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Conference moira::parenting

Title:Parenting
Notice:Previous PARENTING version at MOIRA::PARENTING_V3
Moderator:GEMEVN::FAIMANY
Created:Thu Apr 09 1992
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1292
Total number of notes:34837

368.0. "ATTENTION PROBLEMS" by WMOIS::SPENCER_DEB () Fri Oct 23 1992 13:37

    I need some advise.  My son has always been a very "easily distracted"
    child.  He is 10 years old and is in the 5th grade.  It is very
    frustrating for us (the parents), but also causes problems for him at
    school.  He has to be told to do something over and over.  Usually,
    when I ask him to do his chores/wash up/get ready to go/"come here a
    second"/whatever,  his reply is "Wait".  Then he'll either take a VERY
    long time get around to whatever it is, or completely forget.  I try
    not to accept his "wait", but repeat myself immediately, and/or have
    him look me in the eye so I know he's listening.  Anyways,  my husband
    and I find our patience worn this too often.
    
    We had "parent night" at school the other day.  His teacher is feeling
    the same frustrations.  Actually, every teacher he's had has had these
    frustrations.  He's very "drifty" in class, i.e., talks to his
    neighbors, is on the wrong page, is drawing (he LOVES to draw), or just
    generally is not "with" the class.  One teacher once referred to him as
    the "absent-minded professor".
    
    Richard (my son) has been evaluated by the school, as well as an
    outside child phsychiatrist.  Attention-deficit Disorder was ruled out,
    but no other conclusion has been made.  Sometimes, Rich is attentive,
    other times he just doesn't want to bother, although I'm not sure if
    this is intentional or not.
    
    I should mention that Richard is extremely bright ("near genius" was
    how his teacher put it).  He's also very artistic.  I suppose boredom
    may be part of the problem at school.  I don't think this is the entire
    issue, however, because the attention problem extends beyond the
    classroom.
    
    I do have an appointment with his teacher to discuss this further.  I
    guess I'm just looking for some help in dealing with this.  Perhaps
    there is some type of work I can do with Rich, to train him to be more
    attentive.  Any and all suggestions would be more than welcome.
    
    Thanx,
    Deb
    
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368.1A.D.D.?SENIOR::ZAGAMIFri Oct 23 1992 13:557
    Have you ever heard of or do you know anything about Attention 
    Deficit Disposition [ADD]?  There is probably a note [somewhere]
    about this.  It may be worth checking into.
    
    
    
    
368.2Give him outlets!VERGA::STEWARTCaryn....Perspective is Everything!Fri Oct 23 1992 14:2454
My 10-year-old is very similar to yours in the attention-area, although
I've noticed a bit of an improvement at school.  I also had Sean evaluated
by a psychologist and he said that Sean was not hyperactive (ADD), that we
was an exceptionally bright, normal boy.

When I tell him to do something he ALWAYS answers "I will!" which means,
theoretically anyway, "I'll do it in a minute/after this show/when I'm done
reading/etc".  Of course it never gets done.  I handle it by telling him he
must stop what he is doing and do it now.  I will often wait and try to
catch him in between activities so that he doesn't feel like I'm always
trying to ruin his fun.  

After reflecting on the subject on and off over the last years, I've
realized that part of my issue was a power struggle - I wanted him to obey
me, as well as for him keep up with his responsibilities.  When I let the
power struggle go, I find it easier to cope with.  Where his pets are
concerned, I told him I was going to stop reminding him, and if they died,
they died, as sad as that would be.  I didn't follow through very well with
that, and I still threaten to get rid of them sometimes, but he's gotten
much better about that too.  The more I leave him alone, the better he
gets about some things.

I'm sure that part of the whole thing for the child is a power struggle  -
"I'm going to show mom and dad that I don't have to listen to them!".  That
age is when they start to really separate from parents as they start
becoming adolescents and then *gasp* teenagers.

Perhaps being bored has to do with it too (makes sense if he's particularly
bright). I was always bored to death in school (did alot of the things you
described in your son), and would do anything to make the time go a bit
faster!  There exist some private schools for gifted children (ie.,
Bancroft School in Worcester) - or perhaps there are programs for gifted
children in the public school system (there used to be once upon a time).

I limit the amount of TV Sean can watch - 1 hour a day on school days, 2
hours on vacation and weekend days.  That includes video games and TV.

I also try to give Sean outlets for his creativity  and curiousity.  He
loves to read, so he gets several age-appropriate magazines (National
Geographic World, 321 Contact, among others), we have a couple of books for
the curious type ("The Way Things Work", Mr. Wizard books and other
science-experiment type books for kids, and a set of Wildlife encyclopedias
we found in a thrift shop) plus "toys" such as Capsela Science Discovery
kits, tons of Legos (he loves the kits for building boats and stuff like
that) etc.

I think you have the right idea - finding oulets for him, but you
also have to be "gentle" about it - don't try to force it on him or get too
pushy about it.  Provide the outlets, and the opportunities, and let him
come to it on his own.

Best of luck and please post anything you find that works!    
    
~Caryn
368.3Another onePOWDML::64644::SatowGAVEL::SATOW, @MSOFri Oct 23 1992 17:4232
     Our son is very similar, and it's equally frustrating to us.  The
possibility of attention deficit occurred to us.  One reason is that our
daughter has been positively identified as having ADD.
     First a comment about the ADD diagnoses.  I feel very nervous about the
diagnosis presented in .2; the way it is worded, it appears that it
hyperactive and ADD were presented as the same thing.  Hyperactive and ADD
are *not* the same thing.  Many ADD children are also hyperactive (so it's
often referred to as ADHD) but there are also a significant number who are
not.  My daughter is one, and so are all of the girls I know who have been
diagnosed with ADD.  For .0 and .2, are you confident that ADD diagnoses were
in the psychologist's area of expertise?  There are many who are not
well-versed, and whose chief exposure to it is the disruptive child.  Also, I 
don't intend to cast aspersions on your school, but it is not in their best 
interest to have a child who is formally classified as ADD.
     Our son is very much the same as the ones previously mentioned.  We had
him IQ tested, and he was well above average, though he did show a
significant difference in his performance IQ and his verbal IQ (I mentioned
that in note 42).  I don't know if that's related to the forgetfulness.  When
I review his homework, very, very, few of the errors are conceptual; they are
almost invariably careless.  In addition, he is highly impatient; he would
rather be the first one finshed with an assignment than get all the problems
right.  There have been several times that homework didn't get handed in
either because the completed work got forgotten or lost, or because the
assignment (or appropriate textbook) never made it home in the first place. 
So that we can keep track of his assignments, we gave him a notebook to write
his assignments in.  He continually either forgets to write the assignment,
or forgets the notebook entirely.
     Our teacher conference is this coming week.  I'll report here if
anything interesting comes out of that.

Clay

368.4FSDEV::MGILBERTGHWB-Anywhere But America Tour 92Mon Oct 26 1992 09:4515
You said that your child is 10 and in the fifth grade. You also said that every
teacher has experienced the same frustrations. I think a teacher conference may
not be much help other than to explain to the teacher what you've seen over the
years. IMHO, you should schedule 2 appointments. One with the school 
psychologist and one with the school Principal. Your child needs help with his
learning style now before he's exposed to the junior/senior high school 
structure. You need to get the psychologist and the Principal to review ALL his
records and talk to as many of the teachers he's had over the years as they can.
You need to get them to understand the consistent behavior and learning style
issues that you've seen for 5 years. A teacher only has deal with it for 1
year. Your child must deal with it for life. If he/she isn't helped with the
organizational skills now you will have much bigger problems as time goes on.


Mike
368.5NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Mon Oct 26 1992 10:567
re .3:

Wide differences in the scores of different sections of IQ tests are a sign
of learning disabilities.

BTW, there's an article on ADD adults in today's Boston Globe.  One of the
sidebars says that girls with attention deficit often aren't hyperactive.
368.6specialists who may helpTNPUBS::STEINHARTLauraMon Oct 26 1992 13:5122
    I've mentioned this before.  If anyone wants a referral to an
    independent learning specialist in Nashua, NH, please contact me.  This
    specialist has degrees and advanced training, can do diagnoses, and
    will provide referrals if necessary to neurologists with a
    specialization in learning disorders.
    
    If my child showed any learning problems, I wouldn't hesitate to have
    this specialist check her out.
    
    Another suggestion is to have your child's eyesight and hearing
    checked.  
    
    When I was a preschooler, I temporarily lost most of my hearing due to
    enlarged tonsils and adenoids.  I didn't seem to be paying attention
    but the real problem was that I couldn't hear.  "What?" because my
    favorite word.  I had lots of fun at my hearing test, survived my
    tonsil/addendoid surgery, enjoyed the ice cream afterward, and swiftly
    regained my hearing. Unfortunately, my parents now expected me to do
    some serious learning. ;-)
    
    L
    
368.7DEFINITELY UNORGANIZEDWMOIS::SPENCER_DEBTue Oct 27 1992 12:1919
    RE. .6
    That's a good point.  However, we've already had his sight & hearing
    checked.
    
    RE. .4
    I'm not sure I understand.  What would a principal do that the teacher
    would not?  Please elaborate, I'd like to look into that.  You're not
    the first person to comment on the need to address Rich's
    problems NOW to avoid more serious problems later.  You used the term
    "organizational" problems, which I think hits the nail right on the
    head.  In addition to being mentally unorganized, Rich is also VERY
    messy/physically unorganized (his room and school desk can attest to
    this).  It would make sense that this is all related.
    
    Again, thanks for all the replies (& keep them coming).
    
    Regards,
    Deb (base-noter)
    
368.8POWDML::64644::SatowGAVEL::SATOW, @MSOTue Oct 27 1992 13:2028
> RE. .4
>    I'm not sure I understand.  What would a principal do that the teacher
>would not?


     I'm not, .4, but I can say that there are many advantages of talking to 
the principal.  Actually, when we had conferences concerning our daughter,  
our first one was with the principal alone, and the subsequent ones included 
both the principal and the teacher.
     For one thing, the principal usually controls teacher assignments, and 
if s/he is aware of the problem, s/he can assign your child to a suitable 
teacher.  Some teachers are very organized themselves, and help their 
students to be organized.  Some teacher are themselves disorganized, and are 
disasters for students who are disorganized.  Some teachers are skilled at 
dealing with the kind of students that you describe, and others are 
unskilled, in fact even harmful.
     Another thing that including the principal does is that it lessens the
ability of the teacher to say "We can't do that," or "I'll have to clear that
with the principal."  In addition, the principal is more likely to be versed 
in what you can or cannot ask for as a parent, particularly if your child has 
a learning disability.  Teachers often think it's entirely up to them whether 
or not to make accomodations.  The principal knows that it isn't.  Also, if 
the prinicipal is going to balk at one of your requests, you'll know right 
then, not when the teacher tells you.

Clay

  
368.9Boston Globe articlePHAROS::PATTONTue Oct 27 1992 13:557
    There was an article in the Boston Globe yesterday about adults with
    attention problems, and how many kids who have this kind of problem
    don't necessarity outgrow it. Apparently it's easier for adults to find
    ways to live with attention problems than kids, because adults have
    more control over their work and living  environments
    
    Lucy.
368.10FSDEV::MGILBERTGHWB-Anywhere But America Tour 92Tue Oct 27 1992 15:2621
RE: Principals

	Who's the one person, in most cases, who has the best chance of seeing
your child every school day for more than a 180 days? The principal. 

	Who reviews children's records and assigns teachers? The principal.

	The point I'm trying to get across is that it is the Principal's JOB
to assess the child's progress with an eye towards creating an environment
the child can learn in.  Each year our kids get shuffled from teacher A to
teacher B and depending on IF teacher A writes anything in the child's records
and IF teacher B reads the child's records there MIGHT be some continuity to
the approach teacher B takes. Quite frankly, your child sounds like someone
I wouldn't want to take that roll of the dice with. You can, by getting the
principal involved, establish a pattern and force the school to help you deal
with it. Having the School Psychologist establish that your child is prone to
disorganization only backs up the need for some work. Teachers, because they
are really isolated in the classroom, are creatures of habit and are unlikely
to alter those habits for one child unless there's pressure to do so. You need
both these people to ensure that pressure is there.
368.11GAVEL::SATOWWed Jan 06 1993 12:1741
With permission of the author, I've copied this note from note 15 to this note.

We ask that replies to entries in note 15 be by mail, and I think that there 
may be some replies useful to the noter both in the previous replies to this 
topic, and in subsequent replies that may be generated.

Clay Satow (wearing both mod and noter hats)

----------

           <<< MOIRA::MOIRA$NOTES:[NOTES$LIBRARY]PARENTING.NOTE;1 >>>
                                 -< Parenting >-
================================================================================
Note 15.60  Where can I find? *Please reply by MAIL except catalogs*    60 of 60
LITRCY::KELTZ "You can't push a rope"                24 lines   6-JAN-1993 08:17
                     -< Support organization for FAS/FAE? >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Does anyone know of a parent support group dealing with Fetal Alcohol
    Syndrome/Fetal Alcohol Effects?  Or a doctor or clinic in Maryland
    specializing in the diagnosis/treatment of problems resulting from
    FAS/FAE?
    
    Some friends have a foster daughter who is strongly suspected (by
    physical symptoms and knowledge of the mother's history) to have FAE. 
    She's a very bright child but is having trouble in school because of
    her short attention span and inability to control acting out in class.
    
    These friends would like to have their daughter evaluated medically to
    give them a better idea of what to expect and, hopefully, how to deal
    with it more productively.  We believe their family doctor will be of
    limited value in this particular instance and am trying to help them
    find a doctor or clinic specializing in these problems.  
    
    By way of explanation, these people are not professional foster care
    providers.  They are relatives of the child, and took her in when her
    mother died, as the father had long ago abandoned the family.  So they
    have no specialized training and are getting absolutely NO support from
    the local social services.
    
    Any help would be greatly appreciated!
    Beth
368.12Investigate other possibilitiesPOWDML::PCLX31::SatowGAVEL::SATOW, @MSOWed Jan 06 1993 12:2417
re: .11

     Beth, I suggest you take a look at the previous replies to this note,
and also to the notesfile mentioned in note 9.5.
     I'm no doctor, or psychologist, but I do think that the child shows some
ADHD symptoms, so I suggest that you urge your friends to get that
possibility explored also.
     It is very common for ADHD parents to have ADHD children.  Since one of
the problems of ADHD people is difficulty in controlling impulses, it's not
uncommon for ADHD people to have problem with alcohol and other drugs. 
Hence, it's entirely possible that the child's biological mother had ADHD and
the child does also.

Clay
     


368.13RICKS::PATTONWed Jan 06 1993 12:2411
    I believe Michael Dorris' book about his son who had FAS (help! I've
    forgotten the title) contains an appendix with the names of
    organizations working on FAS/FAE issues. This list might help.
             
    It seems like a good question to ask your local reference librarian,
    probably by phone.
    
    Good luck,
    
    Lucy 
                                         
368.14NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Wed Jan 06 1993 13:086
Beth --

Since it's affecting her school work, the school system should be
doing an evaluation.  You might want to pose your question in
ASABET::LEARNING_DISABILITIES, where many of the participants
have dealt with school systems on such matters.
368.15Thank youLITRCY::KELTZYou can&#039;t push a ropeMon Jan 11 1993 08:4117
    Thanks, everyone, for the feedback and suggestions.  I will pass
    it all on to the parents, I'm sure they will appreciate all the
    help they can get.  
    
    I think the school system has been overlooked as a source of help in
    this case.  The family is devoutly religious, and the children attend a
    very strict parochial school which seems to be viewing this child as a
    rather extreme case of willful disobedience (cringe).  The parents have
    already made a VERY big step in questioning the school's/ church's
    diagnosis, so they may be ready to take advantage of resources
    available in the public school system.
    
    Thanks also for the suggestion on Michael Dorris' book.  I looked it
    up in the library, its title is "The Broken Cord".  I'll forward that
    along too.
    
    Beth
368.16How to teach concentration?TANNAY::BETTELSCheryl, DTN 821-4022, Management Systems ResearchWed Feb 10 1993 05:4456
We just received Markus' (age 12, 7th grade) second term report and it was
disappointing.  Not disasterous, just disappointing.  In my opinion, Mark
could probably operate at the B level but right now he is doing C or C- work.
On a scale of 7 in our system where 7 is high and 4 is passing, he got two
5's, two 4's, and two 3.5's.  The 5's were in subjects where he has an "unfair"
advantage (English and German) and should actually be able to perform much 
better.  One of the 3.5's was in French which is really bad.

The most disturbing thing is that every teacher but the English teacher complains
about his inability to concentrate and his disorganisation.  And they are
right.  We don't have ADD evaluation here but I will ask the school
psychologist to evaluate him to find his strengths and weaknesses.  It did
help with Dirk when we did this.  His math teacher has asked for a meeting 
during the next round of consultations and I will also see his German and 
History/Geography teacher.

Markus has taken a few steps himself the past few weeks to change his behavior
and I want to know how to encourage this.  What I am asking you for is some
ideas as to how we can improve his level of concentration and organisation.  I
want some things to suggest to the teachers so that we can work together on
this.  I recently discovered that his hearing may not be all it should so I
also plan on having this checked.

What I've suggested to Mark so far is the following:

	1) Try to raise your hand at least three times in every class when 
	   there is discussion.  Even if you only think you know the answer,
	   chances are you won't get called on but the teacher will see you
	   making an effort.  Anyway, you have to pay attention to raise your
	   hand and getting it wrong orally is never as bad as getting it
	   wrong on a test.  You will learn from your mistakes.

	2) When there is free seating in a class, try to sit near the front
	   and away from your friends.  This will remove the temptation to
 	   talk to friends and bring you nearer to the teacher so you will
	   be noticed more.  Recess times are for friends.

	3) Ask questions.  Whenever you don't understand, ask.

	4) I don't want any bad marks for behavior (they get one for 
	   performance and one for behaviour or effort).  Currently Markus 
	   rates on average about AB.  The marks are TB, B, AB, I, U.  He 
	   even has an I in sports (where they get no performance note)
	   and has no TBs.  I told him he should have no behavior/effort
	   notes below B.  (BTW, they stand for tr�s bien, bien, assez bien,
	   insufficient, and none of my kids better get the last which I
	   don't know what it is because I'm not paying for that kind of 
	   behavior! :-)

Does anybody have some more ideas?  Especially on the organisation side.  How
can I encourage without punishing because punishment seems to have exactly the
opposite effect on this kid?

Sorry this got a bit long and thanks for all your good ideas.

Cheryl
368.17Learning styles . . .STOWOA::CROWTHERMaxine 276-8226Wed Feb 10 1993 09:2734
<<< Note 368.16 by TANNAY::BETTELS "Cheryl, DTN 821-4022, Management Systems Research" >>>
                        -< How to teach concentration? >-

My 10 year old also has organization problems.  His school provides each child 
with a homework book that look like a weekly minder only bigger - one week
per page.  They are expected to write down their homework assignments in it
and to check it before leaving school to make sure they have all their
books etc.  That makes the school-home transition a little easier.  Ian had
a very tough time last year but has shown remarkable improvement this year
in taking responsibility for his own actions.  If he does well he knows he
has done it himself, if he does poorly he has only himself to blame.  If
he should forget something he takes responsibility to call one of his
friends for the assignemt.

In school, he has problems, like your son, focusing on work.  I think your
ideas are great.  My son has no problem with asking and answering questions,
he has problems with chatting with his friends in class and not concentrating.
I consider that to be the teacher's problem.  If Ian needs to be separated
then the teacher can do that.

His fourth grade year, last year, was so bad that we had him tested for learn-
ing style issues.  It turns out that he is very visual and pattern-oriented
which means that it takes him some time to internalize verbal education and
turn them into patterns he can repeat.  It also means that listening in
class is not the best way for him to learn so he tends not to.  Things like 
math and writing are very easy for him because math is so repetitious and 
writing is putting his visual images into words.  He has a more trouble with 
social studies and science-oriented stuff which, at his age, are fairly verbal.

He picks up a language next year, and I expect he will have some trouble with
it.

It may pay to have Marcus tested through the school for his learning style.

368.18RICKS::PATTONWed Feb 10 1993 13:0821
    Cheryl,
    
    A couple of comments... Your description of Mark reminded me so much of
    my nephew about a year ago. His mother commented at the time that his
    teachers said that a lot of boys in early adolescence go through a
    spell of poor performance, and not to call in the riot police too soon.
    She did exert some gentle persuasion and pressure and sure enough, his
    first set of grades this year showed great improvement.             
    
    I remember you described how he has taken over all responsibility for
    his own night wetting problem. He sounds like a thoughtful and
    sensitive kid. Maybe this is generally a period of big changes and 
    the school stuff reflects that.   
    
    About your suggestion that he raise his hand at least three times in
    each class -- if it were me, and my mother had proposed such a thing, I
    would've said "get out of my life, Mom!" Maybe you have a better
    relationship with Mark than that, though! And your other suggestions
    seemed good.  
    
    Lucy
368.19HandraisingTANNAY::BETTELSCheryl, DTN 821-4022, Management Systems ResearchThu Feb 11 1993 03:0218
I've said this to both boys who have at one time or another had comments made
about their lack of class participation.  They seem to take it well.  The
three times is a target, not a strict requirement :-)  What I've said is that
if they are paying enough attention to be able to raise their hand with a 
certain degree of confidence at least three times in a class, then they are
certainly paying enough attention to get good marks for effort and their 
grades will automatically go up.  It is a tangible measure of their attention in
class for themselves, rather than just saying "make sure you pay attention in
class."

The other problem is how to get Markus over the need for instant gratification.
Now that he seems to be making an effort, he seems to think it will all
instantly go better and more easily.  So I work a lot on encouragement with 
frequent reminders that the payback may take awhile to make itself evident.  
Unfortunately, he still gets as frustrated as ever so his home behavior takes
a bit of patience to deal with.

Cheryl
368.20Try EverythingNCMAIL::KINNEYDAll Mach, No VectorWed Nov 23 1994 15:4685
    
    We have had trouble with Brian since 1st grade. He is 10 and in 5th
    grade and he still gets the same kind of comments. Poor organization,
    disrupts the class, and does not follow instructions. His grades are
    decidedly average. He is bright enough, no Einstein, but as we all hear
    so often, could do better. We have over several years:
    
    Had his eyes and ears checked - he needed glasses to see the board from
    the back of the class. He now sits in the front of his class but needs
    to be reminded to wear his glasses when reading from the board.
    
    Full medical evaluation - No problems, pysical or neurological.
    
    Did a 5 week trial on 5mg ridlin (sp) 2 times a day. No change except
    he lost his appitite and lost too much weight (he was a rail to begin
    with)
    
    Had him attend Primary Project, an in school program twice a week for an
    hour to help him with listening skills. He is no longer in the program
    because after working with them we determined their skills and
    qualifications were somewhat dubious. Plus, Brian was missing important
    class time.
    
    Had a reading evaluation - He was indeed behind in reading skills.
    After two years remedial reading, he is at grade level.
    
    Talked with principal - made sure he got assigned to a teacher with
    strong organizational skills.
    
    Talked with School shrink, just to let him know what was going on. He
    was little help, in any way.
    
    Punishment and reward system - inconsistent results at best!
    
    ADD evaluation - most recent effort. We went to an outsie Behavioral
    Pediatric group to do the eval. The results were that Brian does
    exhibit some of the traits of an ADD child, however, he is not as
    severe as others and may be helped with some environmental
    modifications. Some of these:
    
    Homework must be in the basket on the teachers desk by 9am. In his
    first marking period, Brian got 30, count em 30, homework notices. The
    teachers assures us this is a school record! His homework is done each
    day after school, no matter how nice the weather is, and he always has
    it done. He just can't seem to get it into the basket on time. He now
    has a watch that beeps at 8:55am, and a sticker on his desk that reads:
    "Have you handed in your homework??" So far, only one notice after two
    weeks of the second marking period. Better if it lasts. I wonder what
    that sticker has written on it right now??!!
    
    We got him a very nice professional organizer. All his folders and
    paperwork are stored here, along with his homework assignment book,
    that must be signed by the teacher daily, to assure he has written the
    assingments, and must be signed by a parent every night, to assure we
    knew he had homework. This has worked out well except it has a velcro
    closure, which is a very nice and I'm told annoying fidget feature.
    Nothings perfect!
    
    WE have cut back on the sugar intake, mostly cereal in the morning,
    just to see if there is any reaction.
    
    We are constantly on the look out for devices that may help. Some work,
    some don't, some are worse than the original problem. But we try
    everything! 
    
    The biggest problem is getting the school to cooperate. We cannot get the 
    teacher to do simple stuff, like at 9am ask Brian to put his homework in 
    the basket. The say they just don't have the tme for this, or 'Brian,
    shouldn't you be wearing your glasses?'. We ahve sent a letter to the
    principal to express our frustration. We'll see what becomes of that.
    
    Next year it's sixth grade, seven teachers, seven classes, a locker,
    bells for everything. It's not going to be a pretty sight. I am already
    trying to get the school to let Brian and I vist the new school and see
    how it operates just to give him some idea for what he is in for.
    
    I am also looking for a summer camp that combines fun with skills for
    school, like getting organized, taking notes, study habits, studing
    from notes you took, and the like. So far, no luck though.
    
    I had begun to think "Are we just trying to teach this pig to fly?",
    but that was only momentary!!!
    
    Dave Kinney
    
368.21go for moreNPSS::NPSS::BADGERCan DO!Mon Nov 28 1994 11:5326
    Hi David,   perhaps you may want to visit the ADD conference.
    
    I am puzzled, a trial period of Ritalin before an evaluation.?!
    
    you don't say which state you live in and that's important.
    If it were my child, I'd insist in writting for an evaluation on Brian
    for LD considerations.   All states don't consider ADD a LD, but many
    do.  after testing, or if your state allows that ADD is a LD, then you
    can come up with an IEP that addresses some of the matters that need
    addressing, such as writting in it that Brains's teacher will remind
    him to submit his homework.....
    
    I would strongly suggest that you get a book on ADD and read about it.
    It will help you understand Brian's struggle, if indeed he does have
    ADD.  And there are other medications other than Ritalin that can be
    used, if Ritalin's side affects are bad for Brian.
    
    ADD is an 'invisible' condition.  Many children who have undiagnosed
    ADD are 'mistreated' by the system, labeled as trouble makers, or lazy,
    when they are suffering from a little understood problem.  Would one
    label a blind child who can not read regular text as dumb?  No, they'd
    have modifications.  And so the ADD child needs modifications in the 
    manner in which they learn.
    ed
    
    
368.22USCTR1::HSCOTTLynn Hanley-ScottMon Nov 28 1994 14:025
    re -1
    
    
    IEP = Individual Educational Plan
    
368.23Neurological consultPOWDML::KNELSONWed Apr 02 1997 13:4113
    My daughter Holly is almost 6 and will go into first grade in
    September.  She is a very bright little girl, and has been in a
    language-based kindergarten where she has really blossomed.  However,
    she's still having trouble paying attention.  Her teacher filled out
    the Conners [Activity? Attention] Scale, and in several key areas, such
    as "mood changes quickly and dramatically" she scores really high
    (i.e., "almost all the time").  Her K teacher recommended that we get a
    neurological evaluation.  Last time I asked my pediatrician to write a
    referral, he said no.  "They [the school system] are always asking for
    neurological consults," he said.  What should I do??
    
    Thanks,
    Kate
368.24MPGS::WOOLNERYour dinner is in the supermarketWed Apr 02 1997 14:5623
    Kate,
    
    I believe one place to start is to get the school system to perform a
    "Core [or CORE] evaluation".  This seems to be something of which parents
    are expected (by the schools) to have full knowledge; I think it's the
    first step toward getting the school to acknowledge that there may be a
    problem/learning disability/roadblock and acknowledge that they have
    tools for just such situations.  I believe you can *demand* a core
    evaluation (and I don't think the public schools will help you at all
    unless you have already divined that this is what is needed and that
    they are obliged to perform this evaluation).
    
    I (not having been born with full knowledge of the CORE mystique)
    finally paid for an evalution at U Mass Medical which confirmed my
    suspicions that my daughter is borderline ADD (no meds recommended,
    thank goodness).  Had I forced the school to do a CORE and pushed them
    relentlessly :-) I probably could have gotten the school to pay for the 
    U Mass evaluation, but in retrospect I think I'm glad I paid in $$
    instead of angst.  YMMV, especially since you have A Clue :-) and you
    have it early (in our case, Alex was entering 4th grade).
    
    Best of luck,
    Leslie 
368.25SAPPHO::DUBOISHailstorm Project LeaderThu Apr 03 1997 14:503
If you are going to request a CORE, do it in writing.  

     Carol
368.26She's been CoredPOWDML::KNELSONMon Apr 14 1997 17:273
    We have already had her core evaluated, this is why she's in the
    special language-based K.  I guess I am looking for help in approaching
    the pedi.
368.27My 2 cents\SAPPHO::DUBOISHailstorm Project LeaderThu Apr 17 1997 15:4113
Kate, it sounds like an insurance problem.  My guess is that you are under
an HMO.  Do you have HMO-elect?  Your pediatrician may be reluctant to 
refer you to a neurologist because he gets zinged by the HMO, but if you
can do this under John Hancock (or another HMO, perhaps through a spouse?)
then it should be fine.

Either way, I'd push.  Tell the doctor how important it is to you.  Many 
doctors push back because it works.  If you really feel your daughter needs
this, insist on it.  Start out being polite, then judge it from how your
doctor responds.  

  Carol

368.28Ask the school to evaluate.CPEEDY::FLEURYFri Apr 18 1997 09:1711
    RE: .23
    
    If you live in Ma, request that the evaluation be conducted by the
    school.  The school system is REQUIRED to provide this.  Seek a legal
    opinion if necessary.  Given that the consultation is to evaluate and
    recommend an education path, this is covered under state statues for
    school provided services.  If there are further questions about this
    (particularly in Ma) please feel free to send me mail.  I can get
    further info for you anonymously.
    
    DAN