Same Day
    Surgery.  Everything went fine except when he went to do the D&C (I
    opted by a Spinal) he wasn't getting what he was suppose to so when I
    came out of surgery they did up more blood work to make sure that it was
    not an ectopic pregnancy. The blood work came back and it seems that I
    had just had the miscarriage during the night.
    
    I thought I would be all set now but I was having some difficulty with
    my back and I had a lot of tightness and pressure in my abdomen so off to 
    the Dr.'s I went.  Well, I ended up getting an infection from trying to 
    have the miscarriage naturally and I pulled the muscles in my back from 
    having my legs in the stirrups.  So he put me on 2 strong antibiotics and 
    a muscle relaxer for my back...(10 days on medicine).
    
    What else could go wrong....from the strong antibiotics I was on I got a 
    yeast infection which was so bad I had to go on medicine for another 7
    days to clear that up.  
    
    It took me 3 months to get back on track.  
        

Whew, I am so sorry about the situation you went through.  I have had two
miscarriages and no full term pregnancies.  Its very heartbreaking when
you want a child.  

The first was early in the pregnancy. I didn't know I was pregnant, but I
sure knew something was wrong when my period started.  It was a Friday 
afternoon.  On Saturday the cramps, etcetera had gotten so bad my husband 
called our HMO & the Dr on call prescribed some heavy duty painkillers which
did help a lot, and had me come into the office on Monday. A blood test showed
that I had been pregnant and an ultrasound showed that the miscarriage had 
happened completely over the weekend. There was no need for a D&C.

The second one was much worse as I knew for about 6 weeks that I was pregnant.
I was very happy and excited about it. When I went in for the first ultrasound, 
the technician said very little, and then told me my doctor would talk to me.
They sent me into an office to wait. I waited maybe 20 minutes for the Dr. to
come in. The Dr. was very compassionate as he told me. He asked if I wanted 
to call my husband right then.  I wanted to break the news at home, and not
over the phone while he was at work. They wanted me to wait to regain composure 
before letting me drive home. I wanted out A.S.A.P. so I could cry and grieve 
in privacy. They let me make the choice as to whether or not I wanted to let 
the miscarriage happen naturally or have them to intervene with a D&C. They 
said I could let it go for a week or two at the most. I decided to wait, hoping
there had been some mistake in date calculations or something. The miscarriage
started about 5 days later, very slow for a couple of days and then all **** 
broke loose. Once again on a weekend. I finally went in to the emergency room.
They contacted the Dr. on call from my obstretician's office who came in. I 
hadn't met her before, but she too was very compassionate. I had a D&S which 
is a bit different from the D&C, and went home a few hours after I'd come in.
My husband had brought me in and was with me through the whole thing.  It did 
take a couple of months for things to get back to completely normal for me.

In our case, all the medical staff, Drs. & nurses, were very caring. The one
thing that still bothers me is nobody can tell you why the miscarriage happened
to you, why the baby didn't develop like it should have, and so on, and they
don't start looking into it until after your third miscarriage.

We'd had some trouble getting pregnant & it seemed like such a miracle when 
it happened.  The physical pain of miscarriage is awful, but the heartbreak 
lasts much longer.  I too was amazed at the 30% of all pregnancies statistic.
The wife of the Dr. who first told me what was going on had 4 miscarriages 
before having a child. They have three children now.  I keep hoping for the 
miracle to happen again & last this time.

Leslie

    Between my 2 children I had a miscarriage at 9 1/2 weeks.  Like you, I
    was amazed at how it effected me emotionally.  I had a tremendous guilt
    feeling like I had done something wrong to cause this and felt very
    embarrassed!
    
    What amazed me even more was how I reacted when I became pregnant again
    about 6 months later.  I had thought I was completely over the
    miscarriage, but when I found out I was pregnant, my first reaction was
    to not tell anyone.  I talked it over with my ob/gyn who was the same
    person that handled the miscarriage.  She constantly supported me.  She
    emphasized that my pregnancy was my business and none of anyone else's. 
    If I didn't want to tell, that was okay.  If someone got offended, that
    was their problem, not mine.  She was great!
    
    After talking to another friend who had been through a similar
    experience, I found that the feelings I was having were normal.  It was
    a great relieve to find this out.  I thought I was loosing my marbles.
    
    Irene

    I had a miscarriage 12 years ago this month.  I still think about that
    baby.  I was about 3.5 months pregnant at the time, and my marriage was
    not in good shape anyway.  It took three weeks of bleeding and
    dizziness and huge blood clots and horrid contractions to get through
    it.  My employer tried to be understanding, but almost fired me for
    being out so long (my job was essential and couldn't really be done by
    a temp, and he had no knowledge or understanding of the laws regarding
    temporary disability, etc., and neither did I at that time...).  My
    husband was working in retail, and worked opening to closing most days,
    by choice (or so he claimed).  
    
    It was awful, and lonely, and frightening.  I had a very
    close friend who lived in the same apartment complex, and she worked
    weekends and nights mostly, so spent lots of time with me.  She drove
    me to the doctor and the emergency room several times.  I'd never have
    survived without her.
    
    As it turned out, my husband was actually out with our next-door
    neighbor every night, and his "relationship" with her, combined with
    his lack of support and understanding about the miscarriage, ended our
    marriage a few months later.
    
    Miscarriage is a rotten experience, and the farther along you are, the
    worse it feels.  Take heart, however.  Five years later, I gave birth
    to a bouncing 8 lb. 10.5 oz. baby boy, without even trying to become
    pregnant or any risk of miscarriage when I did.  And seven years after
    that, (last Sept.) I gave birth again, also without trying and without
    much risk (even though I was 36 and considered "high risk" at the
    time), this time to a 8 lb. 2 oz. baby boy.  A miscarriage isn't always
    the end.  My mom also had one between my brother and I, and I know a
    lady who had *10* miscarriages and three healthy children.
    
    M.

    Does anyone know what are the warning signs of a miscarraige? the
    reason I am asking is because I am 8 weeks pregnant and i am so scared
    of having a miscarraige or that it the baby is not alive in there that
    that is all i can think about and it is driving me crazy! did anyone
    else have any of these feelings,  when they were first pregnant? it is
    really bothering me! one of the main reasons i am nervous is because i
    do not even feel pregnant no morning sickness or anything! thanks in
    advance to any response!
    

    warning signs I was told to look for:
    
     - Passing bright red blood or clots
     - Severe [as in doubled over] abdominal pain
     - Fluid leakage
     - Excessive vomiting
     - Dizziness, vertigo, and fainting
    
    I had fluid leakage at 16 weeks and bright red bleeding at 35 weeks. My
    son is doing fine.
    
    The midwife gave me a little booklet with all this sort of information
    and lots of helpful hints. [and then another later in my pregnancy]. It
    got very thumb-worn. Perhaps you could ask if your practice has such a
    thing.
    
      Annie

    I am 33 wks pregnant now, and never had morning sickness in the
    beginning.  I did have SLIGHT nausea between wk 8-10, but I 
    really didn't feel pregnant until I started to show.
    
    I had the same kind of pregnancy last time (my son turned 3 yesterday).
    
    I think everyone just has different symptoms... some have non
    early on.
    
    Will your OB do an early ultrasound?  Mine routinely does an 
    ultrasound before 9 wks (to get an accurate due date), and 
    another between 20 and 24 wks.  I know for me that seeing that
    little heart beating on the screen at 8.5 wks was VERY 
    reassuring.  I, like you, had a hard time believing that 
    everything could be OK in there since I didn't feel any different.
    
    Congratulations on your pregnancy.  Best wishes, and try not
    to worry too much.  They'll be plenty of that AFTER the baby
    is born. ;-)
    
    Julie
    
    
    

    .24
    
    I don't know many people that don't feel like you do and "wonder" about
    a miscarriage.  I've had three pregnancies, only slight nausea with all
    three, nothing some saltines or a large glass of milk wouldn't fix, and
    I ALWAYS worried till week 12.  ... and I guess I worried after that
    to, but not about a miscarriage.  I used to laugh with my "had been
    pregnant" friends, now all of you, about how for my entire pregnancy,
    every time I went the bathroom, I looked at the toliet paper for
    possible bleeding.  I cursed the homes that had pink toliet papaer!!!
    Pregnancy oftens comes with more than normal spells of paranoia, and I
    have found it comes after pregancy too from just being a parent.  With
    my third pregnancy, I actually worried that one of the statistics I
    read abount was that the average is that one out of three pregnacies
    ended in miscarriage, so that meant to paranoid me that I had more of a
    chance to lose my third pregnancy.  Weird huh?
    
    My suggestion is to ask your doctor when the earliest you can get a
    ultrasound and mention you fears.
    
    Beth
    

    After being there once... I can say to you - try not to worry.
    Worrying is not going to change or prevent a thing.  In fact,
    you're only going to hurt yourself.  
    
    I had no warning signs of my miscarriage at 9 1/2 weeks.  A mild
    cramp, a spot, a clot and that's it.   Now I'm sure it's more
    dramatic further along, but you can't worry it away.
    
    I spent the first five months of my next pregancy worried sick
    about losing it again.  I'd give anything to go back and do that
    again and not waste that time.  I would enjoy every second I had,
    and did that with the remaining time.
    
    						cj *->

    ..but if you are that worried and really stressed wondering if you
    are pregnant, talk to your ob and ask him/her to do the ultrasound.  If
    he/she doesn't want to do it, my argument for it would be that it's
    better off for the pregnancy that you aren't that stressed.
    
    Kathy

    I had a miscarraige about 3 or so years before I got pregnant with
    Aaron and worried through out the pregnancy though I worried a little
    less after I had an ultrasound at 14 weeks.  I breathed much easier
    after the 36th week!
    
    Good luck, I wish you all the best and hope that you can find a way to
    relax your mind when the worry starts taking over.
    
    sandy

I have a great source of information for anyone who is interested in reading:

"A Woman Doctors Guide to Miscarriage" by Lynn Friedman MD 
ISBN: 0-7868-8145-3, $9.95 US, published by Hyperion.

I went for an ultrasound 10 days ago and there was no heatbeat.  I had
a D&C the day after.  Its been very very sad for me and my husband.
This book was recommended to me by my ob-gyn doctors office and 
it helped me.  

I also would like to say that the All Female Associates in Concord Mass
are the best group of caring doctors that I have ever dealt with.  It is very sad
to read about uncaring health professionals in this note.
I am very happy with them and the way I have been treated.  I was called
yesterday by the office to see how I was doing.  They actually were more 
concerned with my mental health than physical health. 

If anyone would like more info about the book or about All Female 
Associates feel free to contact me.

Regards, Judy

Judy Patton Kaplan
[email protected]
DTN 244-7691

    Judy,
    
    I am so sorry for your loss.
    
    A caring doctor's office is very important.  I miscarried my 2nd
    pregnancy and my doctor and his staff were wonderful.  After the
    ultrasound office called to say what they had found (no hearbeat) and that
    I was on my way over, they never made we wait in the waiting room, my 
    husband and I were ushered right into the doctor's office. When the doctor 
    came in he walked over and hugged me.  We opted for the D&C a few days
    later, but I received a call from him the first day and the day after
    the D&C just to see how we were doing.
    
    On a very positive note, I got pregnant again 2 mos after the
    miscarriage and my daughter is now a very healthy, happy and
    mischievous 21 mos old.
    
    I hope you will have new hopes and dreams fulfilled soon.
    
    /Susan

The following is being posted for a member of the PARENTING notesfile
community who prefers to remain anonymous at this time.   If you wish
to contact the author by mail, please send your message to me and I will
forward it to the anonymous noter.    Your message will be forwarded with
your name attached  unless you request otherwise.

This is an update from the noter in 422.38.

Carol Stolicny, PARENTING co-mod
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi everyone, I just wanted to say 'thank-you' to all who responded to my
last note.  I was lucky in that I didn't have to have a D&C and everything
resolved itself 2 days after Christmas (about 10 days after the spotting
first appeared).  I was kind of glad that it took that long because it gave
my emotions time to settle and I had come to terms with the miscarriage
before it actually happened.  When it did, I was surprised at the amount of
pain, but also relieved that my body was working the way it was supposed
to, and I was beginning to look ahead, hard though it was, to when we could
'try again'.

I'm happy to say that it worked just 6 weeks later and I'm now 11.5 weeks
along!  We saw the heartbeat at 6.5 weeks and I heard it at my last
appointment (at 10.5 weeks); it was about 150 beats/minute.  I am thrilled
and nervous all at the same time.  My symptoms are definitely different this
time and they didn't disappear like before (I never thought I'd be happy to be
nauseous).

So the Dr. seems to think that all systems are go, and I'm trying hard not
to compare.  I know that some symptoms are supposed to disappear around the
12th week and I'm trying hard to remember that....I also have recently
gotten a few headaches and I remember getting them around this week the
last time.  I'm trying not to think it's for the same reason, and my gut
tells me that everything is fine and I need to relax.  It's very difficult.

I haven't even told my mother I'm pregnant again (she was disappointed more
for herself rather than for me when I lost the first one, but that's
another note!!) - nor have we told most of my husband's family...but maybe
this weekend we'll let it slip.

I guess I won't feel better until the baby's actually here (and a new set
of worries will begin).....but I'm trying to relax and trying not to be
neurotic... and just reading that everyone else has been as nervous as me helps
a LOT.

Thanks again everyone.....

    
    	Congratulations!
    
    	For what it's worth, I get frequent headaches as a symptom
    	of pregnancy.  They started near the end of the first
    	trimester.
    
    	Karen