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Conference moira::parenting

Title:Parenting
Notice:Previous PARENTING version at MOIRA::PARENTING_V3
Moderator:GEMEVN::FAIMANY
Created:Thu Apr 09 1992
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1292
Total number of notes:34837

378.0. "Self-esteem vs. Narcissism" by WFOV12::MOKRAY () Tue Nov 03 1992 11:10

    My three year old, Daniela, is almost addicted to watching the tapes of
    herself.  She can easily spend several hours looking at the same tape
    of her birthday party, over and over again.  When it runs out, if she
    can't turn it on again, she comes and says, "There's no more Daniela on
    the tv.  I want to see me!"
    
    Is anyone else experiencing this?  Is it a sign of healthy ego
    development and self-esteem?  If we as adults were to do this, it'd be
    called narcissism; I don't think that applies, but I sure would like
    reassurance.  
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
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378.1ACESMK::GOLIKERITue Nov 03 1992 12:158
    Avanti (3.3 years old) also likes to see tapes of herself. She watches
    other tapes as well but sometimes she will asks for tapes of "baby
    Avanti". She just enjoys seeing a baby on the tape and it fascinates
    her to see that the baby is herself.
    
    I think it may just be amusement and amazement.
    
    Shaila
378.2Ours too....SPICE::LUPIENTue Nov 03 1992 13:0314
    My son will be 2 in December and LOVES to watch tapes of himself.  This
    started about 1 month ago.  He especially loves scenes of he and
    Grandpa riding the ride-on lawnmower and mophead.  (Grandpa has gone
    south for the winter and this is Nick's only chance to "see" grandpa)
    He watches the tape over and over, (we're bored but he's not...!)
    
    So far, we haven't seen a need for concern.  Aren't kids supposed to
    like to look at themselves (Pictures, tapes, mirrors) ???
    
    We try to use it as a learning tool when we can, (who's that in the
    picture, where's Grandpa, where's the tree, etc. )
    
    Sandy
    
378.3Must be the ageGEMVAX::WARRENTue Nov 03 1992 13:157
    I think that three is a particularly narcissistic age.  At her dance
    class, Paige sometimes gets so mesmerized by her reflection in the
    full-wall mirror, that she forgets to pay attention to the class. Very
    embarrassing.
    
    -Tracy
    
378.4Another possible explanationPOWDML::64644::SatowGAVEL::SATOW, @MSOTue Nov 03 1992 13:237
I think that there may be another explanation, and it is that "seeing 
yourself" is a concept that is not easily grasped, and as a child discovers 
the concept, s/he is likely to be fascinated by it.  Children also can be 
fascinated by their image in a mirror and by their shadow.

Clay

378.5JARETH::BLACHEKTue Nov 03 1992 14:0316
    My daughter is nearly 2 1/2 and she also loves to watch her "Gina
    Tapes."  It's kind of nice for us too, since we get to relive her
    younger days.  
    
    The one thing that is annoying is that she wants to do whatever she is
    watching.  For example, she wants to color Easter eggs when she sees
    that part of the tape.  Or she wants a particular toy when she sees it
    on the tape.  
    
    She gets disappointed when I tell her that the toy is gone or that we
    can't color eggs.
    
    I think it will also help if/when we have another child. She can see
    her baby tapes to see what a baby is like.
    
    judy 
378.6reassuringi WFOV12::MOKRAYFri Nov 13 1992 11:2011
    Thanks for letting me know my child is no different.  Do watch out when
    it comes to a new baby.  We have a 5 month old.  When a tape sometimes
    has some scenes of him, she gets upset and wants the tape to
    immediately go back to Daniela.  
    
    I asked a psychiatrist friend of mind also about this.  He replied much
    like Clay -- that this is the age when they start getting a sense of
    self.  I also turned to Bruno Bettelheim who reassured me that
    birthdays (her favorite tape) are a very special time for children,
    when they hopefully feel like it is THEIR day, when they can control
    the adults.